The Diary of a Nobody/October 18

Read Free Fortnight continues!

Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Thursday, October 18
This will surprise a lot of you, but I had lunch at the local diner today…The Wife was off working off her membership at the health club in town and I was hungry, plus The Wife said this morning over coffee that she had gone there recently herself and found the service slow even by their standards, with new owner Todd several times forgetting whether she wanted her potato mashed or baked…So today’s outing was more of a quality control spot check rather than a mere indulgence because the very best way I could think of to make sure my usual Stromboli remained up to snuff was to field test it myself. 

I am pleased to report it is, tho Todd should hire real waitresses instead of doing this himself because all he does is get in the way…First, all he really does is watch one of those pawn shop shows on the TV and when he did try and do something he screwed it up…First, he brought me the wrong order, some loser burger, and then, a few minutes later, he took my Stromboli to the wrong table…I almost screamed and came this close to leaping from my seat…Fortunately, catastrophe was averted and I am pleased to report the Stromboli was up to the usual five-star standard I have come to enjoy. 

When I walked out the kitchen door to head to lunch there was an advisory from the town on the doorknob advising there had been a water main break overnight and to boil all water for five minutes first and we should do this for the next 24 hours…Something got mucked up and there is a teeny-weeny danger of parasites and microbes and other things I know squat about…So when I got home from lunch I boiled some water in the big stew pot…It took over 30 minutes to get it boiling and, following advice, I let it boil for five minutes….This was stupid of me because The Wife has long kept two cases of gallon jugs of water in the house, and the boiled water is still sitting on the stove.

I am fussing over the new falsies constantly…I rinse them after every meal – in the boiled water today – and I brush them before I go to bed, tho I don’t soak them in that bubbly cleaning solution every night because the dentist said that wasn’t particularly necessary…If I had taken this good of care of my real teeth I probably wouldn’t have needed the falsies in the first place.

I haven’t seen neighbor Jerry since he put his house on the market last month but, boy, he is really slashing prices…He’s come down almost $25k and his house is now priced to move at $334K…Since I’m not standing watch at his front door all the time, it’s hard to tell if he’s getting any showings.

Also available in the neighborhood: a plot with four mobile homes for $220 just down Maple Street from The Shire, the shack down Mainstreet a few blocks for $200K, a round number the seller seems to be stuck on, and a new listing down near the high school, five bedrooms for $365…For the record, The Shire is valued at almost double what we paid for it, tho that is probably a tad optimistic.

The Wife and I went and saw a movie tonight, a really good movie about Neil Armstrong who, of course, was the first man to walk on the moon…That is one of my earliest memories and I’ve always enjoyed space travel, well reading about, I’ve never actually traveled in space, except for the virtual reality trip to the space station at the big city museum, and this movie was really good…The moon landing sequence, in particular, was just like I dreamed it would have been like back when I dreamt of those things.

Sparrow’s Sleep Log: 0030 Thursday until 0830 Thursday…8 hours which makes 18 for the past two nights and 34.5 for the week, not too bad considering the slow start.

The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence.

It was inspired by the 19th century British novel of the same name.

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