The Diary of a Nobody/October 26

Read Free Fortnight continues!

Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Friday, October 26
Scrambled to make arrangements to get the snow tires on The Wife’s car today…I had forgotten about it, frankly…Autumn so far has been rather warm and awfully sunny and snow tires haven’t really at the forefront of anyone’s mind…Except for The Wife…She called me today to remind me about it because she is heading to a conference next Thursday.

Crap!

Compounding the matter is the fact her car needs two new tires…OK, we can order them online from the retailer, which I did and the order said they would be delivered Tuesday…Yay!!!…We can pick them up and have them installed Wednesday at the local tire shop and BOOM The Wife has first-class winter tires for her conference in the big city.

The only problem was the Tuesday arrival was Tuesday, November 6, not this coming Tuesday…Double crap…So I make some calls but nobody calls me back with estimates so on the way into the retailer I stop by the tire shop on the edge of town and they can order what we need and have it hear Monday and, whew, we can install they can still be installed on Wednesday…I’m grateful…One of my duties as husband is to ensure The Wife’s snow tires are on at an appropriate time and it is best for all concerned I not be derilect in this duty. 

Here are the latest poll numbers from our Congressional district:

Sparrow: 100%
GOP Incumbent: 0%
Democratic Wannabe: 0%

There’s no margin of error, either…Everyone who talked to me about who they were going to vote for said they were going to vote for ol’ Sparrow…This includes both Dave and Buzz at the retailer, plus a couple of customers who know me, plus the vote I saw The Wife cast and I am projecting that, based on my own past voting trends, that I will vote for myself, too…100 percent.

Buzz was even wearing a Sparrow For Congress sticker at the retailer tonight…I am not making that up!!!…He made it himself, with a white sticker and a green marker…He actually said he was going to do this earlier in the week and I didn’t really believe him but there it was tonight, right there on his vest under his name badge…I was touched, so I said thank you and was so moved I didn’t even make a funny or smart-ass comment.

Also at the retailer tonight I think we found out what the least expensive item we sell is: felt backing for 23 cents…This lady came up with four of them for some craft project she was selling…Previously, the lowest priced item I can remember selling was a small, plastic container you find in the toiletries section.

And I got compromising pics of Carrie the Manager as she was climbing out of a very large pumpkin box today…I happened to be outside, camera in hand, because I had taken a pic of a barcode to a BBQ that was on clearance that guy wanted to by and me heading over camera in hand got some pretty good laffs…As it was, all the pics came out blurry, so I won’t be able to blackmail her, altho pics of people crawling out of boxes really aren’t all that compromising anyway.

The most interesting purchase of the night came from  a lady who bought two mousetraps and a some spreadable pimento cheese…I’m usually good for a useless comment here but, in the Upset of the Year, I kept quiet.

In other news, I’ve taken to keeping some lotion in my vest pocket…The soap in the bathrooms here always leave your hands bone dry and I always wash my hands and while Patty always kept some lotion at the service desk it ran out recently and Patty has not seen fit to replace it yet…So I went and bought a small tube from the travel section and it comes in handy at least once a shift…Also in my vest pockets are a comb (in case I forget mine at home) and my box cutter which is seldom used but looks hot with the cord clipped to the hole in my zipper.

Lots of quality time with Nicole at Hotel B tonight…I got the complete update: boyfriend issues, future travel plans, getting her skis shipped out here (Nicole was an accomplished high school skier in her native Wisconsin), the whole nine yards…She didn’t have everybody checked in upon my arrival as I prefer, but it probably isn’t her fault some guy didn’t show up until 0200.

Sparrow’s Sleep Log: 2330 Thursday until 0830 Friday…I’ll be honest, the go-to-sleep time could be a little off, but still, a satisfying night’s rest…It will lay a good foundation for tomorrow’s usual 24-hour day.

The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence.

It was inspired by the 19th century British novel of the same name.

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