The Diary of a Nobody: Thu 6/28/2018

Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Wednesday, June 27
Finally, The Wife is home…For a while, because they asked her to go back and the money’s pretty good so she said yes, but we have a few days together here at The Shire…To celebrate her return we had a very nice BBQ…Grilled some ribeyes and I made my famous shells and cheese, tho The Wife vetoed biscuits…Why she vetoed biscuits isn’t immediately clear because she likes them as much as I do, but whatever.

I had The Shire looking pretty good for her return…I mowed the lawn and cleaned the kitchen and completely took leave of my senses and even folded clothes…Gone were the clothes and cat food on the kitchen table and the dishes were washed and put away and I even vacuumed the kitchen rug…My bags from last weeks Legion convention, still conveniently located on the couch, were unpacked and put away, too.

Only the refrigerator didn’t pass muster…I hadn’t touched anything in there except mayonnaise and cheese for five weeks and everything, mostly leftovers, had to be thrown out, container and all…The only cooking I really did while she was gone was microwaving some frozen chicken fried steak or chicken patties and making sandwiches out of them…Or dirtying a knife for some peanut butter and jelly…Nothing else in the frig really got a second look…The Wife looked at me with a look of pity and almost wept when I told her this was the first meal at the kitchen table since she left.

I changed the setting on the lawn mower today, too…Regular readers of this crap may – or they may not – recall I changed it from the lowest setting to the middle setting a couple of weeks ago, but this was not producing a decent looking lawn, so I set it in between low and medium and it looks pretty sharp…Pretty sharp…Not really sharp…It has been hot and dry and the lawn is browner than usual and, of course, there are weeds all over the place.

While I was doing Quadrant D I made sure to sneak looks at Jerry’s lawn to see how his was getting on and I gleefully noted he was having the same weed problems The Shire is experiencing, tho it must be noted he has more trees, and hence more shade, than I do, so his lawn is greener.

I gave the lawn a good soaking, too…I set up the sprinkler right after mowing, but the wind was blowing and to get a decent watering of The Shire’s lawn I would have had to have placed the sprinkler in the middle of Maple Street…So I did it by hand…I’d stand over an area and hold the hose, with nozzle attachment set for a wide spray, directly over the area, sort of like if you were power washing your deck…This method gives it a really good drenching in a short amount of time…My lawn was dry and brown and thirsty and I took my time, taking a couple of hours, and I felt like I was caring for a sick relative the whole time…For good measure, once there were some shaded areas late in the afternoon, and after the wind died down, I turned the sprinkler on.

Sparrow’s Sleep Log: 1900ish Wednesday night until 0700 Thursday…12 hours more or less…You know, I’m accustomed to staying up for long periods, but boy was I tired when I got home Wednesday night and I went straight to bed after feeding the cat…I still don’t know if the cat woke me up or if she was merely waiting for me to get up and feed her…I think I woke up when a dream ended and the cat just happened to be there but, tragedy of tragedies, we’ll never know for sure and I have too much respect for the Sleep Log to guess…I know you do, too.  

This has been a good week in the sack…The weekly total is already at 36 hours and there are still two sleep periods remaining in the reporting period which ends Saturday.

The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence.

The Diary of a Nobody was inspired by the 19th century British novel of the same name.

Read Gaylon’s latest: We The People: Making America America Again at www.GaylonKent.com

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