The Daily Dose/January 21, 2024
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™

The Sunday Bottom 5
A ranking of some things. 

1. Donald Trump – Newsweek article cites Trump’s cognitive decline, but how in the hell can anyone tell???…Trump is already on record as believing the moon is part of Mars and that the Revolution was won by the securing of British airports…How much more decline can there be???

2. Detroit Lions – Longtime NFL ineptitude standard bearers, Lions won second playoff game since 1957 last week and today host second game in same playoffs for first time ever… Needless to say, Lions looking to become first team ever to go 0-16, later make Super Bowl. 

3. Mass Shootings – The 3-hole staple…Eight (8) mass shootings (incidents with four or more injuries/deaths) in US this week – almost triple last week’s total – with eleven (11) dead and 27 wounded…Slow start to 2024, as average of 1.2352 mass shootings per day down from 2023 average of 1.8

4. Japan Moon Lander – Japanese successfully land unmanned craft on moon, though failing solar panel means it is not generating electricity and will probably die soon…Difficulties of moon landings magnified by problems everyone – including US – having in getting/returning to moon, with Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters beginning to “strongly suspect” Apollo was ahead of its time. 

5. Spirit/JetBlue Merger – Federal judge blocks merger, noting this was akin to the merging of two strains of the clap…Ruling also cited having two second-rate airlines focused on lousy service, plenty of tacked-on charges better for competition than one second-rate powerhouse. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

It’s Read Free Sunday (RFS) at The Diary. 

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow deals with someone who won’t shut up. Today’s Diary. 

Good God, you’re annoying, which explains why you’re having problems with both your wife and your girlfriend…

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On This Date
Extra, extra, read all about it. 

In 1954 – The world’s first nuclear-powered submarine, the USS Nautilus (SSN-571), is launched in Groton, Connecticut. Nautilus would be commissioned in September and in 1958 became the first submarine to transit the North Pole. Nautilus served until 1980 and is now a museum in New London, Connecticut. The ship was named after the fictional submarine in the Jules Verne novel Twenty Thousand Leagues Under The Sea.

In 1978 – Roberto Duran of Panama becomes the undisputed world lightweight champion with 12th-round TKO of Esteban de Jesus of Puerto Rico at Caesars Palace in Las Vegas. With the win, Duran retained the WBA title he had first won in 1972 and also won de Jesus’ WBC title. It was his last fight as a lightweight and he vacated both titles to move up in class to welterweight, a title he would win in 1980 with a victory over Sugar Ray Leonard.  Duran last fought in 2001 and retired with a 103-16 career record.

In 1985 – Bruce Springsteen is at #1 on the Billboard 200 album chart for the fourth of seven non-consecutive weeks with Born in the USA. It was the second of ten #1 albums for Springsteen and the album also went #1 in ten other countries including the Netherlands, Norway, and Great Britain, and was Billboard’s 28th-biggest album of 1984, its #1 album of 1985, and its 16th-biggest of 1986. It produced seven chart singles, all Top 10s, including the Top 5 hits Dancing in the Dark and Glory Days. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.

…a nation so furiously dedicated to peace that it was almost never not at war to ensure ultimate peace for all time.
Gore Vidal
The Golden Age

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

George Washington’s first term as president of the United States began on April 30, 1789. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

What was the last diesel submarine warship in the US Navy? – Answer next time!

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The Daily Dose/January 20, 2024
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience. 

USA! USA!: One of the tidbits we’ve been pointing out for years here is that America has been at war every day since our invasion of Panama in 1989. The consequences of over 30 years of continuous warfare have been enormous, with a violent US government producing both a violent world and violent US citizens. 

You Can’t Tell The Combatants Without A Scorecard: It’s not stopping anytime soon, either, with President Joe Biden recently authorizing strikes in Yemen against an Iranian-backed militia. These strikes, of course, are acts of war.

Why Do We Even Bother: War, at least in the United States, must be declared by Congress. It’s right there in the Constitution, Article I, Section 8, Clause 11 which states, in part: 

The Congress shall have Power To…To declare War. 

Dry, Technical Matter: This provision, of course, could not be more ignored if prizes were issued for non-compliance because Congress hasn’t declared war since World War II despite US military involvement the world over since then. 

Ladies And Gentlemen Of The Jury: Would 9/11 would have happened had America been at peace every day since 1988? Of course not. Don’t kid yourself. 

Welcome To Fantasy Island: Could you imagine the world and country we would have had America been at peace every day since 1989 instead of at war? Well, we can’t either, but we can try. First off, the Twin Towers would still be standing because 9/11 would not have happened if the US allowed other nations the dignity of letting other nations conduct their affairs without US interference. The world be a more peaceful place and so would America. 

The Bottom Line: We really shouldn’t be surprised at this. War has been mankind’s calling card since time immemorial and has been America’s since before the Revolution. We were born in war, matured in war, took the world stage in war, and we will die in war. Anybody who tries to tell you anything different is either lying to themselves, lying to you or, as likely as not, both. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow has shocking news from the gym. Today’s Diary. 

The big news at the gym is there’s a new 20 lb medicine ball…

———

Would you like 4Ever & Ever access to Gaylon’s crap?
Of course you would.
Click here. It’s only $24.99.

Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device. 

———

On This Date
Extra, extra, read all about it. 

In 1953 – Dwight D Eisenhower becomes the first US president to begin his presidency on Jan. 20. Presidents had been inaugurated on March 4 since George Washington’s second term began in 1793 and changed with the ratification of the 20th Amendment in 1933. The first president to have been inaugurated on January 20 was Franklin D Roosevelt who began his second term on January 20, 1937. 

In 1910 – The Ottawa Senators retain the Stanley Cup, defeating the Edmonton Hockey Club 13-7 in the second game of a two-game challenge series in Ottawa. It was the seventh of twelve Stanley Cup wins for the Senators, and their second in three weeks, after defending the Cup from a challenge from the Galt Hockey Club. The Stanley Cup’s challenge era, which began in 1894, would last through 1914.

In 1946 – Bing Crosby and Carmen Cavalarro are at #1 on Billboard’s Best-Selling Retail Records chart – one of several predecessors to the Hot 100 – for the only week with I Can’t Begin to Tell You. It was the seventh of eleven #1s for Crosby and remains the only Billboard singles chart appearance for Cavalarro – a popular piano player of the era. The song was also in its fourth of six non-consecutive weeks at #1 on Billboard’s Most-Played in Juke Box charts.

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.

Writers don’t make good husbands. They reserve their Eros for their art.
Saul Bellow
Ravelstein

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

There are two trivia questions to be answered:

At the 1908 London Summer Games, England (gold), Ireland (silver), and Wales and Scotland (both bronze) won field hockey medals. They are all now credited to Great Britain. 

Besides Gene Cernan, John Young and Jim Lovell have also flown to the moon twice. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

When did George Washington begin his first term as president of the United States? – Answer next time!

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Editor’s Note: Due to time constraints, we do not have a fresh Daily Dose for you today. However, we are pleased to ramp up Mr Time Machine to offer this feature from seven years ago today. 

Click here to read today’s entry in The Diary of a Nobody.

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The Daily Dose/January 19, 2017
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

UP…UP…AND AWAY: Gene Cernan, famously known as the last human to set foot on the moon, died this week. He was 82.

Cernan’s death means half of the twelve men who have walked on the moon are now dead and the six that remain aren’t getting any younger. The youngest is Cernan’s shipmate Harrison Schmitt who is 81. The oldest is Buzz Aldrin, the second human to set foot on the moon, who will be 87 on Friday. The time is coming when the world will have no one alive who can tell us what it is like to walk on another heavenly body. Our loss.

And Still Heavyweight Champion of the World: Cernan, frankly, is likely to retain the title of Last Human To Set Foot on the Moon for quite some time. Even if America dropped everything and tried to send someone back to the moon as soon as possible, it would probably take us a decade to get back, itself a sign of how far our country has fallen.

Get Out Your History Books: Recall that in the 1960s America started from nothing and went to the moon in less than a decade. In fact, we did it in just over eight years, 2,983 days to be exact, from the time President John F Kennedy set the goal before Congress on May 25, 1961, to the time Neil Armstrong took man’s first step on the moon on July 20, 1969.

Dry, Technical Matter: Cernan, Harrison Schmidt, and Ron Evans left for the moon on December 7, 1972 and returned to Earth on December 19. Cernan and Schmitt become the last humans to depart the moon on December 14.

Return To Earth: Anyone familiar with Cernan knows his role as the last human to walk on the moon moved him deeply. He called it the great moment of his life and fretted that nothing he’d ever do would measure up to that. He also fretted that his final words on the moon would not be up to the moment.

Cernan fretted needlessly. His words as he left the moon were as momentous as Neil Armstrong’s “one small step” line, which had heralded man’s arrival on the moon. Cernan’s quote remains one of our favorites:

America’s challenge of today has forged man’s destiny of tomorrow.

Great words, one of those rare instances in human history where the right person had the right words at the right time.

Fly In The Ointment: Unfortunately, America has taken a pass on her destiny of tomorrow. Not only have we not been back to the moon, not only have we not been to Mars, we can’t even send anyone into space anymore!

Not going back to the moon, frankly, isn’t really important. We are still the only nation to put humans on the moon and doing it again isn’t going to make that much of a difference.

Not going to Mars, though, boy, we should all be hanging our collective heads in shame over that one. We failed. By not following-up in the successes of the Apollo program, we failed the world, we failed History and most of all we failed ourselves. Had we wanted to, we could’ve had men on Mars in the 1980s. Don’t doubt that. Spurred on by Apollo’s momentum, good old American innovation and Fate’s general approval that is issued whenever someone or something tries to better themselves, being on Mars could’ve been routine decades ago.

It is reasonable, though not definite, to suppose the innovation required by this effort probably would see us leading substantively better lives than we do now.

Our Loss: Today, instead of having a colony on Mars, America is mired in war and debt and domestic violence. Later this week a misfit named Donald Trump will become president and America is on her way to being tossed aside History’s scrap heap if we don’t do something in the next generation or so.

CAN SOMEONE LEAD US IN A REBEL YELL, PLEASE?: Georgia secedes from the United States on this date in 1861, joining South Carolina, Florida, Mississippi and Alabama, who had seceded earlier. In April the battle of Fort Sumter would begin the Civil War and, ultimately, eleven stataes would secede and form the Confederate States of America. After getting their keesters handed to them by the North in the Civil War, all would rejoin the Union.

Can Somebody Please Turn The Lights Off When You Leave A Room?: Thomas Edison’s system of providing electricity from overhead wires goes into operation, in Roselle, New Jersey, for the first time on this date in 1883.

Edison built the system to show that large areas could be provided electricity. A nearby steam generator sent electricity to wires that went to a store, the train depot, 40 homes and 150 street lights.

Fly The Friendly Skies: Noted recluse Howard Hughes sets a new record by flying from Los Angeles to New York in seven hours, 28 minutes and 25 seconds on this date in 1937. Hughes broke the record of 9 hours, 27 minutes set by Howard Hughes a year earlier.

FunFact: The first cross-America record recorded came in 1911, when Calbraith Perry Rogers flew from Sheepshead Bay, New York on September 17, 1911 and arrived in Pasadena, California on November, 5.

Oh Jesus H: The current record is 64 minutes, held by the supersonic Sr-71 Blackbird, which did it in 1990.

The Long And Winding Road: Nazi war criminal Klaus Barbie is arrested in Bolivia on this date in 1984.

Barbie had an illustrious career as a war criminal, earning the nickname The Butcher of Lyon for his torture and killing of French prisoners in World War II. He also gained notoriety for sending 44 Jewish orphans to a concentration camp. After the war, he had been employed by the CIA to help with anti-communism efforts in Europe. Barbie eventually settled in Bolivia, where he lived comfortably, at least until the new government decided to have him arrested.

Barbie refused to acknowledge the legality of his extradition to France, and spent most of his trial in his prison cell. He was convicted, sentenced to life in prison, where he died in 1991.

Thought For The Day: Enriched by a singular event that is larger than life, I no longer have the luxury of being ordinary. – Gene Cernan

Answer To The Last Trivia Question: The first NFL team to change cities were the Decatur Staleys, who moved to Chicago and became the Bears in 1922.

Today’s Stumper: Gene Cernan is one of three people to fly to the moon twice. Who are the other two?  – Answer next time!

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The Daily Dose/January 18, 2024
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience. 

Leading Off remains in time-out.

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow meets another Sparrow. Today’s Diary. 

He seemed to find this somewhat less moving than we did, but eventually we found out his ancestors came from Germany and seemed to have settled almost immediately in Indiana…The Sparrows came from England and settled in Baltimore before starting the trek west…

———

Would you like 4Ever & Ever access to Gaylon’s crap?
Of course you would.
Click here. It’s only $24.99.

Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device. 

———

On This Date
Extra, extra, read all about it. 

In 1967 – Albert DeSalvo is convicted of various crimes, including those attributed to the Boston Strangler, and is sentenced to life imprisonment. DeSalvo had been initially been arrested in connection with several rapes in the area and was not suspected in the murders until he confessed to them. There were inconsistencies in his confession, and no physical evidence was found, but DNA evidence would later link him to one Boston Strangler victim. DeSalvo was stabbed to death in prison in 1973. 

In 1886 – Modern field hockey comes into existence with the creation of The Hockey Association in England, where the game had developed in schools earlier in the century. Field hockey first appeared in the Olympics at the 1908 London Games and continuously since the 1928 Amsterdam Games. India (8) has won the most men’s gold medals while the Netherlands (3) has won the most women’s gold medals. The US has won two bronze medals, the men in 1932 and the women in 1984, both in Los Angeles. 

In 1969 – Marvin Gaye is at #1 on both Billboard’s Hot 100 and soul chart for the sixth of seven consecutive weeks with I Heard It Through the Grapevine. The song also went to #1 in Great Britain, and due to charting in both the 1968 and 1969 survey periods, it was Billboard’s 88th-biggest song of 1969.  It was the first of three #1 pop hits for Gaye and his fifth of 13 #1 soul songs. In 1967, a version by Gladys Knight & the Pips went #2 pop and #1 soul. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.

…he reminded himself he was not noble. He did what he wanted to do and not more.
Gore Vidal
Washington, D.C. 

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

The first women’s golf major championship was the 1930 Western Open, won by Lucia Mida of the US. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

Which nations won field hockey medals at the 1908 London Games? – Answer next time!

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The Daily Dose/January 17, 2024
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience. 

Leading Off will return.

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow finds a lost and found item he’s never seen before. Today’s Diary. 

We were surprised, because when you’ve knocked around assorted hotels in various roles as long as we have you would think there wouldn’t be further surprises…

———

Would you like 4Ever & Ever access to Gaylon’s crap?
Of course you would.
Click here. It’s only $24.99.

Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device. 

———

On This Date
Extra, extra, read all about it. 

In 1899 – The US claims Wake Island in the South Pacific, after years of visits by US and European ships. Japan occupied the island during World War II and today it is adminitered by the US Air Force. The Marshall Islands, a former US possession, also claim Wake Island, though since defense of the Marshall Islands is the responsibility of the US, it is not anticipated they will go to war over it. 

In 1937 – Patty Berg of the US wins the Titleholders Cup by three strokes over Dorothy Kirby of the US at Augusta Country Club in Augusta, Georgia. Berg shot a final round 73 to make up an eight-stroke deficit in the third and final round. It was the first of a record 15 major titles for Berg, who won a total of seven Titleholders Cups, seven Western Opens and a US Open. Berg served in the Marine Corps Reserve in World War II and was elected to golf’s Hall of Fame in 1951.

In 1987 – Gregory Abbott is at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the only week with Shake You Down. The song also went to #1 in New Zealand and Spain, peaked at #6 in Great Britain, spent two weeks at #1 on Billboard’s soul chart, and was Billbord’s 3rd-biggest song of the year. It was the second chart single for Abbott and remains his only Top 40 pop hit. Abbott also wrote and produced the song. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.

This species could have been so great, and now everybody just wants a new Salad Shooter or sneakers with lights in them. This is what we’ve settled for.
George Carlin

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

Yesterday’s trivia question is withdrawn. We found a variety of answers and were unable to establish which one was correct. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

When was the first women’s golf major played? – Answer next time!

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