The Bottom Ten/NFL Week 14

The Bottom Ten/NFL Week 14
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Wow.

Never has head-to-head competition been so important in the race for sport’s grandest trophy, The Dan Henning Trophy – symbolic of NFL Bottom Ten supremacy.

It actually had made things rather easy for Bottom Ten pollsters as Denver losing to the Giants and the Giants losing to San Francisco has made the rankings easy, even though San Francisco fan(s) have filed an official protest as their one-win team has been left off the Bottom Ten medal stand.

This week’s imbroglio, as the nags stumble around the far turn:  

1. Cleveland Browns  (0-11; lost to Cincinnati 30-16) – Browns sprint out to early 3-0 lead before turning it over to defense, who gives up points on first five (5) possessions…Browns seeking to avenge only 2016 win with loss to Chargers this week…Browns 17th NFL team to start season 0-11…They were also the 16th…Next Loss: at San Diego

2. Denver Broncos (3-8; lost to Oakland 21-14) – While three (3) wins usually not good enough for B-10 runner-up spot, Broncos peaking at right time with seven (7) straight losses…Broncos showing they can lose close ones, losing last two (2) games by combined ten (10) points after three straight blowouts…Next Loss: at Miami

3. New York Giants (2-9; lost to Washington 20-10) – Defense key, breaking open tie game, allowing touchdown, field goal in last five (5) minutes…Despite two (2) wins, Giants keep coveted B-10 (10) medal stand berth by having loss in hand to 49ers…Next Loss: at Oakland

4. San Francisco (1-10; lost to Seahawks 24-13) – Victory over Giants coming back to haunt Niners, as B-10 pollsters “pretty sure” San Francisco first 1-10 team ever to miss B-10 medal stand…Next Loss: at Chicago

5. Chicago Bears (3-8; lost to Philadelphia 31-3) – Bears limbering up for B-10 stretch drive with fourth straight loss…With games against 49ers and Browns still to come, Bears strong dark horse candidate for B-10 title…Next Loss: San Francisco

6. Miami Dolphins (4-7; lost to New England 35-17) – Game not as close as score indicated, with offense producing three (3) turnovers while defense breaks out to early 14-0 deficit…Showdown vs Broncos this week will show if Dolphins contenders or pretenders for B-10 medal stand…Next Loss: Denver

7. New York Jets (4-7; lost to Carolina 35-27) – Jets at their best when chips are down, blowing fourth quarter lead though loss not secured till defense allows last-minute field goal…Jets have lost five (5) of six (6), though they must not get caught looking ahead to 12/10 showdown vs Broncos…Next Loss: Kansas City

8. NFL – League so bad in 2017 Browns, 49ers and Giants were only eliminated from playoff contention with clutch losses this weekend…With ratings and youth football participation both declining, NFL owners secretly formed National Lacrosse League steering committee this past week.

9. Indianapolis Colts (3-8; lost to Tennessee 20-16) – Lost in cacophony of Browns/Broncos/Giants axis, steady-as-she-goes Colts have also lost five (5) of six (6)…With wins against Browns and 49ers, Colt fan(s) petition B-10 pollsters claiming strength-of-schedule points should entitle them to higher ranking …Next Loss: at Jacksonville

10. AFC West (19-25) – Long-time AFC division coming into its own in 2017, with second straight coveted, weekly, Pete Rozelle Award, issued to league’s worst division…First place Chiefs sinking like stone with three (3) straight losses while Chargers hottest team in division with two (2) straight wins and are still 5-6.

This Week’s Clash of the Titans: Denver at Miami
This Is Don Criqui Reporting: Cleveland at Los Angeles (A)
Let’s Screw CBS II: Kansas City at New York (A)
Exciting Regional Action: Indianapolis at Jacksonville

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