Notes from around the Human Experience…
MOOCH, WE HARDLY KNEW YOU, WHICH IS A GOOD THING: The fun simply is not stopping at the White House. There was a time when we occasionally sat down to write this feature without much idea what we were going to cover.
Not anymore. In fact, the screed we had planned for today concerning some fight between a boxer and an MMA fighter was eagerly tossed aside for the latest from the White House.
This Town Ain’t Big Enough For The Both Of Us: President Donald Trump – President Donald Trump! – plainly deciding there was only room for one blowhard in his administration, allowed the dismissal his new Communications Director Anthony “The Mooch” Scaramucci Monday after ten days of loud, profane service.
But We Digress: Actually, it is with mixed emotions that we see The Mooch go. Based on his potty-mouthed, expletive-ridden beginning, it was reasonable to believe Scaramucci could be counted on to provide no shortage of material for us halfwit columnists. Which was probably the problem because nobody in the Trump Administration is allowed to produce more material or be louder than the president.
And let’s be honest, The Mooch wasn’t going to do anybody much good, especially new Chief of Staff John Kelly, who requested The Mooch be sent home.
Now Hear This: The usual people are saying the usual things about how some order might now be restored to the White House but don’t kid yourself. Trump is completely in his element here. Total chaos is reigning and since Trump’s greatest skill is drawing attention to himself he embraces chaos like he embraces and feels up women. It’s second nature and chaos will always be the order of the day or, if not center stage, at least off to the side awaiting her cue in the Trump White House.
Uh-Oh: Speaking of Kelly, he is the first former general to be chief of staff to a president since Alexander Haig in the Nixon Administration, and we all know how that ended.
Better Roll Up Your Sleeves, General: Kelly has his work cut out for him. Forget changing President Trump. No one will do that because Trump is too in love with himself to change anything. Kelly is no dummy and he probably won’t try. His challenge will be to change the culture in West Wing from backbiting and infighting to actually doing the president some good, even if the president is fighting and Tweeting you every step of the way.
A Warm, Personal Story: Maybe Kelly can shore things up in the mail room. A few weeks ago, just for funsies, we emailed the White House applying for the Secretary of the Army position, which is still vacant. We were interested in the Secretary of the Navy position, but the Administration had a nominee lined up. While our candidacy could charitably be called a long shot, we are not complete idiots and applied in the spirit of further and continuing service to our country. Last week we received a reply, a letter from the president not thanking us for our interest, but discussing how much good he was going to do our economy.
GOING…GOING…GONE: Mel Ott of the New York Giants hits his 500th career home run on this date in 1945, joining Babe Ruth and Jimmy Foxx as the only players to accomplish the feat.
FunFact(s): This was an era when home runs didn’t grow on trees. Ott would be the last player to join the 500 home run club until Ted Williams in 1960. Ott retired with 511 home runs and would remain in the Top 10 of the career home run list through the 1971 season.
The Post Game Show Is Brought To You By Old Style Beer: The Giants beat the Boston Braves at the Polo Grounds that day 9-2. With the win, they move to 10.5 games behind the Chicago Cubs, who lost to Pittsburgh 1-0.
“I Never Could Quite Make It. These Thoughts Are Too Much For Me.”: Charles Whitman, a 25-year-old psychopath and student at the University of Texas, Austin, kills 15 people on this date in 1966. His own death, the death of an unborn child and the 2001 death of a man who died from injuries sustained in the attack would bring the total death toll to 18.
It’s Good To Get An Early Start: Whitman started just after midnight murdering his mother and wife. His suicide note indicated he did this to spare them the embarrassment that would result from what he planned to do later in the day.
Whitman arrived on campus about 11:30 and killed three people on his way to the observation deck, from which he began firing about 20 minutes later, killing 13 more and injuring 31. Whitman would be shot and killed by Austin police officers after 96 minutes of shooting.
Dry, Technical Matter: An autopsy did show a Whitman had a small brain tumor, though it’s unclear if this led to his mental state.
Quote Book: Where there are so many, all speech becomes a debate without end. But two together may perhaps find wisdom. J.R.R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings
Answer To The Last Trivia Question: Franziska van Almsick, a German swimmer, has won ten Olympic medals without winning a gold medal, the most of any athlete.
Today’s Stumper: Whitman’s massacre at the University of Texas was the deadliest college campus shooting to date. Which college campus massacre replaced it? – Answer next time!