The Daily Dose/Friday, September 13, 2019

The Daily Dose/September 13, 2019
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around our human experience…

PLAY BALL: California – a state that in one election said no to legal week while reelecting Jerry Brown governor – is close to bucking the NCAA and allowing collegiate athletes to make money during the college careers. 

Dry, Technical Matter: The law would allow students at California’s four-year colleges – 58 of whom are members of the NCAA – to hire agents to work deals for them for endorsements, sponsorships, shoe deals or whatever else they can drum up. The bill has passed both the California State Assembly and Senate and is awaiting Gov. Gavin Newsome’s signature. It would not take effect until 2023. 

Get Your Official Daily Dose Policy Right Here: Gov. Newsome should not only sign the bill, he should send copies of it his fellow governors, the mayor of Washington, D.C. and his counterpart in British Columbia, which is also home to an NCAA school, Simon Fraser University. He should urge all of them to have their state/city/province draw up similar legislation immediately if not sooner. 

But Seriously, Folks: Really, the NCAA should get into the comedy racket. This from their letter to California Governor Gavin Newsom urging a veto of the bill: 

NCAA member schools already are working on changing rules for all student-athletes to appropriately use their name, image and likeness in accordance with our values.

Oh, Jesus H: With your values? You’ve got to be kidding. The only value the NCAA has is money: simultaneously acting as pimp, whore and john: prostituting their athletes – and themselves – to strafe everyone – fans, network, sponsors – for every last possible dollar. 

Because bullies accustomed to getting their way threaten, the letter also noted California schools would “eventually” not be allowed to compete for, and probably host, NCAA championships. 

Dry, Technical Matter: What’s funny is allowing college athletes to go and make a few bucks off their efforts would, almost immediately, end the bribery and other sleeze that currently attends major college sports. 

Broad Historical Perspective: Fighting this is not much different than plantation owners of another era objecting to the passage of the Thirteenth Amendment and the NCAA has two options here: they can circle their ivy-walled wagons or they can show some uncharacteristic foresight and set the pace on reforming college sports. Their athletes are making them rich. The athletes should be able to cash in, too. 

Today At The Site
The Diary of a NobodySparrow and The Wife try to replace the handles on the kitchen faucet. Today’s Diary. 

The plumbing place right on the right side as you pull into town was manned by the twelve-year-old who knew squat about plumbing…Then we went to lunch at our fave Mexican joint…Then we went to the retailer out there for some coffee, and a monthly planner for my desk (it’s what I log my sleep hours in) and something else I’ve forgotten…Then we went to hardware store out there and BINGO, we ran into a kid who also happened to be an apprentice plumber…He had some suggestions I presume were helpful tho I don’t know for sure because I didn’t understand them tho The Wife seemed to, so we headed home.

When we got back The Wife tried to unscrew the base of one of the handles and almost tore the whole faucet out…We looked at each other and decided to get someone who knew what they were doing…We didn’t know anybody offhand, so I dispatched myself to the local market, where they have the new hardware store addition, and asked the crew there if they had a recommendation for a handyman. 

It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life.

Click here to read The Diary of a Nobody – all entries, past, present and future – for only $5.99

Click here to read the hilarious first two (2) weeks of The Bottom Ten with our compliments. 

On This Date
 In 1814 – The United States prevents the British from taking Baltimore in the War of 1812. The battle inspired Baltimore attorney Francis Scott Key to write a poem called The Defense of Fort McHenry. Soon after, the words were set to the tune of an old English drinking song, re-titled The Star-Spangled Banner, and, in 1931, was made the national anthem of the United States. The Star-Spangled Banner actually has four verses, though only the first is customarily sung. 

In 1971 – The World Hockey Association (WHA) is announced by Dennis Murphy and Gary Davidson, both of whom had been involved in founding the American Basketball Association. The WHA began play in October, 1972 and the New England Whalers won the first WHA championship. Plagued from the start with financial problems and franchise instability, it ceased operations in 1979, with the Edmonton Oilers, the Whalers, Quebec Nordiques and Winnipeg Jets joining the NHL. 

In 1969 – The Rolling Stones are at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the fifth time with Honky Tonk Woman. The song was in its fourth and final week at #1 and was their 18th Top 40 hit. The song also  went to #1 in five other countries, including Great Britain and Switzerland and was Billboard’s fourth biggest song of the year. The song, with slightly different lyrics and titled Country Tonk, was released on the Stones’ 1969 album Let It Bleed.

Quotebook
…for my greatest skill has been to want but little.
Henry David Thoreau

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
The major league record for most strikeouts in a game is 26, done several times, all in extra inning games, most recently this past August 23, when the New York Mets struck out 26 Atlanta Braves.

Today’s Stumper
Of the four WHA teams that joined the NHL, how many are still in their original city? – Answer next time!

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