The Daily Dose/Sunday, November 10, 2019

The Daily Dose/November 10, 2019
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

The Sunday Bottom 5
The very best of the very worst of the week that was. 

1. Republican Party – Incapable of anything now except rancor and division, is still somehow retaining member’s support and money, despite a president who lies, believes the moon is part of Mars and whose only real talent is drawing attention to himself. 

2. America – Perpetually at war, mindlessly in debt shooting gallery now, internally divided to the point the 60s now seem like something out of Mother Goose, USA not really doing anybody any good anymore…Once a beacon for liberty and capitalism for a world that needed, still needs, one, now just partisan, fractured and bickering mess. 

3. Catholic Church – Despite sexual abuse by its clergy, Catholic Church still consolidating wealth and power by continuing to earn adherents money and time, despite fact it’s entitled to neither…Has little to offer except freedom of fearing death, ancient doctrines stolen from Sumerians, Egyptians, more wee peeks down the slack by priests. 

4. NCAA – Utterly brilliant at whoring out their athletes while simultaneously whoring themselves out to TV networks, has seen to it major college sports is nothing more than cesspool designed to mint dollars for members colleges…Should probably get out of major division sports racket to focus on providing championships for smaller schools, something they actually do very well. 

5. American Electorate – Less than a year away from heralding to selves, rest of world whether they are going to continue to tolerate partisan, fractured, bickering government or not tolerate partisan, fractured, bickering government…Options include defending the indefensible by reelecting status quo or voting to make some changes. 

Editor’s Note: Gaylon is running for the Colorado Libertarian Party’s 2020 US Senate nomination. Click here to visit his campaign’s website. 

Today At The Site
The Diary of a Nobody: It’s a profitable night at the hotel for Sparrow. Today’s Diary. 

I made – made, but did not earn – $114 in gratuities tonite…Right after Q left two drunk kids who are staying next door stumbled in to report on their shabby treatment at the bar…In fairly short order I earned a $12 gratuity simply for listening and being cordial to them, treatment they claim they did not receive at the bar…Then about 20 minutes later I mentioned, for reasons I forget, that I happened to be a veteran…BOOM…The kid pulls a C note out of his wallet!!!…I am not making that up…$100…I try to decline but he insists and I’ve learned over many years of dealing with drunks professionally not to press this matter because the next thing you know you’ve caused offense and their pissed and who knows what happens next…So I graciously accepted it and told them I will donate it to our veteran’s assistance fund.

It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life.

Click here to get in on the laffs: Sparrow, The Bottom Ten, the funniest books you’ve ever read. We offer 4Ever and Ever access, or cheapskates can purchase books and columns individually. 

On This Date
In 1865 – Captain Henry Wirtz of the Confederate army is executed following his conviction on assorted war crimes by the United States government. Wirtz had been commandant of the prisoner-of-war camp near Andersonville, Georgia, a prison notorious for overcrowding, inadequate water and food, as well as other inhumane conditions. Wirtz’s neck did not break after his fall, obliging Wirtz to strangle to death slowly. His clemency plea to President Andrew Johnson had gone unanswered.

In 1990 – The Phoenix Suns establish a new NBA record for most points in a half, scoring 107 in the first half of a 173-143 win over the Denver Nuggets. The mark broke the old record of 90 the Nuggets had established three days earlier and the 173 points tied the record for most points in a non-overtime game established in 1959 by the Boston Celtics. Both records still stand.

In 1984 – Billy Ocean is at #1 in Billboard’s Hot 100 with Carribean Queen (No More Love on the Run). It was Ocean’s second of twelve Top 40 hits and his first of three #1 songs. The song also went to #1 in New Zealand and Canada, peaked at #6 in Great Britain and earlier had spent four weeks at #1 on Billboard’s soul chart and one week atop the dance chart. The song also charted internationally as European Queen and African Queen.

Quotebook
Group Headquarters was alarmed, for there was no telling what people might find out once they felt free to ask whatever questions they wanted to…Clevenger, the corporal and Colonel Korn agreed that is was neither possible nor necessary to educate people who never questioned anything.

Joseph Heller
Catch-22

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Wilt Chamberlain broke Elgin Baylor’s NBA single-game scoring record of 71 when he scored 78 points for the Philadelphia Warriors on Dec. 8, 1961, a 151-147, 3OT loss to the Los Angeles Lakers. Baylor himself scored 63 points in the game and this remains the only time two players have scored more than 60 points in an NBA game. 

Today’s Stumper
In NBA history, 12 games have seen both teams combine for at least 316 points. How many of these games involved the Denver Nuggets? – Answer next time!

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