The Diary of a Nobody – Monday, May 14, 2018

Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Monday, May 14
Proof that I will whine about absolutely anything can be found in my recent weeping over the schedule at the retailer.

Recall last month they had us all resubmit our availability because the home office was changing the scheduling software everyone uses…I was informed that my treasured 1800-2200 (6pm-10pm) shifts would now go until 2230 for reasons which I am sure were explained to me.

I whined about this, of course…I was used to getting off at 2200 and having an hour to kill before reporting for duty at one of the hotels…It was an enjoyable hour…Sometimes I’d go straight to work depending on who was there, but usually, I’d drive along the river and end up on the other side of town…I might stop in at the convenience store there and get a couple of hot dogs, or I might not, and I’d usually get to the hotel at 2240 or so.

The change to a 2230 end time at the retailer gave me a half-hour less to kill which, as it turns, is a lot better than having an hour to kill…I adapted to it immediately…My past couple of shifts at the retailer, however, have ended at 2200, meaning once more I now have to kill an hour before starting at the hotel…I am whining about this, too, despite the fact a 2200 clock out was the preferred state of affairs before this nonsense started.

Still rather slow at the retailer…Slow enough that I spent no small amount of time making minute adjustments to loaves in the bread aisle…I’d walk past and move some a millimeter or two the right, then a few minutes later walk past it again and move it a millimeter or two to the left…What people we did have at the service desk all seemed to come within ten minutes of each other…Good gravy, it was as half the town said: “Hey, let’s go bother Sparrow at the service desk!”…One guy had one of those headlamps that come in really handy while camping…He said he bought it at the retailer in Bum F*ck Egypt and it wasn’t working quite right and could he get another one???

Well, sure, I thought, you can get another one if you want to pay for it…What I told him was without the receipt or the original packaging there wasn’t anything I could do…This happens regularly, too, wizards bringing in used stuff expecting us to exchange it without proof of when and where it was purchased…This guy seemed surprised I would just give him whatever the hell he wanted, but he left without saying anything else.

More lawn watering today…There is no rain in the forecast until what seems to be Labor Day, so I am grabbing the bull by the horns on having a nice lawn this season…I did another stretch on the section that runs parallel to the kitchen, that gets a lot of sun and has no shade and I was up early enough so I was able to toss in a session on the section right out the front door.

I also plan to mow again tomorrow, which regular readers of this crap will recall is less than a week after the last mowing…It needs it because the evil dandelions are growing like, well, weeds…They are already several inches high again, though most of them are merely the stems…Not very many are sporting yellow flowers.

Sparrow’s Sleep Log: 0830 Monday until 1330 Monday…I hope all of you have adjusted to the change to military time…Recall the switch was made when I was approved to shop at the Navy Exchange’s website…To review, the key is to subtract 12 from any time greater than twelve, so the 1330 time used earlier translate to 1:30pm in civilian time.

1330 was two hours before the alarm and I woke up after a dream ended…I don’t remember the dream…I tried to get back to sleep but gave up after a half-hour.

The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence.

The Diary of a Nobody was inspired by the 19th century British novel of the same name.

Read Gaylon’s latest: We The People: Making America America Again at www.GaylonKent.com

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