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The Daily Dose/Thursday, October 18, 2018

The Daily Dose/October 18, 2018
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

In The News
The real damage from Donald Trump’s presidency will not come from his policies or political actions. President Trump is basically harmless, at least in relation to Hitler. We don’t think he’s a particularly good president because he has never had a cogent, long-term vision for our country or his presidency, but he is not evil, merely unable to head a government. As we’ve said many times in the past, Trump’s only real talent is drawing attention to himself, something he does supremely well. 

No, the real damage President Trump is and will be the effect he is having on our national conversation: civility is dead. Trump has made the insult acceptable and that is a tragedy. America is becoming meaner and Americans, collectively, are increasingly intolerant of any view that does not correspond with their own, just like their president.

Trump, of course, has a litany of examples of incivility. Our two favorites are when he called Elizabeth Warren ‘Pocahontas’ and Stormy Daniels ‘horse face’. Now, the Pocahontas comment could actually have been funny in another context, but coming from the president of the United States it was gauche. The horse face comment was just mean, something President Trump is, of course, eminently capable of.

You know, when our country collapses, perhaps before this half-century is out, it will mainly be because of our perpetual wars and fiscal insanity. But incivilities introduction and acceptance into mainstream American life will share part of the blame, too.

Today At The Site
Sparrow reports for the usual pre-employment paperwork at the new hotel on today’s edition of The Diary of a NobodyPlus, he already has several dozen new logins to remember. Then he reports for swing shift at the old hotel.

Friends, when requesting rates please, for the love of all that is sacred, specify an arrival date…Hotel rooms are the classic supply and demand commodity and our rates vary and don’t try to play Gotcha by holding us to a slow season rate in the middle of winter…It won’t work…

The race for The Dan Henning Trophy – symbolic of NFL Bottom Ten supremacy – might be the closest in ages, as there are no less than five (5) one (1)-win teams ranked in The Bottom Ten/NFL Week 8 survey. Tune in for the usual laughs.

6. Cleveland Browns (2-3-1; lost to Los Angeles Chargers 38-14) – B-10 pollster’s bar tabs still working overtime as wizards try to figure out how opening week tie will affect race for B-10 medal stand…Browns quest for B-10 three-peat sputtering, as Browns have not lost consecutive games since entire 2018 season…Next Loss: at Tampa Bay

On This Date
In 1009 – The Church of Holy Sepulchre in Jerusalem is destroyed by a Muslim caliph and his army. The church is believed by some to be the place where Jesus Christ was both crucified and buried, though this is not known for certain. Construction of the church began in 326, completed in 335 and after this demolition would not be rebuilt until 1048.

In 1968 – Bob Beamon of the United States breaks the world record in the long jump at the Mexico City Olympics, jumping 29 feet, 2-and-a-half inches, breaking the previous world record by 21-and-three-quarter inches. Beamon jumped farther than Olympic Stadium’s electronic device could measure and his feat was so dominating – and demoralizing – he beat runner-up Klaus Beer of West Germany by more than two feet. Beamon’s world record stood until 1991 and 29 feet, 2-and-a-half inches remains the Olympic record.

In 1975 – Bad Blood by Neil Sedaka is #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the second of three consecutive weeks. It was the second and final #1 hit of Sedaka’s career, following 1974’s Laughter in the Rain. The song also went to #1 in Canada and was the second biggest hit in Canada for the year.

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
The first non-British player to win the British Open was France’s Arnaud Massy in 1907.

Today’s Stumper
Whose world record did Bob Beamon break? – Answer next time!

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The Bottom Ten/NFL Week 8

 

The Bottom Ten/NFL Week 8
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

With one-third of the league having two (2) or fewer wins so far in 2018 Bottom Ten fan(s) everywhere – well, most places, at least – are bracing for what may well be the tightest race for The Dan Henning Trophy in years.

And veteran Bottom Ten watcher(s) know you count out two (2)-win Denver at your peril and if you don’t think two-time defending champion Cleveland’s experience won’t serve them well you are are deluding yourself.

This week’s fiasco, as the nags stumble through the clubhouse turn.  

1. San Francisco 49ers (1-5; lost to Green Bay 33-30) – 49ers show mettle that leads straight to B-10 medal stand, giving up ten (10) points in last two (2) minutes…Three (3) turnovers, including interception on final “drive”, lead to nine (9) Green Bay points…Next Loss: Los Angeles (N)

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The Diary of a Nobody/October 17

Read Free Fortnight continues!

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Wednesday, October 17
I went in to see Candace at the new hotel today to for a tour and to fill out the paperwork attendant with starting a new job. It’s a fair size hotel, 117 rooms plus an attached restaurant, Rex’s, which is pretty good…Between an email account and assorted company programs I already have 793 usernames and passwords…We weren’t able to set a date to start training because I am pretty booked workplace-wise for the next few days, but it will work itself out.

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The Daily Dose/October 17, 2018

The Daily Dose/October 17, 2018
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

In The News
This whole imbroglio involving Senator Elizabeth Warren’s Indian heritage is silly. Good gravy, who really cares if you are .00004386 percent Indian? I don’t. The Indians don’t and, in fact, seem to resent it and we wouldn’t die of shock if Warren didn’t particularly care, either.

For Warren to trot this out is offensive to Indians and insulting to us. You can’t claim a cultural heritage, particularly American Indian, if you are not an active participant in the culture. And Warren isn’t. She is unable to provide an ancestor who was on a tribal roll, criteria many Indian tribes use to determine ancestry, and, of course, she is not a member of a tribe herself. 

We have personal experience in this matter: half our blood is Mexican (the rest is English and German) and while we do enjoy the occasional chorizo burrito we don’t identify as a Mexican-American – or a European-American, for that matter – because we are American. We’ve long felt that hyphenating our American experience is insulting and degrading to those obliged to do so.

As we say from time to time here, and often on the campaign trail, we get the government we elect. We deserve better than senators pandering like this, but we are not going to receive better until we demand at the ballot box.

Editor’s Note: Gaylon is the Libertarian Party’s nominee for Congress from Colorado’s 3rd District. Click here to visit the Gaylon For Congress Facebook page. 

Today at the Site
Sparrow talks to a voter who called him on the phone on today’s edition of The Diary of a Nobody, plus it is a very slow night at the retailer.

evidently they were slammed during the day because there were a lot of returns that had to go back and Deya took care of those because Deya doesn’t like standing around doing nothing and that, of course, is my only real talent.

The Thought for the Day will return and The Bottom Ten/NFL Week 8 will move tomorrow.

On This Date
In 1346 – The English defeat the Scots at the Battle of Neville’s Cross in northeast England during the Second War of Scottish Independence. Scottish King David II was taken prisoner and would be held by the English for eleven years, before Scottish nobles and parliament decided to ransom him. David II would reign until his death in 1371.

In 1860 – The first Open Championship, what we here in the colonies know as the British Open, is played at Prestwick in Scotland. Eight professionals played three rounds on the twelve hole course, with Willie Park, Sr of Scotland holing a 30-foot putt on the 36th hole to win by two strokes over Tom Morris, Sr. Park would win the Open Championship three more times, in   1863, 1866 and 1875. Prestwick hosted the first eleven Opens and 24 overall, the last in 1925.

In 1964 – Do Wah Diddy Diddy by Manfred Mann is #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the first of two weeks. The song also went to #1 in their native Great Britain as well as Sweden and Canada. It was their only #1 in the US, though the group had two other #1 songs in Britain. In 1976 Manfred Mann’s Earth Band hit #1 with Blinded by the Light. 

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Martin Bormann and Hermann Goring were the two Nazis convicted at the Nuremberg trials but not executed with the other ten. Bormann had been convicted in absentia and was actually already dead, and Goring had committed suicide a couple of hours before the executions commenced.

Today’s Stumper
Who was the first non-British player to win the British Open? – Answer next time!

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The Diary of a Nobody/October 16

Read Free Fortnight continues!

Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Tuesday, October 16
Had a voicemail from a voter here in town when I woke up this afternoon…His name is Frank and when I called him back his wife answered and said he had just walked out to get the mail, which means they either live near the post office because there isn’t home delivery here in town, or he lives out on the cog as we say here, outside of town on an old county road, which turns out to be the case.

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The Daily Dose/Tuesday, October 16, 2018

The Daily Dose/October 16, 2018
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

In The News
Friends, in a blatant attempt to get you in the habit of reading this crap on a daily basis, we are pleased to announce Read Free Week has been extended into Read Free Fortnight.

We are not making that up.

This means you get another two (2) weeks of the content we usually charge for – The Diary of a Nobody, The Bottom Ten and our books – at no charge.

And the special subscription rate of $29.99 for the rest of your life is still being offered, too. This is less than both our usual yearly rate ($49.99) and lifetime rate ($99.00). It’s a small price to pay to keep the bunny we’ve kidnapped alive.

Today at the Site
A newspaper in Sparrow’s Congressional district runs the wrong Op-Ed piece, running one they ran in the spring instead of the one he submitted a couple of weeks ago on today’s edition of The Diary of a Nobody. Also, Sparrow wonders why hunters wear bright orange vests when they go hunting dressed like shrubbery.

They said they had an hour drive and another 90-minute walk before they could set up shop, which seemed like a lot of work to me because I wouldn’t drive an hour and then walk another hour-and-a-half to shoot Big Foot, but I am not a hunter.

Hut, hut hike, the race for the ESPNCup, issued to the collegiate Bottom Ten champion, hits high gear on The Bottom Ten/NCAA Week 8. With defending champion UTEP taking the week off, Nebraska is ranked #1 for the first time. Go Big Red!

Game not as close as score indicated, as [Kent State] Golden Flashes punt, miss field goals or turn ball over in first eleven (11) possessions before scoring touchdown on final drive against assorted Miami PE majors earning Practical Experience credits. 

The Thought for the Day will return.

On This Date
In 1946 – Ten of the twelve Nazis convicted at the main Nuremberg Trials are executed by the US Army in a gymnasium adjacent to the prison they were being held. The executions were not the most technically precise in history as the trap door was too small, resulting in several Nazis banging their heads and the drop was too short, resulting in some strangling to death instead of having their neck broken. From the first to the last, the executions took one hour and 34 minutes.

In 1968 – After winning the gold and bronze medals in the 200-meters, Americans Tommie Smith and John Carlos raise their fists while The Star-Spangled Banner is played during the medal ceremony at the Mexico City Olympics. For their efforts at drawing attention to racial inequality, Smith and Carlos were kicked out of the Games. Silver medalist Peter Norman of Australia protested, too, wearing an Olympic Project For Human Rights patch on his sweatsuit jacket. He was criticized in Australia and was not selected for the 1972 Olympics despite having a qualifying 200-meter time. When Norman died in 2006, Smith and Carlos were pallbearers at his funeral.

In 1965 – Yesterday by the Beatles is #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the second of four weeks. It was the fifth #1 of the year for the Beatles, the second-most ever in a calendar year, trailing only the six #1 songs they had in 1964. Yesterday also went to #1 in Sweden Norway, the Netherlands and Belgium, but wasn’t released a single in Great Britain until 1976, when it peaked at #8.  

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
The double-sided hit that spent eleven weeks at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 was Hound Dog/Don’t Be Cruel by Elvis Presley in 1956.

Today’s Stumper
Who were the two Nazis who were convicted at the Nuremberg trials who were not executed with the others? – Answer next time!

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The Bottom Ten/NCAA Week 8

Read Free Week Fortnight continues!

The Bottom Ten/NCAA Week 8
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

All hail Earlham! Go Big Red!

As Division III Earlham enters the history books, Nebraska takes advantage of UTEP’s bye week to snag – after only 1,319 games – their first ever #1 Bottom Ten ranking as the race for the ESPNCup – symbolic of Bottom Ten supremacy – rolls on.

Elsewhere, the MAC also takes advantage of UTEP’s bye week, snagging Conference of the Week honors away from Conference USA.

Also, Bottom Ten pollsters would like to acknowledge the passing of real Hall of Fame coach John Gagliardi, who won four small school national titles at St John’s in Minnesota and 489 games, more than any other college football coach. Look up college football coach in the dictionary and you’ll find Gagliardi’s picture.

Now, on with the countdown. This week’s mess:

1. Nebraska (0-6; lost to Northwestern 34-31 OT))
Mitigating Factors: With UTEP resting up for stretch run, Huskers allowed to give B-10 throne test drive…Huskers show heart that leads straight to B-10 glory, blowing two (2) leads, giving up game-tying touchdown pass with 12 seconds remaining in game…Three (3) turnovers, including clutch overtime interception, lead to ten (10) Northwestern points.
GBR: Novitiate Huskers still getting B-10 sea legs, with B-10 pollsters “pretty sure” current ten (10)-game skid worst ever for team occupying B-10 top spot.
Next Loss: Minnesota

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The Diary of a Nobody/October 15

Read Free Week Fortnight continues!

Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Monday, October 15
A couple-three weeks ago I sent Op-Ed pieces to newspapers in our Congressional district, some drivel about how our country deserves better than perpetual war…Well, one paper ran something from me, but someone goofed up and they ran a piece they had run in the spring back when Sparrow For Congress had delusions about hosting a national conversation on gun control.

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The Daily Dose/Monday, October 15, 2018

The Daily Dose/October 15, 2018
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

In The News
Here’s the latest on missing Saudi journalist Jamal Khashoggi:

  • He is still missing and there is no reason to think he is alive.
  • Turkey suspects Saudi agents killed and dismembered Khashoggi after he entered the Saudi consulate on Oct. 2 and has released surveillance video from around the area showing suspicious people and activities. Turkey claims to have audio coverage of Khashoggi’s death, but they haven’t produced it yet.
  • The United States, of course, knows a good international incident when it sees one – even if we didn’t create it – and is butting its nose in, sending investigators over even though we generally do not have jurisdiction in Turkey. President Trump, in what is not the Upset of the Year, is acting like someone whose only skill is drawing attention to himself.
  • The Saudis still deny having anything to do with this and even referred to the 15-man squad seen outside the consulate as ‘tourists’. They say claims they had something to do with this are “baseless”.

I remember when President Clinton would address one of his many allegations and say this accusation was this and this allegation was that but he would never say whether they were true or false? We thought about this, too, during the Kavanaugh hearing when Mr Kavanauh ranted and raved during his opening statement when all he had to do was say “The allegations are false, I will now entertain your questions”.

Same here. The Saudis are able to say they are baseless – a claim holding less and less water – but they have yet to say they are false.

As we noted last week, journalists being killed should interest all of us even if they are being killed somewhere else because a free press is a fundamental tenet of a free society and while the government is not likely to start telling your local paper what days it can publish, we must be vigilant.

Today at the Site
Sparrow has more biscuits and gravy issues at the hotel on today’s edition of The Diary of a Nobody, plus he has a very funny incident at the retailer and the Sleep Log is back!

Well, both openers were on their last legs and I was only able to open portions of the lid and campers, you gotta be careful here because this is not life and death, it’s a lousy complimentary hotel breakfast and I am not going to slice a finger off by pulling the lid back with my hands…

The Thought for the Day is a repeat from September of last year, from Alfred, Lord Tennyson, with some thoughts on striving and finding.

To strive and to seek and to find require courage. And it doesn’t matter what the endeavor is, either. Scott and his men had supreme courage in reaching the South Pole and to face their ensuing deaths, but great courage is not reserved for great explorers.

On This Date
In 2003 – China becomes the third nation to send a man into space when Shenzhou 5 is launched. The single man mission is commanded by Lt Col Yang Liwei of the Chinese Army. Liwei would orbit the earth 14 times and would return safely to Earth – though Liwei did suffer a cut lip due to the hard landing – after 21 hours and 22 minutes. Since this flight, China has had five other manned spaceflights, its most recent in 2016. The other two nations to send man into space are the Soviet Union/Russia and the United States.

In 1988 – Trailing 4-3 in the bottom of the ninth inning, the Los Angeles Dodgers defeat the Oakland A’s in Game 1 of the World Series 5-4 when Kirk Gibson hits a game-winning two-run pinch-hit home run off Dennis Eckersley. It would be Gibson’s only appearance in the series, which the Dodgers would win in four games and it remains their last World Series win.

In 1977 – Debby Boone is at #1 for the first of ten consecutive weeks on Billboard’s Hot 100 with You Light Up My Life. At the time, it was the first song to spend ten weeks at #1 on the Hot 100 – though the feat had been equaled and topped on earlier Billboard charts – and it was the biggest song of the 1970s. However, due to when it charted in 1977 it was only the 51st biggest hit of 1977 and the third biggest of 1978. Though Boone would have some country hits, including the 1980 #1 Are You On The Road To Lovin’ Me Again, You Light Up My Life remains her only Top 40 hit.

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
The New England Patriots have the NFL’s longest winning streak, 21 games, from October 5, 2003, through October 24, 2004. The streak ended the following week, 34-20, to Pittsburgh.

Today’s Stumper
While You Light Up My Life, was the first song to spend ten weeks at #1 on the Hot 100, a double-sided hit did spent eleven weeks at the top. Name it? – Answer next time!

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The Diary of a Nobody/October 14

Read Free Week continues!

Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Sunday, October 14
We still cannot pull biscuits and gravy off at the hotel without a problem…Recall two weeks ago I couldn’t find the crock pot, obliging me to pull a solution out of my arse, and last week the biscuits were spoiled, obliging me to defrost some at the last minute.

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