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Sort of like prostitution, we are charging for some things now after giving them away, a subscription now being required to read most of our columns and all of our books.

All subscriptions include the same access, columns, books and archives, the only difference being the length you sign up for. We are currently offering two (2) options:

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Yearly: $49.99- two months free! We are not making that up!

Click here to sign up. All plans have a three-day complimentary trial period and you will be emailed before your subscription renews, but you don’t have to do anything, it will renew automatically.

Thank you for reading. I know you’ll enjoy the new site.

Cordially,
Gaylon
America’s Funniest Guy

 

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Daily Report – Wednesday, July 18

Sparrow suspects the robins of stealing his favorite sprinkler on today’s edition of The Diary of a Nobody. Also, he fries up the unlabeled sausage he found in the freezer earlier this week and based on the way it cooks up and tastes he suspects it is mountain lion.

Will Durant has The Thought for the Day, a quote from The Story of Civilization: The Reformation, a volume we read last year. It wasn’t easy. Durant asks a lot out of his readers, but the rewards are there, and today’s Thought concerns how a person really never dies if he or she leaves behind something of value to society.

I am pleased to report that the first round of rewrites on my upcoming novel Criminals, Courtesans and Constables is complete. It took long enough, far longer that past initial rewrites thank to a variety of other projects I had going on that took precedence.

The work, however, is just beginning. I noticed some inconsistencies that will have to be reconciled. (Not all of them, however. Some of my favorite novels have them, and some will be left in just for funsies.) Also, there is a character I added to the story rather late whose role will have to be drawn out and expanded.

But that is work for another time. I customarily put a book away for a few weeks, even a couple-three months, before starting in on the remaining rounds of rewrites. I have found the fresh eyes are very helpful.

On This Date:
In 1914 – United States Senator Ted Kennedy crashes his car into a tidal basin at Chappaquiddick Island, killing his passenger Mary Jo Kopechne. Kennedy immediately left the scene and did not report the accident for ten hours, just before Kopechne’s body was found. Kennedy received a two-month suspended for leaving the scene of an accident. The incident damaged Kennedy to the extent he was never able to run for president, though it did not prevent continued reelection to the Senate.

In 1891 – In a Red River Valley League game, the Fargo Red Stockings and the Grand Forks Black Stockings play 0-0, 25 inning game in the second game of a doubleheader. The umpire only called the game at 8:10pm so players could catch a train and the Black Stockings folded a couple of days later so the game was never completed. It remains the longest 0-0 game in professional baseball history.

In 1921 – Babe Ruth of the New York Yankees becomes baseball’s all-time home run leader, hitting career home run number 139 in Detroit, breaking the record previously held by Roger Connor. Ruth’s would retire with 714 home runs and his record would stand until broken by Henry Aaron in 1974.

In 1960 – Brenda Lee, 15, has the number one song on the Billboard Hot 100, with I’m Sorry. At the time, Lee was the youngest person to have a #1 song, a record that was broken in 1963 by Little Peggy March and then Little Stevie Wonder and is now held by Michael Jackson. I’m Sorry also became a staple on country radio stations, even though it was never released as a country single and Lee is the only woman inducted to both the Rock and Roll and Country Music halls of fame.

Thank you for reading, please consider a subscription, and have a great day.
Gaylon

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The Thought for the Day – Will Durant

The individual succumbs, but he does not die if he has left something to mankind. – Will Durant, The Story of Civilization: The Reformation


Will Durant (1885-1981), a regular contributor to this feature, was an American writer, historian and teacher. As a writer of both philosophy and history he did a brilliant job of doing what you pay us writers to do: provide insights into how and why us humans have and still continue to behave.
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The Diary of a Nobody – Tue 7/17,2018

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Daily Report – Tuesday, July 17, 2018

Sparrow really ratchets up the whining – even for him – on today’s edition of The Diary of a Nobody, complaining today that his reduced workload at the hotel no longer coincides with the length of the podcast he listens to while plying his night’s work. Also, the latest on which flowers are flourishing in the gardens, plus a video chat with Sparrow For Congress’ social media director.

John Kennedy Toole, from his funny book A Confederacy of Dunces, has The Thought for the Day. The quote talks about how Fortuna has been unkind to the protagonist and, in our usual witless commentary, we talk about how Fortuna’s low jokes can sometimes, usually, be turned to advantage. We recall this book being really funny and really good and why we haven’t reread it over the years is not immediately clear.

Rewrites on our upcoming novel Criminals, Courtesans and Constables have been, frankly, sporadic. We are plugging away on them.

On This Date:
In 1955 – Disneyland opens in Anaheim, California for the media, invited guests and a live TV audience. It would open to the public the following day, tho Disneyland celebrates its birthday on July 17.  Not everything went well. Workers were still working on the finishing touches and the TV broadcast was rife with miscues. Disneyland recovered though and remains the most visited amusement park in history, having entertained over 708 million guests over the years.

In 1914 – The New York Giants defeat the Pittsburgh Pirates 3-1 in 21 innings. Both starting pitchers, Rube Marquard of the Giants and Babe Adams of the Pirates pitched complete games with neither issuing a walk and the game remains the longest in major league history without a walk.

In 1965 – The Rolling Stones top the Billboard Hot 100 for the second week with (I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction. The song would remain at #1 for a third week and would be Billboard’s third biggest song of 1965. It was their first of eight #1 songs in America and their fourth in Great Britain.

Many thanks for reading,
Gaylon

 

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The Thought for the Day – John Kennedy Toole

Oh, what low joke was Fortuna playing on him now? Arrest, accident, job! Where would this dreadful cycle ever end? – John Kennedy Toole,  A Confederacy of Dunces


John Kennedy Toole (1937-1969) was an American writer and professor. A troubled man, O’Toole took his own life and A Confederacy of Dunces, rejected by publishers during his lifetime, was not published until 1981. This was largely due to the efforts of his mother and the book was awarded the Pulitzer Prize for Fiction that year. The main character, rather memorable, is Ignatius J Reilly who actually endured an arrest, an accident and, frightfully enough, employment. We recall the book being very funny.
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The Diary of a Nobody – July 16, 2018

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Daily Report – Monday, July 16, 2018

Sparrow whines like a child – hardly a bulletin – on today’s edition of The Diary of a Nobody when people try to take advantage of the hotel’s complimentary breakfast a half-hour early. Also, he details his most recent grocery store purchase, plus has the latest from the robin’s nest.

Today’s Thought for the Day is from British espionage writer David Cromwell, better known as John le Carre. It’s from his novel The Secret Pilgrim, whose main character is known only as Ned and Ned is expressing admiration for a man who is paying every sacrifice to lead the life he was meant to lead, who has found that one worthwhile object that makes a life worth living.

On This Date:
In 1935 – The first parking meter is installed in Oklahoma City. Then known as the Park-O-Meter, parking cost five cents, about 92 cents in today’s dollars, for one hour. While merchants liked it because it kept customers going in out of their stores, drivers didn’t like it, though that did not stop the Park-O-Meter from flourishing.

1950 – Uraguay wins its second World Cup title, defeating Brazil 3-2 at Maracana Stadium in Rio de Janeiro. The attendance of 199,854, remains the largest crowd ever to see a sporting event that was not an auto race.

In 1977 – Shaun Cassidy is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 1oo for the only time with Da Doo Ron Ron. Cassidy’s teen idol popularity faded after that, and while he produced two other Top 10 hits, he was off the charts entirely the following year. Cassidy then established himself as an actor and since the mid-90’s Cassidy has made his living producing and writing television shows.

Many thanks for reading, please consider a subscription and have a good day.
Gaylon

 

 

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The Thought for the Day – John le Carre

I had found what I was looking for – a man like myself, but one who in his search for meaning had discovered a worthwhile object for his life; who had paid every price and not counted it a sacrifice; who was paying it still and would pay it till he died; who cared nothing for compromise, nothing for his pride, nothing for ourselves or the opinion of others; who had reduced his life to the one thing that mattered to him, and was free. – John LeCarre, The Secret Pilgrim


John le Carre is the pen name of British writer David Cromwell, a former British spy who, not surprisingly, writes espionage novels. It’s been many years since we’ve read The Secret Pilgrim (judging by its place in our quotebook, it had to have been around 1990 or so) but we did note the quote was uttered by a character named Ned, though we neglected to note whom Ned was talking about. The worthwhile object for his life was the man’s daughter, whom he had fathered when he was in Vietnam if we recall correctly, and this man spent his time ensuring his daughter was safe, not always easy for a girl in that part of the world at that time.
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The Diary of a Nobody – Sun 7/15/2018

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Daily Report – Sunday, July 15, 2018

If it’s Sunday, and it is, The Sunday Bottom Ten is on tap. This feature, now almost six months old of all things, continues to be a pleasure to write, and we find ourselves thinking about it constantly and we trust you are enjoying it, too. This week President Trump’s legacy, Dragnet the American Media and the Los Angeles LeBrons are all ranked, and it’s a slow week for US drone strikes overseas.

Today on The Diary of a Nobody, Sparrow details his current coffee situation, plus the latest on what he is putting in his hair plus, in other hygiene/grooming notes, he discusses the return of his gray fingernails.

The Thought for the Day will return.

On This Date:
In 1838 – Ralph Waldo Emerson delivers what History refers to as the Divinity School Address to the graduating class of Harvard Divinity School. An ex-minister, Emerson stated that following one’s moral intuition is better than following religious doctrine and it is not required to believe in the miracles of Jesus. It was a very radical speech for the time, with Emerson surprised at the almost universal negative response it received.

In 1876 – George Bradley of the St Louis Brown Stockings throws the first no-hitter in major league history, defeating the Hartford Dark Blues 2-0. Bradley would lead the National League in shutouts (16) and ERA (1.23) in 1876, and would post a 171-151 record in nine major league seasons. Both the Brown Stockings and the Dark Blues left the National League after the 1877 season.

In 1950 – Mona Lisa by Nat King Cole is #1 on the Billboard Best Sellers in Stores chart for the first of five weeks. The song was written by the songwriting team of Ray Evans and Jay Livingston for the movie Captain Carey, USA and won the Academy Award for Best Original Song in 1950.

Have a good day, and many thanks for reading,
Gaylon

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