The Drivel You Need. The Name You Trust.

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The Daily Dose/Thursday, August 18, 2022

The Daily Dose/August 18, 2022
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience. 

Editor’s Note: This column originally ran two years ago today. We do not like to re-hash columns, but the event is noteworthy and the column says exactly what we want to say. It has been updated for historical accuracy.

OLD TIMES THERE ARE NOT FORGOTTEN: Today marks the 59th anniversary of James Meredith becoming the first Black man to graduate from the University of Mississippi. He graduated with a degree in political science and a year earlier he had become the first Black to attend Ole Miss. He had previously attended Jackson State University and, now 89, still lives in Jackson. 

Quote That Sucker: In an interview years later, Meredith talked about civil rights

Nothing could be more insulting to me than the concept of civil rights. It means perpetual second-class citizenship for me and my kind.

Why this quote hasn’t become a fundamental part of the equality struggle in this country is beyond us. It’s not going to anytime soon, either. Short of slavery being restored, it’s hard to imagine the races getting along worse than they do now because America is as much a partisan, fractured, and bickering mess as it’s ever been. Today how one identifies themselves is as important as ever. 

USA! USA!: Meredith is right, of course: the concept of civil rights does guarantee second-class citizenship for those obliged to seek them. It also guarantees second-class citizenship to those whose self-importance is such that they think they’re in a position to bestow them. A nation conceived in liberty cannot pick and choose who gets which liberty or civil right. Either all of us have them or none of us do. Either all of us are free or none of us are free. We cannot grant all liberties and rights to some citizens while only granting some liberties and rights to others. A country with second-class citizens is a second-rate nation. 

The Bottom Line: Making anyone who isn’t a straight, white, male fight for rights straight, white, males take for granted demeans everyone. Mr Meredith is right. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow is obliged to draw a pineapple. Today’s Diary. 

…unless you are completely unable to draw, like ol’ Sparrow is…Or is not…Whichever indicates a complete inability to draw, with Fran saying my pineapple looked like a cross between a Christmas tree and a rabbit…

———

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On This Date
Extra, extra, read all about it.  

In 1868 – Helium is discovered by French astronomer Pierre Jannsen while observing a solar eclipse with a spectroscope in India. In October English astronomer Joseph Lockyer made a similar discovery and is also credited with the element’s discovery and the technical details of the discovery are, thankfully, beyond the scope of this item. Helium was first similarly discovered on Earth in 1881 following an eruption of Mt Vesuvius but was not isolated and observed until 1895. Helium is produced by the radioactive decay of assorted elements. 

In 1983 – What History refers to as the Pine Tar Game concludes with the Kansas City Royals defeating the New York Yankees 5-4. The game had started on July 24 and was thought to have ended when George Brett of the Royals was called out following a two-run home run for having excessive pine tar on his bat, the last out in a 4-3 Yankee win. The Royals protested and American League president Lee McPhail upheld the protest and the game concluded with the Royals winning. The bat Brett used is on display at the Baseball Hall of Fame. 

In 1979 – Chic is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the only week with Good Times. It was the fifth of eleven chart singles for the group, their fourth and final Top 10 hit, and their second and final #1 song (Le Freak, six weeks, 1978-79). The song also peaked at #5 in Great Britain, was in its fourth of six weeks at #1 on Billboard’s soul chart, and was Billboard’s #1 soul song of the year. The song was written and produced by Chic members Bernard Edwards and Nile Rogers. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.

…and like all great men and a good many not so great, he had no modesty.
Gore Vidal
Lincoln

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

The only Olympian to win medals in three different sports is Frank Kugler of the US, who won medals in tug-of-war, wrestling, and weightlifting at the 1904 St Louis Summer Games. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

Who was the plate umpire that called George Brett out for having too much pine tar on his bat? – Answer next time!

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The Diary of a Nobody/August 17

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The Daily Dose/Wednesday, August 17, 2022

The Daily Dose/August 17, 2022
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience. 

 

Leading Off will return.

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow enjoys a guest’s funny line. Today’s Diary. 

Then she read the sign on the front desk that advised guests some alarm testing would be going on later today and she got off a funny noting that she certainly hoped the tests weren’t scheduled for four in the morning…I wanted to slap her and tell her that ol’ Sparrow was the Comedian in Residence here, but a good line is a good line and it got the chuckle it deserved. 

———

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On This Date
Extra, extra, read all about it.  

In 1807 – The first commercial steamship service begins when the North River Steamboat embarks from New York City to Albany. The ship had been built by Robert Livingstone and Robert Fulton and the trip took 32 hours, not including stops. Regular commercial service would begin in September and the route quickly turned a profit and a second steamer was commissioned two years later. The service ended in 1948. 

In 2008 – Rebecca Romero of Great Britain becomes the fifth woman to win medals in separate sports at the Summer Olympics when she wins the individual pursuit gold medal at the Beijing Games. At the 2004 Athens Summer Games, Romero had won a silver medal in the quadruple skulls rowing, a team event. Previously, Americans Aileen Riggin, Helen Wainwright, and Katherine Rawls had won medals in swimming and diving, and from 1968-80 East German Roswitha Krause had won swimming and team handball medals. 

In 1959 – Stonewall Jackson is at #1 on Billboard’s country chart – then known as the Hot Country Sides chart – for the fourth of five consecutive weeks with Waterloo. It was the second of eleven Top 10 country hits for Jackson and his first of two #1s in a chart career that spanned from 1958-73. The song also peaked at #4 on the Hot 100 and remains Jackson’s only Top 40 pop hit. Jackson was the first artist to become a member of the Grand Ole Opry (1956) before signing a recording contract (1958). 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.

The programs will neither be very interesting nor very good.
BBC Announcer
Signing on of BBC World Service
12/19/32

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

Billboard’s #1 song of 1980 was Blondie’s Call Me, which spent six weeks at #1.  

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

Who is the only Olympian to win medals in three sports? – Answer next time!

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The Diary of a Nobody/August 16

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The Daily Dose/Tuesday, August 16, 2022

The Daily Dose/August 16, 2022
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience. 

HUT, HUT, HIKE: Another manifestation that America is too violent for its own good – as if another one is needed – is the way sports officials in this country have been treated for well over a decade now. As a result, officials are leaving in droves with anywhere from two-thirds and three-quarters of new officials not making it to Year 3. It’s to the point now where high school and youth teams are having to rearrange schedules or cancel games altogether because of the shortage.

Whoops, Our Bad: We were going to say it was only a matter of time – what with America a shooting gallery now and all – before somebody got shot, but it turns out we’re too late for that. This past weekend a youth football coach in Lancaster, Texas was shot and killed after coaches and parents started arguing about an official’s call in the vital youth football game. And this wasn’t the first, either, merely the latest one. 

Dry, Technical, Matter: We’re long-time, mostly retired sports officials here and have been chased off the field a couple of times and not so people could hoist us on the shoulders in triumph. We’ve been yelled at and threatened and we’ve had enough and we’ve concluded it’s time for all other officials to say they’ve had enough, too. 

Oh Jesus H: It wasn’t like this in the old days. Sure, you got yelled at but it was only after what in the trade are known as bangers, the really close ones, and even then it died down after a bit. Now, you’re being told you suck every five minutes and, for the past ten years or so, it’s been personal. You can hear it in the malcontent’s voices; it’s as if we’re stealing something from them. 

The Bottom Line: America is a mean, violent shooting gallery now, so this problem is not going away anytime soon. So it’s time for us sports officials to go away. It’s time for us to stop signing up and going to meetings and accepting games. It’s time for leagues and teams to know there won’t be officials at their games. And don’t ask us to serve on any focus groups or committees, either. This is your problem and when game administrators can provide an environment where our personal safety is no longer an issue, when we don’t have to bring our phones out in case we have to call 9-1-1, we’ll be back. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow’s knife gets solid usage at the hotel. Today’s Diary. 

Regular readers of this crap know opening two boxes of coffee is a first the knife, and, of course, it was clutch, handling both opening the new boxes and breaking down the old ones with aplomb. 

———

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On This Date
Extra, extra, read all about it.  

In 1812 – British and Indian forces take Detroit without a battle in the War of 1812 with US forces commanded by Brig Gen William Hull surrendering thanks to a bluff by British commander Maj Gen Isaac Brock, who led Hull to believe he had more troops than he really did. Hull would later be convicted of cowardice and neglect of duty and was sentenced to death, a sentence later commuted to discharge from the Army by President James Madison, in deference to Hull’s service in the Revolution. 

In 1947 – The Pittsburgh Pirates and the St Louis Cardinals establish a new major league record for most home runs in a game by both teams and Ralph Kiner of the Pirates ties the major league record for most home runs in consecutive games in a 12-7 Pirates win. The teams combined for ten home runs, research into whose record they broke was inconclusive, and the mark is now 13, by Arizona and Philadelphia in 2019. Kiner hit three home runs, giving him five in consecutive games, tying the mark that had been done three times previously and many times since. 

In 1980 – Olivia Newton-John is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the third of four consecutive weeks with Magic. It was the 17th of 28 Top 40 hits for Olivia, her tenth of 15 Top 10 songs, and her third of four #1s. The song also went to #1 in Canada, peaked at #32 in Great Britain, and was Billboard’s third-biggest song of the year. The song was from the soundtrack the movie Xanadu, which produced four other chart singles. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.

His mind was made up once and for all upon hundreds of subjects and maybe this was the sign that he had completed his course.
Saul Bellow
Ravelstein

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

Women last ran the 80-meter hurdle race at the Olympics at Mexico City in 1968. In 1972 the 100-meter hurdles were added and women first ran the 400 meter hurdles in 1984. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

What was Billbord’s #1 song of 1980? – Answer next time!

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The Diary of a Nobody/August 15

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The Daily Dose/Monday, August 15, 2022

The Daily Dose/August 15, 2022
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience. 

Leading Off will return. Promise.

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody – Hardly for the first time, Sparrow declines to get involved with a bear. Today’s Diary. 

The lesson here – outside of nite auditors being ‘fraidy cats – is not to keep food in your vehicle because bears aren’t looking for CDs or cosmetics; they’re looking for food…

———

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It’s easy reading on any device. 

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On This Date
Extra, extra, read all about it.  

In 1096 – The first of what History refers to as the Crusades begins when crusaders from Europe leave to free the Holy Land from Muslim rule. The crusade had been inspired by a November 1095 speech by Pope Urban II and the crusaders reached and retook Jerusalem in 1099, though Urban died before word could reach him. In addition to Jerusalem, the First Crusade yielded three other states in the Holy Land and the Crusades would continue until 1291. 

In 1948 – Babe Zaharias wins the US Women’s Open golf tournament, shooting a final round 78 to beat Betty Hicks by eight strokes at the Atlantic City Country Club in New Jersey. It was the first of three US Open titles for Zaharis and her fifth of ten major titles in an era when the Western Open and Titleholders Championship were also majors. At the 1932 Los Angeles Summer Olympics, as Babe Didrikson, she won gold medals in the 80-meter hurdles and the javelin, and a silver medal in the high jump and remains the only Olympian to win running, throwing, and jumping medals.  

In 1960 – Hank Locklin is at #1 on Billboard’s country chart – then known as the Hot Country Sides chart – for the 14th and final consecutive week with Please Help Me, I’m Falling. It was the seventh of 28 country hits for Locklin and his second and final #1. The song also peaked at #8 on the Hot 100 and at #9 in Great Britain. It was the third of five #1 songs on the country chart that year, the smallest number of #1s until 2018, when there were three. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.

Where was all this infinitesimal matter before it was set in motion by mind?/Everywhere./No real answer./Perhaps no real question.
Gore Vidal
Creation

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

There were roughly 69.8 million Social Security recipients in 2020. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

When was the last time the 80-meter hurdles were run at the Olympics? – Answer next time!

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The Diary of a Nobody/August 14

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The Daily Dose/Sunday, August 14, 2022

The Daily Dose/August 14, 2022
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™

The Sunday Bottom 5
A ranking of some things.

Today, your Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters get out the SB5 Crystal Ball. 

1. USA! USA! There will come a time – probably before this half-century is out – when an America that has not taken action to stop mass shootings, overcome perpetual war, mindless debt, or its deep social divides will no longer be able to govern itself…The only question will be who will come in and do it for us.  

2. 2024 election If the FBI raid of former President Donald Trump’s Flordia residence doesn’t produce a conviction – or at least a stunning, for-the-ages indictment – Donald Trump will join Grover Cleveland as the second president to serve non-consecutive terms. 

3. Sports Officiating Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters “pretty sure” there will come a time when teams/coaches will be obliged to officiate their own games as sports officials, tired of the abuse they’ve been taking, all up and quit.

4. College Football With no leadership and with everyone – colleges, TV networks, conferences, coaches, players – all in it solely to make every last possible dollar, there is no way this ends well as greed, eventually, leads to death from within.

5. Donald TrumpA hundred years from now when there are all new people on this planet, exactly how this ignorant, lying, man with blood on his hands from an inept, ignorant coronavirus response retained a political base will still be a mystery. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

Indeed, Read Free Sunday (RFS) is a thing at The Diary. 

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow decides to leave a creepy-looking guy alone. Today’s Diary. 

We were going to ask if we could be of service which, in this case, would be code for “what the hell’s going on here” but we thought it best to leave him alone. 

———

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On This Date
Extra, extra, read all about it.  

In 1935 – President Franklin Delano Roosevelt signs the Social Security Act, which establishes a government pension system for retired workers. The law did not cover all workers, including two-thirds of Blacks and a quarter of white workers, and the act also established unemployment insurance and aid for single mothers. The first Social Security check would be issued in 1940. 

In 1982 – Pete Rose of the Philadelphia Phillies establishes a new major league record for most career at-bats in a 15-11 win over the Montreal Expos. Rose had five at-bats and broke the record of 11,628 established by Henry Aaron between 1954-76. Rose would retire in 1984 with 14,053 at-bats and the record still stands. Rose’s first major league at-bat came on April 8, 1963, a ground out to second base, which followed a walk in his first plate appearance. 

In 1976 – Peter Frampton is at #1 on the Billboard 200 Album chart for the third of ten non-consecutive weeks with Frampton Comes Alive. It was the fifth chart album for Frampton, his first of two Top 10s, and remains his only #1. The album also went to #1 in Australia, Portugal, and Canada, peaked at #6 in Great Britain, and was Billboard’s #1 album of the year and their 14th-biggest of 1977. The album produced three chart singles including the Top 10s Show me the Way and Do You Feel Like We Do. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.

They buy ‘em and sell ‘em, and make trade of their heart’s blood, and groans and tears – and God lets them.
Harriet Beecher Stowe
Uncle Tom’s Cabin

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

The US won the most gold (22) and overall (56) medals at the 1928 Amsterdam Summer Olympics. The Germans (10,31) were second in each category. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

Approximately how many people received Social Security benefits in 2020? – Answer next time!

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The Diary of a Nobody/August 13

It’s Read Free Sunday (RFS) at The Diary.

It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Saturday, August 13
The big news is Amy didn’t have a pitcher of ice water waiting for me when we reported for duty tonite…She said she tried    I told her look, woman, trying’s nice and all, but ol’ Sparrow’s thirsty and prefers results…She laffed and said someone – there are no suspects – up and chained the pitcher she uses to the ice machine, so guests can fill their coolers without flooding the hallway…As it was, there weren’t any other pitchers in the back office and while we probably could’ve found one in the restaurant, we decided to ruff it and go with non-iced water. 

Continue reading

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