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The Daily Dose/Wednesday, November 15, 2018

The Daily Dose/November 15, 2018
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Friends, your favorite Daily Dose features – In The News, On This Date and Trivia will return Thursday.

Today At The Site
Sparrow has a busy night at the hotel, having to figure out some things he had already forgotten, and then he buys a new battery for The Wife’s car on today’s edition of The Diary of a Nobody. Then he heads for lunch at the Mexican joint in the next county, where he is greeted by a new cook.

I drive it over and I forget her name, but the girl who has always been very helpful was there…I told her what I needed and she took command, even asking if she could install it for me, because she plainly remembered having to install windshield wipers for me…

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The Bottom Ten/NFL Week 12

The Bottom Ten/NFL Week 12
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Friends, the NFL Bottom Ten is taking a bye week. The quest for The Dan Henning Trophy will resume next week.

 

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The Diary of a Nobody/November 14

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The Daily Dose/Wednesday, November 14, 2018

The Daily Dose/November 14, 2018
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

In The News
The number of possible hosts for the 2026 Winter Olympics is down to two after Calgary withdrew its bid, following the rejection by voters in a non-binding election this week.

The two cities that remain interested are a joint bid from Milan and Cortina d’Ampezzo, Italy and Stockholm, Sweeden and neither of these two entries seem entirely thrilled with this status. The Italian government has pledged to contribute zero funding whatsoever, while Stockholm’s new municipal government doesn’t want to bother with the Games, either. Both entries have prior Olympic experience, too: Cortina d’Ampezzo host the 1956 Winter Games while Stockholm hosted the 1912 Summer Games. In fact, Calgary had hosted the 1988 Winter Games.

That nobody is interested is hardly a bulletin. The IOC gave away the 2024 and 2028 Summer Games to Paris and Los Angeles because there was no other interest and it is plain fewer and fewer cities are willing to tolerate the Olympic’s lasting legacies of debt and facilities that only had a two-week shelf life. It’s not going to get any better, either, and we are pleased to present, again, our plan to avoid this problem in the future.

Host the Olympics around the world, the same events in the same place every four years.

Here’s an example of how it would work, using the Winter Games as an example:

The Opening Ceremonies can be held in Innsbrook, Austria. Skiing in the Alps. Hockey in North America. Speed skating in Japan. Cross country skiing in Finland. Those deals where they ride sleds down tracks can be held in Europe, too. Curling in Canada. At the end, everyone can meet in Lake Placid for the closing ceremonies.

Same deal for the Summer Games: Opening Ceremonies and some other sports like wrestling, archery and modern pentathlon in Athens. Big ticket events can alternate continents, but sports people only really care about every four years can be held where they have a long history: team handball in central Europe, field hockey in India, rugby in New Zealand or South Africa and when it’s all over everyone can meet in Los Angeles for the marathon, the basketball and baseball gold medal games and the Closing Ceremonies.

Holding events where there are already facilities in place slashes new construction costs by 99.993 percent. Instantly the Olympics are affordable again, infused with a fresh vitality it could certainly use. Instead of the Olympics gathering in one place, the Olympics could commandeer the entire planet.

Today at the Site
Sparrow issues another of his classic lines tonight at the retailer in today’s edition of The Diary of a Nobody. Also, he spends no small amount on the phone with tech support wondering why Internet at The Shire is down and he is so pleased with his service he agrees to take the survey they sent him.

Got another Sparrow Classic Line (SCL) off at the retailer today!!!…I am not making that up…I was at the service desk and a lady came up to check out…She had a kid in the baby seat, a bit older than a year it looked like, but I could not be bothered to reproduce, so what do I know…The line from Ol’ Sparrow:

“Here…Let me scan the kid…They’re one-third off this week…”

Today’s Thought for the Day is from Thomas Edison, talking about astounding ourselves.

[Edison] knew success was nothing more than having the wisdom to know the life you are meant to live, the courage to go and live that life and the patience to see it through to the desired end.

The NFL Bottom Ten/Week 12 will move Thursday.

On This Date
In  1971 – Mariner 9, launched by the United States in May, enters orbit around Mars, the first spacecraft to orbit another planet. The spacecraft was launched eleven days after the Soviet Union’s Mars 2 spacecraft, though Mars 2 didn’t reach Mars until late November when it became the first spacecraft to land on another planet. Mariner 9 was shut down in October 1972 and remains in Martian orbit, though it is expected to crash to the surface in 2022.

In 1943 – Sid Luckman of the Chicago Bears becomes the first NFL player to pass for seven touchdowns and more than 400 yards in a game, as the Bears defeat the New York Giants 56-7. The win moved the Bears to 7-0-1 on the season, and they would eventually win their sixth NFL title. Luckman’s seven touchdown record still stands, though it has been tied seven times, most recently by Drew Brees of the New Orleans Saints in 2015, also against the Giants.

In 1952 – The first regular record chart in Great Britain is published on this date, with Here In My Heart by Al Martino the first #1 song. Initially, the chart had twelve positions, would expand to 20 spots two years later and now has 100 entries. Over the years, Elvis has the most #1 songs in Great Britain with 21, while Paul McCartney has the most appearances at #1, 25, counting his time with the Beatles, Wings and as a solo act. The biggest song in British chart history is I Believe by Frankie Lane, which spent 18 weeks at #1 in 1953.

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Conway Twitty’s was born Harold Lloyd Jenkins.

Today’s Stumper
The Chicago Bears moved to Chicago in 1921. Where did they play before that? – Answer Next Time!

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The Diary of a Nobody/November 13

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The Daily Dose/Tuesday, November 13, 2018

The Daily Dose/November 13, 2018
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

In The News
The In The News segment will return.

Today at the Site
Sparrow gets off another of his classic lines at the retailer in today’s edition of The Diary of a Nobody. Also, he gets the snow tires put on his car.

In the midst of all this, I actually managed to be useful to customer…

It’s the tightest race for the ESPNCup in years on The Bottom Ten/NCAA Week 12. Rice continues to set the pace, and UTEP returns to the medal stand, as Division III Earlham wraps up another glorious 0-10 season, becoming the first team to earn three (3) straight Continental Cups – issued to the team with the longest all-division losing streak in the Saudi sphere of influence.

5, Navy (2-8; lost to Central Florida 35-24)
Mitigating Factors: Navy – still favorites for Sgt Bilko Trophy, symbolic of service academy lousiness – impresses B-10 pollsters with first seven (7)-game skid since 2002 squad lost ten (10) straight…Middies hampered by pregame Navy Secretary order requiring team – in order to better celebrate Marine Corps birthday – to call all audibles to tune of Happy Birthday To You.
FunFact: Revered 2002 squad was also last Navy team to produce two (2)-win season, going 2-10.

Next Loss: Tulsa

Today’s Thought for the Day is an encore from September, from the book Roots, with Alex Haley talking about minding one’s business.

Minding our own business is nothing more than one way to eliminate outside influences from dominating our lives…This is difficult if we are using our time for fretting about other people’s affairs.

On This Date
In 1956 – The United States Supreme Court upholds a lower court opinion in Browder v. Gale, which struck down an Alabama law requiring segregated buses. The decision upheld a US District Court ruling that had been handed down in June. The suit was part of the Montgomery Bus Boycott which had begun in December 1955, following the arrest of Rosa Parks.

In 1982 – Ray Mancini defeats Duk Koo Kim in a 14th round TKO to defend his WBA lightweight title at Caesar’s Palace in Las Vegas. Immediately after the fight ended, Kim collapses in the ring goes into a coma and dies four days later in a Las Vegas hospital. The fight brought changes to boxing, namely the end of 15 round fights, the addition of the standing eight count and changes to the medical test boxers receive.

In 1971 – Conway Twitty and Loretta Lynn are at #1 on the Billboard country chart – then known as the Hot Country Singles chart – with Lead Me On. The song would spend one week at #1 and also went to #1 on Canada’s country chart. Lead Me On was the second of five consecutive #1 songs for Twitty and Lynn, who would have twelve country hits together, all of them reaching the Top 10. As solo acts, Twitty had 31 #1 country hits and Lynn had 11.

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
The first professional football team in America was located in Latrobe, Pennsylvania. In 1897 the Latrobe Athletic Association was comprised entirely of professional players. They went 10-2-1, including some games against college teams.

Today’s Stumper
What was Conway Twitty’s real name? – Answer Next Time!

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The Bottom Ten/NCAA Week 12

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The Diary of a Nobody/November 12

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The Daily Dose/Monday, November 12, 2018

The Daily Dose/November 12, 2018
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

In The News
It seems to us that stories fade from view quicker than in the past, so here is the latest on the death of Saudi writer Jamal Khashoggi, which we – here in America at least – haven’t heard too much about. Recall Khashoggi who was last seen entering the Saudi Arabian consulate in Istanbul, Turkey last month.

Source: Aljazeera

  • Khashoggi is still dead. The Saudi government has given up denying Khashoggi was killed in the consulate.
  • Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman recently said those responsible will be found and punished. The staff here at In The News doesn’t believe that any more than you do.
  • There is suspicion that Khashoggi was suffocated with a bag over his head, the dismembered and the remains tossed in acid. Reports indicate that the Turks have made a recording of the killing available to the Saudi’s, Americans, British, Germans and French.
  • Some European countries have gotten their shots in a knot over this and have suspended arms sales to Saudi Arabia, but not everyone. The Americans and British, among others, continue to sell arms to the Saudis.

Saudi Arabia may well brazen their way through this without significant consequence. While the US and France went through the motions of demanding Saudi accountability this past weekend, and some malcontents are still making a fuss over it, time is the Saudi’s friend and the longer the world collectively continues to go without making too much of a fuss over this, the greater the chance no one will be held accountable for Khashoggi’s murder.

Today At The Site
The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow continues to get mileage out of his soon-to-be classic “my old teeth looked like an archaeological dig” line at the retailer, plus he is given some options on what days he works at Hotel C. 

I spent no small amount of time on my treasured Aisle 5 tonight and I was swamped…Key to being swamped is to be the only register open…I am not making that up!!!…That is all it takes, even if you’re dead slow like we’ve been since summer ended…

The Thought for the Day: In an encore from September of last year, Louis L’Amour talks about us humans hardly realizing what we can become. 

But once you muster the courage to go and climb and you find the patience to stick with it, you will find that all things will come to you, that what was meant to happen in your life generally will happen. 

On This Date
In 1912 – The bodies of British explorer Robert Falcon Scott and two of his men are found by a search party on the Ross Ice Shelf. The expedition had made the South Pole in January, only to discover the expedition led by Norwegian explorer Roald Amundsen had already been there. Scott and his men had made their final camp on March 19th and are believed to have died on either March 29th or March 30th.

In 1892 – William “Pudge” Heffelfinger becomes the first professional football player in America when he is paid $500 (about $13,800 in today’s dollars) by the Alleghany Athletic Association (AAA) for their game against the Pittsburgh Athletic Club. Heffelinger, a guard, scored the only touchdown, on a recovered fumble, as the AAA won 4-0. From 188-91 Heffelfinger had played at Yale, where he had also lettered in rowing, baseball and track

In 1983 – All Night Long by Lionel Richie is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the first of four consecutive weeks. The song was also in the fourth week of a seven-week stay atop the Billboard’s soul chart- then known as the Hot Black Singles chart – and All Night Long also went to #1 in South Africa, Holland and Australia. It was Richie’s third solo #1 on the Hot 100 and his second on the soul chart.

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
The qualification least issued by the US military is the Astronaut Badge. Each branch designs their own, and NASA awards them to civilians.

Today’s Stumper
Where was the first professional football team in America located? – Answer next time!

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The Diary of a Nobody/November 11

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