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The Daily Dose/April 6, 2026
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™
Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience.
PLAY BALL: The Automated Ball-Strike (ABS) system, which allows teams to challenge a ball-or-strike call by the home plate umpire, debuted in Major League Baseball this season. It’s as unforgiving as it is precise, with calls sometimes overturned by millimeters or fractions of inches.
FunFact: Some think this reflects poorly on umpires. It’s not a good look, obviously, but it’s useful to remember the ABS system has a strike zone that is different than the strike zone listed in the rule book, which is what umpires have been calling for years.
We’re In For Some Dry, Technical Matter, Aren’t We?: The rulebook strike zone is the area over the plate from the batter’s knees to a midpoint between his belt and his shoulders when the batter is preparing to swing at a pitch. It is a strike if any part of the ball passes through any part of the strike zone.
Please Pass The Dry, Technical Matter: The ABS zone is measured as a percentage of the batter’s height: the lower end is 27% of a batter’s height, and the upper boundary is 53.5% of a batter’s height. More importantly, the pitch isn’t measured until it passes the middle of the plate, which is 8.5 inches from home plate’s front edge. This is completely whack if you ask us, because the entire front half of the plate is eliminated from ABS strike zone.
The Bottom Line: We humans are adaptable creatures and, soon enough, everyone will adjust to the ABS zone. Especially umpires, who certainly do not like being overturned, sometimes multiple times a game/inning. Probably well before the All-Star break, after they’ve gotten a few plates under their belts, they will know what ABS does and does not consider a strike and will adjust their lives accordingly. Then we can all move on to whining about other things.
Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually.
The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow counts an awful lot of coins. Today’s Diary.
…why there was such an influx of change may never be known, becasue Sparrow Investigations certainly won’t be looking into it.
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Would you like 4Ever & Ever access to Gaylon’s crap?
Of course you would.
Click here. It’s only $24.99.
Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device.
———
On This Date
Extra, extra, read all about it.
In 1841 – President John Tyler – who had assumed office two days earlier when President William Henry Harrison died – take the presidential oath in a Washington, D.C. hotel room. Tyler had thought this redundant because he had taken the oath as vice president, but he wanted to remove all doubt about whether he was president or acting president. Tyler immediately annoyed his Cabinet and then the Whig Party and would not be nominated for a full term in 1844.
In 1987 – Sugar Ray Leonard wins the WBC world middleweight title with a split decision victory over Marvelous Marvin Hagler at Caesars Palace in Las Vegas. Both fighters earned 115-113 scores, while Leonard won the fight with a 118-110 win on the third scorecard, a score that was largely derided. Hagler retained his IBF middleweight title when the IBF declined to sanction the bout, while the WBO stripped Hagler of their title because he did not fight the mandatory challenger. Leonard was also the WBA and WBC welterweight champion.
In 1991 – Gloria Estefan is at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the second and final consecutive week with Coming Out of the Dark. It was the third of eleven Top 10 hits for Estefan and her third and final #1, figures which include hits with the Miami Sound Machine. The song also went #1 in Canada, peaked at #25 in Great Britain, at #60 on Billboard’s Hot R&B/Hip-Hop chart, and was Billboard’s 34th-biggest song of the year.
Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.
Not, of course, that she knew everything, but what woman was ever stopped by a want of information?
John LeCarre
Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy
Answer To The Last Trivia Questions
Knowledge is power.
The longest suspension bridge in the US is the Verrezzano-Narrows Bridge in New York City, at 4,260 feet.
Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.
Who were the nominees for president in the 1844 US presidential election? – Answer next time!
The Daily Dose/April 5, 2026
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™
The Sunday Bottom 5
A ranking of some things.
1. War With Iran – Still illegal – it was not declared by Congress – and still immoral – we bombed school girls for Pete’s sake – it remains as useless a loss of life as mankind has produced…History will record every death on both sides a slaughter.
2. Epstein Files – Still there, though war with Iran is doing a tidy job of pushing it to the back burner…For now…President Trump is still mentioned tens of thousands of times, and he has yet to publicly acknowledge that he has not molested children, though he has acknowledged that he grabs women by the pussy.
3. USA! USA! – The 3-hole staple…Seven decades into TV and fast food being focal points of American life, we are well-fed and well-entertained and not too much interested in fussin’ over things – like ignorance and war – that do not directly threaten it…Yet…It will soon enough, though, because ignorance is the standard in America now and ignorance can only flourish for so long before taking a permanent toll.
4. Artemis II – Voyage going pretty well so far, no small feat for a country that hadn’t sent anyone past low Earth orbit in over half a century…Pesky problem toilet fixed by token woman on crew, after token Black, token Canadian, and token white were unable to effect repair.
5. ABS – Automated ball/strike calling system making big league debut this season after a few years on the farm, though its strike zone – based on a player’s height and if ball crosses center of home plate – is different from the strike zone mentioned in rulebook…Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters “strongly suspect” everyone will adapt to the ABS strike zone soon enough, with challenges ultimately being no more newsworthy than an infield fly.
Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually.
It is Read Free Sunday (RFS) at The Diary of a Nobody.
The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow is back at the hotel. Today’s Diary.
It was big news in triplicate tonite at the hotel: the #1 and #4 keys are back in the key safe, the Easter decorations are up, and Romeo’s been fired…I am not making any of those things up…
———
Would you like 4Ever & Ever access to Gaylon’s crap?
Of course you would.
Click here. It’s only $24.99.
Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device.
———
On This Date
Extra, extra, read all about it.
In 1998 – The longest suspension bridge in the world opens in Japan. The Akashi Kaikyo Bridge is 6,532 feet long and connects the cities of Kobe and Iwaya in south-central Japan. Construction began in 1988, and today the toll is roughly equivalent to $14. It was surpassed as the world’s longest suspension bridge in 2022 by a bridge in Turkey 6,637 feet long that connects the European and Asian portions of the country.
In 2010 – The Duke Blue Devils win the NCAA men’s basketball championship with a 61-59 victory over the Butler Bulldogs in Indianapolis. It was the fourth of five national championships for the Blue Devils and was the first of two consecutive national runner-up finishes for Butler. It remains the last of six meetings in the national championship game between two private schools and was the first since Villanova defeated Georgetown in 1985.
In 1980 – The Brothers Johnson are at #1 on Billboard’s soul chart – then known as the Hot Soul Singles chart – for the first of two consecutive weeks with Stomp! It was the fourth and final Top 10 soul hit for the group and their third and final #1. The song also went #1 pop in New Zealand, #6 pop in Great Britain, peaked at #7 on the Hot 100, and was Billboard’s 15th-biggest soul song of the year. The song was produced by Quincy Jones.
Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.
You must live your life for something more important than your life alone. One who has never lost himself in a cause bigger than himself has missed one of life’s mountaintop experiences.
Richard Nixon
Answer To The Last Trivia Questions
Knowledge is power.
Jefferson Airplane’s first Top 40 hit was Somebody To Love, which peaked at #5 in 1967.
Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.
What is the longest suspension bridge in the US? – Answer next time!
It’s Red Free Sunday (RFS) at The Diary.
It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…
Saturday, April 4
Holy Crap
It was big news in triplicate tonite at the hotel: the #1 and #4 keys are back in the key safe, the Easter decorations are up, and Romeo’s been fired…I am not making any of those things up.
The Daily Dose/April 4, 2026
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™
Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience.
Leading Off will return.
Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually.
The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow listens to a screaming baby. Today’s Diary.
Heck, he wasn’t crying, he was screaming and had been since he was brought in…Poor kid, it sounded like they were burning him…
———
Would you like 4Ever & Ever access to Gaylon’s crap?
Of course you would.
Click here. It’s only $24.99.
Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device.
———
On This Date
Extra, extra, read all about it.
In 1964 – The Beatles establish a new Billboard Hot 100 record by occupying the top five positions on the chart. The songs were 1. Can’t Buy Me Love, 2. Twist and Shout, 3. She Loves You, 4. I Want to Hold Your Hand, and 5. Please Please Me. The Beatles broke their own record of four, established on March 14, and tied it again the following two weeks and the record was tied again by Drake in 2021. The record is now 14 by Taylor Swift in May 2024.
In 2001 – Hideo Nomo of the Boston Red Sox establishes a new major league record for the earliest no-hitter in a 3-0 win over the Baltimore Orioles. It was the second no-hitter of Nomo’s career, and broke the record of April 7, done twice, by Ken Forsch in 1979 and Jack Morris in 1984. The record is now April 1, by Ronel Blanco of the Houston Astros in 2024.
In 1987 – Starship is at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the first of two consecutive weeks with Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now. It was the eighth and final Top 10 hit for the group that first charted as the Jefferson Airplane in 1967, and was their third and final #1 song. The song went to #1 in five other countries, including Portugal and Great Britain, and was Billboard’s 5th-biggest song of the year. The song was written by Diane Warren and Albert Hammond,
Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.
Nothing is so weak and unstable as a reputation for power not founded on strength of one’s own.
Tacitus
Roman Historian
(c 55 AD-120 AD)
Answer To The Last Trivia Questions
Knowledge is power.
The Montreal Canadiens and Boston Bruins have met in the Stanley Cup Finals seven times, most recently in 1978. Montreal has won all seven times.
Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.
What was Jefferson Airplane’s first Top 40 hit? – Answer next time!
The Daily Dose/April 3, 2026
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™
Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience.
ELECT THE CLOWN, WATCH THE CIRCUS: President Donald Trump addressed the nation Wednesday night, the subject the war with Iran. He did not offer an end date for hostilities, nor did he offer many details on strategy. You do not have to be a West Point graduate to surmise details weren’t offered because there aren’t any. Like everything else associated with Trump, this war is being run off the top of his head.
Get Your Daily Dose Policy Right Here: This war remains illegal and immoral. Illegal because it was not declared by Congress as mandated by the Constitution. Immoral because 1) Iran presented no direct threat to us, and, 2) because we’ve bombed schoolgirls.
We Are The World: Why the entire planet is not demanding US accountability for this war crime would be beyond comprehension, save the fact that everyone – from Congress to the media to you and me, we the people – would rather appease Trump than tell him no.
Dry, Technical Matter: Per standard Trump policy, the speech was riddled with inaccuracies and lies. Click here for a list compiled by the AP.
The Bottom Line: Donald Trump has no regard for anything except drawing attention to himself. He doesn’t care about the Constitution, and he doesn’t care about those who fight his wars. He is a man of no moral or intellectual substance, and we are being governed accordingly. We don’t care, though. Trump’s witlessness has been on display since he first announced for the GOP nomination ten years ago. We elected him anyway. We elected the clown, and every day we have a front row seat to the circus.
Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually.
The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow does some shopping. Today’s Diary.
…it turned out to be a four-store imbroglio…To top it off, we forgot our wallet, tho that was no big deal because we could tap with our phone.
———
Would you like 4Ever & Ever access to Gaylon’s crap?
Of course you would.
Click here. It’s only $24.99.
Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device.
———
On This Date
Extra, extra, read all about it.
In 1865 – Union troops commanded by Major General Godfrey Weitzel capture the Confederate capital at Richmond, Virginia. Two days earlier, the Union had won the Battle of Five Forks, which effectively cut off the Confederacy, and the Union army would later surround the Confederates near Appomattox Courthouse. After an initial battle, General Lee surrendered on April 9.
In 1930 – The Montreal Canadiens win the Stanley Cup, defeating the Boston Bruins 4-3 to sweep the series in two games. It was the third of 24 Stanley Cup titles for the Canadiens, and was the first of 13 runner-up finishes for the Bruins, to go along with six titles. The title remains one of the great upsets in Stanley Cup history, as the Bruins had gone 38-5-1 in the regular season, establishing a points percentage record of .875 that still stands.
In 1971 – The Temptations are at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the first of two consecutive weeks with Just My Imagination (Running Away With Me). The song also peaked at #8 in Great Britain, in March spent three weeks at #1 on Billboard’s soul chart, and was their 9th-biggest song of the year. It was the 13th of 16 Top 10 hits for the group and was their third of four #1s.
Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.
In a word, other men’s armor will either slip off your back, or weigh you down, or constrict your actions.
Niccolo Machiavelli
The Prince
Answer To The Last Trivia Questions
Knowledge is power.
Pope Leo X – elected in 1513 – was the last person elected pope who was not a priest. He was consecrated immediately following his election.
Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.
How many times have the Montreal Canadiens and the Boston Bruins met in the Stanley Cup Finals? – Answer next time!
