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Sort of like prostitution, we are charging for some things now after giving them away, and we have two (2) subscription options for you:

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Thank you for reading. I know you’ll enjoy the new site.

Cordially,
Gaylon
America’s Funniest Guy

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The Diary of a Nobody – Wed 8/15/2018

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The Daily Dose/Wednesday, August 15, 2018

Friends, The Daily Dose will return.

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The Diary of a Nobody – Tue 8/14/18

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The Daily Dose/Tuesday, August 14, 2018

The Daily Dose/August 14, 2018
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

And here we go:

In The News
One thing we’ve noticed over the 2018 baseball season is that almost every photo we see shows a lot of empty seats. There’s a reason for this, as attendance is down. At first, everyone blamed the cold and wet weather that attended the start of the season, but it’s summer, the weather’s warm now, and attendance is still down, 6.6% from 2017, with an average attendance of a bit more than 28,000 a game. The last time MLB had an average attendance of under 30,000 was 2003.

Now, it’s not as bad as the Aloha Bowl was years ago, when TV did everything they could to hide 40,000 empty seats, but five teams average less than 20,000 fans per game, and 60% of teams are down anywhere from 179 to 11,000 fans per game.

Our country is changing, and kids today don’t really have the patience to sit a three-hour ballgame. Heck, we don’t, either, honestly, especially with strikouts more common than hits nowadays as defensive shifts and batters who refuse to adjust taking a lot of the fun out of the game.

It will be interesting to see where baseball and the NFL – between PR nightmares and fewer people playing football – will be in a generation or two.

Today At The Site
The Wife is back on today’s edition of The Diary of a Nobody, and just in the nick of time, too, because Sparrow was going to have stock up on mayo and peanut butter here in a couple of days. To prepare, Sparrow cleaned the kitchen, which included moving the clean clothes off of the kitchen table, where they’d been sitting for the past month.

The Thought for the Day will return.

On This Date
In 1936 – The last public execution in the United States takes place in Owensboro, Kentucky, with the hanging of Rainey Bethea. The crowd was estimated at 20,000 and the executioner, one Arthur Hash, was drunk and ignored the sheriff’s command to open the trap door, a task that ended up being performed by a nearby deputy.

In 1936 – The United States wins the first Olympic gold medal in basketball, at the Berlin Games, defeating Canada 19-8. All games in the tournament were played outdoors, including the final which was played in the rain, which prevented anyone from dribbling. Team USA was coached by Jimmy Needles, a noted west coast coach who earlier had coached a team representing Universal Pictures to the AAU title.

In 1976 – Elton John and Kiki Dee are at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the second of four weeks with Don’t Go Breaking My Heart. It was John’s sixth #1 in America and his first in Britain and Don’t Go Breaking My Heart remains Dee’s only #1 in either country. It went to #1 in seven other countries besides the US and Britain and was Billboard’s second biggest song of 1976 behind Silly Love Songs by Wings.

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
The Triple Crown winner sired by Man o’ War was War Admiral, who won the Triple Crown in 1937.

Today’s Stumper
The governor of Kentucky in 1936 was a future commissioner of baseball. Who was he? – Answer next time!

Shameless Plugs
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo: A Vegas Memoir!: Clock in with the graveyard crew at the Monte Carlo Security Department on the glamorous Las Vegas Strip. You’ll meet drunks, reprobates and scoundrels, and those are just the officers! The funniest Vegas memoir ever! Promise!

The Regular Guys: Meet Lenny and Larry, two comedians who team up more or less out of desperation and become the biggest in show business. As funny as you would expect from Gaylon, and poignant, too.

Click here to read previews of both!
Click here to subscribe and get your all-access pass. 

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The Diary of a Nobody/Mon 8/13/2018

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The Daily Dose/Monday, August 13, 2018

The Daily Dose/August 13, 2018
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

And here we go:

In The News
The news about former White House advisor Omarosa Manigault Newman’s admission that she recorded certain conversations towards the end of her tenure there have raised the ire of the people you would expect. As it probably should, actually. You would think there would be some places that are sacred, but it’s the second decade of the 21st century, everybody has a recording device on their phone nowadays and these things will continue to happen.

But you know what? We can’t help wondering why she felt compelled to record these conversations in the first place and the fact she did is telling. Our government is partisan, fractured and bickering mess right now and this is merely another example of that.

Today At The Site
Sparrow has the latest from the gardens in today’s edition of The Diary of a Nobody, including the onions and that plant along the Main Street fence that seems to have different flowers every day. Also, there’s some scat on the lawn he can’t identify, though he suspects it came from a critter.

British novelist and mariner Nicholas Monsarrat has The Thought for the Day, a quote from his novel A Fair Day’s Work about the benefits of standing tall and walking with a purpose.

On This Date
In 1792 – Louis XVI, the king of France, is arrested and declared an enemy of the people. His trial began in December, he was convicted, condemned and beheaded the following January. His final words were cut off by a drum roll and by all accounts the deposed king met his fate bravely.

In 1919 – Man o’ War, then a two-year-old, loses his only race, in the Sanford Memorial Stakes at Saratoga, to Upset, who won by a neck. Man o’ War would win the 20 other races he ran, including the 1920 Preakness and Belmont stakes and probably would have won the Triple Crown had he been entered in the Kentucky Derby.

In 1977 – Andy Gibb’s first hit single, I Just Want To Be Your Everything is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the third of four non-consecutive weeks. It would be replaced at #1 the following week by the Emotions; Best of My Love, which stayed at #1 for four weeks, and would return to the top spot for one week on September 17.

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
 The Commodores had one other #1 single, Still, in 1979.

Today’s Stumper
What Triple Crown winner did Man o’ War sire? – Answer next time!

Shameless Plugs
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo: A Vegas Memoir!: Clock in with the graveyard crew at the Monte Carlo Security Department on the glamorous Las Vegas Strip. You’ll meet drunks, reprobates and scoundrels, and those are just the officers! The funniest Vegas memoir ever! Promise!

The Regular Guys: Meet Lenny and Larry, two comedians who team up more or less out of desperation and become the biggest in show business. As funny as you would expect from Gaylon, and poignant, too.

Click here to read previews of both!
Click here to subscribe and get your all-access pass. 

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The Thought for the Day – Nicholas Monserrat

It was an entrance made by a man whose every attitude, from the angle of his jaw to the firm tread of his feet, seemed to proclaim that the room was better for his presence.
Nicholas Monsarrat/A Fair Day’s Work


Nicholas Monsarrat (1910-79) was a British novelist. He originally planned to be a lawyer, but the law bored him and he turned to writing. He served his country honorably in His Majesty’s Navy in World War II, finishing as the commanding officer of the frigate HMS Perim. After the war, he served in His Majesty’s diplomatic Corps before turning to writing full time. Most of his works have something to do with the sea and today’s Thought concerns an aristocrat walking into the cabin of a ship’s commanding officer.
More Thoughtful Crap Here

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The Diary of a Nobody – Sun 8/12/18

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The Daily Dose – Sunday, August 12, 2018

The Daily Dose/August 12, 2018
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

And here we go:

Hail And Farewell
Friends, it is with mixed emotions that we announce immediate hiatus of The Sunday Bottom Ten. We enjoyed writing it immensely, however, the time has come to stop writing it, perhaps for a short while, perhaps for a long while.

We’re sad because it was a good column, more or less what you expect here: something funny and thoughtful, something that makes you laugh and makes you think.

On the other hand, good riddance because the past couple of weeks it had become, frankly, a chore to write. We are producing three columns a day here, not to mention other projects and we are running for Congress and the inspiration for The Sunday Bottom Ten began to fade. It is best to listen to your heart in these matters because to ignore it means we are no longer writing, we are merely typing and you, me and The Sunday Bottom Ten all deserve better than that.

I hope you enjoyed it. There were certainly some funny moments.

Today At The Site
Sparrow sees a couple of things at Hotel A that were new, even for him, including a girl in a bathrobe presenting herself in his lobby, looking for a room on today’s edition of The Diary of a Nobody. Also, it is very slow at the retailer, though the older gentleman they see everyday stops by trying to return a prenatal supplement the retailer doesn’t carry.

This will surprise regular readers of this crap, but Gore Vidal has The Thought for the Day. Today, it’s a quote from Lincoln concerning time and moving with some haste towards our goals.

On This Date
In 1851 – Isaac Singer receives US patent #8294, for improvements to the sewing machine. Singer’s was far from the first sewing machine patent, but it was the first that was practical for home use and led to the formation of the Singer Sewing Machine Company in 1856.

In 1964 – South Africa is barred from competing in the Olympic Games because of their white minority government’s policy of institutionalized racial segregation.  South Africa would not return the Olympics until the 1992 Barcelona Summer Games.

In 1978 – The Commodores reach #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the first time when Three Times A Lady reaches the top for the first of two weeks.  The song also went to #1 in Britain, Canada and Ireland. Though their original members have left, the Commodores still tour and last hit the Top 40 in 1985, when Nightshift went to #3

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Of the 36 men who attempted to escape from Alcatraz, five were never found. All are presumed to have drowned.

Today’s Stumper
How many other #1 hits have the Commodores had? – Answer next time!

Shameless Plugs
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo: A Vegas Memoir!: Clock in with the graveyard crew at the Monte Carlo Security Department on the glamorous Las Vegas Strip. You’ll meet drunks, reprobates and scoundrels, and those are just the officers! The funniest Vegas memoir ever! Promise!

The Regular Guys: Meet Lenny and Larry, two comedians who team up more or less out of desperation and become the biggest in show business. As funny as you would expect from Gaylon, and poignant, too.

Click here to read previews of both!
Click here to subscribe and get your all-access pass. 

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The Thought for the Day – Gore Vidal

There is not much time for anyone, really. We must all move with such haste toward…our goals. – Gore Vidal, Lincoln


Lincoln is a historical novel from Vidal’s Narratives of Empire, a series of seven historical novels that chronical America from 1775 through 1950, though in the last one Vidal does visit the year 2000, where he makes an appearance as himself. Lincoln is told through the eyes of assorted figures of the era and tends to chronicle the day in, day out political and personal challenges Lincoln faces, instead of the battles of the Civil War. It is one hell of a book and comes with our highest possible recommendation. It was our introduction to Vidal, too, as mom and dad had the book in our home library.
Click Here For More…Now.

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