The Daily Dose/May 16, 2022
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience. 

Leading Off will return. Promise.

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow has the latest gas mileage figures. Today’s Diary. 

We filled up heading out to the big city, at the city at the Interstate, and received the privilege of bending over and taking it in the shorts by paying more than $5 a gallon for the first time…This was funny: here was a gas station in a conveniently located city charging five dollars and change and up in our remote part of the state we’re still keeping less than five…Not a whole lot less, but it’s still good for morale. 

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On This Date
History’s long march.  

In 1868 – President Andrew Johnson is acquitted in his impeachment trial conducted by the United States Senate. Johnson was acquitted by a single vote on the first of eleven articles of impeachment that had been passed by the US House in February. The decisive vote was cast by Senator Edmund G Ross of Kansas, one of ten Republicans who voted against his party. Ten days later, votes on the second and third articles resulted in the same 35-19 result and the Senate declined to vote on the remaining articles.  

In 1980 – Magic Johnson of the Los Angeles Lakers establishes a new NBA Finals record for most points in a game by a rookie as the Lakers win the NBA title with a 123-107 win over the Philadelphia 76ers to win the title in six games. Johnson had 42 points in the game, as well as 15 rebounds and seven assists, and his 14-for-14 performance at the free throw line established a Finals record for most free throws made without a miss, a record now held by Kawhi Leonard of Toronto (16, 2019). It was the seventh of 17 NBA titles for the Lakers. 

In 1987 – U2 is at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 of the first of three consecutive weeks with With Or Without You. It was their second of 17 Top 40 hits, their first of six Top 10 hits, and was their first of two #1 songs. The song also went to #1 in Poland, Ireland, and Canada, peaked at 34 in Great Britain, and was Billboard’s 15th biggest song of the year. Early in the recording process the band, not pleased with the song’s progress, considered abandoning it and their manager didn’t think it was good enough for release as a single. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.

No powerful priesthood, no ancient and inspired text limited men’s thinking…Here for the first time thought became secular, and sought rational and consistent answers to the problems of the world and man.
Will Durant
The Story of Civilization, Vol. II: The Life of Greece

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

The oldest McDonalds still operating opened in Downey, California in 1953. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

What was Andrew Johnson’s trade before getting into politics? – Answer next time!

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The Daily Dose/May 15, 2022
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™

The Sunday Bottom 5
A ranking of some things.

1. Buffalo Shooting – What in thee hell has this country done to piss off young, white, males except give them 24 hours each day to make something good happen for themselves???…SB5 pollsters “pretty sure” thoughts and prayers will never be able to overcome a whackjob hell-bent on causing mayhem. 

2. Russian/Ukrainian War – Russian army sergeant on trial for war crimes in Kyiv will get a fair hearing, which is more than the Ukrainian people have been getting…SB5 pollsters ready to volunteer for mission to infiltrate Russia and arrest Vladimir Putin as soon as shipment of invisible ink, briefcase rifles, and rocket-powered wingtips come in.

3. Donald Trump – The 3-hole staple…Instead of being banished in shame – not to mention tried – for leading the January 6 insurrection, instead of being reviled for the blood on his hands for an inept coronavirus response, instead of being dismissed for believing the moon is part Mars, ignorant blatherskite reveling in his role as GOP kingmaker, still heralded as the pacesetter for the 2024 GOP nomination. 

4. US Supreme Court – Supreme Court justice whining about abortion opinion leak being bad for their morale duly noted by SB5 pollsters, however aftermath of leak well deserved, as a once august body now nothing more than GOP tool being used to force far-right agenda down America’s throat…We deserve better. 

5. Newtons Clock: Chaos in the Solar System by Ivars Peterson – A pretty good read on how our solar system goes about its business, considering it was written by a math scholar and we’re just autodidacts here…Despite not being too confused, SB5 pollsters “strongly suspect” they will never understand what “phase space” is. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

Yay for Read Free Sunday (RFS) at The Diary.

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow has the latest from Morning Coffee Service (MCS) at the hotel. Today’s Diary. 

At first, that new Italian sweet creme crap (ISCC) shared a basket with half & half before some wizard – there are no suspects – decided that French vanilla could do without a basket…This is completely and utterly whack, of course, because we move a lot of French vanilla, so this morning I moved the spare ISCC to a portion of a box that held some sugar packets and gave French vanilla its own basket again. 

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Click here to get in on the laughs.
4Ever & Ever ($8.99) and monthly ($2.99) plans available.

Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device. 

———

On This Date
History’s long march.  

In 1940 – The McDonald brothers, Richard and Maurice, open the first McDonalds restaurant, in San Bernardino, California. The brothers later hired Ray Kroc as their franchising agent and Kroc bought the brothers out for $2.7 million, about $26 million in today’s money. Today McDonalds serves 69 million customers a day in 100 countries and is the world’s second-largest private employer behind Walmart. 

In 1953 – Rocky Marciano defends his world heavyweight boxing title with a first-round knockout of Jersey Joe Walcott at Chicago Stadium. Marciano had won the title from Walcott with a 13th-round knockout the previous September and would defend his title five more times before retiring with a 49-0 record, 43 of them by knockout. The fight ended in some controversy with Walcott sitting on the canvas early in the count, but the referee ruled he was not up before the ten-count was finished. Video footage showed Walcott was off the canvas but not on his feet when the count reached ten.  

In 1993 – Janet Jackson is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the first of eight consecutive weeks with That’s The Way Love Goes. The song went to #1 in Canada, New Zealand, and Australia, peaked at #2 in Great Britain, was also in its second of four consecutive weeks on Billboard’s soul chart, was Billboard’s fourth-biggest song of the year, and its 17th-biggest of the decade. It was the 14th of 26 Top 10 hits for Jackson and was her sixth of ten #1 pop songs and her tenth of 15 #1 soul hits. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.

Ars longa, vita brevis- art is long and time is fleeting. This is the tragedy of every great soul.
Will Durant

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

The Montreal Canadiens last won the Stanley Cup in 1993. They are also the last Canadian team to win the Cup. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

Where is the oldest McDonalds that is still operating located? – Answer next time!

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The Daily Dose/May 14, 2022
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience. 

Leading Off is taking a break while we work on a project. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow reports they are remodeling at the retailer. Today’s Diary. 

So yours truly went to the retailer where it was complete chaos…As they do from time to time to keep us customers on our toes and utterly confused, a lot of the store – perhaps most, and perhaps all – is being reorganized…Actually, a remodel would be a better term. 

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Click here to get in on the laughs.
4Ever & Ever ($8.99) and monthly ($2.99) plans available.

Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device. 

———

On This Date
History’s long march.  

In 1610 – Louis XIII, aged nine, assumes the thrones of France and, as Louis II, of Navarre, following the assassination of his father, Henry IV. Louis married Anne of Austria in 1615 and Louis also made men’s wigs fashionable for the first time since antiquity. Louis relinquished the throne of Navarre in 1620 and served as King of France for exactly 33 years, dying on this date in 1643. 

In 1977 – The Montreal Canadiens win the Stanley Cup, defeating the Boston Bruins 2-1 in overtime in game four of the Stanley Cup Finals at the Boston Garden. It was the second of four consecutive Stanley Cup titles for the Canadiens, their 20th of 24 overall, and was the ninth of twelve losses in the Finals for the Bruins. Jacques Lemaire had the game-winning goal at the 4:32 mark of overtime, the 12th of 17 times the Cup had been won with an overtime goal. 

In 1966 – The Mamas and the Papas are at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the second of three consecutive weeks with Monday, Monday. The song also went to #1 in South Africa and Canada, peaked at #3 in Great Britain, and was Billboard’s seventh-biggest song of the year. It was the second of six Top 10 hits for the group and remains their only #1 song. The song won the Grammy Award for Best Pop Vocal Performance by a Duo or Group and was the first #1 song on the Hot 100 by a mixed-gender group.

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.

“The money is important,” he says. “But you don’t do it for the money.”
“What do you do it for?” I say.
“The beauty,” he says softly. “The beauty.”
Gus Caputo and Bobby Fallon
Flesh and Blood
Pete Hamill

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

An ambassador extraordinary and plenipotentiary is a diplomat of the highest rank, someone accredited as permanent representative to another country or sovereign. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

When did the Montreal Canadiens win their last Stanley Cup championship? – Answer next time!

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The Daily Dose/May 13, 2022
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience. 

Leading Off is taking a break while we work on a project. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow has blueberry BBQ sauce. Today’s Diary. 

Good gravy, where’s this been all my life…

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Click here to get in on the laughs.
4Ever & Ever ($8.99) and monthly ($2.99) plans available.

Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device. 

———

On This Date
History’s long march.  

In 1501 – Italian mariner Amerigo Vespucci sets sail on a western voyage from Lisbon under a commission from King Manuel I of Portugal. The fleet of three ships, under the command of Goncalo Coelho, reached Brazil in August and in January discovered Rio de Janeiro, though details of the voyage home are unclear due to confusing records left by Vespucci. Despite this, in 1507 German cartographer Martin Waldseemuller modified Vespucci’s first name somewhat and termed the lands of the New World “America”. 

In 1891 – Issac Murphy becomes the first jockey to win three Kentucky Derbys, winning aboard Kingman by a half-length over Balgowan at Churchill Downs. It was the last Derby win for Murphy, who had previously won the Derby in 1890 and 1884 and the time of 2 minutes, 52.25 seconds for the mile-and-a-half remains the slowest Derby ever. Murphy’s feat has since been accomplished several times and the record is now five by Eddie Arcaro and Bill Hartack. 

In 2006 – Rihanna is at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the first of three consecutive weeks with SOS. The song also went to #1 in Australia, peaked at #2 in Great Britain, at #1 on Billboard’s dance chart, and was their 9th-biggest song of the year. It was the third chart single for Rihanna and was the first of her eleven #1 songs. Originally from Barbados, Rihanna has been an ambassador extraordinary and plenipotentiary for her country since 2018, though she lacks a specific portfolio.  

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.

To do nothing…is an immense spiritual labor.
Gore Vidal
Creation

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

The major league record for most strikeouts by a pitcher in consecutive games is 34, by Dupee Shaw of the Boston Reds of the Union Association in 1884. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

What in the hell is an ambassador extraordinary and plenipotentiary? – Answer next time!

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The Daily Dose/May 12, 2022
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience. 

Leading Off is taking a break while we work on a project. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody – The weather has been dry the past few days. Today’s Diary.

We should be OK for Lawn Care Thursday (LCT) Thursday…The weather has been dry and Lord knows the lawn needs some attention; this will be one of the latest first mowings of the season since buying The Shire in 2014. 

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Click here to get in on the laughs.
4Ever & Ever ($8.99) and monthly ($2.99) plans available.

Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device. 

———

On This Date
History’s long march.  

In 1846 – Members of assorted families – known to History as the Donner Party – leave Independence, Missouri for California. The party ended up taking a detour from the established Oregon Trail and, combined with mishaps and misfortune, found themselves trapped by an early snowfall in the Sierra Nevada Mountains. Faced with starvation, members considered killing some members or holding a lottery to decide who dies for food, though evidence suggests they didn’t start eating humans until they started to die on their own. Of the 90 members that started out, 48 survived. 

In 2000 – Pedro Martinez of the Boston Red Sox ties the American League record for most strikeouts in consecutive games in a 9-0 victory over the Baltimore Orioles. Martinez struck out 15 batters, giving him 32 over his past two starts to tie the record established by Luis Tiant in 1968 and equaled several times since, including by Martinez the year before. The National League record is 33 by Kerry Wood of the Chicago Cubs in 1998. 

In 1984 – Julio Iglesias and Willie Nelson are at #1 on Billboard’s country chart – then known as the Hot Country Singles chart – for the first of two consecutive weeks with To All The Girls I’ve Loved Before. It was the first of two country hits for the duo and remains their only #1 song. The song also went #1 country in Canada and on pop charts in Canada and Belgium, peaked at #17 in Great Britain, and at #5 on the Hot 100. The song was written by Albert Hammond and Hal David. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.

…these imitators mock all things, including the true, using the mask of philosophy to disguise license and responsibility.
Gore Vidal
Julian

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

Billboard’s #1 song of 1974 was The Way We Were by Barbara Streisand, which spent three weeks at #1, 17 weeks in the Top 40, and 24 weeks on the Hot 100. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

Which pitcher holds the all-time major league record for most strikeouts in consecutive games? – Answer next time!

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