The Drivel You Need. The Name You Trust.

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———
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The Daily Dose/Tuesday, March 9, 2021

The Daily Dose/March 9, 2021
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience.

Leading Off will return.

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow gets the rare 4 am delivery at the hotel. Today’s Diary. 

I was about halfway thru my assigned task when – of all things, and with Movie of the Week timing – the Deluxe Dairy delivery guy comes in!!!…I am not making that up…He’s a pretty low-key guy, so trumpets didn’t herald his arrival, but the frozen pizza delivery guy showing up right when your stocking ice cream because you’re out of frozen pizzas is pretty good timing. 

He said he had two days worth of deliveries to make today and he’s getting an (awfully) early start and not only does he have two boxes of pizzas for us, but a box of ice cream as well. 

———

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It’s easy reading on any device. 

Columns, books, shopping lists, click here to get in on the laughs.
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———

On This Date
The long march to today. 

In 1842 – Six years before the California Gold Rush, gold is discovered in California, by Francisco Lopez, at Ranch San Francisco, a bit north of Los Angeles. The discovery – the first documented in California – produced a relatively minor gold rush, with an estimated 2,000 people converging on the area, and word of the discovery does not appear to have left Mexican territory.

In 1985 – Fat Lever of the Denver Nuggets establishes a new NBA record for most steals in a quarter in a 126-116 win over the Indiana Pacers. Lever had eight steals in the third quarter, breaking the record of seven established by Quinn Buckner of the Milwaukee Bucks on Nov 27, 1976, and Lever’s record still stands. Lever’s mark also tied the record for most steals in a half, done six times previously and a mark that was broken this past Thursday by T.J. McConnell of the Pacers, who had nine in the first half in a game against the Cleveland Cavaliers. 

In 1959- Frankie Avalon is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the first of five consecutive weeks with Venus. The song also went to #1 in Belgium, peaked at #16 in Great Britain, at #10 on Billboard’s soul chart and was Billboard’s fourth biggest song of the year. It was the fourth of 13 Top 40 hits for Avalon, his third of seven Top 10 hits and his first of two #1s (Why, one week, 1959). Avalon’s given name was Francis Thomas Avallone. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do.

Epictetus (50 AD – 135 AD)
Greek philosopher

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

The record for most weeks at #1 on Billboard’s Best Sellers in Stores chart is 13, done three times: Frenesi! (Artie Shaw, 1940-41), I’ve Heard That Song Before (Harry James, 1943) and Goodnight Irene (Gordon Jenkins and The Weavers, 1950). The chart ran from 1940-58. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard. 

Who holds the NBA record for most steals in a game? – Answer next time!

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The Diary of a Nobody/March 8

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The Daily Dose/Monday, March 8, 2021

The Daily Dose/March 8, 2021
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience.

USA! USA!: We’ve talked a lot – both here and the campaign trail – about how America is a fractured, partisan and bickering mess right now. It’s been that way for a while now, preceding Donald Trump, though he certainly exacerbated the problem. Partisan, fractured and bickering citizens have been led by a partisan, fractured and bickering government for a while now. 

Dry, Technical Matter: How did we get to this point? We blame TV, now in its third generation of being the focal point of American life and the disappearance of civil discourse is one of the prices we are paying. There was a time when civil discussion of matters was possible but that time in America has passed. Now, all we do is state positions and inform others when they are wrong.  

Broad, Historical Context: And it’s not so much that partisan networks and websites that don’t bother with impartiality ae the problem. A partisan media has been a staple of the American experience since the broadsides of pre-Revolutionary times. The problem is that is all we are getting. It is now possible for us to spoon-feed ourselves only what we want to read and hear. America is no longer interested in a differing viewpoint. 

The Bottom Line: Americans watch, on average, a bit more than five hours of TV a day and when we spend that much time watching things that only reinforce our own narrow view of the world, a partisan, bickering citizenry is going to be the result. There will come a time – perhaps before this half-century is out – when a divided America, aided and abetted by perpetual war and crushing debt, will collapse. Whether or not we do something about it is up to us.  

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody – It’s sold out at the hotel, though people still pester Sparrow for rooms. Today’s Diary. 

There were lots of people needing rooms tonight, hardly a surprise in ski season, even during the Virus Era…A couple came right as the bars were closing, clearly guys looking for a place to mate, and there were a couple of other calls and there was a rather poignant one at 0330…A lady about my age came in and rang the bell and boy, you could tell she was weary, with the haggard look of someone whose day on the road started in Quebec…

———

Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device. 

Columns, books, shopping lists, click here to get in on the laughs.
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———

On This Date
The long march to today. 

In 1817 – The New York Stock Exchange is formed in New York City, to provide restrictions on trading and for formal governance. The board would trade at assorted facilities in lower Manhattan until settling into its present location after the Civil War and its current building was built in 1903. New York stockbrokers had previously organized in 1792 under the Buttonwood Agreement. 

In 1954 – One night after playing in the only NBA game with 12-foot baskets, the Milwaukee Hawks play in the only doubleheader between the same teams in league history. Playing at home, the Hawks defeat the Baltimore Bullets 64-54 and 65-54 in games that were 40 minutes long. The Hawks would play in Indianapolis the following night and in Omaha two nights later, making it five games in four nights in four cities. The Hawks went 2-3 during the stretch. 

In 1952 – Johnnie Ray and the Four Lads are at #1 on Billboard’s Best Sellers in Stores chart – a predecessor to the Hot 100 – for the eleventh and final consecutive week with Cry. It was the first chart single for Ray and the first for the Four Lads and remains the only #1 song for both of them. The song has charted several other times, including a 1986 version by Crystal Gayle that went to #1 on Billboard’s country chart. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

The trouble with a situation like this was that a man had to keep going forward until there was no turning back.
Louis L’Amour
The Lonesome Gods

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

Asia’s self-titled album spent nine weeks at #1 and was Billboard’s biggest album of the year. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard. 

What is the record for most weeks at #1 on Billboard’s Best Sellers in Stores chart? – Answer next time!

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The Diary of a Nobody/March 7

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The Daily Dose/Sunday, March 7, 2021

The Daily Dose/March 7, 2021
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

The Sunday Bottom 5
A ranking of some things.

1. NBA Hey guys, when 4-on-2 breaks see teams pulling up to shoot a (probably missed) 3-pointer instead of taking the lay-up, your game blows…I’m sorry…Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters “pretty sure” when you get a turnover with numbers you’ve got to take the easy bucket.

2. President Joe Biden Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters remain “pretty sure” it’s “like, still really great and stuff” to have someone who is not a lying sexual predator who believes the moon is part of Mars in the White House, even if he the usual Democrat who wants to take care of everybody. 

3. Lauren DaigleMight as well just call it the Lauren Daigle #1 position now, as You Say still at top of Hot Christian Singles chart, now for the 119th non-consecutive week, a Billboard all-chart record…Envious Morman Tabernacle Choir, still looking to hit charts, reportedly putting finishing touches on rockabilly version of O! Holy Night to ready by holidays. 

4. COVID-19Could be on the way out, but it’s pretty resilient, so let’s not let our guard down just yet…While masks not required to read this column, Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters still wearing theirs just for funsies. 

5. Former President Trump Fact CheckHe’s baaaaack!!!..Click here for all the lies from his first speech since fleeing office…From the AP. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

Of course it’s Read Free Sunday at The Diary. Enjoy.

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow’s obliged to square away the sundry stand. Today’s Diary. 

The sundry stand was a complete fiasco…There’s a hockey team in-house so, of course, the sodas and ice cream was ransacked and while that’s fairly routine, the storage freezer in the back office was a complete mess…Recall Wednesday we provided a morning meal for our guests because the restaurant was closed and Brandon had gone and dropped over $600 on food.

A lot of it is still left…There are three one-gallon jugs of milk, all unopened, in the back office refrigerator plus enuff yogurt to feed a weekend yoga retreat and there are boxes of juice and milk in the back office coffee room (BOCR). 

———

Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device. 

Columns, books, shopping lists, click here to get in on the laughs.
4Ever & Ever ($8.99) and monthly ($2.99) plans available. 

———

On This Date
The long march to today. 

In 1914 – Albanian Prince William assumes the throne of the Principality of Albania, which was formed the previous year at the conclusion of the First Balkan War. William’s reign was marked by turbulence and revolt and even a coup attempt plot. William would flee the country in September and would serve in the German army in World War I and while he had hopes of regaining his throne, Williams’s reign ended when Albania was declared a republic in 1925. 

In 1954 – The Minneapolis Lakers defeat the Milwaukee Hawks 65-63 in the only NBA game ever played with baskets not 10-feet from the ground. Baskets for the game were 12-feet off the ground, an experiment amid complaints that big men had too easy a time scoring. Some sources cite this game as an exhibition, however the result counted in the standings. The Milwaukee Hawks later moved to St Louis and are now the Atlanta Hawks. 

In 1981 – REO Speedwagon is at #1 on the Billboard 200 album chart for the first of 15 non-consecutive weeks with Hi Infidelity. The album produced four Top 40 hits, including the Top 10 hits Take It on the Run (#5, two weeks) and Keep On Loving You (#1, one week). The album also went to #1 in Canada, peaked at #6 in Great Britain, was Billboard’s #1 album of 1981 and it’s 39th-biggest of 1982. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

The secret of happiness is action, the exercise of energy in a way suited to a man’s nature and circumstances.
Will Durant
The Story of Civilization, Vol. II: The Story of Greece

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

Glenallen Hill of the San Francisco Giants was the first National League player to appear as a designated hitter in a regular-season game, on June 12, 1997 against the Texas Rangers. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard. 

What was Billboard’s #1 album of 1982? – Answer next time!

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The Diary of a Nobody/March 7

It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Saturday, March 6
Assistant Front Desk Manage Q said Front Desk Manager Brandon would be in this afternoon and that Brandon was none too pleased with it…It seems Brandon was squabbling with the airline whose pilots and flight attendants stay with us in ski season about how many late checkouts they are entitled to…The airline says three and Brandon was trying to say no because we’re sold out Saturday night and housekeeping isn’t here that late, usually gone by 1300 or so. 

Continue reading

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The Daily Dose/Saturday, March 6, 2021

The Daily Dose/March 6, 2021
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience.

USA! USA!: This week Texas and Mississippi both announced they will be lifting their mandates requiring their residents to wear masks. The decisions are being met with the usual bickering we get about everything in America now.

Now Hear This: It’s important to note this is not an order not to wear a mask and go breathe on everyone, it is merely the removal of a government regulation to wear one, something a government doesn’t really have the right to do in the first place. 

Dry, Technical Matter: The fact we’ve tolerated our government mandating things like mask wearing and business closures is an interesting insight into our country. The America that once shed the yoke of British oppression is long gone. We comply now.

And You Wonder Why You Don’t Get Invited To More Paries: But this is hardly a bulletin. Subjects have been yielding to their rulers since time immemorial. It’s the way the world is built.

Get Your Official Daily Dose Policy Right Here: Please, wear a mask because we ain’t out of the COVID woods yet. It’s still a reasonable precaution to take and we will wear ours as long as we damn well please. 

The Bottom Line: Had America not been a partisan, fractured and bickering mess, we think it’s likely that a year ago America would have collectively decided that wearing masks was a reasonable precaution to take and while there is no way of knowing for sure, it’s possible the number of COVID deaths in America would be a tenth of what they are now. We all have blood on our hands. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow does not appear to be lusted after anymore. Today’s Diary. 

The big news at the hot springs is that for the second consecutive Friday those two old(er) ladies who have the hots for me stayed away from the hot spring I was in…I have some zero clue why…Maybe they’ve lost their ardor or maybe their grandchildren counseled them or something…I don’t know…All I know is I’m not complaining. 

———

Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device. 

Columns, books, shopping lists, click here to get in on the laughs.
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———

On This Date
The long march to today. 

In  662 – The Islamic prophet Muhammed makes his final sermon, on Mount Arafat, a bit east of Mecca. A variety of accounts of the sermon exist, with Muhammed talking about, among other things, the importance of Muslims following the teachings he had set forth in his writings, not following certain pre-Islamic customs and the ending of some blood feuds. Muhammed, then in his early 60s, would die in June. 

In 1973 – Lary Hisle of the Minnesota Twins becomes the first designated hitter in major league history, in a spring training game against the Pittsburgh Pirates, going 2-for-5, with two home runs and seven RBIs. The American League had adopted the DH, following its use in some minor leagues, though to this day the National League has, except for 2020, declined to do so. Hisle would appear in no games as a designated hitter during the 1973 regular season. 

In 1976 – The Miracles are at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the only week with Love Machine (Part 1). It was the 30th and final Top 40 hit for the group, their seventh and final Top 10 hit and their second and final #1 song (The Tears of a Clown, two weeks, 1970). The song also peaked at #3 in Great Britain and at #5 on Billboard’s soul chart. The distinctive growling at the start was sung by Miracle Bobby Rogers. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

‘Cause you ain’t done nothin’ new…Time you settled down and made de best of things de way de is…
Alex Haley
Roots: The Saga of an American Family

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

Winston Churchill was British prime minister for eight-and-a-half years, from May 1940 until July 1945 and then from October 1951 until April 1955. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard. 

Who was the first National League player to appear as a designated hitter in a regular-season game? – Answer next time!

Go Gaylon! Visit Gaylon on Facebook here.

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The Diary of a Nobody/March 5

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The Daily Dose/Friday, March 5, 2021

The Daily Dose/March 4, 2021
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience.

Leading Off called in sick. It will return.

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow doesn’t give the cabin its usual Thursday cleaning. Today’s Diary. 

The cabin didn’t even get even a Level I cleaning today, much less the Level II cleaning it needed last Thursday and desperately needs now…There were only a couple of dishes to wash and the catbox was cleaned but that was it…Too bad, too, because things starting to crunch when you walk in certain areas. 

———

Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device. 

Columns, books, shopping lists, click here to get in on the laughs.
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———

On This Date
The long march to today. 

In  1946 – British Prime Minister Winston Churchill uses the phrase “Iron Curtain” in a speech at Westminster College in Fulton, Missouri. Churchill was speaking about political affairs in Europe after World War II, specifically the separation between countries under Soviet influence and those not. Churchill is often credited with coining the term, however it had earlier been used by the Nazis in reference to the Soviet Union. 

In 1969 – Phil Esposito of the Boston Bruins establishes a new NHL record for most assists in a season in a 2-2 tie with the Detroit Red Wings. Esposito had two assists, giving him 63 on the season, breaking the record of 62 set by Stan Mikita of the Chicago Blackhawks in 1966-67. Esposito finished the season with 77 assists, a mark that has been topped many times and the single-season assist record is now 163, done by Wayne Gretzky in 1985-86. 

In 1966 – Barry Sadler, a staff sergeant in the United States Army, is at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the first of five consecutive weeks with Ballad of the Green Berets. It was the first chart single for Sadler and only a #28 hit later in the year prevented him from being an ultimate one-hit wonder, an act whose only chart single went to #1. The song also went to #1 in South Africa, peaked at #24 in Great Britain, at #2 on Billboard’s country chart and was Billboard’s #1 song of the year. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

Fortune had betrayed him for the moment, and the world had turned against him. Victory was slipping from his grasp even as he stretched out his hand to seize it. But his arm was long.
J.R.R. Tolkien
The Lord of the Rings

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

Wayne Gretzky had 137 points in his first NHL season in 1979-80. However, he had spent the previous season in the World Hockey Association and was not considered a rookie. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard. 

For how many years did Winston Churchill serve as British prime minister? – Answer next time!

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The Diary of a Nobody/March 6

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