The Daily Dose – February , 2017
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
WE GIVE UP: We tried. We tried to write every couple of days about the Trump Administration, but we couldn’t keep up.
On the one hand, sort of like Watergate, President Trump – President Trump! – has been a boon for us funny writers. From border walls to Frederick Douglass still being alive to the Bowling Green Massacre to ridiculing federal judges to whatever fiasco makes news today, there is a lot of raw materials to work with.
We All Have Our Memories: Trump believing Frederick Douglass was still alive is our personal favorite and we refuse to believe there aren’t some Trump staffers who privately believe Douglass instigated the Bowling Green Massacre.
Back On Message: So we’re throwing in the towel on writing about the day-in, day-out shenanigans of the Trump Administration.
The Big Picture: Instead, let’s take a big-picture look at what President Trump – President Trump – will mean for our country during his term.
Gaylon For Congress, Vote Early, Vote Often: We’ve said this before while running for both the US Senate and US House:
This nation will collapse before this half-century is out if we do not make substantive changes to the way we are governed.
There are a couple of factors that will destroy us.
One, we must have an America at peace. We have been at war every day since 1989 and no nation can sustain perpetual warfare.
Two, America is functionally broke. We are $20 trillion in debt, with an economy anchored in high taxes and excessive regulation. This nation will not flourish financially until we have an economy anchored in low taxes and free markets.
The Bottom Line: President Trump – President Trump – has given no indication he is going to do anything to stem either of these tides and the next four years will be spent marking time, not making any substantive progress. America will be four years closer to being tossed aside the scrap heap of history because last November we collectively declined to make substantive changes to the way we are governed. As usual, we had our chance at the ballot box but we just reaffirmed the status quo, electing as president a man whose only real talent is drawing attention to himself.
USA! USA!: The American flag is formally recognized by a foreign navy for the first time when the French fleet issues a nine gun salute to the USS Ranger off the coast of southern France on this date in 1778.
The Ranger was commanded by John Paul Jones and had been dispatched to France to inform US envoy Benjamin Franklin of the American victory over the British at Saratoga.
The Race To Live Down The Ages: Alexander Graham Bell and Elisha Gray both file paperwork to patent the telephone on this date in 1876.
Dry, Technical Matter: Bell filed an actual patent application, while Gray filed a caveat, which was a notice of intent to file an application at a later date.
FunFact: Patent caveats were done away with in 1910.
Back On Message: A complete examination of this episode is, thankfully, beyond the scope of this column. Gray, however, declined to follow through on his caveat, though this didn’t stop him from challenging Bell’s patent in court. Gray lost these battles, however, and History records Bell as the inventor of the telephone.
Diesel Boats Forever: The US Navy commissions its first two diesel submarines on this date in 1912. Previous American submarines had utilized gasoline engines. The USS E-1 and E-2 would primarily be used for tactics and equipment evaluation and both were decommissioned in 1920.
Dry, Technical Matter: The diesel boat era would last until October 30, 1990 when the USS Blueback (SS-581) was decommissioned.
A Warm, Personal Remembrance: We served on the Blueback. In memory of that, we still refuse to wash our coffee cup.
Thought For The Day: You yourselves have made these men great by giving them your support and that is why you have fallen into evil slavery. For you look to the tongue and the words of a crafty man, and you do not see the deed which is being done.– Gore Vidal, Creation
Answer To The Last Trivia Question: The International League, founded in 1884, is the second oldest professional baseball league in the United States.
Today’s Stumper: The Trivia feature will return. Be cool.