The Diary of a Nobody – Sunday, May 13, 2018

Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Sunday, May 13
Almost screwed up the waffle batter at Hotel A this morning…Janis had washed all dishes associated with our complimentary breakfast and that included the batter dispenser, so it needed a fresh batch…Usually, it isn’t as hard to make as I made it today.

You might think your friendly night auditor and the mid-range hotel you’re staying at slaves over this all night, cracking eggs, milking the cow and mixing it all with freshly milled flour…You would be wrong…We’ve got a big plastic bucket with a black line about a third of the way up and you fill water up to the line (It’s a big line, too, and there is a raging debate about whether you fill it to the bottom of the line or the top…I mostly avoid this argument – which might well be covered at Wednesday’s mandatory meeting I will miss – and I tend to end up about halfway between the top and the bottom) then you toss in the mix…Then you stir it up.

Usually…Today like a dolt I put the mix in first not for the first time by the by…This is a pain in the neck because then you’ve got to reckon the correct amount of water to put in…I could have tossed the mix, I suppose and started over but I didn’t want to be wasteful…This is all trial and error, of course, and regular readers of this crap know I do this at The Shire making hotcakes and I am usually bad enough getting the ratios right that we end up with enough pancake batter to feed the fleet…I took some care, tho, and I think I made a decent batch of waffle batter for our guests.

I could not find the cat when I got home this morning!!!…Usually, she meets me at the door and leads the way to my desk, where I put my stuff, but today nothing…She didn’t appear when I called her name and wasn’t on the cushions on the kitchen chair and wasn’t on the bed…I wanted to pet her and give her tummy rubs before I went to bed, so I cheated and tapped a can of her yummies against the side of her bowl the universal sign she is about to be fed…This, of course, had her trotting out of the bedroom in short order…She must have been under the bed.

Went back to the retailer’s donut shop knock-off coffee today, too…Their breakfast blend, which you might recall I got on the day trip with The Wife three weeks ago because they don’t sell it here, is almost done…There’s still a couple of pots left in it, but I like to plan ahead.

I am committed to having a better lawn then we did last year here at The Shire…As noted, we had a rather wet spring and the grass has been a deep green, but it’s already starting to brown, or at least be less dark green, especially in the area on the side that runs parallel to the kitchen window…It’s on the east side of The Shire and gets an awful lot of sun and isn’t shaded besides, so I gave it a good soaking before leaving for the retailer…This will also benefit the robins that are in residence, giving them some worms to choose from for their dinner tonight.

Speaking of the robins, their eggs hatched this evening!!!…I am not making that up!!!…The Wife texted me pics at while I was at the retailer tonight…Three were hatched and the head of the fourth one was starting to poke its head through.

Very slow at the retailer tonight…There was a five minute period where I was the only one up front, for the service desk, a register and self-checkout, but there weren’t any customers so we got away with it until Senegal Sam and Jacki came back from their breaks…Connie stopped by the service desk on her way out and, again, she declined to comment on who sent her the flowers she was spotted with yesterday…I probably could have come with another funny line, but we were the only ones there so I didn’t have an audience, so why bother???

Sparrow’s Sleep Log: 0830 Sunday until 1530 Sunday…Seven hours, not too bad but I am running a sleep deficiency right now…A slight one, but one nonetheless…It’s plain because one, I was obliged to wake up to the alarm clock this afternoon and, two, I slept so soundly I didn’t wake up to use the can at all and when I did wake up, I almost wet my pants walking the five steps to the bathroom.

The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence.

The Diary of a Nobody was inspired by the 19th century British novel of the same name.

Read Gaylon’s latest: We The People: Making America America Again at www.GaylonKent.com

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