The Sunday Bottom Ten #16 – May 13, 2018
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
Let’s not waste any time:
1. United States/North Korea Summit
Mitigating Factors: After bickering at each other for most of the past two (2) years, two (2) attention-starved world leaders to gather in Singapore for first-ever meeting between US, North Korean leaders…Exactly why the president of the United States needs to meet with a third-rate dictator still isn’t clear, though perhaps President Trump looking for information on state labor camps.
FunFact: Sunday B-10 pollsters “pretty sure” summit a good idea, if for no other reason than to keep these two man-children occupied for a couple of days.
2. Kelly Sadler
Mitigating Factors: Only real surprise about Sadler, a White House aide, saying Senator John McCain is “dying anyway” is that it came from her and not the president himself…Rumors flying Trump furious remark wasn’t brought to him for approval first, so he could claim it as his own and tweet it.
FunFact: Discretion, and the brains that accompany it, are fast fleeing this country…There was a time when White House staffers would have had the brains not to say this, and a time when co-workers would have kept it to themselves.
3. Gaylon For Congress
Mitigating Factors: Internet now subject to live Facebook videos for half-witted Libertarian candidate from Colorado’s 3rd District, though technologically challenged campaign still unable to take live questions from voters…Latest ebook We The People: Making America America Again still not on best-seller list, despite fact complimentary sample can be read at http://gaylonkent.com/
FunFact: America has two (2) options this Election Day: she can reelect the same maniacs who have given us a generation of partisan, bickering government, or they can demand better.
Mitigating Factors: Research from site we’ve used for years can be found in later entry…Current US national debt as we write this is $21,150,651,774,332… US median income – the spot where half of people make more and half make less – is $30,901, about where it’s been, adjusted for inflation, for years…Other tidbits include a median world income of $3,110 and 40,202,357 Americans – about 12 percent – receiving food stamps.
FunFact: Sunday B-10 pollsters utterly flummoxed over fact that world economy hasn’t completely collapsed as all but five (5) nations on this planet carry a national debt.
5. Nevada Execution
Mitigating Factors: Nevada Supreme Court authorizes execution by an untested injection protocol for man who actually wants to die…Method not authorized to kill dogs, but OK for humans…Court also authorizes double-down on pair of eights held by bailiff in blackjack duel with expert witness, defense attorney.
FunFact: Sunday B-10 pollsters “pretty sure” America has executed innocent people and feel the death penalty should be abolished for that reason alone, but if we are going execute people, and someone wants their sentence carried out, we should let that happen…It’s his sentence.
6. Iran Nuclear Deal
Mitigating Factors: Sure, re-imposing sanctions against Iran while lifting agreed upon limits on their nuclear programs seems like great fun, but US backing out of deal will only be deemed a success if Iran and Israel start World War III and companies forced to change their business plans go broke and have to lay off workers.
FunFact: European signatories to the deal valiantly trying to save it as businesses the world over stand to lose billions of dollars with the return of Iranian sanctions.
7. NBA Coaching Firings
Mitigating Factors: There was a time when winning four (4) division titles in five (5) years, not to mention having the best record in your conference, would ensure some job security but not in Toronto, who fired Dwayne Casey more or less because LeBron James plays for Cleveland…Story actually minor detail in Toronto, where attention is focused on whether Maple Leafs new child GM will shave before team wins Stanley Cup again.
Write This Down: Not every team can win the title every year…In fact, in the past 30 years, only ten (10) teams have won the NBA championship (Los Angeles Lakers, Detroit, Chicago, Houston, San Antonio, Miami, Boston, Dallas, Golden State, Cleveland) and one of those teams will win it again this year.
8. St Peter’s Peacocks (0-39)
Mitigating Factors: Peacocks continue to strut Sunday B-10 stuff holding on to Sunday Continental Cup – issued to college baseball team with longest all-division losing streak in NATO – with 78th straight loss…Usual 15-2 drubbing Saturday ensures Peacocks better 2017 0-38 mark…Recent hitting spurt good enough to ensure Peacock’s team batting average now above magic .200 mark, which is still bad enough to rank Dead Last in NCAA.
All The Marbles: Key week for Peacocks, who need to lose remaining five (5) games to ensure second consecutive losing season.
9. US Drone Strikes
Mitigating Factors: Sunday B-10 pollsters – not for the first time – left scratching their heads as calculated drone strike figures for this week actually less than last week’s, leading to basic math lessons, beatings at Sunday B-10 headquarters…Still, tho, Pentagon staffers beaming, at totals of 75 drone strikes and 293 deaths so far in 2018 – with only an annoying few civilians and children.
FunFact: No matter the number, drone strikes are acts of war against sovereign nations the United States Congress has not declared war against, despite the fact Constitution, US, version 1.0 gives them this power exclusively.
Source: Bureau of Investigative Journalism
10. American Electorate
Mitigating Factors: All right, we’ve had our fun, electing Donald Trump…He has not and will not change a thing: America has still been at war continuously since 1989, with only prospect being more war…Also we are still $21 trillion (T) in debt, a debt what increased a half-million dollars in the few seconds it took you to read this line.
Gaylon For Congress…Vote Early, Vote Often: We’re not worry-warts or conspiracy theorists here, but fellow citizens, our nation will be tossed aside the scrap heap of history, probably before this half-century is out, if you and me – we the people – do not make substantive changes to the way we governed…Might as well get to work this November.
Thought for the Week: It is more important to know where you are going than to get there quickly. Do not mistake activity for achievement. – Mabel Newcomber
The Sunday Bottom Ten is based on the football Bottom Ten columns Gaylon writes during football season. It runs on Sundays.