The Diary of a Nobody 2/20/17 – Drivel From Sparrow!

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Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Monday, February 20
Jacki, the girl who had a seizure and collapsed in aisle three yesterday was back today, evidently cleared for return to duty…She said she has epilepsy and needs to have her medication dosage altered…She added she got four stitches in her head, too…Jacki mentioned that I had called 9-1-1 and I said I was surprised she remembered that and she admitted she didn’t, The Wife had told her, adding the last thing she remembered was ringing up a sale then everything going blank.

I had to write a statement, too…There was an official form for this any everything, and I made sure to take my time because my penmanship is usually lousy and it turned out pretty readable.

I did the statement about halfway thru my shift…After I was done it was almost time for my break…I plan was to go upstairs and sit down for a while, but then I realized I left my water bottle at the check stand…Crap, the classic working man’s conundrum: sliddle upstairs and milk the break for a while or go and get my water bottle, letting everyone know when I’m leaving…Since writing the statement could take any length of time, going on break afterward without telling anyone could result in a nice, long break for Sparrow.

But I was thirsty, and I’m not a milker besides, so I went and got my water bottle and announced I was going to take a break…I was back at aisle two at a normal time.

When I got aisle two to begin my shift the first thing I did, even before turning on the light that heralded the lane was open, was clean the conveyor belt…I’ve been doing this for the past couple of weeks because I like having a clean conveyor belt because who knows what crap has accumulated there during the day.

The Wife and Patty, a service manager and a nice lady, happened to be walking by…Me applying cleaner to something, followed by wiping the cleaner off, caught her by surprise.

My God, look Patty, he’s actually cleaning something!!!

Patty put a hand to her mouth and made a sound, feigning surprise…To further cement my commitment to cleanliness, I made a show of dusting the area, too.

Took the day off from the resort…Sometimes you just need a three-dayer.

The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence.

It was inspired by the 19th-century British novel of the same name.

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