The Diary of a Nobody 12/21/16 – Drivel From Sparrow

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Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Wednesday, December 21
Had my best workout in months today.

One of the nice things about the new workout supplement is it really helps with recovery and I can workout on consecutive days and be equally strong both days…I actually did a max workout today, my first in months…All I could be bothered to do lately was normal workouts.

Both consist of three sets of ten exercises…The first set is light, something you could do 15-18 times, the second is a bit heavier, something you could do 12 times and the third set number ten is failure – the last rep you can do with proper form…This is a great way to get some mass…A normal workout consists of one exercise per body part and a max workout is two exercises per body part and I was moving some really good weight.

I almost didn’t get there in time…I signed for some extra shifts at the retailer this week and I coulda sworn today’s started at noon.

Wrong-o…I checked my profile at the retailer’s employee website and it said 11am…Crap…I had planned on noon and while I was able to spend the hour required for a max workout I did not have time for my customary post-workout soak in the hot springs…If this is my biggest problem this week I’m doing all right.

The big news is Her Majesty is sickies…She had been coming down with something the past couple of days and woke up this morning with really sore throat…The Wife, of course, was completely in her element, caring for her sick daughter…Of course, she’d prefer her daughter not be sick – we all would – but I could tell she was secretly enjoying taking her to the doctor and dispensint some TLC.

The Wife also said I’d done good on the prime rib….She got her first good look at it this morning and she noted, but did not complain, about the price, about $85 bucks or so for a bit more than seven -and-a-half pounds…

The downside to the holiday at the retailer is there is glitter everywhere…There are gift bags that have glitter, cards that have glitter and some other things, too…Glitter is all over the conveyer belt and I even got some on my face today…Some of the old-timers said it doesn’t really go away until well after the first of the year.

I had just finished checking this one lady out when she dropped something…She was kinda holding things up while she leaned down to pick it up and I asked if she was squared away…She said she was, got her stuff and left.

The guy who was behind her then asked what branch of the service I was in…I told I was on an old diesel submarine in the navy…I always add “navy” after “diesel submarine”, as if the Air Force or Marines have submarines…Then I wondered how he knew I was in the service…It wasn’t as if I was wearing my dress blues or anything.

Squared away…You said squared away…Only people who’ve been in the service say that.

I chuckled…He was right, of course and he said he’d been in the army.

I just hope the Senegal mafia doesn’t have a contract out on me…Alia was on Aisle 5 a bit before 4pm, his scheduled quitting time, and he comes over to me and says I am relieving him…OK…I take care of the couple customers in my line then I go and get a supervisor to open my drawer because I had some quarters that needed to be put in and we can’t open our drawers without a transaction…I got to Aisle 5 to relieve Alia at 4pm and ten seconds…He was already walking away, holding his hands out and looking at me like I had killed his yak or committed some other grave crime.

Call me an Aisle 5 purist, but you’re not supposed to leave it unattended, even for a few seconds…I didn’t point that out tho…He really looked pissed and I’m glad he doesn’t know what kind of car I drive.

Whores go to the wharf when the fleet is in, and I picked up some extra shifts Thursday and Friday, too…It will make for a long week, but I am not scheduled my usual Saturday, Sunday and Monday shifts, so it all evens out.

The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence.

It was inspired by the 19th-century British novel of the same name.

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