Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…
Thursday, October 13
I was back in the papers today…OpEd pieces all three of us Congressional candidates wrote for the local paper appeared today…Mine was on the left column, too, prime real estate if you ask me…Like two years ago during my United States Senate campaign, I brought a couple-three copies to keep in the safe…The headline completely ruled, too: Sparrow: Leading The Charge For Change.
I wrote about empowerment, about how we will always get the government we elect and how nothing is going to change unless we demand it at the ballot box…I did talk a bit about minor crap like low taxes and free markets and not convicting the innocent, but mainly my message was about we the people grabbing the bull by the horns and no longer accepting the status quo.
This will, of course, mainly fall on deaf ears…I’ve learned the biggest battle I am fighting is against human nature because us humans love sticking with the familiar even when it is not serving us well.
Work was really easy today as I was able to spend the entire shift in the side office attending to vital supervisorial duties…I didn’t think that was going to be the case, either, because I was unable to correctly read the schedule…Here’s the deal:
I reported for duty at 5am because Gabriel is on vacation and all I could see was Desiree coming in at 10…All right…A little before 7am, however, I’m getting ready move my base from the side office to the front desk when Daniella sashays in…Fabulous…We’re not that busy today and I can go back to farting around in the side office.
It got better, too, because not only did Desiree come in at 10 but so did the new girl Leah…So actually we were overstaffed…So overstaffed that I dispatched Desiree to the PBX station to learn from Ariel.
Not only is Gabriel on vacation, he took the official Front Desk keys with him to El Paso and other points south…I have no idea why…Maybe he thought they were some sort of hotel master key that would get him in any hotel room on the planet…Maybe it was an accident…I don’t know…All I know is this morning I went to check the key out of Keywatcher and it said Key 15 was checked out to Gabriel…This blew because I wasn’t checking out the front desk keys for my health…I actually needed them, but it was a simple matter to have Araceli make us another one.
After work I went to the retailer to buy some razor blades and aftershave but, not the first time, I couldn’t remember what goddamned replacement blades my razor took…This happens all the time…I could swear they’re Mach 3’s but nothing looked familiar, despite having used this razor for years.
Then I went and got an oil change…The guy was really friendly and had no trouble selling me a half-off car wash…The car wash there isn’t all that great and only produces a decently clean car if you’d had your car hand detailed earlier in the day, but it’s lousy touchless washing system would at least get the worst of the filth off and there was no shortage of filth because it hadn’t been washed in a while.
As a wise man I used to know once said:
Keep expectations low and no one will be too disappointed.
So I was neither disappointed nor surprised when the big blow dryer neither lasted too long nor dried the sides of my car…It was also as if the washer had sprayed mud on the back, but the hood looks good, and it was half-off, but a half-off pile of dung is still a pile of dung, so who the hell knows.
The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either made up or are used fictitiously. Any other use is a coincidence.
It was inspired by the 19th century British novel of the same name.