The Daily Dose/January 10, 2024
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience. 

TEN HUT!: You know, we expect our government to lie to us. It’s the way the world is built and has been as long as some have been ruling others. But Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin’s refusal to tell the White House he was going in for surgery and was hospitalized is enexcusable, even by current standards. 

Dry, Technical Matter: It turns out Austin was diagnosed with prostate cancer in early December and had surgery for it on Dec 22. The White House is informed of none of this, though some power is transferred to subordinates. Daniels is soon discharged and works from home until New Year’s Day, when he is hospitalized with what turned out to be an infection stemming from the surgery. Senior Defense Department staff is notified, however, the White House is still left in the dark. The media is notified on Jan 4 and Congress on Jan 5. The White House says President Biden was informed on Jan 9. 

Get Your Notebooks Out, Class Is In Session: This is another example of our government giving a clinic in screwing things up. Now, you can not notify a lot of people here, but to keep the president in the dark is wrong, almost beyond comprehension.

What should’ve happened is Daniel’s hospitalization should’ve been reported to the president. Heck, Daniel’s should’ve reported the first time he had so much as dandruff. Following reports should’ve been made regularly and had they been, we’d be writing about something else right now. And if Austin cited privacy reasons in not disclosing what he had, fair enough, that would’ve been his prerogative. 

The Bottom Line: We get the government we deserve. While there was an initial outcry, America collectively does not have the attention span to get too worked up over this and nobody is making too big a fuss over this anymore. We should, thugh. Our government was derelict in its duties, and we are entitled to know what is being done to ensure this does not happen again. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow reports some progress in the gym. Today’s Diary. 

The big news is both bench pressing and tricep cable pulldowns were done pain-free and without the sleeve…

The Bottom Ten/Preseason Q&A – It’s all over: it’s time to issue The Dan Henning Trophy – symbolic of NFL Bottom Ten heroics. 

Lack of talent key, of course, but effects of meddling, know-it-all owner cannot be underestimated…

Vikings keep fan(s) on edge of seat with classic Jekyll & Hyde second half, as season-ending four (4)-game losing skid kept them in both B-10 medal stand hunt, NFL playoff contention until final week. 

Jaguars ranked as humanitarian gesture, to prevent owner Genghis Khan from executing coaching staff for not winning another B-10 title…

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On This Date
Extra, extra, read all about it. 

In 49 BC – Caesar’s Civil War begins when Julius Caesar, commanding the 13th Legion and fresh of several military victories, crosses the Rubicon River in northeastern Italy under arms, considered an act of war by Rome. History is unclear on whether Caesar said the famous line “the die is cast” and ‘crossing the Rubicon’ remains in our vernacular today, describing the crossing an element of demarcation from which there is no going back. Caesar’s Civil War would last four years, result in his victory, and eventually lead to the formation of the Roman Empire. 

In 1982 – The Cincinnati Bengals win the AFC championship, defeating the San Diego Chargers 27-7 in the coldest game in NFL history in terms of wind chill factor. The emperature was -9°F with winds 27 mph making the temperature feel like -59°F. The week before the Chargers had played in 88°F temperatures in Miami, making the temperature difference between the two games 147°F. The Bengals lost Super Bowl XVI to San Francisco 26-21. 

In 1953 – Don’t Let the Stars Get in Your Eyes is at #1 on two Billboard charts. A version by Perry Como is at #1 on the pop Best Seller in Stores chart for the first of five consecutive weeks and a version by Skeets McDonald is at #1 on the country Most Played in Juke Boxes chart for the third and final week. The song was written by Slim Willet, whose own version had topped Billboard’s country Most Played by Jockeys chart in December. This remains the only time in Billboard chart history when the same song by different artists simultaneously topped separate Billboard singles charts.

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.

I almost never think of my calendar years. I’m forever hiking across the same plateau with no end in sight.
Saul Bellow
Ravelstein

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

The term “antarctica” was coined by Marinus of Tyre in the 2nd century AD, about 16 centuries before it was sighted. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

What is the Cincinnati Bengals record in the AFC Championship Game? – Answer next time!

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The Bottom Ten/NFL Week 19
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™ 

It’s all over. Every false start, every blown coverage, every clutch loss. 

And while not the closest race for the most coveted trophy in sports – The Dan Henning Trophy, symbolic of NFL Bottom Ten supremacy – the Washington Commanders certainly gave it an honorable go with a heroic season-ending losing streak. 

But it’s all hail the Carolina Panthers, of course, who earn top B-10 honors by becoming only the third NFL team this century to lose at least 15 (15) games.

This week’s mess, as the nags limp across the finish line: 

1. Carolina Panthers (2-15; lost to Tampa Bay 9-0) – Panthers win first-ever B-10 title following 3rd-straight loss and 2nd-consecutive shutout…Lack of talent key, of course, but effects of meddling, know-it-all owner cannot be underestimated. 

2. Washington Commanders (4-13; lost to Dallas 38-10) – Commanders take runner-up spot despite Week 1 over Cardinals thanks to season-ending eight (8)-game losing streak…Commanders’ fan(s) left wondering what might have been had team lost first two (2) games instead of winning them.  

3. New England Patriots (4-13; lost to New York Jets 17-3) – Patriots give six (6)-time Super Bowl winning coach first-ever B-10 medal stand finish with loss to hapless Jets, hoping to end all talk of Bill Belichick being unable to lose big one. 

4. Arizona Cardinals (4-13; lost to Seattle 21-20) – Cardinals fan(s) left to wonder what might have been as despite clutch, last-second missed field goal, two (2) wins in last five (5) games knock them out of B-10 medal stand.  

5. Los Angeles Chargers (5-12; lost to Kansas City 13-12) – While preseason playoff hopes quashed early enough, bad-but-not-bad-enough Chargers ride two (2) tragic, B-10 title hope depleting two (2)-game winning streaks to middling B-10 finish. 

6. NFC South (0-0; lost to) – Though first-place teams – somehow – managed to finish with winning records, NFC South still easy pick for coveted, annual Pete Rozelle Award, issued to league’s worst division.  

7. Minnesota Vikings (7-10; lost to Detroit 30-20) – Vikings keep fan(s) on edge of seat with classic Jekyll & Hyde second half, as season-ending four (4)-game losing skid kept them in both B-10 medal stand hunt, NFL playoff contention until final week.  

8. Tennessee Titans (6-11; defeated Jacksonville 28-20) – Another team that needs to look itself in mirror this offseason, as previous, multiple, B-10 champions were unable to rattle off losing streak of more than three (3) games, which they know as well as anybody is key to B-10 glory. 

9. Jacksonville Jaguars (9-8; lost to Tennessee 28-20) – Jaguars ranked as humanitarian gesture, to prevent owner Genghis Khan from executing coaching staff for not winning another B-10 title, though Jaguars finish strong, losing five (5) of last six (6). 

10. Bottom Ten Fans – B-10 pollsters “pretty sure” they’ll keep writing this crap as long as you keep reading it…It’s said every year because it’s true: if you enjoy reading this half as much as we enjoy producing it, you’re enjoying it an awful lot…We’’ll see you in 233 days, when we all gather for The Bottom Ten/2024 Preseason Q&A. 

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The Daily Dose/January 9, 2024
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience. 

HUT, HUT, HIKE: College football ended Monday night, with Michigan handily defeating Washington 34-13 to win the College Football Playoff (CFP). The system came under deserved criticism, but it’s hard to argue the two best teams made the title game. 

By The By: Next year the CFP evolves into a 12-team tournament, when it’s expected the screwing of the 13th-ranked team won’t be as loud. Those keeping score at home will note this means eight fewer teams for the already diluted and increasingly meaningless bowl games. How meaningless? Several dozen players, including 25 Florida State Seminoles, deemed their bowl game to be so important they chose not to play in it. This made meaningless exhibition games even more meaningless exhibition games featuring no small number of second-string players. 

Dry Technical Matter: While doing its duty and making everyone money, the bowl season could use some help and we have some ideas.

Leading Off: First, play the national championship game on New Year’s Day because there is no reason for college football season to last later than either January 1 or Monday, January 2. This would go a long way to making their constant money grabs – like UCLA and Rutgers now being a conference game – more palatable.

Listen Up: And please, cut the number of bowls to 25. To start, get rid of cold-weather bowls and all bowls played in baseball stadiums. Then any bowl this season that featured two 6-6 teams can muster out. And while we can’t make players play, we can pay them for suiting up and the NCAA can forbid transfers until after the season is over.  

The Bottom Line: College football is in a box because everyone concerned – players, coaches, conferences, schools, networks – are in this solely to make as much money as possible. There is no common purpose, except to strafe the marketplace for as much money as they can. Ending the season on New Year’s Day and revamping the remaining bowls will go a long way to changing bowl season from interminable to somewhat tolerable. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow’s back in the lottery racket. Today’s Diary. 

Our two-week run playing the lucky numbers yielded us $13 in winnings and we combined that with some loose cash to play today…

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Click here. It’s only $24.99.

Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device. 

———

On This Date
Extra, extra, read all about it. 

In 1909 – Edward Shackelton, leading an expedition to the South Pole, plants the British flag 97 nautical miles (about 111 statute miles) away from the pole, the farthest south yet attained by humans. The expedition was not well-financed and was obliged to turn around, with man not reaching the South Pole until 1911 when an expedition led by Norwegian Roald Amundsen reached it. 

In 1977 – Roscoe Tanner of the US wins the Australian Open, defeating Guillermo Vilas of Argentina 6-3, 6-3, 6-3. It remains the only Grand Slam title for Tanner, who also reached the finals of Wimbledon in 1979, where he lost to Bjorn Borg. It remains the only loss in a Grand Slam final for Vilas, who would win the next two Australian Opens, as well as French and US open tiles later in the year. It was the first Australian Open men’s singles final since 1912 not to feature an Australian player. 

In 1993 – Whitney Houston is at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for seventh of a Hot 100 record 14 consecutive weeks with I Will Always Love You. The song went to #1 in 20 other countries, including Panama, Norway, and Great Britain, was in its sixth of eleven consecutive weeks at #1 on Billboard’s soul chart, and was Billboard’s #1 song of the year and its 7th-biggest of the decade. It was the tenth of 13 #1 songs for Houston. The song broke the record of 13 consecutive weeks established by End of the Road by Bouz II Men in 1992 and the record is now 19 weeks by Lil Nas X and Billy Ray Cyrus with Old Town Road in 2019.

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.

Clarity and stillness set everything right.
Lao Tzu
The Tao Te Ching, #45

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

Jimmy Carter was the last president to provide a written State of the Union message to Congress, doing so in 1981. At 33,667 words, it remains the longest in history. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

Who coined the term Antarctica? – Answer next time!

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The Daily Dose/January 8, 2024
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience. 

 Leading Off will return.

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow is offered a bribe to open the hot tub. Today’s Diary. 

She whines about this a little before pointing at the blonde sitting at the table. 
“How about if she flashes you???…Would you open it for us then???”

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Would you like 4Ever & Ever access to Gaylon’s crap?
Of course you would.
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Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device. 

———

On This Date
Extra, extra, read all about it. 

In 1790 – President George Washington delivers the first State of the Union address, in the Senate chamber of Federal Hall in New York City. Congress generally reacted favorably to Washington’s recommendations, soon producing patent and copyright legislation, but declined to form a national university. It remains the shortest State of the Union address, at 1,089 words. The original hall Federal Hall was demolished in 1812 and the current  building – originally a customs house – opened in 1842. 

In 1945 – The Kentucky Wildcats establish a new NCAA record for fewest points allowed in a game in a 75-6 win over Arkansas State. Research into whose record was broken was inconclusive and the mark was tied in December 1973 when Tennessee defeated Temple 11-6. The NCAA all-division record is 4, done twice in Division II.

In 1977 – Marilyn McCoo and Billy Davis, Jr are at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the only week with You Don’t Have To Be a Star (To Be In My Show). The song also went to #1 in Canada and on Billboard’s soul chart, and peaked at #7 in Great Britain. The song also won the Grammy Award for Best Vocal R&B Performance by a Duo or Group. It was the first of two Top 40 hits for the husband and wife duo and remains their only #1 song; the duo also hit #1 twice as members of the 5th Dimension. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.

Peter simply approached religion like he approached everything else: What seemed reasonable? What was practical? What worked best?
Robert K Massie
Peter the Great

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

The NHL record for the longest winless streak is 30 games by the 1980-81 Winnpieg Jets. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

Who was the last president to provide a written State of the Union message to Congress? – Answer next time!

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The Daily Dose/January 7, 2024
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™

Friends, The Daily Dose will return.

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

It’s Read Free Sunday (RFS) at The Diary. 

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow is grateful for the knife. Today’s Diary. 

It was a hero tonite, what with two creamer boxes and fresh box of French roast coffee packets needing to be opened. 

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The Daily Dose/January 6, 2024
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience. 

CAPSULE BOOK REVIEW: Son of Holmes by John Lescroart: There is an element of art known as pastiche, which is a work that imitates the work of another and, as you might expect, Son of Holmes is about the son of fiction’s most famous detective, Sherlock Holmes. And while we’ve read Holmes – all of it – years ago, this wasn’t why we picked up the book. 

Dry, Technical, Matter: Fans of the mystery genre know that Sherlock Holmes has long been suspected of being the father of another famous fictional detective, Nero Wolfe. (This is never mentioned in a Wolfe novel, though Wolfe keeps a picture of Holmes in his office.) We’ve been Wolfe fans for ages and picked up the book to see how Wolfe was portrayed. 

For The Record: The answer is brilliantly, with mannerisms and traits Wolfe fans will immediately recognize and appreciate. As this was our reason for reading the book, we didn’t even notice any similarities to Holmes. 

FunFact: Wolfe is known as Auguste Lupa in the book. Lupa is Italian for wolf. 

Please Pass The Dry, Technical Matter: The setting is France in 1915. World War I has just started and Lupa is spying for the Allies. Someone gets murdered and Lupa solves the case, which isn’t easy because the dumb-dumb constables have tabbed him the prime suspect.  

Fly In The Ointment: There is one glaring discrepancy: Lescroart has Lupa born in America and moving to Europe shortly after birth. Wolfe was born in Montenegro and is a naturalized US citizen. It is, however, believable that Wolfe was spying for the Allies in World War I. 

Ladies And Gentlemen: Your Daily Dose Rating Scale: 1 – The very best; 2 – Very good; 3- Good; 4- OK; 5- A steaming pile.

Final Rating: 3: This is an objective rating. If it weren’t, we would have given it a 1 because of our long fandom of and affection for Nero Wolfe stories. This wasn’t the greatest mystery ever, but it was early in Lescroart’s career. In fact, the international intrigue angle that asserted itself at the end caught us by surprise but, frankly, this is hardly the Upset of the Year for us. Unless you are an ardent Holmes or Wolfe fan, it might not be for you. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow blows off workout. Today’s Diary. 

We’re not entirely sure why, but we were exhausted when we woke up this morning…It was as if we’d never gone to bed: we woke up groggy and yawning…

———

Would you like 4Ever & Ever access to Gaylon’s crap?
Of course you would.
Click here. It’s only $24.99.

Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device. 

———

On This Date
Extra, extra, read all about it. 

In 2005 – Edgar Ray Killen is indicted for the murders a Black and two Jewish civil rights workers that occured in 1964 in Philadelphia, Mississippi. The three – who’d had the nerve to try and register Black voters – had been abducted, shot, and left in an earthen dam. The state declined criminal prosecution and Killen had no verdict returned in a federal civil rights trial. Killen would be convicted of three counts of manslaughter in June and died in prison in 2018 at age 93. History refers to the killings as the Freedom Summer Murders. 

In 1980 – The Philadelphia Flyers win the last of their NHL-record 35-game unbeaten streak in a 4-2 win over the Buffalo Sabres. The Flyers last loss had been to the Atlanta Flames on October 13 and they went 25-0-10 during the streak. They had broken the record of the 1977-78 Montreal Canadiens, who went unbeaten in 28 straight games.

In 1990 – Phil Collins is at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the third of four consecutive weeks with Another Day In Paradise. The song went to #1 in ten other countries, including Zimbabwe and Norway, peaked at #2 in Great Britain, and was Billboard’s 7th-biggest song of the year. It was the 11th of 16 Top 10 hits for Collins as a solo act and was his 5th of seven #1 songs. The song was written by Collins and featured backing vocals by David Crosby. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.

He means well for his country, is always an honest man, often a wise one, but sometimes and in some things, absolutely out of his senses.
Benjamin Franklin
Regards John Adams

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

Two other Christmas songs have hit #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100: All I Want For Christmas Is You by Mariah Carey (2019-23) and Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree by Brenda Lee (2023/24)

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

Who holds the NHL record the longest winless streak? – Answer next time!

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