Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Wednesday March 28
Went for a full shift at the retailer after my shift at the hotel this morning…Those of you keeping score at home might be scratching your heads telling yourself that’s a long day and it is because when I get home about 7pm or so Wednesday night I’ve been up since the previous afternoon…I’m pretty strong, tho, not to mention used to it, so I handle it pretty well, but I will sleep really well tonight…

I’ve been promoted at the retailer, from mere cashier to mere service desk associate…It mainly involves handling returns, cashing checks and wiring money, mainly to Mexico and Jamaica and here in the states…I work about 25 hours a week there, too, about double what I used to.

It was pretty slow early on and Mic and I were talking about something or another and he started talking about his native Senegal…We were talking about women, actually, and he said one woman wasn’t enough for a man and in Africa you got four women and his tone implied your four women were issued to you at the supply hut or something…English is Mic’s seventh or eighth language, by the by, so he is sometimes tuff to understand and from time to time I’ll talk with him in Spanish if our chat isn’t going to be too long.

Got some time today on my old stomping grounds, Aisle 5…There were no bachelor purchases, it wasn’t Saturday night so the lonely hearts were either squirreled away in mommy’s basement or they were manning the convenience stores, but I did get to use my classic “are these snacks or a meal plan line” one woman who bought chips, more chips and a big box of Cheez-itz.

I forgot to mention that I met the new GM at the hotel when I went in Tuesday night…His name is Hadeesh (it is possible, perhaps likely, that I am misspelling that, but here merely said his name and didn’t write it out for me but the pronunciation is right so lay off) and no one, including Hadeesh, is entirely sure if he is permanent or not…The old GM left last week…His name was Dave and he was a pretty good guy…Ran a good shop and was low key and funny.

Janis had left me some food, too, when I went in Tuesday night…You run into this sometimes in the night audit racket: the clerk working swing shift leaves you something…Tonight’s haul was a couple of slices of pizza and a few BBQ wings, which isn’t too bad…There was also a salad, but who cares about that???…Not ol’ Sparrow.

The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence.

It was inspired by the 19^th-century British novel of the same name.

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Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Tuesday, March 27
I will say this about the cat: she does not wake me up to eat….She realizes I keep odd hours and that a growing boy like me needs his rest…For example, working overnights now I sleep during the days a lot…Like today…I got home after work and actually stayed up till 10am or so farting around because I had slept a lot the night before…I woke up around 7pm, too, a couple of hours past the time when I’m usually up, and she was patient.

Of course, the second I stirred she was on the prowl…Literally, the instant I shed the covers there she is trotting into the bedroom, meowing, the first couple greetings for the day but following that are demands for dinner service…And I produced it, too, don’t doubt that…Well right after getting coffee ready, of course, cause nothing gets in the way of AM coffee…Or, at need, the morning constitutional…But yummies do take precedence over turning on the computer on if you can believe that.

Did a second Sparrow For Congress video after work…I took up a minute of your time talking about trusting your instincts and if your instincts told you our country was on a collision course with peace and prosperity go watch another candidate’s video but if your instincts told you we’re screwed, you’ve found a home at Sparrow For Congress…I added the line from the first video about it being time for us to send a message to rest of our state and the rest of our country that the Third Congressional District was demanding better this Election Day…It’s a pretty good line and I’ll probably use it every time I open my mouth because one of the lessons Hitler taught was the key to success was to say the same thing over and over.

Speaking of coffee, the Wife and I, not for the first time, have separate coffee pots…She is stubborn and insists on drinking coffees that are an instant high…Well, longtime readers of this crap know ol’ Sparrow prefers something mellower, like crack cocaine.

Anyway, a while back at the retailer, I noticed they had a variety of new house brands…Not only that, they were colorfully packaged, so I bought a package of their breakfast blend and donut shop knockoff…Both were really good and I was alternating them when they stopped carrying the breakfast blend because it didn’t sell very well…So now I drink the donut shop knock-off regularly while the Wife drinks crap that has such a high caffeine content that it comes encased in concrete.

The donut shop knock is a pretty good replica of the real Dunkin Donuts coffee that is really my All-Time Fave, but it is more than twice as much as the knockoff…Now, the Wife and I are not broke but I appreciate the savings and the coffee is really good, so what the hell.

The Wife is spending the week with her daughter, so I cleaned the cat box, too.

The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence.

It was inspired by the 19^th-century British novel of the same name.

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Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life.

Monday, March 26
Made the first Sparrow For Congress video today…Now, I know from past campaigns that no one gets really too worked up about anything until after Labor Day, but this country is so fractured and divided right now there is no reason to wait to try and make some noise, especially in this day and age when Facebook or Twitter can make you famous overnight…And especially here in District 3, where a full one-third of voters are independents and who, almost by definition, are looking for something other than the status quo.

Today’s video triumphantly heralded my nomination this past weekend, plus I came up with an inspired line about how the time has come for the 3rd District to show the state and the nation they are demanding better this Election Day and what better way to demand better than to send ol’ Sparrow to Congress…I’m keeping them short, too, ideally less than a minute and never anymore than 90 seconds because attention spans aren’t all that long anymore.

The Sparrow For Congress website is up and running, too…Completely redone because the goddamned app I used on my desktop is no longer being supported by its developer…I actually noticed this a couple-three months ago and it was a modest pain in the neck, but I eventually went with a pretty common website provider…I selected a theme and added my content and it was actually pretty intuitive once I got the hang of it.

Sparrow For Congress videos would probably go over better if I wasn’t so damned unphotogenic…Now, I didn’t say ugly…I’m pretty easy on the eyes…But I look lousy on camera.

Went back to work at the hotel tonight…I’ve been working the night audit at a small hotel in town for over a year…It is a lot fewer headaches than the timeshare some of you might recall I worked at and there isn’t a whole lot of work to do, so I have a lot of time to write, which I’ve been doing a lot more of lately…Anyway, the computer problems that existed before I left for the convention have yet to be fixed!!!…I am not making that up!!!..Janis said the new computer will be here tomorrow, but you can believe that if you want.

As it is, with the main computer down we are doing our work on computer #2, which is off to the side of the front desk which made for a tedious night’s work because some of the files that were on Computer 1 aren’t on Computer 2…Plus, I have to scan some things and on C-2 I can only scan one page at a time and on C-1 you can scan the whole batch…Also, the printer chose tonight to have a paper jam every five goddamn minutes tho I brilliantly solved this problem by switching from the paper in the blue package to the paper in the green package…I am not making that up!!!…That actually solved the problem…There were no more paper jams after that!

Also, Dave the GM left last week…He had been scheduled to leave for a while, but I think the hotel he was going to transfer to was sold or something…I’m not entirely sure, and while I like Dave, he’s pretty low key and funny, like me, I didn’t want to pry.

I am still working at the retailer, too…I suppose it is a lot of hours each week, but I don’t work too hard and I take care to get my rest, so I am seldom tired.

Got a workout in, too, today…I ditched my membership at the gym in town because it was tough to get there regularly and signed up for the gym here in our small town…It’s a pretty good gym, but I don’t get in there all that regularly either, but I got in there today…I didn’t get Workout of the Year in though, but after eating like an oink-oink this past weekend I wasn’t entitled to Workout of the Year.

The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence.

It was inspired by the 19^th-century British novel of the same name.

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Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Sunday, March 25
Earned the Minor Party’s nomination for the United States Congress (again) today…Longtime readers of this crap will recall I was their United States Senate nominee in 2014 and in 2016 I tried for their US Senate nomination again but so did Lily, who grew in under Chairman Mao in Communist China. That was bad for ol’ Sparrow because people love stories like that and we were headed for a primary election when I said eff this noise, I might lose a primary and be off the ballot completely and caved in and accepted the House of Representatives nomination for District 3.

So this will be my third time on the ballot and it’s good to be back…I believe there is a place for me to do some good for our country and I’ve gone from a complete novitiate to someone with almost a modest clue about what to do…Throw in the fact this country is a complete fiasco right now, that virtually every voter is pissed and disillusioned and there is no reason Sparrow For Congress cannot make some noise this year.

The Minor Party still has trouble rustling up candidates so, like virtually every other candidate I was nominated by acclamation….What’s almost interesting is when the guy put the spreadsheet of candidates up on the overhead screens my name was not listed for District 3, one Jennifer Tew’s name was listed…Who the hell is Jennifer Tew, I wondered???…I wasn’t particularly worried because my theory is what is meant to happen in this life will happen if you let it and if my nomination was meant to be not even Jennifer Tew cold stop it…As it was, neither Ms Tew nor her representative could be bothered to show up so I was the only nominee…Had she shown up I would have taken her out back and broken her legs and told her to run for dog catcher or water commissioner or something.

I ate like a pig the entire weekend…First, on the way out Friday (it’s a four-hour drive to the big city from The Shire) I stopped at Fave Fast Food Joint A and had their biggest burger and that night Cousin Mike and Barb took me to this burger place where Mike said they had a half-beef, half-bacon patty…He lied, it was actually a 60/40 beef/bacon split but I quibble….Saturday Mike and I had breakfast at Waffle Planet, the dive 24-hour joint that I love dearly and Saturday night was the banquet at the convention which was pretty good…Sunday I had breakfast with the state American Legion commander – I still command my Legion post and district – and before fleeing town Sunday I celebrated my nomination with not one, but two burgers at Fave Fast Food Joint B…Throughout the weekend I supplemented this – not that it needed supplementing – with a hot dog and a taquito at convenience store near the convention hotel.

I raided Cousin Mike’s booze Saturday night when I got back from the convention…My room is in the basement and so is Cousin Mike’s booze, so he didn’t know his booze was almost all gone until I bragged about it this morning…The cheap stuff was up front, Jack, Dewars, Phil’s Yak Piss, stuff like that…I noticed a bottle or two in the back, in the shadows under the cabinet, and some investigation showed it was quality stuff, so I poured a couple-three inches…Glen Fart, or something like that…30-years-old, a single malt from the Scottish highlands…Now, I am not Mr Scotch, but even an idiot like me knows that is primo stuff and boy, it went down really nice.

The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence.

It was inspired by the 19^th-century British novel of the same name.

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