The Diary of a Nobody 1/21/17 – Drivel From Sparrow!

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Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Saturday, January 21

Boy, the resort is pretty low key for ski season…We are finding everybody homes without too much difficulty and things that must be solved right now are few.

Altho Jason the Maintenance Manager did come by this morning and say he had some bad news: there was a water leak in 6307, a presidential unit…Well, any water leak is bad, but in presidential units they are particularly bad because we don’t have a lot of them and they are always booked, which means we generally have no place comparable to put them.

Jason said the g*ddamned roofing company that came in recently screwed things up…The water was coming from an icicle in the attic that is melting cause its warming up and going thru a nail hole the jackball roofers made…Exactly why the roofers made a hole with a nail and didn’t leave the nail in there isn’t immediately – and may never well be – clear…The leak is actually minimal and not affecting the guest, except for some cosmetic damage, and the roofers will be back Monday to make it better and we’re hoping the guest that is incoming Sunday won’t have to be moved.

Also, the soap in the bathroom at the resort dries my hands out, so I have to steal some lotion from our guest stockpile at the front desk…I don’t know why people make soap that dries out hands…It makes no sense.

Spent the entire shift at the retailer in the back doing some online training…This was stuff that should’ve been done when I was hired, before I was allowed to hit the floor…It was on really basic stuff, like how to log on to your cashier terminal and how to process a credit card transaction…I have no idea why it took five months to have take this and I didn’t ask…I get paid the same either way.

Boy, tho, you forget the pressure cooker you live under in the trenches every shift…It was nice to get a breather, and I was told I was sufficiently far behind in my training to ensure I will probably be catching up all weekend.

So the only decent Bachelor Purchase of the Night was made by me, some Wheat Thins to enjoy on a break…For full bachelor effect I probably should’ve rolled with some Cheez-Itz, but I was in the mood for some Wheat Thins and good luck stopping me.

The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence.

It was inspired by the 19th-century British novel of the same name.

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The Daily Dose/January 22, 2017

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 The Daily Dose/January 22, 2017
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy 

AMERICA…LAND OF THE FREE, HOME OF THE ONCE GREAT: As we noted in our last column, President Trump’s inaugural address came in at about 1,400 words. Most of them sounded like he was back on the campaign trail and did not have the broad, historical perspective the very best inaugural addresses have had over the centuries.

Some of his words, though, weren’t too bad and the following 25 words hit the nail right on the head:

Finally, we must think big and dream even bigger. In America, we understand that a nation is only living as long as it is striving…

Gaylon For Congress…Vote Early, Vote Often: Bingo. We have expressed similar sentiments before, both here and while campaigning for the United States Senate and House of Representatives:

America has stopped dreaming.

For a while now America has settled for being well-entertained and, frankly, well-fed. The America that won World War II and remains the only nation to put men on the moon has left the building. We have been derelict in our duties as the world’s only superpower and the consequences of this dereliction are widespread.

Leading Off: One, we haven’t put a human on Mars. Not only have we missed out on the accomplishment itself, but we’ve missed out on the innovations this effort would have required.

Two, no one looks up to America anymore.

They used to, despite all our problems. Despite having once allowing slavery, despite making every non-white male fight tooth and nail for every gain, despite every obstacle we threw up, America used to mean something to the rest of the world.

We can again. In fact, we’ve always felt America has an obligation to mean something to the rest of the world. However, America will not start meaning something to the rest of the world until we start meaning something to ourselves again, until we start thinking big again and start striving again.

The Bottom Line: America hasn’t strived since we left the moon in December 1972. We have stopped dreaming and striving and have become content. We have become a second-rate country, mired in perpetual war, mindless debt and fractured and divided society. We elected a president who – an occasional well-turned phrase notwithstanding – is utterly without qualification, class or civility. Four years from now we will probably still be at war and hopelessly in debt, four years closer to our ultimate collapse, probably before this half-century is out.

TEN-HUT! 150 members of the Swiss Guard arrive in the Vatican City to protect Pope Julius II on this date in 1506. Julius had been a bishop in Switzerland before becoming Pope, and upon becoming pope had requested a Swiss mercenary force for protection.

The Pontifical Swiss Guard still performs this role, as well as other security roles in Vatican City, and remains one of the oldest continually operating military elements in the world.

Now Hear This: The United States Supreme Court issues two rulings, Roe vs Wade and Doe vs Bolton, both of which remove all barriers to elective abortion in the United States. Roe decreed that the right to privacy established by the 14th Amendment to the Constitution extends to a woman’s right to have an abortion. The Doe ruling overturned Georgia’s abortion law, which had allowed it only in cases of rape, incest, deformity of the fetus or for the health of the mother.

Thought For The Day: …he who ceases to learn is already a half-dead man. Do not be like an oyster who rests on the sea bottom waiting for the good things to come by. Search for them. Find them. – Louis L’Amour, The Lonesome Dove

Answer To The Last Trivia Question: The longest presidential inaugural address was 8,460 words in 1841 by William Henry Harrison. The shortest was George Washington’s second inaugural, 135 words, in 1793.

Today’s Stumper: What is the oldest military unit sill in continuous operation? Answer next time!

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The Daily Dose/January 21, 2017

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Donald Trump and the end of the American Century…

The Daily Dose/January 21, 2017
By Gaylon Kent=
America’s Funniest Guy

“WE ARE TRANSFERRING POWER FROM WASHINGTON, D.C, AND GIVING IT BACK YOU, THE PEOPLE”: Donald Trump – Donald Trump! – the divisive winner of the most divisive election in American history took the helm of a fractured and splintered country Friday in Washington, D.C.

“This Moment Is Your Moment…” Trump started out strong. Really strong, actually, and after a couple of minutes we were about ready to weep. Had he been able to keep this going the entire speech, History would be ranking it right up there with George Washington and John F Kennedy.

Die! Die! Die! But then he pissed the Muslims off by vowing to destroy the Islamic State and from there it deteriorated into something more resembling a campaign appearance than anything an incoming president of the United States speaking for History’s sake, with us citizens mere bystanders, might say.

Get Out Your History Books: Like you probably have, we’ve read every inaugural address here at the Daily Dose and we give Trump below average marks. He talked nothing about America’s place in the world, about our responsibilities to our fellow nations. It was if he was heralding the end of what some have referred to as the American Century.

The Bottom Line: Pros: While he didn’t look completely presidential, there was no doubt Trump was in complete command and not some wishy-washy politician trying to be all things to all people. He was Trump being Trump; if you like him, great, if you don’t, I don’t really think he cares.

Cons: Trump is, of course, a complete freakazoid. He made a complete ass of himself, and humiliated us, during the campaign and we remain confident he will be an utter embarrassment as president because the best indicator of future performance is past performance.

Me! Me! Me!: Considering Trump’s only real talent is drumming up interest in himself, and that he is one of the great egotists of all-time, the fact he only used the word “I” three times in his inaugural address is nothing short of miraculous. Here in the office, we had put the over/under at 546.

Dry, Technical Matter: Trump’s speech checked in at a bit more than 1,400 words, a bit less than the historical average of 2,000 or so for presidential inaugural addresses.

MEANWHILE, FROM THE AFRICA DESK: Friday’s peaceful transfer of power in Washington is in stark contrast to what is going in that bastion of democracy known as The Gambia, where president Yahya Jammeh initially refused to cede power. He had taken power 22 years ago in the obligatory African military coup but lost December’s election to Adama Barrow. During his term, Jammeh had the usual accusations such leaders are accustomed to, such as suppressed resistance and curtailed press freedoms, so it’s not a bulletin he was hesitant to give up power.

Dry, Technical Matter: Elections in The Gambia are conducted with marbles. We are not making that up. Voters receive a marble and place it in a sealed drum that has a picture of their desired candidate on it, a method that virtually eliminates disputed ballots.

Back On Message: Reports from The Gambia seem to indicate, however, that Jammeh – after some arm twisting by neighboring heads of state – has decided to step down.

IT’S GOOD TO BE THE KING, AT LEAST UNTIL YOU’RE BEHEADED: Louis XVI, formerly the King of the French, is executed by guillotine on this date in 1793. The previous August Louis had been dethroned and arrested on charges of treason. He was indicted in December and had been convicted on January 15.

“The Saddest Day Of My Life…”: His home state of Mississippi having already seceded from the Union, Jefferson Davis resigns from the United States Senate on this date in 1861. Three days later he would be appointed a major general in the Army of Mississippi and in February elected provisional president of the Confederacy.

Thought For The Day: Finally, we must think big and dream even bigger. In America, we understand that a nation is only living as long as it is striving. – Donald Trump, January 21, 2017

Answer To The Last Trivia Question: The only other time in American history when four of five presidents were elected to and served consecutive terms was the period when George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, James Madison and James Monroe served two terms, sandwiching John Adams single term.  The period that began with Ronald Reagan in 1981 and ended Friday with the end of Barack Obama’s term was the other.

Today’s Stumper: Which president of the United States gave the longest inaugural address and which president gave the shortest? Answer next time!

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The Diary of a Nobody 1/20/17 – Drivel From Sparrow!

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Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Friday, January 20
The Wife included in my lunch today what she calls a Homemade Candy Bar…It consists of organic peanut butter, organic honey and organic almonds…She’s a complete maniac, too, and doesn’t mix them together, leaving that for me to do…The almonds are on the bottom, then the honey is put in, off to one side, with the peanut butter off on the other side.

It is really good…So good it doesn’t even taste like an all-natural, good-for-you snack, but more like a fancy-pants dessert you’d get in a nice restaurant…All that’s really missing is some ice cream, and you could charge a few bucks for it, it was that good.

The rest of the lunch she made me was left in my lunch box and put in the break room refrigerator…A piece of pork she had crockpotted earlier in the week, plus some bell peppers – raw, just the way I like them – and some other healthy stuff.

I saved them because we had sandwiches delivered for our front desk meeting today…Pretty good ones, too, from a sandwich/outdoor provisions shop downtown…I had two…Well, one total, two halves…One was a pastrami with cole slaw in the sandwich, something I had heard about, but never had…The other was what they call the Pilgrim: turkey, stuffing and cranberry sauce, which is a hell of a sandwich, too.

We also had an all-employee meeting…These aren’t too productive, but it’s good for troop morale to have Alice the GM chat with us and tell us we’re doing a good job.

They had snacks at this meeting…It was in the Facilities building and I had commandeered a really nice office chair from Jason’s office and was sitting comfortably in it…Dan-o was sitting more or less in front of me – uncomfortably, on a bucket of some sort – and I tapped him on the shoulder and asked if he would get me one of the bags of Fritos on the table…He complied, too!!!…I was surprised…Dan-o is a regular guy, like me, and I half expected him to tell me to go perform a physical impossibility on myself, but he didn’t and in no time I was enjoying a nice bag of corn chips.

The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence.

It was inspired by the 19th-century British novel of the same name.

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The Diary of a Nobody 1/19/17 – Drivel From Sparrow!

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Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Thursday, January 19
Heard from the Sheriff’s Office today…Recall last autumn I applied for a Detention Deputy position at the county jail in the next county and didn’t get hired…Well, a couple of weeks ago The Wife sent me a pic of an ad in the newspaper which said our county was looking for a Detention Deputy.

Well, OK…I’d actually applied for this in the past and got a form letter saying thanks and good luck in all my future endeavors, but who the hell knows what is going to happen…Hell, The Wife was so enthused by the opportunity she applied, which was a lot of work on her part and I was very proud of her…Applications were due yesterday, which was when I turned mine in.

The Lieutenant who runs the jail called me today…I called her back on lunch and she said she would like to invite me to test for the position…She added she had The Wife’s application, too, and they couldn’t hire both of us, and they chose to ask me to test…I told the Lieutenant we had anticipated that and there would be no hard feelings, although The Wife did express disappointment she wasn’t going to get a rejection letter.

Anyway, testing is Tuesday, January 31. There will be a fitness test, a run, some pushups, some sit-ups, tho the letter the Lieutenant emailed me didn’t specify the numbers required, only that everyone was encouraged to do their best…Those that make it past the fitness test will move on to an interview later that day….Those who pass that can look forward to a physical exam, a psych test, a lie-detector test and a drug test…If they test for ginger I’ll probably fail, because I drink ginger tea left and right now.

I’m in pretty good shape, but I will start doing cardio in the gym. I’m kinda worried there aren’t any set numbers to shoot for, but whatever…I’ve learned in these situations it’s best not to ask too many questions.

The resort is very busy, but work was very low key today…At the Thursday Supervisor/Manager meeting, we discussed customer service…This can be boiled to down to one thing, if you ask me, and I’ve delivered world-class service from everyone from US Ambassadors to the homeless: make every guest feel like you’ve spent your entire life waiting to help them. If you do that, the job’s pretty easy.

We have more meetings tomorrow!!!…There is a front desk meeting at 12:30pm and the now-monthly all-employee meeting at 2pm…Lunch is being served at the front desk meeting and snacks and other goodies at the all-employee meeting, so at least we will be well fed.

Our scores are better than last year…We’re rated on the percentage of guests that give us a nine or a ten and the front desk scores are up to 63 from 52 at this time last year…63 isn’t all that great, frankly, and 52 was atrocious, but at least we’re getting better.

One reason is there is a lot of turnover, which means we are always training people, so a lot of guests are dealing with someone still learning.

The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence.

It was inspired by the 19th-century British novel of the same name.

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The Daily Dose/January 20, 2017

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The Daily Dose/January 20, 2017
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU ASK FOR: Donald Trump – Donald Trump! – takes office as the 45th president of the United States today. We don’t do a lot of predicting here at The Daily Dose, preferring wise-ass post-mortems, but we feel pretty safe making the following statement:

Donald Trump was a national embarrassment as a presidential candidate and as president-elect. He will be an embarrassment as president of the United States.

It’s difficult to argue with this because the best indicator of future performance is past performance and let’s not forget Trump was a misfit of a private citizen, too. America elected someone president whose only real talent, and it’s something he does supremely well, is drumming up interest in himself.

Dry, Technical Matter: Trump likes to blame the media for some things but you know what? He should be buying them champagne because he would not have been nominated, much less elected, without them. A real media would have conducted a proper vetting of Trump’s utter lack of qualifications for the White House and had him dismissed from the GOP race in a few days. Instead, Trump meant big ratings and clicks and the media kept him in the race as the other candidates fell by the wayside.

Despite the fact the GOP has control of the US Senate and House and of the White House, nothing is going to get done. The big-picture that have plagued us for years and that will ultimately destroy this country if not attended to, will remain.

Gaylon For Congress…Vote Early, Vote Often: When I was campaigning for the United States Senate in 2014 and the US House last year, I always said our biggest problem was our economy, that America needed an economy anchored in low taxes and free markets.

We still do need an economy anchored in low taxes and free markets, but it is no longer our most pressing issue.

Get Your Official Daily Dose Policy Right Here: Our most pressing issue is an American society that is bitterly divided. We are divided politically, and ethnically and socially and economically like never before. And President Trump is not going to make it any better. There’s no way. He is too gauche, too uninterested in anything other than promoting Donald Trump, too uninterested in civility or in anything other than drumming up interest in Donald Trump.

America cannot continue this divided. Sure, this country has always been divided, going back to before the founding of this republic, but it’s more so this time. In the past we were always able to accept our divisions without rampant gunfire. No more. Gunfire is now one of the primary forms of interaction in this country, right behind saying “good morning” and we don’t see it getting any better in the near future.

MORE HOT PRESIDENTIAL INAUGURATION ACTION: Franklin Delano Roosevelt and John Nance Garner are sworn in as president and vice president on this date in 1937, the first time an inauguration was held on January 20 since the passage of the 20th Amendment in 1927. It’s the second term for both, although Garner would be replaced by Henry Wallace for FDR’s third term.

FunFact: Before the 20th Amendment, presidential terms began and ended on March 4.

I Do Solemnly Swear: On this date in 1981 the 52 American hostages being held in Iran are released, 20 minutes after Ronald Reagan is sworn in as president of the United States.

Well, Great…The Middle Of Nowhere: A team of three British and one Canadian man reach the southern pole of inaccessibility – the point in Antarctica the farthest from any ocean – on this date in 2007. It was the first visit by anyone since the Soviets had left in 1958, and they were the first ever to do it without mechanical assistance, making the 1,093-mile trip entirely with skis and kites.

Viva The Motherland: On arrival, they were met by the large, gold statue of Vladimir Lenin the Soviets had left there.

Thought For The Day: I was summoned by my Country, whose voice I can never hear but with veneration and love…– George Washington, first inaugural address.

Answer To The Last Trivia Question: The other two people besides Gene Cernan (Apollo 10, Apollo 17) to fly to the moon twice are John Young (Apollo 10, Apollo 16) and Jim Lovell (Apollo 8, Apollo 13). Lovell is the only man to do go twice without landing.

Today’s Stumper: The end of the Obama Administration ends an era where four of the last five presidents were elected to and served two terms: Reagan, Clinton, George W Bush and Obama. This happened one other time in American history. Name the presidents involved.– Answer next time!

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The Daily Dose/January 19, 2017

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 The Daily Dose/January 19, 2017
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

UP…UP…AND AWAY: Gene Cernan, famously known as the last human to set foot on the moon, died this week. He was 82.

Cernan’s death means half of the twelve men who have walked on the moon are now dead and the six that remain aren’t getting any younger. The youngest is Cernan’s shipmate Harrison Schmitt who is 81. The oldest is Buzz Aldrin, the second human to set foot on the moon, who will be 87 Friday. The time is coming when the world will have no one alive who can tell us what it is like to walk on another heavenly body. Our loss.

And Still Heavyweight Champion of the World: Cernan, frankly, is likely to retain the title of Last Human To Set Foot on the Moon for quite some time. Even if America dropped everything and tried to send someone back to the moon as soon as possible, it would probably take us a decade to get back, itself a sign of how far our country has fallen.

Get Out Your History Books: Recall that in the 1960’s America started from nothing and went to the moon in less than a decade. In fact, we did it in just over eight years, 2,983 days to be exact, from the time President John F Kennedy set the goal before Congress on May 25, 1961 to the time Neil Armstrong took man’s first step on the moon on July 20, 1969.

Dry, Technical Matter: Cernan, Harrison Schmidt and Ron Evans left for the moon on December 7, 1972 and returned to Earth on December 19. Cernan and Schmitt become the last humans to depart the moon on December 14.

Return To Earth: Anyone familiar with Cernan knows his role as the last human to walk on the moon moved him deeply. He called it the great moment of his life and fretted that nothing he’d ever do would measure up to that. He also fretted that his final words on the moon would not be up to the moment.

Cernan fretted needlessly. His words as he left the moon were as momentous as Neil Armstrong’s “one small step” line, which had heralded man’s arrival on the moon. Cernan’s quote remains one of our favorites:

America’s challenge of today has forged man’s destiny of tomorrow.

Great words, one of those rare instances in human history where the right person had the right words at the right time.

Fly In The Ointment: Unfortunately, America has taken a pass on her destiny of tomorrow. Not only have we not been back to the moon, not only have we not been to Mars, we can’t even send anyone into space anymore!

Not going back to the moon, frankly, isn’t really important. We are still the only nation to put humans on the moon and doing it again isn’t going to make that much of a difference.

Not going to Mars, though, boy, we should all be hanging our collective heads in shame over that one. We failed. By not following-up in the successes of the Apollo program, we failed the world, we failed History and most of all we failed ourselves. Had we wanted to, we could’ve had men on Mars in the 1980s. Don’t doubt that. Spurred on by Apollo’s momentum, good old American innovation and Fate’s general approval that is issued whenever someone or something tries to better themselves, being on Mars could’ve been routine decades ago.

It is reasonable, though not definite, to suppose the innovation required by this effort probably would see us leading substantively better lives than we do now.

Our Loss: Today, instead of having a colony on Mars, America is mired in war and debt and domestic violence. Later this week a misfit named Donald Trump will become president and America is on her way to being tossed aside History’s scrap heap if we don’t do something in the next generation or so.

CAN SOMEONE LEAD US IN A REBEL YELL, PLEASE?: Georgia secedes from the United States on this date in 1861, joining South Carolina, Florida, Mississippi and Alabama, who had seceded earlier. In April the battle of Fort Sumter would begin the Civil War and, ultimately, eleven stataes would secede and form the Confederate States of America. After getting their keesters handed to them by the North in the Civil War, all would rejoin the Union.

Can Somebody Please Turn The Lights Off When You Leave A Room?: Thomas Edison’s system of providing electricity from overhead wires goes into operation, in Roselle, New Jersey, for the first time on this date in 1883.

Edison built the system to show that large areas could be provided electricity. A nearby steam generator sent electricity to wires that went to a store, the train depot, 40 homes and 150 street lights.

Fly The Friendly Skies: Noted recluse Howard Hughes sets a new record by flying from Los Angeles to New York in seven hours, 28 minutes and 25 seconds on this date in 1937. Hughes broke the record of 9 hours, 27 minutes set by Howard Hughes a year earlier.

FunFact: The first cross-America record recorded came in 1911, when Calbraith Perry Rogers flew from Sheepshead Bay, New York on September 17, 1911 and arrived in Pasadena, California on November, 5.

Oh Jesus H: The current record is 64 minutes, held by the supersonic Sr-71 Blackbird, which did it in 1990.

The Long And Winding Road: Nazi war criminal Klaus Barbie is arrested in Bolivia on this date in 1984.

Barbie had an illustrious career as a war criminal, earning the nickname The Butcher of Lyon for his torture and killing of French prisoners in World War II. He also gained notoriety for sending 44 Jewish orphans to a concentration camp. After the war, he had been employed by the CIA to help with anti-communism efforts in Europe. Barbie eventually settled in Bolivia, where he lived comfortably, at least until the new government decided to have him arrested.

Barbie refused to acknowledge the legality of his extradition to France, and spent most of his trial in his prison cell. He was convicted, sentenced to life in prison, where he died in 1991.

Thought For The Day: Enriched by a singular event that is larger than life, I no longer have the luxury of being ordinary. – Gene Cernan

Answer To The Last Trivia Question: The first NFL team to change cities were the Decatur Staleys, who moved to Chicago and became the Bears in 1922.

Today’s Stumper: Gene Cernan is one of three people to fly to the moon twice. Who are the other two?  – Answer next time!

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The Diary of a Nobody 1/18/17 – Drivel From Sparrow!

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Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Wednesday, January 18
A good day off.

Went to the next county with The Wife because she needed some new blue jeans…I personally didn’t think she needed new blue jeans but I’ve learned my opinion is not key in these situations and that it is better to keep my yap shut…Besides, The Wife doesn’t buy a whole lot for herself anyway, so I went in good spirits.

Of course, the evolution took a while…First, an appropriate style has to be found and what guy knows the thought process behind this???…Then an appropriate size must be found…Then I start in with the reassurances they make her look good…These reassurances have to be fairly strong, too, not to mention pegging out the sincerity meter.

None of these things happen instantaneously, either and long-time husbands know it has been this way since time immemorial, too…Eventually, we were able to find two pairs of jeans that met every specification, including a pair that had some fancy stitching on the back pocket, which required extra exhortations from me about the quality of their fit.

Got one heck of a workout in…Getting back on the old workout supplement was a great call…The only downside is last we established I can no longer do max workouts on consecutive days, so I did a regular workout Tuesday and a max workout today and was stronger today than Tuesday…It’s a good feeling, too, because I’m a middle-aged man now and I have good size and good strength.

Other than that, a very relaxing day…I did some writing but that was done early, too, and I was reading by, get this, 5pm, a goal of mine I seldom meet.

The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence.

It was inspired by the 19th-century British novel of the same name.

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The Daily Dose/January 18, 2016

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The Daily Dose/January 18, 2017
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

MR. SPANOS, U-HAUL ON LINE TWO: The big news in the San Diego Chargers becoming, again, the Los Angeles Chargers, is not that they moved. NFL owners have, for years, been giving a clinic and pulling up stakes whenever a city refuses to yield to their extortion demands. We’re used to it.

No, what we found interesting is that the Chargers would leave San Diego for Los Angeles, of all places.

In San Diego, they were beloved, the big cheese, the big man on campus. In Los Angeles, they will be an afterthought, behind the Dodgers, the Lakers, the Rams, USC football, UCLA basketball and maybe even the Kings.

Little Ralphie Has The Jammers’ Helmet: If the LA T-Birds were still skating at the Olympic Auditorium, they’d probably be an afterthought behind them, too.

Heck, the Chargers won’t even be the second most popular football team in town, they will be third behind the Rams and the Raiders.

We’ve Got A Business To Run: Dean Spanos, though, really had no other option. To stay in San Diego without a new stadium was folly. Simply by signing the letter to the NFL announcing his intention to relocate the value of his business increased from $2 billion to $3 billion.

Even if the Spanoses continued mediocre leadership continues to produce average on-field results, the Chargers will still be more profitable and valuable than they were playing in their old stadium. They might even be more profitable and valuable in LA than in a new stadium in San Diego.

FunFact: If they win they will become a license to print money because no one embraces a winner like Los Angeles does.

More Hot, NFL Relocation Action: Oakland is about to lose the Raiders again because Oakland is showing no more interest in subsidizing their NFL team than San Diego did. It is not definite the Raiders will move to Las Vegas, but Nevada said yes to the NFL’s demands, to the tune of $750 million, and Raiders owner Mark Davis has indicated he will ask his fellow NFL owners for permission to move. The Las Vegas Raiders and the Los Angeles Chargers, both in the AFC West, could be meeting two times a season as soon as this year if permission is granted and the Raiders don’t want to be a lame-duck team in Oakland.

The Bottom Line: Sure, it’s tough to see a civic institution leave, but the Dodgers left Brooklyn and other teams have ripped the hearts out of their old cities and the sun continues to rise in the east every morning. The Chargers had no choice. They have a business to run and it will be run more profitably in Los Angeles, even if their arrival there was met with a collective yawn.

THEY’RE YOUR PROBLEM NOW, MATE: The first ship in what History refers to as the First Fleet, arrives in Botany Bay, Sydney, Australia on this date in 1788, bringing 75 convicts that would form the first permanent European settlement in Australia.

The rest of the fleet, ten ships, would arrive over the next couple of days, bringing between 1,000 and 1,500 people, total.

Oh, Bloody Hell: The first European to visit Botany Bay had been British Navy Captain James Cook, who had visited the east coast of Australia in 1770. His glowing reports of area had been instrumental in leading the British to set up a penal colony there. On arrival, officials and convicts found poor soil, insufficient fresh water and trees that broke the tools they were using to cut them down with.

Great Moments In Eugene Ely: Eugene Ely becomes the first person to land an airplane on a ship on this date in 1911, landing a Curtiss Pusher on the deck of the USS Pennsylvania, which was anchored in San Francisco Bay.

WTF? The Pennsylvania had to be wondering what in thee hell was going on. Designed and built as an armored cruiser, the Pennsylvania had a deck built onto its after deck for the landing. Eventually, it was renamed the Pittsburgh, spent most of World War I patrolling Latin America and was decommissioned in 1931.

Back On Message: Though Ely is not as well-known as some early aviation pioneers, the previous November Ely had become the first person to fly an airplane off a ship. Ely would die in October, 1911, at the age of 25, breaking his neck after leaping from his crashing aircraft.

Dry, Technical Matter: Congress awarded Ely the Distinguished Flying Cross in 1933.

Great Moments In Blacks Playing Hockey: Willie O’Ree becomes the first black to play in the National Hockey League on this date in 1958. O’Ree, a winger, was playing for the Quebec Aces of the Quebec Hockey League at the time, and was called up to the Boston Bruins following an injury. O’Ree would play in two games for the Bruins that season, and 43 more in the 1960-61 season.

Warm, Personal Remembrance: We can remember watching O’Ree play with San Diego Gulls, then of the Western Hockey League, in late 1960’s.

O’Ree did not exactly open up the flood gates for blacks in the NHL. The next black wouldn’t appear in an NHL game until 1974 and today there are about two dozen playing for NHL teams.

Thought For The Day: But their lives, as he planned, would be up to them…He left his successors with the burden, and the freedom, of making their way. – Richard Brookhiser, George Washington on Leadership

Answer To The Last Trivia Question: The longest running TV show on America television is NBC’s Meet The Press, which is in its 69th season.

Today’s Stumper: Which was the first National Football League team to change cities? – Answer next time!

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The Diary of a Nobody 1/17/17 – Drivel From Sparrow!

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Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Monday, January 16
I don’t know what the deal was with the trash guys today.

I had the trash out early, almost immediately after I got up…I wanted to avoid the catastrophe of missing them because one week of trash produces a can that is about three-quarters full…Plainly, it needs to be picked up every week.

The trash truck made several passes past the house…The first was about 8am or so…I was at the desk and saw it stop at the stop sign at Main Street before continuing straight…It did not, however, pick up our trash…I have no clue why, because going towards Main Street is the direction it goes when it does stop at The Shire…I went to the window to verify it hadn’t picked up our trash and visual inspection showed the can still facing in the same direction.

The can has instructions on it saying “This Side Faces Street” which we are careful to follow and the guy always turns it sideways after picking up our trash…So he didn’t take it this time…I watched as he did take the trash at the Freeman’s across the street before turning on the next street.

Later, they came by going the opposite way on our street and stopped at Charles’ house across the street…This was an interesting wrinkle because usually they pick up Charles’ trash right before they pick up ours, when they are going the opposite way…I looked, because by this time trash day has completely consumed me and it appeared the guy was picking up the can with the yellow lids, which are recyclables.

OK…The truck then went down to the next street and turned right, continuing its rounds…Later, it would come by and collect our trash a little after noon, more or less it’s normal time.

I am letting my hair grow out…Part of it is it’s winter and while there isn’t a whole lot up top, I like the illusion of warmth letting it grow provides…Second, I am weary of shaving it every day…I have no clue what I am going to do with it tho…I mean, if I let it grow too long, then I have wash and comb it and probably put gel in it…Plus I am always wearing a hat, meaning hat hair will be rearing its ugly hair, soon and then I have to fuss with my hair more than I do shaving it every day.

Family dinner at the diner tonight!!!…Her Majesty reported on her first couple of days back at school…She is taking another anatomy class and they’re already dissecting rats…Her Majesty said they were hoping to cut open cats but there appears to be shortage of dead, dissectible cats in the medical community…I forget what other classes she is taking, probably because I can’t pronounce them, but she is on track to transfer to a four-year school over the summer, which is how we planned it…She is working very hard.

I had a burger and so did The Wife…Her Majesty had a pizza, which she didn’t finish and which thrilled her so much she didn’t bring the leftovers home.

The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence.

It was inspired by the 19th-century British novel of the same name.

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