The Diary of a Nobody – Wed 5/30/19

Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Wednesday, May 30
Boy, I was feeling out of sorts all shift at Hotel B…I’m not sure why, either…Maybe I was still feeling down about the older gentleman whose mind is going, the one who bought and returned the same stuff he bought and returned last week…Maybe it’s because The Wife is gone and I miss her…Maybe it’s the fact the lawn still isn’t mowed, tho I should hear from the repair shop today or tomorrow…Maybe it’s just time to feel down.

Matters picked up somewhat when I was accosted outside the retailer this morning…I’d gone there after work to get some new windshield wipers, which itself turned out to be a minor fiasco…Anyway, I’m walking in when off to my right I hear someone say something…I didn’t hear what, but his tone was menacing…I look over and it’s the psycho ward guy we kick out from time to time for stealing and being a general nuisance…Plus he doesn’t shower regularly and you can smell him from three feet away…In fact, he’s been told if he comes in again he’ll be arrested. 

Anyway, I apologized and asked him to repeat what he said.

It’s time for you to go down.

Fabulous, because there is nothing like an early morning death threat to liven up matters…Psychos like this can be fun to deal with, though, which I learned working security in Vegas and it is fun to meet them on their level…For example, I could have asked him if he had the paperwork from the Overlord authorizing taking me down…Or if he had the Ring of Power because the truly demented would have answers for questions like these..As it was, I was feeling down and not in the mood to meet him on his personal level of dementia, so I smiled at him, flashed him the peace sign and said “OK” before proceeding in without missing a step…This was not what he was expecting at all and he turned around and shook his head and walked away, utterly befuddled.

The wipers I bought required an advanced degree to put on…I opened one package and three small plastic implements fell out, along with five volumes of goddamned instructions…Good gravy…I started in in good spirits, tho, but after a couple of minutes it was plain I would be at this all day and when I saw an advisory to go to watch videos for removal instructions I said eff this noise and went in and exchanged them for the brand I was removing…They cost a little less, but they did OK and they are a piece of cake to install and remove…You press a tab and off it comes and to install it you merely push it on until it clicks and BOOM!, your windshield wipers are installed.

Sparrow’s Sleep Log: There was no sleep to report Wednesday, so the Sleep Log will return.

The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence.

The Diary of a Nobody was inspired by the 19th century British novel of the same name.

Read Gaylon’s latest: We The People: Making America America Again at www.GaylonKent.com

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