The Bottom Ten/NFL Week 10
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™
Like watching a master craftsman at work, Bottom Ten fan(s) everywhere are standing back and marveling at how the Detroit Lions are constructing yet another unvictoried, as they moved to 0-8 on the season in their quest for yet another Dan Henning Trophy – symbolic of NFL Bottom Ten supremacy.
In a technical note, with so many NFL divisions only having on team above .500, Bottom Ten pollsters have ruled that the Ray Malavasi Pin and Marv Levy Broach – occasionally awarded to the worst NFC and AFC divisions – are out and only the coveted Pete Rozelle Award, issued to the worst division in the entire league will be awarded.
This week’s mess, as the nags continue to limp up the backstretch:
1. Detroit Lions (0-8; lost to Philadelphia 44-6) – Lions threatening to make mockery of 2021 B-10 race – never particularly difficult to do – with blowout home loss to Eagles squad that had lost two (2) straight…Lions 48th team in NFL history to start season 0-8…Next Loss: at Pittsburgh
2. Houston Texans (1-7; lost to LA Rams 38-22) – With Dolphins showdown looming, Texans maintain focus with seventh straight loss…Game not as close as score indicated, as Texans actually trailed 38-0 before Rams – under NFL’s new immediate activation policy – put some concession workers in on defense in 4th-quarter…Next Loss: at Miami
3. Miami Dolphins (1-7; lost to Buffalo 26-11) – Strong finishing kick keeps Dolphins on B-10 medal stand, breaking close game open by giving up three (3) touchdowns, field goal on last four (4) possessions…Dolphins riding first seven (7)-game skid since 2019…Next Loss: Houston
4. Jacksonville Jaguars (1-6; lost to Seattle 31-7) – Jacksonville knocking on door to B-10 medal stand following fifth double-digit loss in 2021 …With last two (2) games played in London, Seattle, Jaguar owner Genghis Khan hopes to continue world tour by scheduling next game in Mecca…Next Loss: Buffalo
5. Washington Whatevers (2-6; lost to Denver 17-10) – Whatevers find a way, losing despite out gaining and out first downing Broncos…One of the hottest teams in survey, Whatevers coming on strong with four (4)-game skid following ho-hum 2-2 stuff…Next Loss: Tampa Bay (11/14)
6. New York Giants (2-6; lost to Kansas City 20-17) – Late-game heroics sees defense give up go-ahead field goal, offense allow huge sack in key prime time loss…With rare Jets win, Giants now in driver’s seat for Ed Koch Cup – symbolic of Big Apple football ineptitude…Next Loss: Las Vegas
7. NFL – The lousy football continues, with 21 teams no better than .500 and 14 teams with three (3) or fewer wins…Half of league’s divisions have three (3) teams with losing records with non-winning records.
8. AFC South (11-20) – In tightest B-10 Pete Rozelle Award race ever, AFC South remains a cut above – or maybe a cut below – the others to earn coveted, weekly, award issued to NFL’s worst division.
9. Chicago Bears (3-5; lost to San Francisco 33-24) – Bears making big mid-season B-10 run with first three (3)-game losing streak of 2021…Breaking out from crowded field, Bears earn Holy Trinity Award, given to NFL’s worst three (3)-win team…Next Loss: at Pittsburgh (11/8)
10. Cincinnati Bengals (5-3; lost to NY Jets 34-31) – Five (5)-win teams rare in B-10, but longtime B-10 stalwarts again prove old NFL adage that on any given Sunday Cincinnati is capable of heralding to world they are back in B-10 hunt…Next Loss: Cleveland
This Week’s Clash of the Titans: Houston at Miami
This Is Don Criqui Reporting: Las Vegas at New York Giants
Exciting Regional Action: Buffalo at Jacksonville