The Bottom Ten/NFL Week 8
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™
It’s Carolina and a cast of thousands in the quest for the most coveted trophy in sports, The Dan Henning Trophy – symbolic of NFL Bottom Ten supremacy.
And not only do Bottom Ten fan(s) have the Panthers’ quest for perfect to look forward to, with no less than five (5) one (1)-win teams, the race for spots on the coveted Bottom Ten medal stand promises to be the tightest in ages, though veteran Bottom Ten fan(s) know you ignore the two (2)-win Vikings at your peril.
This week’s fiasco, as the nags approach the backstretch:
1. Carolina Panthers (0-6; lost to Miami 42-21) – Panthers still sitting on the B-10 throne, only eleven (11) losses away from perfection in quest to become NFL’s first 0-17 team…With two (2) AFC South teams, plus the Bears, coming up, Panthers face daunting three (3) game stretch…Next Loss: Houston
2. New York Giants (1-5; lost to Buffalo 14-9) – Close, demoralizing loss to top team might be lack-of-morale booster that keeps Giants on B-10 medal stand all season …Giants earn tiebreaker over other 1-5 teams as minus-96 point differential best in league…Next Loss: Washington
3. Arizona Cardinals (1-5; lost to LA Rams 26-9) – Strong finishing kick sees Cardinals break open close game with strong 20-0 second-half push, including giving up ten (10) points off turnovers…Cardinals 1-5 for first time since 2018…Next Loss: at Seattle
4. Chicago Bears (1-5; lost to Minnesota 19-13) – Bears back on losing schneid, starting in on next 14-game losing streak with clutch loss to one (1)-win Vikings…Earlier loss to Broncos gives them key head-to-head tiebreaker…Next Loss: Las Vegas
5. Denver Broncos (1-5; lost to Kansas City 19-8) – Broncos constructing classic B-10 run, with first of two (2) anticipated losses to defending Super Bowl champions…With three (3) losable games coming up, Broncos should be in good B-10 shape heading into 11/19 showdown with Vikings…Next Loss: Green Bay
6. New England Patriots (1-5; lost to Las Vegas 21-17) – With 79 penalty yards and 83 rushing yards, Patriots come close to magical 1-to-1 Penatly-Yards-To-Rushing-Yards ratio…Head coach Bill Billichek – still unaccustomed to B-10 waters – texting pollsters constantly now with questions, perhaps unaware of $5.00/per word millionaire coach SMS charge…Next Loss: Buffalo
7. Baltimore Ravens vs. Tennessee Titans – Latest 2023 B-10 Game of the Year nominee has British threatening to restart War of 1812 as Ravens, Titans combine for type of game that makes soccer seem interesting, with 18 of 22 drives ending in either some sort of kick or turnover.
8. NFC South (9-14) – NFC South takes first Pete Rozelle Award – issued to NFL’s worst division – of season, with only one team above .500, two (2) others 3-3, plus unvictoried Carolina…B-10 pollsters “pretty sure” AFC South will surge sometime soon, and caution that everyone ignores the AFC North at their peril.
9. Minnesota Vikings (2-4; defeated Chicago 19-13) – With only wins against Panthers, Bears, Viking fan(s) disappointed strength-of-schedule points don’t have team ranked higher, but prime time game vs 49ers this week excellent opportunity to show B-10 street cred to national, prime time audience …Next Loss: San Francisco
10. Tennessee Titans (2-4; lot to Baltimore 24-16) – Titans head into bye week with nice head of steam, a two (2)-game losing streak…Still though, team cannot rest on its laurel(s), as they know a long losing streak will be needed to get back on B-10 medal stand…Next Loss: at Pittsburgh (10/29)
This Week’s Clash of the Titans: Washington at New York Giants
This Is Don Criqui Reporting: Houston at Carolina