The Daily Dose/April 26, 2026
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™
The Sunday Bottom 5
A ranking of some things.
1. 2026 World Cup – Price gouging rolls on, as private party offering four seats for final for only $2.3 million each…Save your money, because for half that we’ll let buyers come watch us write this column; it’ll be just as exciting as a soccer game…Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters remain “pretty sure” they’re the only ones still calling for the World Cup to be moved out of US due to illegal, immoral Iranian war.
2. War! War! War! – US war with Iran still illegal (not declared by Congress) and immoral (we bombed schoolgirls for Pete’s sake)…Israel/Gaza war still an Israeli genocide…Russian/Ukrainian war still a thing, too, though pesky Ukrainian drone superiority keeping Russia land grabs at bay for now.
3. USA! USA! – The 3-hole staple…A hundred years from now all new people – including Americans, if there are any left – will look back at Trump Era and wonder what in the hell we were thinking…Some obliged to live through it now are wondering how an ignorant, lying man of zero moral or intellectual substance was given the time of day by America’s media and voters in the first place.
4. Gaylon For Congress – The first donations are starting to trickle in, and online posts are getting modest action, as 2nd American Revolution required to right American ship is off to steady, if unspectacular start…
Editor’s Note: Gaylon is the Libertarian Party’s nominee for the US House from Colorado’s 2nd District. Click here to contribute to the campaign.
5. Trump Administration Fact Check – Click here for the latest lies from Donald Trump…Courtesy of the AP.
Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually.
Read Free Sunday (RFS) returns!
The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow cops an attitude. Today’s Diary.
Well, we hate to sound like a spoiled brat, and we’re certainly not a back office lawyer, but we’re entitled to a workspace that doesn’t smell like old food…
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On This Date
Extra, extra, read all about it.
In 1865 – John Wilkes Booth, who had shot and killed President Abraham Lincoln twelve days earlier, is shot and killed by Union cavalry troops on a farm about halfway between Washington, D.C., and Richmond, Virginia. Booth was found with co-conspirator David Herold, who gave up, though Booth refused to surrender. Herold and three other conspirators were later tried and convicted in Lincoln’s death, and were executed in July.
In 1920 – Canada wins the first Olympic ice hockey gold medal, defeating Sweden 12-1 in the gold medal match athe Antwerp Summer Games. It was the first of nine gold medals for Canada, and due to the format in use at the time, Sweden ended up without a medal, losing in later flights for the silver and bronze medals won by the US and Czechoslovakia. Figure skating was also contested at the Antwerp Olympics, with the first Winter Olympics being held in 1924 at Chamonix, France.
In 2025 – Kendrick Lamar and SZA are at #1 on Billboard’s Hot R&B/Hip-Hop chart for the 17th of a chart-record 31 non-consecutive weeks and at #1 on the Hot 100 for the ninth of 13 consecutive weeks with Luther. It was Lamar’s fifth and most recent #1 and SZA’s second of three #1 songs. The song went to #1 in six other countries, peaked at #4 in Great Britain, and won Grammy Awards for Record of the Year and Best Melodic Rap Performance.
Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.
…he had learned it was better to say nothing for a year than to permit himself a moment’s indiscretion.
Morris West
The Shoes of the Fisherman
Answer To The Last Trivia Questions
Knowledge is power.
Billboard’s soul chart debuted on October 24, 1942, as the Harlem Hit Parade, a 10-position survey of Harlem record stores. The first #1 song was Take It and Git by Andy Kirk and His Twelve Clouds of Joy. The chart has been known as the Hot R&B/Hip-Hop chart since 2005.
Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.
Besides President Lincoln, who else were John Wilkes Booth and his conspirators planning to assassinate? – Answer next time!
