The Thought for the Day/Miles Unger, on Michelangelo

His images are unforgettable because he was conceiving new forms and discovering new meanings, not just dutifully illustrating a predetermined text. He works by instinct…his independence of mind opening up new possibilities.
Miles Unger
Michelangelo: A Life In Six Masterpieces


We have quoted from this book before. Like all good biographers, Unger makes it seem like his subject is sitting next to you, overseeing your reading about him. The six masterpieces Unger tells Michelangelo’s story through are the Pieta, the David, the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, the Medici tombs, The Last Judgment (on the altar wall of the Sistine Chapel) and St Peter’s Basilica. Michelangelo (1475-1564), of course, is as talented a man as our species has produced, one of the few to reach the pinnacle in three distinct forms of human endeavor: sculpture, painting and architecture.
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The Diary of a Nobody/September 20

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The Daily Dose/Thursday, September 20, 2018

The Daily Dose/September 20, 2018
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Friends, In The News, On This Date and Trivia will return.

The other regular crap is ready for your review, though. Sparrow tests the new falsies out on a Stromboli at the local diner on The Diary of a Nobody, and Tom Brady of the New England Patriots has The Thought for the Day.

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The Thought for the Day/Tom Brady

Time to be great.
Tom Brady


Tom Brady is a professional football player, a quarterback for the New England Patriots of the National Football League. By any measure, Brady is one of the very best ever at what he does and is on an awful lot of shortlists of the very best team sport athletes ever. He has led his team to eight Super Bowls and has won five of them and today’s quote came from this past Super Bowl, stolen from a video that had Brady, and many others, wearing a microphone. Brady was about to take the field late in a Super Bowl that saw his team trailing, hardly uncharted waters and a dragon Brady has slain more than once.
Today’s Thought Continues Here

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The Diary of a Nobody/September 19

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The Daily Dose/Wednesday, September 19, 2018

The Daily Dose/September 19, 2018
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

In The News
The trial of Chicago police officer Jason Van Dyke for the 2014 shooting of Laquan McDonald concluded its second day Tuesday. Police reports shortly after the incident stated Van Dyke acted in self-defense, while dashcam video, released a year after the shooting, showed McDonald walking away at the time of the shooting. Van Dyke shot him once, which felled McDonald, and then Van Dyke shot him 15 more times. Van Dyke was charged with first-degree murder, remains free on $1.5 million bond and, unlike some in his situation, selected a jury trial instead of a bench trial.

We’ve discussed this before: first-degree murder is very difficult to prove in police shootings. Murder 1 generally involves planning and intent and, as the Jason Shockley case in St Louis brilliantly illustrated, this is difficult to prove when a cop has known the victim only a few minutes.

Editor’s Note: Click here for a 2017 column Gaylon wrote about the Shockley case. 

This is what happened here when police came across an erratically behaving McDonald walking down the street. No one knew him from Adam. He didn’t do what the police asked and he had a knife and soon he was dead.

Now, Illinois law provides for a conviction of a lesser offense and state law defines second-degree murder, in part, as an unjustified killing resulting from “sudden and intense passion resulting from serious provocation by the individual killed.” We’re not lawyers here, nor have we ever played one on TV, but this might have been a more reasonable charge.

Today at the Site
The Diary of a Nobody
: There is complete chaos at the hotels Sparrow works at, and he spends the night at Hotel A instead of his usual Hotel B. Plus, there is almost a fight between two customers at the retailer, where the first Christmas decorations are being trotted out.

Good gravy…I am not paid to deal with this…None of us are, really, but a checker less than some others and I’m sorry, I am not going to take a punch or a bullet here, and I’m certainly not going to put my new falsies at risk…Two ding dongs want to go at it, go, knock yourselves out…So to speak.

The Bottom Ten/NFL Week 4: There was no change in the Bottom Ten medal stand this week, as Detroit, Cleveland and Houston all stayed put with losses. The NFL is so bad this year there is not even room for every unvictoried team in this week’s survey.

10. Seattle Seahawks (0-2; lost to Chicago 24-17) – Seahawks get nod for final spot over equally winless Arizona thanks to strength of schedule points for losing to lousy Bears team…Offense getting smiley faces on playbooks for turning two (2) interceptions by defense into zero (0) points, two (2) punts….Next Loss: at Arizona

The Thought for the Day will return.

On This Date
In 1976 – Turkish Airlines flight 452 crashes into the side of a mountain, killing 154 people. They were on approach to Antalya, Turkey, from Istanbul, when the first officers mistook a highway for the runway. When the control tower asked what they were doing, the plane took corrective action but struck the slope of a hill. There were no survivors and passengers had no warning of the crash.

In 1986 – Joe Cowley of the Chicago White Sox pitches a no-hitter in a 7-1 victory over the California Angels. The lone Angels run came in the sixth, on three of Cowley’s seven walks and a sacrifice fly. It is the 33rd and final victory in Cowley’s major league career, and he remains the only pitcher in history whose final big league victory was a no-hitter.

In 1970 – Ain’t No Mountain High Enough by Diana Ross is at #1 for the first of three weeks on the Billboard Hot 100. It was Ross’ first #1 solo hit after twelve #1’s with the Supremes. The song also went to #1 on Billboard’s R&B chart. 

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Randy Johnson is the other pitcher to strike out exactly 20 batters in a game, doing so in 2001 for the Arizona Diamondbacks. He struck out 20 Cincinnati Reds in nine innings, but the mark is not included in the record book because the game went 16 innings.

Today’s Stumper
What act first charted with Ain’t No Mountain High Enough? – Answer next time!

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The Bottom Ten/NFL Week 4

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The Diary of a Nobody/Tuesday, September 18

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The Daily Dose/Tuesday, September 18, 2018

The Daily Dose/September 18, 2018
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

In The News
All right NFL, this is getting ridiculous. The Week 1 tie game was bad enough, but another tie game in Week 2 adds insult to injury. We’ve said this before – like last week for instance – and we will say it again:

Every NFL game must have a winner! 

Too many people pay too much money to watch and broadcast NFL games for there still  to be tied games. Plus, to have a playoff berth depending on a game that was neither won nor lost is silly. (The NFL records ties as half a win and half a loss for the purposes of figuring winning percentage.)

We have a solution, an overtime system that will be fast and easy and guarantees a winner, three elements noticeably absent from the NFL’s current overtime procedure. We call it the Scrimmage Point System. It’s similar to regular football, except there is no clock nor can you kick field goals or punt.

Team A gets the ball on the 50-yard line. They run four plays. At the end of four plays, they surrender the ball to Team B, who has four plays to advance the ball past the 50-yard line. If they do Team B is awarded one scrimmage point and wins the game. If they do not advance the ball past midfield, Team A is awarded the scrimmage point and they win the game. The only way the overtime continues for another go-round is if Team A puts the ball in the end zone. Then Team B gets the ball on the 50-yard line and they have to put the ball in the end zone to continue. If they don’t, Team A gets the scrimmage point and wins the game.

Today at the Site
Sparrow has a follow-up visit at the dentist on today’s edition of The Diary of a Nobody. Plus, he gets the battery in his watch replaced and he reports for his first shift at the retailer since last Tuesday.

I am getting a lot of mileage out of the “my mouth no longer looks like an archaeological dig” line…I’ve used it on The Wife, who laffed, of course, and I used it at the dentist’s office today, where it also got good laffs, but I just dropped two grand there so I could’ve farted and gotten laffs…

The Bottom Ten/NCAA Week 4 moves today, too. UTEP is still #1, with New Mexico State right behind them and with these two misfits meeting this weekend, fans of both teams are looking for the nearest gas pipe.

Now we know why Huskers offered to play canceled opener vs. Akron on airport runway at zero dark thirty on a Sunday morning: it was their best chance to win in 2018…B-10 staffers rushing to get B-10 welcoming kit out to new Husker coaching staff…Kit includes information on removing tar, feathers from body and U-Haul’s top-secret Quik-Get-A-Way 800 number.

The Thought for the Day will return. Promise.

On This Date
In 1851 – The New York Times, then known as The New-York Daily Times, publishes its first edition. It would become The New York Times in 1857 and with the exception of four holidays in the 1850’s and strikes in 1962-63, 1965 and 1978, has published every day since. It has earned 125 Pulitzer Prizes.

In 1996 – Roger Clemens of the Boston Red Sox becomes the only person to strike out 20 batters in a nine-inning game twice in a 4-0 victory over the Detroit Tigers. In 1986 Clemens and struck out 20 Seattle Mariners. The mark was equaled by Kerry Wood of the Chicago Cubs in 1998 and Max Scherzer of the Washington Nationals in 2016.

In 1961 – George Jones is at #1 on Billboard’s country chart, then known as the Hot C&W Sides chart, with Tender Years. The song, in its fifth week at #1, would drop from the top spot the following week before returning to #1 for two more weeks and was the second of 13 #1 country songs for Jones. Tender Years went to #76 on the Billboard Hot 100 and remains Jones’ biggest Hot 100 hit.

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Baby Love was the Supremes’ song that spent the most weeks at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100, four weeks.

Today’s Stumper
What other major league pitcher struck out 20 batters in a game? – Answer next time!

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The Bottom Ten/NCAA Week 4

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