The Daily Dose/July 18, 2019
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
We are in the middle of commemorating the 50th anniversary of the Apollo 11 moon landing. They launched two days ago and on July 20th, 1969 and landed on the moon on the 20th, with Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin becoming the first humans to walk on someplace other than Earth. 

It’s an accomplishment deserving of celebrating. Regular readers of my crap know that we believe the Apollo 11 moon landing is mankind’s finest hour. And it’s not particularly close, either, Apollo 11 providing a line of demarcation from everything that came before to everything that followed like few other events. The birth of Christ, the invention of gun powder, the Beatles, provide similar lines of demarcation, but none close to Apollo 11. 

Today, 50 years later,  it would not be unreasonable to expect us humans to be looking back on America having sent men to Mars and back. In fact, we’ve long thought America could have put people on Mars in the 1980s had we really want to. We didn’t really want to, though. As far as the public was concerned, the remaining five moon missions were anticlimactic and there wasn’t a dynamic president to champion a Mars trip like there was President Kennedy to champion a manned lunar landing. Fresh off Vietnam and still knee-deep in Watergate, there wasn’t even a national will to go the moon anymore, as three following Apollo missions were canceled, officially for lack of funding, but really because of lack of national interest. 

All of this is our loss. For better or worse, it’s in our DNA to explore. It’s why early man crossed rivers and mountains and, later, oceans. It’s why the Wright brothers took to the air and why we went to the moon and it’s why we should have gone to Mars. Today, America cannot even send anyone into space anymore, a national tragedy that should have all of standing in the corner in shame. 

Our complete and utter lack of advancement in manned space flight is our loss. Who knows what technical advancements we’ve missed out on? The biggest advancement we’ve missed out on, though, is having someone standing on Mars and telling us what it’s like to be there. 

We are the lesser for it.

Today At The Site
The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow refuses to haggle with a guest at the hotel, plus it’s a pretty slow day at the VSO. Today’s Diary. 

Then an office manager with a local doctor called, wondering how her office could get on the VA’s approved vendor list…I really don’t know and I can’t do it myself, of course, so I gave her the number to the main switchboard at the hospital south of here…I hated to do that, to introduce a civilian to the living hell that can be the VA phone system, but it was really the best option because it will be good training for when she is obliged to deal with the VA bureaucracy…

It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life.

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On This Date
In 1984 – James Huberty opens fire at a McDonalds restaurant in San Ysidro, California, on the Mexican border, south of San Diego, killing 20 and injuring 19. The incident began a little before 4pm and ended at 5:17pm when Huberty was shot by a police sniper. Huberty had been fired from his job as a security officer the week before and the day before the shooting Huberty had called a mental health clinic requesting an appointment, but he sounded so calm they regarded his call not particularly urgent. Earlier on the day of the shooting Huberty had told his wife he was “going hunting…hunting for humans”. Though the deadliest mass shooting in American history at the time, it only ranks as the seventh biggest now. Though quickly renovated, the McDonalds was ultimately torn down. 

In 1976 – At the Montreal Summer Olympics, Nadia Comaneci of Romania becomes the first gymnast in history to score a perfect 10, doing so on the uneven bars in the team compulsory portion of the competition. Comaneci would earn six other perfect scores at the Montreal Games, and would win three gold medals. The feat was believed to be so unattainable the scoreboard was not able to display a score of 10.0, instead showing a mark of 1.00  The gymnastics international governing body changed their scoring methods in 2006, and there is no longer a consistent perfect score. 

In 1960- Brenda Lee is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the first of three consecutive weeks with I’m Sorry, the first of two #1s for Lee.  The song also peaked at #4 on Billboard’s soul chart and was a country radio staple even though it was never released as a country single. At 15, Lee was the youngest artist to hit #1, a record that was later broken by Little Peggy March and Stevie Wonder and is now held by Michael Jackson. Lee remains the only woman inducted into both the Country Music and Rock and Roll halls of fame. 

Quotebook
Man never really knows his own truth.
Mao Zedong

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Joe DiMaggio had 34 one-hot games during his 56-game hitting streak.

Today’s Stumper
What events did Nadia Comaneci win gold medals in at the Montreal Olympics? – Answer next time!

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The Daily Dose/July 17, 2019
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Leading Off will return.

Today At The Site
The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow has both the phone and the Internet go out a the hotel, and he is back in the gym following Monday’s overeating session. Today’s Diary.

You know, on the one hand, today’s workout was just one of many I’ll do this month and really wasn’t all that important…On the other hand, following Monday’s calzone gorgefest, it was supremely important because without it the next thing you know a bad day eating has turned into a bad week eating before you can say “extra cheese” most of the gains you’ve made in the gym the past couple of months are gone and you are darn near back to square one. 

It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life.

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On This Date
In 1955 – Disneyland opens in Anaheim, California, for the media, invited guests and a live TV audience. It wasn’t a complete success. Workers were still finishing their work and the TV broadcast was rife with miscues. Walt Disney had gotten the idea for an amusement park while watching his family ride the merry-go-round at Los Angeles’ Griffith park, and got further inspiration after visiting amusement parks around the world. Construction had begun a year and a day earlier and Disneyland cost $17 million to build, about $161 million in today’s money. Disneyland opened to the general public the following day and has hosted well over 700 million guests over the years. 

In 1941 – Joe DiMaggio’s major league record 56-game hitting streak comes to an end, as he goes 0-for-3 with a walk as the Yankees defeated the Cleveland Indians 4-3. The streak had started on May 15 with a 1-for-4 effort against the Chicago Cubs and DiMaggio batted .408 during the streak with 15 home runs 55 RBIs. The following day DiMaggio started a 15-game hitting streak.

In 1976 – Something He Can Feel by Aretha Franklin is at #1 on Billboard’s soul chart – then known as the Hot Soul Singles chart – for the fourth and final week. It was Franklin’s 15th of a soul chart record 20 #1 songs (a record she shares with Stevie Wonder) and her 31st Top 40 pop hit. The song also peaked at #28 on Billboard’s Hot 100 and returned to the top of the soul chart in 1992 with a version done by En Vogue.

Quotebook
It is more important to know where you are going than to get there quickly. Do not mistake activity for achievement.
Mabel Newcomber

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
The backup crew for Apollo 11 was James Lovell, William Anders, and Fred Haise.

Today’s Stumper
Hw many games with one hit did Joe DiMaggio have during his 56-game hitting streak? – Answer next time!

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The Daily Dose/July 16, 2019
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
We were reading an article on Novak Djokovic’s apparently thrilling five-set, tie-breaker victory over Roger Federer in the men’s Wimbledon final when we came across a quote from Federer. It came in response to a question about the new fifth set tiebreak, which goes into effect when the fifth set is tied 12-12. It’s a new rule at the Championships, designed to cut to the chase and prevent matches from lasting three days. It was the first Wimbledon final to utilize the 12-12, fifth set tiebreaker, probably a good thing because without it they might still be playing. Federer said: 

I respect whatever the rule is. 

Imagine that, a professional athlete, any athlete, publicly declaring respect for a rule. What a refreshing point of view, especially nowadays when respect for anything, rules, authority, oneself is a vanishing commodity.

We see it on a daily basis. We saw it last week when a minor league pitching coach got thrown out of an Atlantic League game for arguing balls and strikes called by an electronic pitch-calling program. This is where we are at right now: arguing decisions not even made by a human!

Now, in fairness to the coach – former major league pitcher Frank Viola – he wasn’t actually arguing with a computer program, he was arguing with the plate umpire who declined to exercise his prerogative to overrule the electronic umpire, something you probably won’t see unless a pitch that ends up in the nickel seats is called a strike. Viola completely lost his mind, something we are seeing more and more of in sports, and elsewhere, nowadays. Lighten up, Frank. You are arguing, in essence, with an experimental technology that your league is the petri dish for. There was no reason to take to DefCon 1. 

And, of course, there are the daily examples provided by our president, Donal Trump, who every day continues to ignore the rules of protocol and civilized discourse. In fact, the only rule Trump seems to follow is the rule – usually adhered to only by first-graders – of drawing as much attention to yourself as possible. 

We continue to tolerate it, though. We are tolerating the blather and the venom and the racism and friends when we ignore our leader(s) ignoring these rules we are ignoring them ourselves. There are no two ways about it. 

We deserve better than this. We deserve an America that has some sort of dignity and respect for decorum, for others, and for ourselves. We are not going to get the America we deserve though, until we start demanding it, both individually and collectively.

Today At The Site
The Diary of a Nobody: There was an inspection at the hotel, Sparrow goes out to lunch and has the latest on the nesting robins at The Shire. Today’s Diary.

We used to always get reamed on these inspections at the timeshare I used to work at…Good gravy, the Son of Man could have been running the place and there would still have been five pages of discrepancies…I was a supervisor and I’d get called into the office and get beaten upside the head and I’m thinking damn, guests (owners, actually, and boy, they are exponentially more tedious to deal with than hotel guests) are being treated cordially and the phone is getting answered and I’m Satan incarnate because some BS forms aren’t filled out or desk clerks are being friendly and personable instead of reciting the lousy, corporate-scripts we’re given.

It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life.

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On This Date
In 1969 – Man’s greatest adventure begins when, at 9:32am EDT, Apollo 11 lifts off from the Kennedy Space Center on Florida’s east cost. Commanded by Neil Armstrong and manned by lunar module pilot Edwin “Buzz” Aldrin and command module pilot Michael Collins, Apollo 11 would enter Earth orbit twelve minutes later and after an orbit-and-a-half began the three-day trek to the moon. The crew had been woken at 4am and were served the traditional pre-flight meal of steak and eggs. They began their trek to launch pad 39 at 6:30 – about the time fueling of the Saturn V rocket commenced – and began entering the command module a bit before 7am. 

In 1950 – Uruguay wins their second World Cup, defeating host Brazil 2-1 in the final game of the championship round robin. Trailing 1-0, Uruguay got goals in the 66th and 79th minute, to win a game most everybody, especially the Brazillians, thought Brazil would win. The 1950 World Cup remains the only one where the title was not determined in a championship game that followed a single-elimination stage and remains the last World Cup title match featuring two teams from South America. The crowd 199,584 remains the largest crowd to see a sports event that was not an auto or a horse race. 

In 1977 – The Commodores are at #1 on Billboard’s soul chart – then known as the Hot Soul Singles chart – for their only week with Easy. It was the third of seven #1 songs on the soul chart for the group, and their fifth of 13 Top 10 soul hits. The song also peaked at #4 on Billboard’s Hot 100, their biggest pop hit until Three Times a Lady hit #1 the following year. The Commodores last hit the Hot 100 in 1985 when Nightshift went to #5. 

Quotebook
If I should die it would only be a sign that my star has run its course.
Adolf Hiter

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
The Philadelphia Phillies have lost the most games in major league history, 10,964.

Today’s Stumper
Who was the backup crew for Apollo 11? – Answer next time!

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The Daily Dose/July 15, 2019
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Friends, The Daily Dose will return Tuesday.

Click here to read today’s edition of The Diary of a Nobody.

Thank you,

Gaylon

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The Daily Dose/July 14, 2019
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

The Sunday Bottom 5
Celebrating the worst of the week that was.

1. Megan Rapinoe – From her tedious poses to her non-stop yapping, US chick soccer star gives casual, heterosexiual soccer fans one more excuse to ignore boring sport…Our loss, too, because we missed out on a splendid World Cup title that was as dominating as it was triumphant. 
2. Census Bickering – Further proof that our nation is not any better than this…Miasmic, third-rate nation now will oblige non-citizens with nothing to fear to not answer census…Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters “pretty sure” Americans will be soon settling Coke, Pepsi argument with gunfire. 
3. Trump Crisis Management – The Trump Way: make a big deal out of something, anything, then retreat, proclaim victory, then find something else to bicker about…Fabulous way to ensure nothing gets done, that America spends another four years marking time instead of doing something of substance. 
4. Robot Umpires – Electronic umpires now calling balls and strikes in Atlantic League…Debut at all-star game incident-free, but one game into second half was all it took for former MLB pitcher Frank Viola to get run for arguing balls and strikes not even called by human, proving the more things change, the more they don’t change. 
5. Trump Fact Checking – Click here for the latest inaccuracies, including misinformation on the environment, the VA and employment, all from a president who remains either unwilling or unable to tell the truth…It’s hard to say which.

Today At The Site
The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow gives a clinic in letting a guest who has lost their key into their room. Today’s Diary. 

You don’t always need ID in this situation, tho…I remember working security in Sin City – and forgive me if you’ve heard this before – and I let this young lady into her room and she couldn’t find her ID…She is searching her suitcase and ultimately pulls out a pair of brown bra with white dots on them…Then she pulls up her dress to reveal the matching panties, which I declared satisfactory and moved on to my next call. 

It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life.

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On This Date
In 2015 – Man visits Pluto for the first time, as the American spaceship New Horizons flies by what used to be the ninth planet and what is now regarded as merely a big rock. New Horizons had left Earth in January 2006 and at its closest approach came within 7,800 miles of Pluto’s surface. New Horizons remains on duty, too, on its way to the outer limits of our Solar System. Also on this date, in 1965, Mariner 4 passes by Mars, providing man’s first close-up pictures of another planet.

In 2005 – The San Francisco Giants become the first major league team to win 10,000 games, defeating the Los Angeles Dodgers 4-3. The Giants won their first game on May 1, 1883 when, as the New York Gothams, they defeated the Boston Beaneaters – now the Atlanta Braves – 7-5. To date, the Giants have won 11,130 games, still best in major league history, and have won 23 National League pennants and eight World Series titles.

In 1984 – Prince is at #1 for the second of five consecutive weeks on the Billboard Hot 100 with When Doves Cry. It was the first of five #1s for Prince and his third of 19 Top 10 hits. The song also went to #1 in Canada and Australia, was in its third of eight weeks at #1 on Billboard’s soul chart and was Billboard’s biggest song of 1984. The song recharted in 2016, peaking at #8 on the Hot 100 and at #5 on the soul chart, making it one of the few songs in the Rock Era to make the Top 10 in separate chart runs.

Quotebook
But his time is not now, and so the legend dies.
Charles Kuralt

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
A host nation has won the World Cup six times: Uruguay, 1930; Italy, 1934; England, 1966; West Germany (1974; Argentina, 1978;  France, 1998.

Today’s Stumper
What major league team has lost the most games? – Answer next time!

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