The Bottom Ten/NCAA Week 4

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The Diary of a Nobody/September 16

Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Monday, September 16
There was a guy sitting in the far part of the lobby, where the TV is, until 0200 this morning a the hotel…He had his laptop and was working his phone, too, so I guess he was swinging deals in Finland or something because he looked busy…About midnight he comes to the front desk and makes a noise that sounded like part belch, part spoken word…I barely heard it and I wanted to make him wait, but the sooner I got out and dealt with him the sooner I could get back to work.

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The Daily Dose/Monday, September 16, 2019

The Daily Dose/September 16, 2019
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Leading Off will return.

Today At The Site
The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow finds out what a “shifter” is. Today’s Diary.

I have some zero clue what they are talking about, but it sounds like fun so I asked what a “shifter” is.

It turns “shifter” equals a complimentary well drink at the bar after your shift…I am not making that up, with Devani adding, with Q solemnly nodding concurrence, that “shifters” are also available at 0701 for hard-working, freshly off-duty nite auditors…I then asked Devani why/how in the heck I am only now hearing about “shifters”, tonite, a full eleven months after my eligibility for “shifters” began…I told Q it certainly wasn’t part of the night audit training he had provided me…Then Devani said I could even have an orange juice “since you don’t seem to be the type to drink in the morning”. 

“You have no way of knowing that, young lady.”

It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life.

Click here to read The Diary of a Nobody – all entries, past, present and future – for only $5.99

Click here to read the hilarious first two (2) weeks of The Bottom Ten with our compliments. 

On This Date
On This Date will return.

Quotebook
For Confucius, true wisdom is to know the extent of what you don’t know quite as well as you know what you do know.
Gore Vidal
Creation

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Saudi Arabia was the most recent country to adopt the Gregorian calendar, doing so in 2016.

Today’s Stumper
The Trivia feature will return? – Answer next time!

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The Diary of a Nobody/September 15

Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Sunday, September 15
I reported for duty at the usual time and Devani was still finishing up some stuff and we were chatting about nothing in particular when Quentin, who had clocked out an hour earlier, stumbles in from the bar and assumes his usual seat in the lobby waiting for Devani to offer him a ride home (which she ended up doing)…They start talking about something called “shifters” and whether or not they regularly have them after their shift…I have some zero clue what they are talking about, but it sounds like fun so I asked what a “shifter” is.

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The Daily Dose/Sunday, September 15, 2019

The Daily Dose/September 15, 2019
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Friends, all your fave Daily Dose features will return.

Click here today’s entry in The Diary of a Nobody. It’s Read Free Fortnight so, please, enjoy with ol’ Sparrow’s compliments.

God Bless All of You,
Gaylon

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The Diary of a Nobody/September 14

Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Saturday, September 14
Swamped at the hotel tonight…Between arrivals and walk-ins (we had ten rooms available) and sundry stand sales I didn’t even get the drawers counted until 0030 and I didn’t return from delivering folios to departing rooms until 0300, the latest time in the memory of man. 

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The Daily Dose/Saturday, September 14, 2019

The Daily Dose/September 14 2019
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around our human experience…

HERE WE GO AGAIN: Thursday in this space, we talked about the cesspool that is major college sports in this country and how the NCAA’s only concern is making as much money as possible off the back of their vaunted student-athletes. 

At Least They’re Consistent: Some are surprised to find out that college sports have always – and in this context always means from the very beginning – been a cesspool. It goes back to America’s very first intercollegiate sporting event, a regatta between Harvard and Yale on August 3, 1852. Though the challenge was issued by Yale’s rowing club, the event was conveniently held in New Hampshire and was staged by a railroad company who wanted to drum up interest in traveling to a new resort at a lake there. Rowers on both teams were plied with booze and prizes and the first eligibility scandals would hit a few years later. 

Can We Talk?: The NCAA should get out of major-division football and basketball. They aren’t doing anybody any good. Let them continue to sponsor small college sports and championships, something they do really well. Let the big schools incorporate on their own and let the players unionize.

What Do We Want? Collegiate Sports That Aren’t A Cesspool. When Do We Want it? Now.: The players, though they don’t know it, have all the power here. They are not yet able to formally unionize, but there is no reason they cannot organize and decline to enroll unless they are allowed to make some money. The NCAA will yap about their values and their treasured amateurism, but who cares? If the very best collegiate athletes refuse to play, what in the hell is the NCAA going to do? Risk losing their license to print money? Don’t be silly.

Could We Wrap This Up? We’ve said this before: the times they are a-changin’. The NCAA will whine about it and resist it when if they really cared about the kids who are making them rich, they would grab the bull by the horns and set the pace for changes that one hundred years from now people will look back on as inevitable.

Today At The Site
The Diary of a NobodySparrow fills up and gets a free cup of coffee. Today’s Diary. 

I went in for some coffee and when I presented myself at the counter for payment the girl looked at me and the work on her desk and said: 

“How about your coffee being on the house today???”

I laffed to myself…I know a clerk who does not want to ring up a sale when I see one, because I’ve been there myself…I have some modest experience in these matters and I would be very surprised if the coffee cost them more than a dime and I will subtract it from the balance they owe me when they didn’t honor that $25 quote for an oil change. 

It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life.

Click here to read The Diary of a Nobody – all entries, past, present and future – for only $5.99

Click here to read the hilarious first two (2) weeks of The Bottom Ten with our compliments. 

On This Date
In 1752 – The British Empire, which at the time included the colonies that would become the United States, adopts the Gregorian calendar, moving the date from September 2 to the 14th.  The Gregorian calendar had been introduced by Pope Gregory XIII in 1582 to correct errors in the Julian calendar. Though the Gregorian calendar is the de facto international standard, not every nation used it. Some use a modified version, some us it along with another calendar while some, like Iran,  Afghanistan, Nepal, some Indian states and Ethiopia, do not use it at all. 

In 2003 – Jamal Lewis of the Baltimore Ravens establishes a new NFL record for most rushing yards in a game, running for 295 yards in a 33-13 victory over the Cleveland Browns. Lewis carried the ball 30 times and scored two touchdowns and broke the record that had been held by Walter Payton of the Chicago Bears, who had rushed for 275 yards in a 1977 game. The record is now held by Adrian Peterson, then of the Minnesota Vikings, who rushed for 296 yards in 2007. Lewis would lead the NFL in rushing that year with 2,066 yards a mark remains good for fifth on the all-time list. 

In 1957 – Paul Anka is at #1 on Billboard’s Best Sellers in Stores Chart – a predecessor of the Hot 100 – for the only week with Diana. The song also went to #1 in five other countries, including Great Britain and the Netherlands and would later spend two weeks at #1 on Billboard’s soul chart. Anka co-wrote the song and said Diana was a girl he’d had a crush on.

Quotebook
They rode forth to battle without a flag except that flown by their own courage.
Louis L’Amour
The Lonesome Gods

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Of the four WHA teams that joined the NHL, only the Edmonton Oilers are in their original city. The original Winnipeg Jets are the Phoenix Coyotes, the Hartford Whalers are the Carolina Hurricanes and the Quebec Nordiques are the Colorado Avalanche.

Today’s Stumper
Which country was the last to adopt the Gregorian calendar? – Answer next time!

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The Diary of a Nobody/September 13

Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Friday, September 13
Boy, Thursday nite’s post meeting was the worst ever…It was a combined with meeting with the VFW, which most of our meetings are, but it was at the VFW and for some reason they provided dinner and there were several new members, all of whom took several minutes to tell us about themselves, and everyone else yapped forever, too…I didn’t get home till after 2200.   

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The Daily Dose/Friday, September 13, 2019

The Daily Dose/September 13, 2019
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around our human experience…

PLAY BALL: California – a state that in one election said no to legal week while reelecting Jerry Brown governor – is close to bucking the NCAA and allowing collegiate athletes to make money during the college careers. 

Dry, Technical Matter: The law would allow students at California’s four-year colleges – 58 of whom are members of the NCAA – to hire agents to work deals for them for endorsements, sponsorships, shoe deals or whatever else they can drum up. The bill has passed both the California State Assembly and Senate and is awaiting Gov. Gavin Newsome’s signature. It would not take effect until 2023. 

Get Your Official Daily Dose Policy Right Here: Gov. Newsome should not only sign the bill, he should send copies of it his fellow governors, the mayor of Washington, D.C. and his counterpart in British Columbia, which is also home to an NCAA school, Simon Fraser University. He should urge all of them to have their state/city/province draw up similar legislation immediately if not sooner. 

But Seriously, Folks: Really, the NCAA should get into the comedy racket. This from their letter to California Governor Gavin Newsom urging a veto of the bill: 

NCAA member schools already are working on changing rules for all student-athletes to appropriately use their name, image and likeness in accordance with our values.

Oh, Jesus H: With your values? You’ve got to be kidding. The only value the NCAA has is money: simultaneously acting as pimp, whore and john: prostituting their athletes – and themselves – to strafe everyone – fans, network, sponsors – for every last possible dollar. 

Because bullies accustomed to getting their way threaten, the letter also noted California schools would “eventually” not be allowed to compete for, and probably host, NCAA championships. 

Dry, Technical Matter: What’s funny is allowing college athletes to go and make a few bucks off their efforts would, almost immediately, end the bribery and other sleeze that currently attends major college sports. 

Broad Historical Perspective: Fighting this is not much different than plantation owners of another era objecting to the passage of the Thirteenth Amendment and the NCAA has two options here: they can circle their ivy-walled wagons or they can show some uncharacteristic foresight and set the pace on reforming college sports. Their athletes are making them rich. The athletes should be able to cash in, too. 

Today At The Site
The Diary of a NobodySparrow and The Wife try to replace the handles on the kitchen faucet. Today’s Diary. 

The plumbing place right on the right side as you pull into town was manned by the twelve-year-old who knew squat about plumbing…Then we went to lunch at our fave Mexican joint…Then we went to the retailer out there for some coffee, and a monthly planner for my desk (it’s what I log my sleep hours in) and something else I’ve forgotten…Then we went to hardware store out there and BINGO, we ran into a kid who also happened to be an apprentice plumber…He had some suggestions I presume were helpful tho I don’t know for sure because I didn’t understand them tho The Wife seemed to, so we headed home.

When we got back The Wife tried to unscrew the base of one of the handles and almost tore the whole faucet out…We looked at each other and decided to get someone who knew what they were doing…We didn’t know anybody offhand, so I dispatched myself to the local market, where they have the new hardware store addition, and asked the crew there if they had a recommendation for a handyman. 

It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life.

Click here to read The Diary of a Nobody – all entries, past, present and future – for only $5.99

Click here to read the hilarious first two (2) weeks of The Bottom Ten with our compliments. 

On This Date
 In 1814 – The United States prevents the British from taking Baltimore in the War of 1812. The battle inspired Baltimore attorney Francis Scott Key to write a poem called The Defense of Fort McHenry. Soon after, the words were set to the tune of an old English drinking song, re-titled The Star-Spangled Banner, and, in 1931, was made the national anthem of the United States. The Star-Spangled Banner actually has four verses, though only the first is customarily sung. 

In 1971 – The World Hockey Association (WHA) is announced by Dennis Murphy and Gary Davidson, both of whom had been involved in founding the American Basketball Association. The WHA began play in October, 1972 and the New England Whalers won the first WHA championship. Plagued from the start with financial problems and franchise instability, it ceased operations in 1979, with the Edmonton Oilers, the Whalers, Quebec Nordiques and Winnipeg Jets joining the NHL. 

In 1969 – The Rolling Stones are at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the fifth time with Honky Tonk Woman. The song was in its fourth and final week at #1 and was their 18th Top 40 hit. The song also  went to #1 in five other countries, including Great Britain and Switzerland and was Billboard’s fourth biggest song of the year. The song, with slightly different lyrics and titled Country Tonk, was released on the Stones’ 1969 album Let It Bleed.

Quotebook
…for my greatest skill has been to want but little.
Henry David Thoreau

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
The major league record for most strikeouts in a game is 26, done several times, all in extra inning games, most recently this past August 23, when the New York Mets struck out 26 Atlanta Braves.

Today’s Stumper
Of the four WHA teams that joined the NHL, how many are still in their original city? – Answer next time!

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The Diary of a Nobody/September 12

Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Thursday, September 12
I got one heck of a workout in this morning…I did all the upped weights, tho I wasn’t able to get all of them up ten times…Some I only got up eight times and the bench press I was only able to do six times at the upped weight…No matter…Doing the upped weights is good for morale and if you keep doing them, eventually you’ll get them up ten times. 

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