The Daily Dose/August 28, 2022
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™

The Sunday Bottom 5
A ranking of some things.

1. Student Loan Forgiveness – Pay your debts, dammit…And if the government is going to do this, why not forgive all student debt under the guise of getting the economy moving again???…Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters “pretty sure” they’d support a plan to forgive all VA mortgages.
2. Student Loan Forgiveness II – And why is the government in the student loan business anyway???…This is why college tuition had and is skyrocketing: if you had a business and your customer’s costs were guaranteed by the government, you’d jack up prices, too.
3. USA! USA! – The 3-hole staple…Country still far closer to the oblivion that awaits it than the prosperity, influence it once had because no nation can survive perpeltual war, deep social divide, and an utter lack of national vision – not to mention Donald Trump and his supporters – forever…Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters “strongly suspect” America has until half-century is out to show it can govern itself before someone comes in and does it for us.
   
4. Major League Baseball – Game continues to foist lousy baseball on fan(s), with no less than five (5) teams playing less than .400 ball this late in the season for the first time since 1998…Complete inability of pitchers to hit strike zone key, of course, but batters only putting 24 in play per game nowadays ain’t helping either.
   
5. Fake News – The mosst reliable fake news out there…Click here for a recap of real fake news, things the wizards among us were actually believing…Courtesy of the AP. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

Yes, it is Read Free Sunday (RFS) at The Diary. 

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow gets an email congratulating the staff on the number of reward club signups. Today’s Diary. 

It was kind of funny because emails like this are never sent and we strongly suspect Q only sent it so he could demonstrate his commanding lead in the rewards club signup race because the latest tallies aren’t put up on the back office whiteboard anymore. 

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On This Date
Extra, extra, read all about it.  

In 1867 – The US gains possession of the Midway Atoll when a Navy captain takes possession of it. From 1941 until 1993 the atoll hosted a US Navy air facility and there are now about 40 residents, mainly US government employees and contract workers. Though part of the Hawaiian Archipelago, Midway is not part of the state of Hawaii, and remains an unorganized and unincorporated US territory. It observes Samoan time and the atoll had been uninhabited until the 19th century. 

In 1972 – North Korea wins its first ever Olympic gold medal when Ri Ho-jun wins the 50-meter rifle prone competition. Ri scored 599 points out of a possible 600 to defeat Victor Auer of the US and Nicolae Rotaru of Romania by one point, with Auer getting the silver medal due to a better score in the final stage. It was the first Summer Olympic appearance for the country and North Korea has since won 15 further gold medals. The country had first appeared in the Olympics at the 1964 Innsbruck Winter Games. 

In 1965 – Sonny and Cher is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the third and final consecutive week with I Got You Babe. It was the first chart single for the duo, their first of five Top 10 hits and remains their only #1 song. The song also went to #1 in New Zealand, Canada, and Great Britain, and peaked at #19 on Billboard’s soul chart, their only soul chart appearance either as either a duo or solo acts. Cher would later have four #1 songs as a solo act. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.

…they decided that to eat state corn in the city was better than to sweat on the land…Sloth combined with superstition…Wealth mounted, but did not spread.
Will Durant
The Story of Civilization, Vol. III: Caesar to Christ

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

The man who has won the most consecutive US Open tennis titles in the Open Era is Roger Federer of Switzerland, who won five consecutive between 2004 and 2008.

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

What’s the westernmost point in the United States, by direction of travel? – Answer next time!

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The Daily Dose/August 27, 2022
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™

Leading Off
Notes from around our human experience.

Leading Off will return. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow has lunch at the newly-reopened college dining hall. Today’s Diary. 

I’ll tell you what, there was a time when today’s menu of, among other things, grilled cheese sandwiches and corn dogs would’ve caused ol’ Sparrow to achieve and maintain a state of arousal – not to mention gas – but we were able to stay away from those things today…

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Click here to get in on the laughs.
4Ever & Ever ($8.99) and monthly ($2.99) plans available.

Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device. 

———

On This Date
Extra, extra, read all about it.  

In 1956 – The world’s first commercial, industrial-scale nuclear power plant starts generating electricity at Calder Hall in northwest England. The primary purpose of the facility was to produce plutonium for Britain’s nuclear weapons programs, a function that ended in 1995. The plant was decommissioned in 2003 and the defueling of the reactors was completed in 2019. Today the site is known as Sellafield and houses more than 200 nuclear facilities. 

In 1884 – Richard Sears of the US wins the US National Tennis Championship – now the US Open – defeating Howard Taylor of the US 6-0, 1-6, 6-0, 6-2 in Newport, Rhode Island. It was the only match of the tournament for the defending champion Sears, a format that lasted through 1911. It was the fourth US Open and the fourth win for Sears, who would win the first seven titles, remaining the only player to do so. Sears also won the doubles title with James Dwight. 

In 2005 – Toby Keith is at #1 on Billboard’s country chart – then and now known as the Hot Country Songs chart – for the sixth and final consecutive week with As Good As I Once Was. It was the 28th of 41 Top 10 country hits for Keith and his 15th of 19 #1 songs. The song also went #2 country in Canada, peaked at #28 on the Hot 100, and was Billboard’s second biggest country song of the year, The song spent 22 weeks on the country chart, including 18 in the Top 10. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.

I want only to live as I do, as a student./Studying to what end?/To know myself. What else?
Gore Vidal
Julian

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

The major league player with the most triples in a season this century is Curtis Granderson of the Detroit Tigers, who had 23 in 2007. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

Which man has won the most consecutive US Open titles in the Open era? – Answer next time!

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The Daily Dose/August 26, 2022
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™

Leading Off
Notes from around our human experience.

Leading Off will return. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow heads home from the big city a day early. Today’s Diary. 

The big [reason] was sleeping in our own bed…Regular readers of this crap know that sleeping in hotels is always a crapshoot for ol’ Sparrow: sometimes we sleep well, sometimes we don’t, and once – on that trip to the basketball game in Utah – we didn’t sleep at all…

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Click here to get in on the laughs.
4Ever & Ever ($8.99) and monthly ($2.99) plans available.

Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device. 

———

On This Date
Extra, extra, read all about it.  

In 1920 – Tennesse’s ratification of the 19th Amendment to the US Constitution, giving women the right to vote, is certified by Secretary of State Bainbridge Colby. Tennessee had become the 36th state to ratify the amendment on August 18, a process that had begun with Illinois ratifying the amendment in June 2019. The final state to ratify the amendment was Mississippi in 1984 and Congress had first considered a women’s suffrage amendment in 1878.

In 1912 – Owen Wilson of the Pittsburgh Pirates establishes a new major league record for most triples in a season in an 8-4 loss to the Boston Braves in the second game of a doubleheader. Wilson’s second triple of the game gave him 32 for the season to break the record of 31 that had been done twice previously. Wilson finished the season with 36 triples and the record still stands. The mark received little attention at the time because it was believed Cap Anson had hit 44 triples in 1903 when he had actually only hit eleven. 

In 1972 – Looking Glass is at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the only week with Brandy (You’re a Fine Girl). It was the first chart single for the group, their first of two top 40 hits and remains their only #1 song. The song also went to #1 in Canada, peaked at #51 in Great Britain, and was Billboard’s 12th-biggest song of the year. The song helped boost the popularity of the name Brandy amongst girls in the US, from 351st in 1971 to 82nd in 1973 and the song spent four weeks at #2 before reaching #1. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.

I work harder than anyone who has ever lived. I am not well and worn out with this stupendous labor, and yet I am patient to achieve the desired end.
Michelangelo
Letter to Brother, while painting Sistine Chapel

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

Saturn has 82 moons, 29 of which are awaiting confirmation and naming. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

What player has hit the most triples in a season this century? – Answer next time!

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The Daily Dose/August 25, 2022
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™

Leading Off
Notes from around our human experience.

TAKE ME OUT TO THE BALLGAME: Baseball, of course, has changed and not necessarily for the better and attendance continues its decade-and-a-half decline and TV viewers continue to ignore the postseason. This is hardly a bulletin, though, as it has always evolved, just like other sports have. Usually, these changes have been embraced, but the game is not as much fun to watch now as it used to be. 

Get Your Official Daily Dose Policy Right Here: Baseball’s problems can be traced to one thing: the demise of the complete game. What used to happen about a quarter of the time in the 1970s has been going down ever since and it’s to the point now where only one percent of big league games feature a pitcher going the distance and that’s rounding up. 

Thanks, Guys: This tragedy can be laid directly at the door of the pitch counts and innings limits that are now standard in youth and other amateur leagues. By the time a kid signs a professional contract, they are unable to pitch more than a few innings a game. 

Dry, Technical Matter: Teams have averaged over four pitchers per game since 2015 and only once this century has a pitcher had more than ten complete games in a season, James Shields, who had eleven for Tampa Bay in 2011. Last year’s leader had three. 

FunFact: The last major leaguer to have 20 complete games in a season was Fernando Valenzuela of the Los Angeles Dodgers, who had 20 in 1986. 

The Bottom Line: If baseball wants to end the dependence on analytics, end the shifts and batters teeing off and looking for home runs, it must start producing pitchers who can throw smoke for nine innings. Make the requirement for a quality start at least seven innings with two runs allowed instead of the current six innings and three runs. Don’t look for this to change anytime soon, though. The demise of the complete game was gradual and if baseball ever decides to groom starters to go nine again, that change will be gradual, too. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow goes to a baseball game. Today’s Diary. 

The game blew, the home team losing 16-4 of all the silly things, the game out of hand before anybody needed a deodorant…There were a couple of good defensive plays but that was really it; there was no reason to bring your history book to this one. 

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Click here to get in on the laughs.
4Ever & Ever ($8.99) and monthly ($2.99) plans available.

Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device. 

———

On This Date
Extra, extra, read all about it.  

In 1981 & 1989 – Voyager 2 makes its closest point of approach to Saturn and Neptune. It was the first spacecraft to visit Neptune and discovered, among other things, five moons and four rings. Voyager II was launched in 1977, left the Solar System in 2018, and is now the third-farthest man-made object from Earth, trailing Pioneer 10 and her sister Voyager 1. The probe flew past Jupiter in 1979 and Uranus in 1986 and while NASA still has contact with it, the spacecraft is expected to lose all power by 2025. 

In 1904 – James Jeffries defends his world heavyweight boxing title, defeating Jack Munroe via a second-round TKO at Mechanics Pavillion in San Francisco. It was the seventh and final title defense for Jeffries, who retired after the bout. Jeffries had won the title from  Bob Fitzsimmons in 1899 and had unified it with a win over Tom Sharkey later that year. Jeffries came out of retirement in 1910, losing to world heavyweight champion Jack Johnson in a 15th-round TKO. 

In 1979 – The Charlie Daniels Band is at #1 on Billboard’s country chart – then known as the Hot Country Singles chart – for the only week with The Devil Went Down To Georgia. The song also went #1 country in Canada, peaked at #14 in Great Britain, and at #3 on the Hot 100. The line “chicken in a bread pan pickin’ out dough” comes from the song Ida Red by Bob Wills & His Texas Playboys and the song remains the band’s only #1 country hit in a chart career that spanned from 1973 to 2003. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.

…the ultimate power is not to preside in a white house or open a parliament while seated on a throne but to reinvent the world for everyone by giving them the dreams that you wanted them to dream.
Gore Vidal
Lincoln

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

Aretha Franklin’s first #1 song on Billboard’s soul chart was I’ve Never Loved a Man (The Way I Love You) which spent seven weeks at #1 in 1967. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

How many moons does Saturn have? – Answer next time!

Share Gaylon! Go!

The Daily Dose/August 24, 2022
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™

Leading Off
Notes from around our human experience.

HUT, HUT HIKE…OR NOT: The stories are eerily similar. Only the locations change: high school sports schedules are being significantly impacted because there simply are not enough people to officiate their games. 

Running The Numbers: The figures are staggering: over 50,000 high school officials have left the trade since 2019 – some pandemic related, of course – and between two-thirds and three-quarters of new officials do not make it to Year 3. This impacts officials, too; those that have stayed are working more games and inexperienced officials are working varsity games years before they could normally expect to. And because some of those who have left are really good, the quality of officiating has gone down, too. 

Thank You, Sherlock Holmes: The reason officials are leaving is because officials are now treated like crap, with both verbal and physical abuse on the rise. Who wants a workplace where you’re told you suck every five minutes and the risk of physical abuse is real? If your workplace provided this, you’d probably leave, too.

Dry, Technical, Matter: It wasn’t always this way. When we broke into the trade in 1991 sure, you got yelled at but usually only after what in the trade are known as bangers, the really close ones. Now you get crap all the time from everyone and there’s something else, too: it’s personal now, with those yelling at you acting like you’re stealing something from them or their precious little brat. 

Get Your Daily Dose Policy Right Here: Our own opinion is good, let them scramble. Hopefully, games will start getting canceled because there aren’t officials for it or, better yet, let’s get coaches out there with a whistle and a striped shirt and some zero clue what they are doing have them make rather technical calls in partisan, highly-charged environments and see how they like it. 

The Bottom Line: But we deserve better and we recommend that every sports official simply up and quit. Screw it. We’re professional men and women providing professional services and we leave and not come back until appropriate environments are provided. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow has the latest MPG figures for the new ride. Today’s Diary. 

40.22 MPG….Back in the 40 MPG high life again.

———

Click here to get in on the laughs.
4Ever & Ever ($8.99) and monthly ($2.99) plans available.

Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device. 

———

On This Date
Extra, extra, read all about it.  

In 1814 – The British army takes the capital of the United States for the second time, occupying Washington City and burning the White House, the Capitol, and other buildings. The British had also taken Philadelphia in the American Revolution and while taking a capital in wartime usually means winning the war, it didn’t in either case. In the Revolution, Philadelphia had already been evacuated and in the War of 1812, Washington City wasn’t regarded as being too important. 

In 1925 – Helen Wills Moody wins her third consecutive US National Championship in tennis, defeating Kitty McCane Godfrey 3-6, 6-0, 6-2 at the West Side Tennis Club in Forest Hills, New York City. It was the third of seven US Open titles for Moody, and her third of 19 Grand Slam titles. It was the only US Open finals appearance for McKane, who also won two Wimbledon titles and five Olympic medals. With Mary Browne, Moody also won her third of four doubles titles and the tournament became the US Open in 1968. 

In 1985 – Aretha Franklin is at #1 on Billboard’s soul chart – then known as the Hot Black Singles chart – for the fourth of five consecutive weeks with Freeway of Love. It was the 20th and final #1 soul hit for Franklin, an all-time soul chart record later tied by Stevie Wonder and now held by Drake (25). The song also peaked at #51 in Great Britain, at #3 on the Hot 100, and was Billboard’s 7th-biggest soul song of the year. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.

We are going to sing so that they will remember this for the rest of their lives. There is no other reason to do it, folks, none.
Garrison Keillor
Love Me

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

Caesar Chavez was born in Yuma, Arizona. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

What was Aretha Frankin’s first #1 soul hit? – Answer next time!

Share Gaylon! Go!