The Daily Dose/August 19, 2021
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience. 

Leading Off is running intermittently for the time being as work on one of our tedious, ubiquitous projects continues. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow declines to open the hot tub early for a guest. Today’s Diary. 

– I’m sorry, sir, the pools and hot tub open at 0830.
– Can’t you let me in???
His tone was dismissive, as if dipwads like me violate company policy on his behalf as a matter of course.
– I’m afraid not, sir…I’m sorry.
– Can you call someone?

Oh, Jesus, H, someone else needing to be appeased…I could, I suppose…I have three separate phones at my disposal and I could call the f*cking Pentagon on the matter, but there’s no reason to trouble them because ol’ Sparrow’s bringing the tablets down from Mount Sinai on this one: no admittance. 

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It’s easy reading on any device. 

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———

On This Date
The long march to today. 

In 1812 – The USS Constitution defeats the British ship HMS Guerriere off the coast of Nova Scotia in the War of 1812. The victory was so decisive that Americans removed the British crewmen and burned the ship and though made of wood Constitution’s hull proved so strong during this battle it earned the nickname Old Ironsides. Still in commissioned service to the United States, Constitution is currently homeported in Boston and remains the oldest ship in the world still afloat. 

In 1900 – Cricket makes its only appearance in the Olympics, with Great Britain defeating France by 158 runs in Paris. Teams from Belgium and the Netherlands withdrew and the British team was a local team touring France while the French team was mainly British expatriates. Cricket was scheduled at both the 1896 and 1904 Summer Games but was canceled each time due to a lack of competing nations. The match was originally considered part of the Paris World’s Fair and wasn’t officially recognized as an Olympic event until 1912. 

In 1978 – The Commodores are at #1 on both Billboard’s Hot 100 and its soul chart for the second and final consecutive week with Three Times a Lady. It was the seventh of 17 Top 40 hits for the group and their first of two #1 songs. The song also went to #1 in four other countries including Ireland and Great Britain and was Billboard’s 10th-biggest song of the year. The song was nominated for a Grammy Award for Best Vocal Performance by a Duo or Group.

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

Indifference to evil makes evil stronger.
Elie Wiesel

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

The British and German commanders on August 18, 1940 – known to History as the Hardest Day – were Royal Air Force General Hugh Dowding and german Reichsmarchall Hermann Goring

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

Who won the 1979 Grammy Award Best Vocal Performance by a Duo or Group? – Answer next time!

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The Daily Dose/August 18, 2021
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience. 

Leading Off is running intermittently for the time being. We’re working on a project. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow has the latest on Monday night’s incident in the small town. Today’s Diary. 

…it turned out to be a road rage incident with a shot fired and the dude ended up being hooked up on an attempted 2nd-degree homicide charge…This wasn’t in the paper, of course, the small town actually put something up on their Faceplant page, and it was a local kid taken into custody without trouble.

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Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device. 

Columns, books, shopping lists, click here to get in on the laughs.
4Ever & Ever ($8.99) and monthly ($2.99) plans available.

———

On This Date
The long march to today. 

In 1940 – The British Royal Air Force (RAF) and the German Luftwaffe engage in an air battle in southern England that History refers to as the Hardest Day, part of the Battle of Britain. The battle was a German attempt to destroy the RAF Fighter Command to prepare for a land invasion and while Britain lost fewer men and airplanes than the Germans, the results of the battle are generally considered to be inconclusive. The Battle of Britain ended in October with a British victory. 

In 1915 – Braves Field in Boston opens with the Boston Braves defeating the St Louis Cardinals 3-1. Through its closing in 1952, it hosted 2,814 Braves games, 65 Boston Red Sox games (figures that include World Series appearances for each team) and ten NFL games. The Braves had spent the previous two years playing at Fenway Park and before that assorted home fields since their founding as a National Association team in 1871. Today it is the site of Boston University’s football stadium, Nickerson Field. 

In 1984 – Prince is at #1 on the Billboard 200 album chart for the second of 24 consecutive weeks with Purple Rain. It was the first of four #1 albums for Prince and the album produced five Top 40 hits including the #1s When Doves Cry and Let’s Go Crazy. The album went to #1 in three other countries and was Billboard’s second-biggest album of the year, its ninth-biggest of 1985 and its 55th-biggest of 2016. Purple Rain was also in its third of 19 consecutive weeks at #1 on Billboard’s soul album chart.  

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

To be free, the slave must first refuse the master’s gruel.
Vin Suprynowicz

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

Pete Rose is the only major league baseball player to play in at least 600 consecutive games twice: 678 games from 1973-78 and 745 games from 1978-83. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

Who were the British and German commanders on the Hardest Day? – Answer next time!

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The Daily Dose/August 17, 2021
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience. 

Leading Off is running intermittently for the time being. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody – There is something going on in the small town, but Sparrow isn’t entirely sure what it is. Today’s Diary. 

Officer Friendly – who commands the local Legion post – doesn’t appear to be in need of any immediate assistance so I go and get the mail, which contains nothing particularly interesting and why ol’ Sparrow went and checked the mail at this unusual time is not immediately clear…On the return trip BOOM the patrol car’s cop lights are going full bore and no one is in sight, the two perps presumably in custody in the back with Officer Friendly in the front seat…It’s not over yet, tho, as on the drive in there are no less than two police cars – unknown if they’re state troopers or county sheriff’s deputies – are hightailing it in the opposite direction, presumable to help Officer Friendly but perhaps it was something else.

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Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device. 

Columns, books, shopping lists, click here to get in on the laughs.
4Ever & Ever ($8.99) and monthly ($2.99) plans available.

———

On This Date
The long march to today. 

In 1977 – The Soviet ship Arktika – a nuclear-powered icebreaker – becomes the first surface ship to reach the North Pole. The ship had been launched in 1972 and in 2000, the Arktika became the first civilian ship to spend a year at sea without pulling into port and was retired in 2008. The first ship to visit the North Pole was the American submarine Nautilus, in 1958. 

In 1933 – Lou Gehrig of the New York Yankees establishes a new major league record for most consecutive games played in 7-6, 10-inning loss to the St Louis Browns. It was the 1,308th consecutive game for Gehrig, who broke the record established by Everett Scott of the Boston Red Sox and the Yankees from 1916-25. Gehrig would finish with 2,130 consecutive games played, a mark now held by Cal Ripken, Jr (2,632; 1982-98). 

In 1974 – Paper Lace is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the only week with The Night Chicago Died. It was the second of three chart singles for the group and remains their only Top 40 hit. The song also went to #1 in Australia and New Zealand and peaked at #3 in their native Great Britain. Over the years, the song has had versions recorded in Spanish, Finnish and Korean.

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

…how is it that we know any thing…except by the analogies of past experience? What has once happened will invariably happen again.
Abraham Lincoln
From Lincoln: The Biography of a Writer by Fred Kaplan

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

The heads of state for the US and Great Britain during the War of 1812 were President James Madison and King George III. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

Of the 20 major league players to have played in at least 600 consecutive games, who is the only player to do it twice? – Answer next time!

Go Gaylon! Visit Gaylon on Facebook here. 

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The Daily Dose/August 15, 2021
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience. 

Leading Off is running intermittently for the time being. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow has a busy morning at the hotel. Today’s Diary. 

Morning Coffee Service (MCS) was supremely busy this morning…There’s a triathlon in town and competitors were up early and drinking coffee like they were well, about to compete in a triathlon, and there was a brief period where only one pot was out, as horrifying as it is rare for someone who puts the diligence into MCS that ol’ Sparrow does. 

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Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device. 

Columns, books, shopping lists, click here to get in on the laughs.
4Ever & Ever ($8.99) and monthly ($2.99) plans available.

———

On This Date
The long march to today. 

In 1812 – The British army, led by Major General Issac Brock, defeats an American force with superior numbers in the Siege of Detroit in the War of 1812. Using a variety of intrigues and subterfuges, Brock led American General William Hull to believe he had more troops and Indians than he really had and Hull surrendered Fort Detroit without a fight. The British would hold Detroit for more than a year before losing it in a naval battle on Lake Erie and the war ended in 1815 without a clear winner. 

In 1743 – English boxing champion Jack Broughton promulgates the first rules of boxing. Amongst the rules were a 30-second knockdown rule, no hitting of a downed fighter and fighters being allowed to kneel and take a 30-second count. The earliest accounts of boxing – which derived from fencing because swords were becoming less common – date from 1681 when a duke brokered a match between two of his servants. 

In 1980 – Diana Ross is at #1 on Billboard’s soul chart – then known as the Hot Soul Singles chart – for the first of four consecutive weeks with Upside Down. It was her third #1 soul song as a solo act, and her tenth of eleven soul #1s, counting hits with Lionel Ritchie and the Supremes. The song would later spend four weeks at #1 on the Hot 100 and also went to #1 in seven other countries, including New Zealand and Norway and peaked at #2 in Great Britain. It was Billboard’s 18th biggest song of the year and ranked 80th on their 60th Anniversary Hot 100 in 2018. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

I had found what I was looking for – a man like myself, but one who in his search for meaning had discovered a worthwhile object for his life; who had paid every price and not counted it a sacrifice; who was paying it still and would pay it till he died…who had reduced his life to the one thing that mattered to him, and was free.
John LeCarre
The Secret Pilgrim

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

Gale Sondergaard was originally offered the role of the wicked witch of the west in The Wizard of Oz, but ended up not being pleased with the role.  

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

Who were the American and British heads of state during the War of 1812? – Answer next time!

Go Gaylon! Visit Gaylon on Facebook here. 

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The Daily Dose/August 15, 2021
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

The Sunday Bottom 5
A ranking of some things.

Editor’s Note: Lauren Daigle’s song ‘You Say’ is at #2 on Billboard’s Hot Christian Songs chart this week. It will return to its usual home at #3 if/when it returns to #1 for a Billboard all-chart record 133rd non-consecutive week. The Morman Tabernacle Choir sends regards. 

1. COVID Non-Vaccinators – GET VACCINATED DAMMIT!!!…We can only herald the wonders of personal choice so long before accommodation becomes appeasement…Quit being contrary…Besides, Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters “pretty sure” microchip insertion is only so Google can better target ads into our brains. 

2. Andrew Cuomo – New York governor resigns – as he should have – despite having only roughly half the number of sexual assault allegations as Donald Trump…Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters “pretty sure” they have some zero clue why Trump – who admits to grabbing women by the pussy – continues to get a free pass. 

3. Donald Trump Supporters – Once and future 3-hole staple, former president remains a lying sexual predator who believes the moon is part of Mars…And that the Revolution was won by the securing of British airports…Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters remain “pretty sure” asking Trump supporters which of these elements continues to solidify their support still reasonable question. 

4. Afghanistan – You’re on your own, now guys…After 20 years you probably would’ve been better off submitting to Soviet Union…America’s longest war – undeclared by Congress, of course – ends with Afghanistan once again poised to be brought kicking and screaming into stone age by Taliban. 

5. Major League Baseball – Field of Dreams not a completely hokey, cornball affair, though Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters remain “pretty sure” if you guys really wanted to make an impact you should hold a Bed-Sty Classic or a Watts Weekend, with players entering field from county jail buses instead of cornfields. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

Q: Is it Read Free Sunday (RFS) at The Diary?
A: Damn straight it is. 

The Diary of a Nobody – Someone’s been farting around with the sundry stand and Sparrow does not approve. Today’s Diary. 

Some wizard has changed the way the ice cream sandwiches – Klondikes, Reece’s, M&Ms – are displayed….Before, they were all laid on their backsides, rather sensibly if you ask me…This wasn’t good enuff for some up-and-coming marketing wizard here – there are no suspects – and now the ice cream sandwiches are standing on their bottom edge…Actually, there were only Klondike and M&M sandwiches out there because the Reece’s sandwiches were replaced by those infernal Push-Up while I was gone for two nites…I was going to change them, but it was pretty slammed tonite, so perhaps I’ll get to it tomorrow when we’re sold out again. 

———

Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device. 

Columns, books, shopping lists, click here to get in on the laughs.
4Ever & Ever ($8.99) and monthly ($2.99) plans available.

———

On This Date
The long march to today. 

In 1939 – The movie The Wizard of Oz premieres in Hollywood – following several test screenings around the country – at Grauman’s Chinese Theater. Except for some quibbling over the special effects, the movie opened to almost universal acclaim. Despite this, high production and other costs originally resulted in a loss for MGM and the studio didn’t start turning a profit on the film for ten years. It was nominated for five Oscars and won two, for Best Original Score and Best Original Song. 

In 1886 – Guy Hecker of the Louisville Colonels (American Association) establishes new major league records for most runs and total bases in a game and ties the single-game marks for home runs and hits in a 22-5 win over the Baltimore Orioles in the second game of a doubleheader. Hecker scored seven runs and had 15 total bases, along with three home runs and six hits. The seven runs scored remains the major league record and everything remains records for pitchers.

In 1953 – Les Paul and Mary Ford are at #1 on Billboard’s Best Sellers in Stores chart – a predecessor to the Hot 100 – for the second of eleven consecutive weeks with Vaya con Dios. It was the third and final #1 song on a Billboard pop chart for the duo in a chart career that lasted from 1945-61. The song also peaked at #7 in Great Britain and was Billboard’s second-biggest song of the year behind Percy Faith’s The Theme From Moulin Rouge, which also spent eleven weeks at #1.  

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

Vision without action is delusion.
Wes Watson

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

Billboard’s #1 song of 1982 was Physical by Olivia Newton-John, which spent ten weeks at #1, then tied for the Hot 100 record. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

Who was the actress who turned down the wicked witch of the west role that went to Margaret Hamilton? – Answer next time!

Go Gaylon! Visit Gaylon on Facebook here.  

Share Gaylon! Go!