The Daily Dose/Sunday, July 25, 2021
The Daily Dose/July 25, 2021
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
The Sunday Bottom 5
A ranking of some things.
1. Big 12 Conference – Nice knowing you guys, as obituaries being prepared for noted collegiate conference as Texas and Oklahoma prepare to leave for SEC…Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters “pretty sure” pinning hopes of sticking around by adding Colorado State, BYU, Rice, “like, completely whack and stuff”.
2. Cleveland Guardians – Like you did, we thought this name was a stupid choice to replace Indians, but some research shows it does have some local significance…Original American League team becomes second club – after old Brooklyn Dodgers – to name team as tribute to local transportation.
3. Donald Trump Supporters – New 3-hole staple, former president remains a lying sexual predator who believes the moon is part of Mars…And that the Revolution was won by the securing of British airports…Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters remain “pretty sure” asking Trump supporters which of these elements continues to solidify their support still reasonable question.
4. Tokyo Olympics – IOC cash haul underway, as COVID cases amongst Olympic personnel only at 127 while Tokyo remains under a state of emergency…Though no country sent only one athlete, several only sent two, including Nauru – an island in the Pacific, we looked it up – who sent a guy sprinter and a chick weightlifter…72 countries are still looking for their first Olympic medal.
5. Former President Trump Fact Check – Fact-checkers union back at full strength as the lies have it, with Trump back at it, issuing as many lies as ever concerning 2020 election he lost fair and square…Click here for latest…Courtesy of AP.
Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually.
Yay for Read Free Sunday (RFS) at The Diary.
The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow deals with an idiot on the phone. Today’s Diary.
Good gravy, what a dolt…What I wanted to say was uh, yeah, dumb-dumb, sold out does, in fact, refer to the whole GD effing property, but I only said, with relentless cordiality, I was afraid so…Sir…Reasons for the following two calls will always remain an enduring mystery…Perhaps he thought he was calling a different hotel or maybe he thought something had opened up in the last ten minutes…His motives remain unclear.
———
Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device.
Columns, books, shopping lists, click here to get in on the laughs.
4Ever & Ever ($8.99) and monthly ($2.99) plans available.
———
On This Date
The long march to today.
In 1998 – Russell Weston, Jr, enters the US Capitol and shoots and kills two Capitol police officers while wounding another officer and a civilian. Six years earlier Weston had been diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia and would later be deemed unfit to stand trial. Weston would later say he committed the shootings to prevent the US from being ruined by disease and cannibals. He remains in civil confinement.
In 1980 – The Australians win the 4×100 meter medley relay at the Moscow Summer Olympics in a time of 3 minutes, 45.70 seconds over the Soviet Union and Great Britain. The event had first been contested at the 1960 Rome Olympics and this remains the only time the United States, which boycotted these Olympics, has not won the gold medal in the event. Australia has also won three silver medals and five bronze medals in the event.
In 1976 – The Manhattans are at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the first of two consecutive weeks with Kiss and Say Goodbye. The song also went to #1 in Belgium, Holland and New Zealand, peaked at #4 in Great Britain, at #1 on Billboard’s soul chart and was Billboard’s sixth-biggest song of the year and its third-biggest soul song of the year. It was the second of three Top 40 hits for the group and remains their only #1 song.
Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.
Nothing is weaker than water, yet when united it can become a titanic force. It overcomes because it is relentless.
Deng Ming-Dao
365 Tao
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.
The major league record for most hits in a player’s major league debut is five, done twice, first by Fred Clarke of the Louisville Colonels in 1894 and again by Cecil Travis of the Washington Senators in a 12-inning game in 1933. The modern major league 9-inning record is 4, done many times.
Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.
What country won the most swimming gold medals at the 1980 Moscow Summer Games? – Answer next time!
Go Gaylon! Visit Gaylon on Facebook here.
The Diary of a Nobody/July 24
It’s Read Free Sunday. Enjoy today’s Diary entry with Sparrow’s compliments.
It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…
Friday, July 23
Sold out at the hotel tonite, thanks again to the canyon on the Interstate closing…Amy said there were 30 rooms available when she came on at 1500 – well, 1510 because she’s always late – and noted the last one had been reserved a couple of hours ago.
The Daily Dose/Saturday, July 24, 2021
The Daily Dose/July 24, 2021
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience.
NO MORE MISTER NICE GUY: Earlier this week in this space we discussed, rather civilly, those hicks who are declining to get COVID vaccinations and asked them to get one. It didn’t work. A lot of them ignored our plea and remain unvaccinated.
Dry, Technical Matter: Less than two-thirds of US adults are vaccinated, despite the vaccine being plentiful, safe and free. Virtually all new COVID cases are happening in those who have not been vaccinated.
Let’s Call An Orange An Orange, Shall We?: By not getting vaccinated you are being ignorant, a word thrown around in the original column, including a reference to the many times in our life we’ve been ignorant. Stubborn, too. You are also being stubborn.
Look, you are not sticking it to the liberals, you are not showing solidarity with Donald Trump or the GOP, neither of which care about you, you are only sticking it to yourselves because this might kill you. And your country because it is possible your ignorance will force me to wear an infernal mask again and America to take it in the economic shorts again.
Broad, Historical Context: All of us have been getting vaccinated since shortly after birth. Polio, diphtheria, tetanus, chicken pox, et al. and we generally didn’t have a choice, either: our parents took us to the doctor or our entire class was marched off in school. Honestly, we don’t see the problem with a COVID vaccine. It’s not a government conspiracy to put a microchip inside you. It is nothing more than an opportunity to inoculate yourself against COVID. Deep down you know this, too.
The Bottom Line: As with some other things in life, our biggest obstacle is looking us in the mirror because America getting vaccinated is the biggest barrier between us and getting rid of COVID. Our collective ignorance is showing, America. It’s not going to kill me because I’m vaccinated, but if you’re not vaccinated, it may well kill you and you would have died for nothing.
Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually.
The Diary of a Nobody – The cat helps Sparrow get out of bed. Today’s Diary.
The cat was completely adorable this morning…When I wasn’t responding to the alarm clock with the alacrity she demanded, she hopped on the bed to make inquiries and when I still didn’t move, climbed over me to the other side, the direction I was facing, and reached out a paw and touched one of my hands, presumably to see if I was warm and still alive.
———
Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device.
Columns, books, shopping lists, click here to get in on the laughs.
4Ever & Ever ($8.99) and monthly ($2.99) plans available.
———
On This Date
The long march to today.
In 1998 – Russell Weston, Jr, enters the US Capitol and shoots and kills two Capitol police officers and wounding another officer and a civilian. Six years earlier Weston had been diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia and would later be deemed unfit to stand trial. Weston would later say he committed the shootings to prevent the US from being ruined by disease and cannibals. He remains in civil confinement.
In 1980 – The Australians win the 4×100 meter medley relay at the Moscow Summer Olympics in a time of 3 minutes, 45.70 seconds over the Soviet Union and Great Britain. The event had first been contested at the 1960 Rome Olympics and this remains the only time the United States, which boycotted these Olympics, has not won the gold medal in the event. Australia has also won three silver medals and five bronze medals in the event.
In 1976 – The Manhattans are at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the first of two consecutive weeks with Kiss and Say Goodbye. The song also went to #1 in Belgium, Holland and New Zealand, peaked at #4 in Great Britain, at #1 on Billboard’s soul chart and was Billboard’s sixth-biggest song of the year and its third-biggest soul song of the year. It was the second of three Top 40 hits for the group and remains their only #1 song.
Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.
Nothing is weaker than water, yet when united it can become a titanic force. It overcomes because it is relentless.
Deng Ming-Dao
365 Tao
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.
The major league record for most hits in a player’s major league debut is five, done twice, first by Fred Clarke of the Louisville Colonels in 1894 and again by Cecil Travis of the Washington Senators in a 12-inning game in 1933. The modern major league 9-inning record is 4, done many times.
Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.
What country won the most swimming gold medals at the 1980 Moscow Summer Games? – Answer next time!
Go Gaylon! Visit Gaylon on Facebook here.
The Daily Dose/Friday, July 23, 2021
The Daily Dose/July 23, 2021
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience.
HUT, HUT, HIKE: Oh baby, this is an exciting time for college sports, mainly because we are watching the NCAA become more irrelevant by the minute. First, college players are now able to earn whatever cash and benefits their talents will get them. Two, powerhouses Texas and Oklahoma, currently in the Big 12, have asked about joining the powerhouse SEC.
Yay/Boo: Yay for college players being able to cash in legally on their talents. For years – since the first Harvard/Yale regatta in 1852, actually – college athletes have been mere chattel used to make colleges – and later conferences and the NCAA – lots of money. Anything given to the athlete was under the table and illegal.
Boo for the NCAA getting off scot-free. Though they remain a wonderful example of being pimp, whore and john all rolled into one, they will still be raking in the same money because none of the money going to athletes is coming out of their pocket. It’s all coming from businesses that want to pay a kid for an endorsement.
Warning: Be careful, though. If you don’t think a gambler or two will be lurking trying to pay some broke long snapper or some other key but equally anonymous player willing to affect a point spread you are high. They may well find clients, too, because while some studs will be making major breesh, most college players will get little or nothing and wondering why they shouldn’t be able to visit the pay window, too.
Fortunately, with gambling now an acceptable, and encouraged, pastime, and with there being no shortage of gambling sites, there will be no shortage of outlets to report major, suspicious shifts in betting lines. This won’t stop a fixed game from being played, though, and don’t be surprised if they pop up from time to time.
More Yay/Boo: Yay for Texas and Oklahoma seeking greener pastures, the free market at work.
Boo, because this will set off another round of conference realignments, and perhaps mean the end of the Big 12, and will expose the major division schools as merely out to make every last possible dollar, but we already know that, so it’s hardly a bulletin.
The Bottom Line: This is going to be a mess, even by NCAA standards. Between some college players making a pile of cash while others make nothing or very little and schools switching conferences, as quickly as a decade from now we could be looking back at this summer being the start of a major shift in the major division collegiate sports landscape.
Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually.
The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow meets one of the owners of the weed shop going up next door and some real estate news from the neighborhood. Today’s Diary.
The big news, tho, is CC reported the windmill two plots down from the weed store was sold, tho it’s unknown if someone will live there or will take advantage of the commercial zoning…Some snooping around the county assessor’s site sold the house/former coffee shop was sold for 317 to a couple from town…The plot in between the weed store and the windmill – a vacant quarter-acre or so – remains on the market.
———
Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device.
Columns, books, shopping lists, click here to get in on the laughs.
4Ever & Ever ($8.99) and monthly ($2.99) plans available.
———
On This Date
The long march to today.
In 1940 – Acting Secretary of State Sumner Welles issues an order stating the US will not recognize the annex of Latvia, Estonia and Lithuania by the Soviet Union. Known as the Welles Declaration, the order led to five decades of the US continuing to recognize the Baltic States and independent nations and a later order by President Roosevelt protected Baltic state assets. The three countries regained their independence in 1990-91.
In 1964 – Bert Campaneris of the Kansas City A’s ties the major league record for most home runs in his first major league game in a 4-3, 11-inning win over the Minnesota Twins. Campaneris homered in the first and seventh innings, both of Jim Kaat, to tie the mark established in 1889 (Charlie Riley, Columbus Solons, American Association) and 1951 (Bob Neiman, St Louis Browns) and has done three times since.
In 1983 – Willie Nelson and Merle Haggard are at #1 on Billboard’s country chart – then known as the Hot Country Singles chart – for the only week with Pancho and Lefty. It was the tenth of 17 #1 country songs for Nelson and the 32nd of 38 #1 country songs for Haggard and the song also went to #1 on Canada’s country chart. The song was written by Townes Van Zandt, who included it on a 1972 album, though the song didn’t chart.
Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.
The only graceful way to accept an insult is to ignore it; if you can’t ignore it, top it; if you can’t top it, laugh at it; if you can’t laugh at it, it is probably deserved.
Russell Lynes
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.
In addition to the 1912 Summer Olympics, Stockholm also hosted the equestrian events of the 1956 Melbourne Games, due to Australian quarantine laws.
Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.
What is the major league record for most hits in a player’s first game? – Answer next time!
Go Gaylon! Visit Gaylon on Facebook here.
The Daily Dose/Thursday, July 22, 2021
The Daily Dose/July 22, 2021
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience.
3…2…1…BLASTOFF: America is able to put humans into space again, as Amazon founder Jeff Bezos sent himself and some others 60 miles above the Earth, well above the space demarcation. He was the second civilian this month to fly into space, joining Briton Richard Branson, whose voyage actually began and ended in America. Both men financed their own flights.
Yay And Boo: Yay because this is what we humans do: we go where we’ve never been before. Branson and Bezos answered our age-old instinct to explore and find out what’s over there and they had the means and vision to make it happen. As a practical matter, though, all it means is rich people have another vacation option.
Oh, How The Mighty Have Fallen: Boo, though, because it illustrates how far America has fallen: 60 years after Alan Sheperd’s first suborbital flight we are still going ga-ga over suborbital flights.
Dry, Technical Matter: There was a time, albeit brief, when America was regularly putting men on the moon, but that time is long gone.
Oh, Jesus H: We’ve mentioned this once or twice here: maybe Apollo was ahead of its time. Maybe if President Kennedy had said let’s play touch football instead of let’s go to the moon the lunar surface would still be uncharted waters because personally, I don’t think the Soviets would have made it. Despite their many significant accomplishments in space, they were never able to get anyone out of low Earth orbit. Maybe Kennedy did what all great leaders do, led us to more than we even dared to think of.
The Bottom Line: Later, though, America took a pass on putting humans on Mars and we are still paying the price for it. We took a flier on our obligation to advance our species by going where we haven’t been before and we’re missing out on the technical advances such an effort would have provided. More than anything, though, we’re missing out on being able to say we did it, though America has long been such a partisan, fractured and bickering mess that going to Mars may well have not generated any national pride at all.
Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually.
The Diary of a Nobody – At the hotel, Sparrow moves some sundry stand items. Today’s Diary.
…emergency reports hadn’t even been printed yet before ol’ Sparrow had over $20 in sundry stand sales…They were great sales, too…The first kid came up and got a pizza (pepperoni), one of the Reese’s ice cream sandwiches and some chips…I don’t know if he had already taken advantage of this state’s favorable weed laws or was planning ahead, but he was the sort that gave the impression that if he hadn’t yet, he soon would be.
Then his buddy, inspired by what he saw, came and was all but rubbing his hands together at the prospect of a late-nite snack…He got pizza, too, and also a Reese’s, but otherwise mixed it up, getting chocolate milk and a Push-Up!!!…I am not making that up…It’s the first Push-Up I can remember moving, tho they are restocked from time to time, so somebody’s selling them.
———
Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device.
Columns, books, shopping lists, click here to get in on the laughs.
4Ever & Ever ($8.99) and monthly ($2.99) plans available.
———
On This Date
The long march to today.
In 1793 – Briton Alexander Mackenzie becomes the first known person to cross North America – north of Mexico – by land when his expedition stops at Bella Coola, an inlet of the Pacific Ocean on the British Columbia coast. He had set out the previous year after returning from Great Britain and had left Fort Chipewyan in northeast Alberta on Oct 10. The expedition was stopped from actually making the Pacific Ocean by hostile Indians.
In 1912 – The Stockholm Summer Olympics close with host Sweden winning the most medals (65) and the US winning the most gold medals (25). It was the Olympics to feature an arts competition, which awarded gold medals in architecture, literature, music and painting, and gold and silver medals in sculpture. The Stockholm Games were also the last to award pure gold medals and Japan became the first Asian nation to compete in the Games.
In 1989 – Martika is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the first of two consecutive weeks with Toy Soldiers. It was her second of four Top 40 hits and remains her only #1 song. The song also went to #1 in New Zealand and peaked at #5 in Great Britain and Martika later recorded versions of the song in both Spanish and Japanese. Martika was born Marta Marrero in southern California in 1969 and is of Cuban ancestry.
Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.
An’ on dat staff a turtle was carved. Turtle stood for dat de key to livin’ is patience.
Alex Haley
Roots: The Saga of an American Family
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.
Nat King Cole had one #1 song on a Billboard country chart, Straighten Up and Fly Right, which spent six non-consecutive weeks at #1 on the Most Played in Juke Boxes Folk Records chart in 1944. It was the seventh #1 song ever on a Billboard country chart.
Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.
In what other year did Stockholm hold a Summer Olympics event? – Answer next time!
Go Gaylon! Visit Gaylon on Facebook here.
The Daily Dose/Wednesday, July 21, 2021
The Daily Dose/July 21, 2021
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience.
AN OPEN LETTER TO MY FELLOW WHITE, MALE, RURAL RESIDENTS: Friends, COVID is back, with a vengeance in some places, and virtually every single death is of someone who wasn’t vaccinated. A lot of the unvaccinated are rural folks.
Running The Numbers: Less than two-thirds of adults in this country have been vaccinated, despite the fact a vaccine is widely available, effective and free.
Dry, Technical Matter: Although we didn’t grow up in one, we now live in a small ranching community, population about 2,000 and we’re familiar with the attitudes that sometimes attend small-town life. A variety of reasons are cited for not getting vaccinated, from concerns about the vaccine to concerns about government conspiracies. None of them have merit.
We’re Better Than This: Friends, our minds are like parachutes, they don’t do us any good closed and ignorance of this sort is not bliss, it is destitution and slavery. And, frankly, based on the (many) times in my life when I’ve been ignorant, I know there was something inside telling me my mind wasn’t open and perhaps you have a similar voice inside telling you the same thing. Feel free to conquer it because it might save your life.
Broad, Historical Context: As it has occasionally been since time immemorial, ignorance is proving deadly. To say the vaccine is not safe or that it’s a government conspiracy is simply ignorant. We’ve been getting vaccines all our lives and all they’ve done is keep us healthy.
The Bottom Line: So please, friends, go and vax up. Our country is counting on us. There is no reason for us to start wearing masks again nor is there any reason for our country to take it in the economic shorts again. You aren’t showing those damn liberals and you’re not supporting Donald Trump, you are merely hurting yourselves.
Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually.
The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow’s stock portfolio is tanking. Today’s Diary.
The big news is it appears ol’ Sparrow got back into the stock market just in time for the latest crash because the Portfolio is going down harder than a whore with the fleet in…Good gravy, everything but one stock was down…All the big, name stocks were down and so were my index funds…Fortunately, experienced investors like me know the market always rebounds and there is no reason to panic.
———
Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device.
Columns, books, shopping lists, click here to get in on the laughs.
4Ever & Ever ($8.99) and monthly ($2.99) plans available.
———
On This Date
The long march to today.
In 1914 – Louis Rigolly of France becomes the first person to exceed 100 mph, driving a French car one kilometer in 21.6 seconds, a speed of 103.561 mph in Ostend, Belgium. Rigolly broke the record of 97.25 mph established in May by Belgian Pierre de Caters on the same course and Rigolly’s mark stood until November when it was broken by Frenchman Paul Baras, who drove 104.53 mph. The current record is 760.343 mph, set by Andy Green of Great Britain in 1997.
In 2012 – The St Louis Cardinals tie the major league record for most doubles in an inning in a 12-0 victory over the Chicago Cubs. The Cardinals had seven doubles in their 12-run seventh inning to tie the mark established by the Boston Bees, later the Braves, in 1936. Five of the doubles were consecutive, which tied the major league record established by the Washington Senators in 1934.
In 1951 – Nat King Cole is at #1 on Billboard’s Best Sellers in Stores chart – a predecessor to the Hot 100 – for the fifth and final consecutive week with Too Young. It was Cole’s fourth and final #1 pop song and his 31st chart single in a chart career that began in 1942 and continues to this day on Billboard’s holiday music chart. The song also peaked at #3 on Billboard’s soul chart and was Billboard’s biggest song of the year. In 1972 a version of the song by Donny Osmond peaked at #13 on the Hot 100.
Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.
In a conflict between superstition and philosophy, one may safely wager on the victory of superstition, for the world wisely prefers happiness to wisdom.
Will Durant
The Story of Civilization, Vol. I: Our Oriental Heritage
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.
Bobby Bare’s biggest hit on the Hot 100 was The All American Boy, which peaked at #2 in 1959. A mistake the record label credited the record to Bill Parsons, a mistake the label acknowledged but didn’t bother to correct.
Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.
How many #1 songs did Nat King Cole have on a Billboard country chart? – Answer next time!
Go Gaylon! Visit Gaylon on Facebook here.