It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…
Sunday, April 11 One way to get out of doing work is to appear willing to do it…At 0530 the bell rings and there’s a gent there requesting two towels and two washcloths…I point to the back office, noting we probably have them here and go back, haul town the towel basket and see that while there are plenty of towels and hand towels, there aren’t any washcloths…I take two towels out tell the gent this, adding it would be my pleasure to deliver two washcloths to his room.
The Daily Dose/April 11, 2021 By Gaylon Kent America’s Funniest Guy
Editor’s Note: While assorted elements of The Daily Dose– Leading Off, The Sunday Bottom 5, On This Date, Some Philosophy Crap, Trivia – may run occasionally, the feature is mostly on hiatus right now. It will return later this spring.
The Sunday Bottom 5 A ranking of some things.
1. Prince Philip – One of History’s ultimate examples of marrying well, wisely trading in weekly pay packet for luxurious life of royal indentured servitude….Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters “pretty sure” being husband, father of monarchs not too bad a deal for former exiled Greek prince, run-of-the-mill Royal Navy officer.
2. Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department – Agency getting kudos from law enforcement officials everywhere for concierge-level service afforded Tiger Woods, who was given red-carpet to hospital instead of blood test, citation, following February’s single-vehicle crash.
3. Lauren Daigle – The 3-hole staple, singer’s single You Say extends mark for most weeks at #1 on any Billboard chart with 124th non-consecutive week at top of Hot Christian Singles chart…Envious Morman Tabernacle Choir reportedly abandoning plans for dance versions of Pentecostal standards to focus on hot, Christian versions of 4th of July patriotic songs.
4. COVID Vaccine – Now that Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters properly vaxxed up, they’re reissuing moderately funny line about how COVID vaccine was out within a year while they’re still bald.
5. Let Us Pray…Or Not – Despite age-old need for supernatural spiritual aid, nosy folks at Gallup report church membership falls below 50% for first time in 80 years…After peaking at 76% after World War II, numbers started falling around turn of century, as people force-fed FOX primetime line-up finally realize no supreme being would allow such horrors.
Today At The Site Writing worth reading. Usually.
Per policy, it is Read Free Sunday at The Diary.
The Diary of a Nobody– Sparrow’s been at the Veterans Service Office for two years now. Today’s Diary.
I still remember Stanko and Rick taking me aside after a Legion post meeting to ask me to consider taking Natalie’s job…Natalie had just resigned as post commander in addition to VSO and I thought they wanted me to consider being post commander again and I said sure because regular readers of this crap know ol’ Sparrow loves nothing better than being elected commander of something by acclamation…It turned out tho, they wanted me to apply for the VSO job, something yours truly would not have ordinarily considered because I was under the impression the job would be overwhelming and, frankly, more work than I was willing to put into earning a living.
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The Daily Dose/April 10, 2021 By Gaylon Kent America’s Funniest Guy
Editor’s Note: While assorted elements of The Daily Dose – Leading Off, The Sunday Bottom 5, On This Date, Some Philosophy Crap, Trivia – may run occasionally, the feature is mostly on hiatus right now. It will return later this spring.
Today At The Site Writing worth reading. Usually.
The Diary of a Nobody– It was not the usual Friday, though the fence matter at The Shire is resolved. Today’s Diary.
The deal with my fence that was torn down by the guys building the weed store next door has been resolved…About 1500, right as I was about to turn in for the Friday Afternoon Nap (FAN, see Sleep Log below) the general contractor for the project knocks on the kitchen door…He apologizes profusely and took complete blame for everything and we’re in the yard and he points to the dumpster where my fence is and says if I want, he’ll put it back.
Hell, that’s the last thing I want…Regular readers of this crap know the fence is rusted and falling apart and for a couple of years now it’s been plain it would have to be taken down and what I really wanted was to have the identical section that fronts Main Street taken down and hauled off, too…So I scratch my chin – something that loses some of its effect several feet away with a mask on – and said, you know, if the owner is willing, I’ll let the matter drop if you tear down and haul away the remainder of the fence.
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The Daily Dose/April 9, 2021 By Gaylon Kent America’s Funniest Guy
Editor’s Note: While assorted elements of The Daily Dose– Leading Off, The Sunday Bottom 5, On This Date, Some Philosophy Crap, Trivia – may run occasionally, the feature is mostly on hiatus right now. It will return later this spring.
Today At The Site Writing worth reading. Usually.
The Diary of a Nobody– The owners of the weed shop going in next door to The Shire had Sparrow’s fence torn down without asking him if it was OK. Today’s Diary.
They unilaterally tore it down and for some reason this peeves me…So I emailed my buddy Matt, the town manager and asked for the owner’s contact information and just for funsies I emailed an attorney friend named Gary because you don’t have to be Joe Friday to know that destruction of property you don’t own could very well be criminally actionable.
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The Daily Dose/April 8, 2021 By Gaylon Kent America’s Funniest Guy
Editor’s Note: While assorted elements of The Daily Dose– Leading Off, The Sunday Bottom 5, On This Date, Some Philosophy Crap, Trivia – may run occasionally, the feature is mostly on hiatus right now. It will return later this spring.
Today At The Site Writing worth reading. Usually.
The Diary of a Nobody– Sparrow notes the Help Wanted sign is still out at the hotel. Today’s Diary.
The hotel is having a tuff time finding a full-time desk clerk, which is hardly a bulletin because everyone in town is having trouble finding people…There was an article in the paper this week about how the unemployment rate was now down to 5% up here which is almost to the point where every ski bum who can pass a drug test – never in any great supply – and who wants and can hold a job has a job.
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It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…
Wednesday, April 7 Mark is an utter and complete maniac.
After a couple of weeks of using a red pen and a blue highlighter for his cash drawer spreadsheets, he completely mixed it up tonight, using a red pen and highlighter for the date, amounts and his name – itself a radical enuff departure – for the right drawer, but then he switched it up for the left drawer!!!…I am not making that up…The shocker was evident when I opened the left drawer, as if it had been written in neon:
The Daily Dose/April 7, 2021 By Gaylon Kent America’s Funniest Guy
Editor’s Note: While assorted elements of The Daily Dose– Leading Off, The Sunday Bottom 5, On This Date, Some Philosophy Crap, Trivia – may run occasionally, the feature is mostly on hiatus right now. It will return later this spring.
Today At The Site Writing worth reading. Usually.
The Diary of a Nobody– Sparrow sees the Sunday Yapper at the gym but is spared having to listen to him. Today’s Diary.
…as it was, the Sunday Yapper was there…You can see the heart spring from the gym and there he was and all alone, too, which couldn’t have pleased him at all…To show his commitment to health, what with his chemo, lap swimming and new cardio regimen, he’s now wearing the same swimming tights top swimmers wear, despite having a physique that dictates he does not wear the same swimming tights top swimmers wear.
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Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books. It’s easy reading on any device.
Columns, books, shopping lists, click here to get in on the laughs. 4Ever & Ever ($8.99) and monthly ($2.99) plans available.
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