The Daily Dose/August 15, 2021
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

The Sunday Bottom 5
A ranking of some things.

Editor’s Note: Lauren Daigle’s song ‘You Say’ is at #2 on Billboard’s Hot Christian Songs chart this week. It will return to its usual home at #3 if/when it returns to #1 for a Billboard all-chart record 133rd non-consecutive week. The Morman Tabernacle Choir sends regards. 

1. COVID Non-Vaccinators – GET VACCINATED DAMMIT!!!…We can only herald the wonders of personal choice so long before accommodation becomes appeasement…Quit being contrary…Besides, Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters “pretty sure” microchip insertion is only so Google can better target ads into our brains. 

2. Andrew Cuomo – New York governor resigns – as he should have – despite having only roughly half the number of sexual assault allegations as Donald Trump…Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters “pretty sure” they have some zero clue why Trump – who admits to grabbing women by the pussy – continues to get a free pass. 

3. Donald Trump Supporters – Once and future 3-hole staple, former president remains a lying sexual predator who believes the moon is part of Mars…And that the Revolution was won by the securing of British airports…Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters remain “pretty sure” asking Trump supporters which of these elements continues to solidify their support still reasonable question. 

4. Afghanistan – You’re on your own, now guys…After 20 years you probably would’ve been better off submitting to Soviet Union…America’s longest war – undeclared by Congress, of course – ends with Afghanistan once again poised to be brought kicking and screaming into stone age by Taliban. 

5. Major League Baseball – Field of Dreams not a completely hokey, cornball affair, though Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters remain “pretty sure” if you guys really wanted to make an impact you should hold a Bed-Sty Classic or a Watts Weekend, with players entering field from county jail buses instead of cornfields. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

Q: Is it Read Free Sunday (RFS) at The Diary?
A: Damn straight it is. 

The Diary of a Nobody – Someone’s been farting around with the sundry stand and Sparrow does not approve. Today’s Diary. 

Some wizard has changed the way the ice cream sandwiches – Klondikes, Reece’s, M&Ms – are displayed….Before, they were all laid on their backsides, rather sensibly if you ask me…This wasn’t good enuff for some up-and-coming marketing wizard here – there are no suspects – and now the ice cream sandwiches are standing on their bottom edge…Actually, there were only Klondike and M&M sandwiches out there because the Reece’s sandwiches were replaced by those infernal Push-Up while I was gone for two nites…I was going to change them, but it was pretty slammed tonite, so perhaps I’ll get to it tomorrow when we’re sold out again. 

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———

On This Date
The long march to today. 

In 1939 – The movie The Wizard of Oz premieres in Hollywood – following several test screenings around the country – at Grauman’s Chinese Theater. Except for some quibbling over the special effects, the movie opened to almost universal acclaim. Despite this, high production and other costs originally resulted in a loss for MGM and the studio didn’t start turning a profit on the film for ten years. It was nominated for five Oscars and won two, for Best Original Score and Best Original Song. 

In 1886 – Guy Hecker of the Louisville Colonels (American Association) establishes new major league records for most runs and total bases in a game and ties the single-game marks for home runs and hits in a 22-5 win over the Baltimore Orioles in the second game of a doubleheader. Hecker scored seven runs and had 15 total bases, along with three home runs and six hits. The seven runs scored remains the major league record and everything remains records for pitchers.

In 1953 – Les Paul and Mary Ford are at #1 on Billboard’s Best Sellers in Stores chart – a predecessor to the Hot 100 – for the second of eleven consecutive weeks with Vaya con Dios. It was the third and final #1 song on a Billboard pop chart for the duo in a chart career that lasted from 1945-61. The song also peaked at #7 in Great Britain and was Billboard’s second-biggest song of the year behind Percy Faith’s The Theme From Moulin Rouge, which also spent eleven weeks at #1.  

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

Vision without action is delusion.
Wes Watson

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

Billboard’s #1 song of 1982 was Physical by Olivia Newton-John, which spent ten weeks at #1, then tied for the Hot 100 record. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

Who was the actress who turned down the wicked witch of the west role that went to Margaret Hamilton? – Answer next time!

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The Daily Dose/August 14, 2021
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around our human experience. 

Leading Off is running intermittently for the time being. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow’s back in the gym for the first time on Friday morning in a couple of months. Today’s Diary. 

There was a Sunday Yapper sighting, too…I was in my usual back hot spring when he waddled out and headed to his usual spot in the heart spring…Sometimes in these circumstances ol’ Sparrow’s been known to make his way to the heart spring to see what was shaking with the Sunday Yapper, but not this time…There was a fair size crowd in there already and they were yapping before the Sunday Yapper’s arrival and after a few minutes, a spot check showed everyone was yapping their brains out and it would have been one big headache to sort thru everything. 

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It’s easy reading on any device. 

Columns, books, shopping lists, click here to get in on the laughs.
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———

On This Date
The long march to today. 

In 2015 – The US Embassy in Havana re-opens for the first time in 54 years after full diplomatic relations with Cuba had been reestablished the month before. Official diplomatic relations had been severed in 1961 by President Dwight Eisenhower following the Cuban Revolution and most US personnel were removed from the embassy following allegations of sonic attacks in 2017.  Currently, there is not a US ambassador to Cuba, the remaining US delegation being led by a charge d’affaires. 

In 1937 – The Detroit Tigers establish a modern major league record for most runs scored in a doubleheader in 16-1 and 20-7 wins over the St Louis Browns. The Tigers had 40 hits and eight home runs on the day and research into whose record they broke was inconclusive. The modern major league record is now 39 done by the Texas Rangers in 2007 and the all-time major league mark for runs in a doubleheader is 43 done by the Boston Beaneaters, now the Atlanta Braves, in 1894. 

In 1982 – Survivor is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the fourth of six consecutive weeks with Eye of the Tiger. The song went to #1 in eight other countries including South Africa, Norway and Great Britain, was Billboard’s second biggest song of the year, its fourth-biggest of the decade and ranked 26th on its 60th Anniversary Hot 100 in 2018. It was their second of eight Top 40 hits, their first of five Top 10 hits and remains their only #1 song. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

It is almost a law of history that the same wealth that generates a civilization announces its decay. For wealth produces ease as well as art; it softens a people to the ways of luxury and peace, and invites invasion from stronger arms and hungrier mouths.
Will Durant
The Story of Civilization, Vol I: Our Oriental Heritage

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

Approximately 49.3 million Americans currently receive Social Security retirement benefits. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

What was Billboard’s biggest song of 1982? – Answer next time!

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The Daily Dose/August 13, 2021
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around our human experience. 

Leading Off is running intermittently for the time being. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow enjoys a day off at home. Today’s Diary. 

…my only goal for the day was to finish my book…This was doable…There were about 125 pages left and while it’s some rather dry stuff translated from the original German, the day was free and the finish line clearly in sight…Plans to go to the next county to buy some stuff and maybe have lunch were immediately squashed and the only interruptions were when laundry or changing the sprinkler called…Ol’ Sparrow was so comfy in his chair and so firmly in day off made that even these intrusions were resented. 

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Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device. 

Columns, books, shopping lists, click here to get in on the laughs.
4Ever & Ever ($8.99) and monthly ($2.99) plans available.

———

On This Date
The long march to today. 

In 1935 – President Franklin Roosevelt signs the Social Security Act, establishing a government pension for American workers. The act also established unemployment insurance and aid to single mothers. The recipient and number of the first social security card are unknown, but the first check would be issued to Ida May Fuller of Vermont in 1940 for $22.54, about $420 in today’s money. Passage of the act was contentious and survived two challenges that went all the way to the Supreme Court. 

In 1919 – Upset, ridden by Willie Knapp, wins the Sanford Memorial Stakes at Saratoga Race Couse in New York, winning the 6-furlong race for 2-year-olds in 1 minute 11.20 seconds. Man o’ War, ridden by John Loftus, entered the race 6-0 and went off as a 1-2 favorite and finished second, the only loss in his 21-race career. Man o’ War would later win the Preakness and Belmont stakes but had not entered in the Kentucky Derby due to concerns about the distance.  

In 1983 – Janie Fricke is at #1 on Billboard’s country chart – then known as the Hot Country Singles chart – for the only week with He’s a Heartache (Looking For a Place to Happen). It was the fourth of nine #1 country songs for Fricke, a figure that includes duets with Charlie Rich and Merle Haggard. The song also went #1 country in Canada and was Billboard’s fourth-biggest country song of the year. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

His fault was a common one. He simply did not know what he was…
Gore Vidal
Julian

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

Nolan Ryan struck out ten or more batters in a major league game 215 times, the all-time record. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

Approximately how many people currently receive Social Security retirement benefits? – Answer next time!

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The Daily Dose/August 12, 2021
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around our human experience. 

Leading Off is running intermittently for the time being. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody – Moses, a trucker whose rig is acting up, stops by to use the phone. Today’s Diary. 

He’s back in a few minutes by himself tho, to report that his coworker has seen the light and to hell with it, they’re heading back up the pass come what may…Moses accepted my offer of coffee from Sparrow’s personal stash, said and meant thank you and BOOM, just like that Moses was gone…Before heading out the door tho, he turned and waved and left us with this quote which – with typical Moses wisdom – is true of life itself:   

“Truckin’ ain’t always beautiful…”

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It’s easy reading on any device. 

Columns, books, shopping lists, click here to get in on the laughs.
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———

On This Date
The long march to today. 

In 1985 – Japan Airlines flight 123 – service from Tokyo to Osaka – crashes in mountains about a half-hour west of Tokyo. All 15 crew members and 505 of the 509 passengers died. The cause of the crash was due to cabin depressurization twelve minutes into the flight with the cause cited as a faulty repair on a rear bulkhead some years earlier. The incident remains the single deadliest airplane crash in History. 

In 1974 – Nolan Ryan of the California Angels ties the major league record for most strikeouts in a nine-inning game in a 4-2 win over the Boston Red Sox. Ryan struck out 19 batters to tie the mark that had been done four times previously, most recently by Tom Seaver in 1970. The record is now 20, done four times and the extra-inning record is 21, done once. Ryan also tied Luis Tiant’s American League mark for most strikeouts in consecutive appearances with 32. 

In 1967 – Stevie Wonder is at #1 on Billboard’s soul chart – then known as the Hot Rhythm & Blues Singles chart – for the third of four non-consecutive weeks with I Was Made to Love Her. It was the fourth of a then-record 20 #1 soul hits for Wonder – a mark shared with Aretha Franklin and now held by Drake – and his tenth of 49 Top 10 soul hits. The song also peaked at #2 on the Hot 100, at #5 in Great Britain and was Billboard’s 14th biggest song of the year. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

His life was an unforgivable indictment of theirs; they wished he would sin a little, if only out of a decent respect for the habits of mankind.
Will Durant
The Story of Civilization, Vol. III: Caesar and Christ

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

Donna Summer had one #1 song in Great Britain, I Feel Love, which spent four weeks at the top in 1977. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

How many times did Nolan Ryan strike out ten or more batters in a game? – Answer next time!

Go Gaylon! Visit Gaylon on Facebook here.  

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The Daily Dose/August 11, 2021
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around our human experience. 

HERE WE GO AGAIN: One of the pleasures of columns like this is hopping up on your bully pulpit and pontificating on things important to you that others probably couldn’t care less about. 

Strap It On, Here We Go: One thing we’ve consistently championed in this feature is the inclusion of Ed Karger’s 1907 perfect game for the St Louis Cardinals on the official list of major league perfect games. As noted below in our popular On This Date feature, he did this today in 1907 against the Boston Doves. The reason it is not included is the game, the second game of a doubleheader, only went seven innings by mutual agreement.

Do You Wonder Why You Don’t Get Invited To More Parties?: The reason both teams agreed to a seven-inning game was they both had to catch trains to Boston, where they were going to play each other some more. 

Dry, Technical Matter: Recall earlier this season Madison Bumgarner of the Arizona Diamondbacks pitched a no-hitter in a game that was scheduled for seven innings. Baseball does not consider this an official no-hitter either and they really should. 

This Is More Dry, Technical Matter, Isn’t It?: One, Karger and Bumgarner pitched regulation, complete games, games that went the scheduled number of innings, seven in both cases. Now, had either game had been scheduled for nine innings and shortened by rain then it would be proper not to include them because they were not regulation, complete games, they were called games and no-hitters in called games deservedly have their own, separate listing in the record book. 

Dry, Technical Matter in 3…2…1: Two, both games counted in the standings. If you are not going to count achievements in the games, you shouldn’t count the games themselves. 

The Bottom Line: Baseball should reorganize their record book to show two categories of perfect games and no-hitters: those that were regulation, complete games regardless of the number of innings and those that were not. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow lies to a caller on the phone. Today’s Diary. 

…on the other hand, you don’t want to lie and advise him to book right now, so you fudge a little and say you still have “decent” availability even tho you’re so wide open you could handle a delegation from the Finnish ski team…You do, however and rather sensibly, advise him to book as soon as his plans are firmed up and if he gets the impression rooms are moving like hotcakes, well, I have no control over that. 

———

Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device. 

Columns, books, shopping lists, click here to get in on the laughs.
4Ever & Ever ($8.99) and monthly ($2.99) plans available.

———

On This Date
The long march to today. 

In 1962 – The Soviet Union launches Vostok 3, piloted by cosmonaut Andriyan Nikolayev. During his four-day flight, Nikolayev established that humans could work for extended periods in weightlessness and his 64 orbits established a new record. It’s sister ship Vostok 4 would launch the following day, marking the first time one country had simultaneous space flights. During this flight, Nikolayev also made the first television broadcast from space. 

In 1907 – Ed Karger of the St Louis Cardinals pitches a seven-inning perfect game, a 4-0 victory over the Boston Doves in the second game of a doubleheader in St Louis. It was the fourth major league perfect game that went the scheduled distance and was the first of four that have gone less than nine innings. Of these four, Karger’s remains the only one that went less than nine innings for a reason other than weather. 

In 1979 – Donna Summer is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the fifth and final consecutive week with Bad Girls. It was the third of four #1 songs for the Summer and her seventh of 15 Top 10 hits. The song also went to #1 in Canada, peaked at #14 in Great Britain, at #1 on Billboard’s soul and dance charts and was Billboard’s second biggest song of the year. Summer had written the song a couple of years earlier and her record company had wanted to give it to Cher, but Summer declined. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

…peacemakers were often more cursed than blessed…compromise always infuriates those who believe in the exclusive justice of their own cause.
David Schoenbrun
Triumph In Paris: The Exploits of Benjamin Franklin

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

The Indianapolis Hoosiers were in the National League from 1887-89. Before that, they had spent two seasons as the St Louis Maroons of both the Union Association  (1884) and the National League (1885-86). 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

How many #1 songs did Donna Summer have in Great Britain? – Answer next time!

Go Gaylon! Visit Gaylon on Facebook here. 

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