The Daily Dose/Monday, July 26, 2021
The Daily Dose/July 25, 2021
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience.
Leading Off will return.
Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually.
The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow is going to conduct the seminal research into creamer usage. Today’s Diary.
It hit me this morning as morning coffee service was being prepared that changing out all three creamer boxes last night is an excellent – nay, unprecedented – opportunity to see which creamer is used the most…Now, frankly, I don’t think the results will be earth-shattering as past casual observation (PCO) has shown that half & half is the most used, followed by French vanilla and then hazelnut, but I’m certain we will all be glad to finally have confirmation of this.
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It’s easy reading on any device.
Columns, books, shopping lists, click here to get in on the laughs.
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———
On This Date
The long march to today.
In 1775 – The United States Post Office is formed by the Second Continental Congress with Benjamin Franklin of Philadelphia appointed the first postmaster. Today there are over 34,000 post offices in the United States with the postal service delivering over 430 million pieces of mail every day. Street addresses began becoming mandatory with the advent of city delivery in 1863 and zip codes debuted in 1963. Franklin would serve as postmaster until leaving to serve as minister to France the following year.
In 1984 – Pete Rose of the Montreal Expos ties the major league record for most career singles in a 5-4 win over the Pittsburgh Pirates. Rose’s seventh-inning single off Don Robinson was the 3,052 of his career, tying the mark established by Ty Cobb of the Detroit Tigers and Philadelphia Athletics. Rose would break the record the following day and would retire in 1986 with 3,215 singles, a record that still stands.
In 1969 – Johnny B. Goode by Buck Owens & His Buckaroos is at #1 on Billboard’s country chart – then known as the Hot Country Singles chart – for the first of two consecutive weeks. It was the 27th of 29 Top 10 country hits for Owens and his 17th of 18 #1 songs. The song was written and first charted by Chuck Berry and despite its popularity and significance, this remains the song’s only appearance at #1 on a Billboard chart.
Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.
This is our diamond and must be treated like a diamond. Never settle. It’s never good enough until it is your best.
Michael Bennett
Creator
A Chorus Line
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.
East Germany won the most swimming gold medals at the 1980 Moscow Summer Games with 12.
Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.
When were the first postage stamps in the US issued? – Answer next time!
Go Gaylon! Visit Gaylon on Facebook here.
The Daily Dose/Sunday, July 25, 2021
The Daily Dose/July 25, 2021
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
The Sunday Bottom 5
A ranking of some things.
1. Big 12 Conference – Nice knowing you guys, as obituaries being prepared for noted collegiate conference as Texas and Oklahoma prepare to leave for SEC…Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters “pretty sure” pinning hopes of sticking around by adding Colorado State, BYU, Rice, “like, completely whack and stuff”.
2. Cleveland Guardians – Like you did, we thought this name was a stupid choice to replace Indians, but some research shows it does have some local significance…Original American League team becomes second club – after old Brooklyn Dodgers – to name team as tribute to local transportation.
3. Donald Trump Supporters – New 3-hole staple, former president remains a lying sexual predator who believes the moon is part of Mars…And that the Revolution was won by the securing of British airports…Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters remain “pretty sure” asking Trump supporters which of these elements continues to solidify their support still reasonable question.
4. Tokyo Olympics – IOC cash haul underway, as COVID cases amongst Olympic personnel only at 127 while Tokyo remains under a state of emergency…Though no country sent only one athlete, several only sent two, including Nauru – an island in the Pacific, we looked it up – who sent a guy sprinter and a chick weightlifter…72 countries are still looking for their first Olympic medal.
5. Former President Trump Fact Check – Fact-checkers union back at full strength as the lies have it, with Trump back at it, issuing as many lies as ever concerning 2020 election he lost fair and square…Click here for latest…Courtesy of AP.
Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually.
Yay for Read Free Sunday (RFS) at The Diary.
The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow deals with an idiot on the phone. Today’s Diary.
Good gravy, what a dolt…What I wanted to say was uh, yeah, dumb-dumb, sold out does, in fact, refer to the whole GD effing property, but I only said, with relentless cordiality, I was afraid so…Sir…Reasons for the following two calls will always remain an enduring mystery…Perhaps he thought he was calling a different hotel or maybe he thought something had opened up in the last ten minutes…His motives remain unclear.
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Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device.
Columns, books, shopping lists, click here to get in on the laughs.
4Ever & Ever ($8.99) and monthly ($2.99) plans available.
———
On This Date
The long march to today.
In 1998 – Russell Weston, Jr, enters the US Capitol and shoots and kills two Capitol police officers while wounding another officer and a civilian. Six years earlier Weston had been diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia and would later be deemed unfit to stand trial. Weston would later say he committed the shootings to prevent the US from being ruined by disease and cannibals. He remains in civil confinement.
In 1980 – The Australians win the 4×100 meter medley relay at the Moscow Summer Olympics in a time of 3 minutes, 45.70 seconds over the Soviet Union and Great Britain. The event had first been contested at the 1960 Rome Olympics and this remains the only time the United States, which boycotted these Olympics, has not won the gold medal in the event. Australia has also won three silver medals and five bronze medals in the event.
In 1976 – The Manhattans are at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the first of two consecutive weeks with Kiss and Say Goodbye. The song also went to #1 in Belgium, Holland and New Zealand, peaked at #4 in Great Britain, at #1 on Billboard’s soul chart and was Billboard’s sixth-biggest song of the year and its third-biggest soul song of the year. It was the second of three Top 40 hits for the group and remains their only #1 song.
Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.
Nothing is weaker than water, yet when united it can become a titanic force. It overcomes because it is relentless.
Deng Ming-Dao
365 Tao
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.
The major league record for most hits in a player’s major league debut is five, done twice, first by Fred Clarke of the Louisville Colonels in 1894 and again by Cecil Travis of the Washington Senators in a 12-inning game in 1933. The modern major league 9-inning record is 4, done many times.
Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.
What country won the most swimming gold medals at the 1980 Moscow Summer Games? – Answer next time!
Go Gaylon! Visit Gaylon on Facebook here.
The Diary of a Nobody/July 24
It’s Read Free Sunday. Enjoy today’s Diary entry with Sparrow’s compliments.
It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…
Friday, July 23
Sold out at the hotel tonite, thanks again to the canyon on the Interstate closing…Amy said there were 30 rooms available when she came on at 1500 – well, 1510 because she’s always late – and noted the last one had been reserved a couple of hours ago.
The Daily Dose/Saturday, July 24, 2021
The Daily Dose/July 24, 2021
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience.
NO MORE MISTER NICE GUY: Earlier this week in this space we discussed, rather civilly, those hicks who are declining to get COVID vaccinations and asked them to get one. It didn’t work. A lot of them ignored our plea and remain unvaccinated.
Dry, Technical Matter: Less than two-thirds of US adults are vaccinated, despite the vaccine being plentiful, safe and free. Virtually all new COVID cases are happening in those who have not been vaccinated.
Let’s Call An Orange An Orange, Shall We?: By not getting vaccinated you are being ignorant, a word thrown around in the original column, including a reference to the many times in our life we’ve been ignorant. Stubborn, too. You are also being stubborn.
Look, you are not sticking it to the liberals, you are not showing solidarity with Donald Trump or the GOP, neither of which care about you, you are only sticking it to yourselves because this might kill you. And your country because it is possible your ignorance will force me to wear an infernal mask again and America to take it in the economic shorts again.
Broad, Historical Context: All of us have been getting vaccinated since shortly after birth. Polio, diphtheria, tetanus, chicken pox, et al. and we generally didn’t have a choice, either: our parents took us to the doctor or our entire class was marched off in school. Honestly, we don’t see the problem with a COVID vaccine. It’s not a government conspiracy to put a microchip inside you. It is nothing more than an opportunity to inoculate yourself against COVID. Deep down you know this, too.
The Bottom Line: As with some other things in life, our biggest obstacle is looking us in the mirror because America getting vaccinated is the biggest barrier between us and getting rid of COVID. Our collective ignorance is showing, America. It’s not going to kill me because I’m vaccinated, but if you’re not vaccinated, it may well kill you and you would have died for nothing.
Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually.
The Diary of a Nobody – The cat helps Sparrow get out of bed. Today’s Diary.
The cat was completely adorable this morning…When I wasn’t responding to the alarm clock with the alacrity she demanded, she hopped on the bed to make inquiries and when I still didn’t move, climbed over me to the other side, the direction I was facing, and reached out a paw and touched one of my hands, presumably to see if I was warm and still alive.
———
Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device.
Columns, books, shopping lists, click here to get in on the laughs.
4Ever & Ever ($8.99) and monthly ($2.99) plans available.
———
On This Date
The long march to today.
In 1998 – Russell Weston, Jr, enters the US Capitol and shoots and kills two Capitol police officers and wounding another officer and a civilian. Six years earlier Weston had been diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia and would later be deemed unfit to stand trial. Weston would later say he committed the shootings to prevent the US from being ruined by disease and cannibals. He remains in civil confinement.
In 1980 – The Australians win the 4×100 meter medley relay at the Moscow Summer Olympics in a time of 3 minutes, 45.70 seconds over the Soviet Union and Great Britain. The event had first been contested at the 1960 Rome Olympics and this remains the only time the United States, which boycotted these Olympics, has not won the gold medal in the event. Australia has also won three silver medals and five bronze medals in the event.
In 1976 – The Manhattans are at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the first of two consecutive weeks with Kiss and Say Goodbye. The song also went to #1 in Belgium, Holland and New Zealand, peaked at #4 in Great Britain, at #1 on Billboard’s soul chart and was Billboard’s sixth-biggest song of the year and its third-biggest soul song of the year. It was the second of three Top 40 hits for the group and remains their only #1 song.
Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.
Nothing is weaker than water, yet when united it can become a titanic force. It overcomes because it is relentless.
Deng Ming-Dao
365 Tao
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.
The major league record for most hits in a player’s major league debut is five, done twice, first by Fred Clarke of the Louisville Colonels in 1894 and again by Cecil Travis of the Washington Senators in a 12-inning game in 1933. The modern major league 9-inning record is 4, done many times.
Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.
What country won the most swimming gold medals at the 1980 Moscow Summer Games? – Answer next time!
Go Gaylon! Visit Gaylon on Facebook here.
The Daily Dose/Friday, July 23, 2021
The Daily Dose/July 23, 2021
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience.
HUT, HUT, HIKE: Oh baby, this is an exciting time for college sports, mainly because we are watching the NCAA become more irrelevant by the minute. First, college players are now able to earn whatever cash and benefits their talents will get them. Two, powerhouses Texas and Oklahoma, currently in the Big 12, have asked about joining the powerhouse SEC.
Yay/Boo: Yay for college players being able to cash in legally on their talents. For years – since the first Harvard/Yale regatta in 1852, actually – college athletes have been mere chattel used to make colleges – and later conferences and the NCAA – lots of money. Anything given to the athlete was under the table and illegal.
Boo for the NCAA getting off scot-free. Though they remain a wonderful example of being pimp, whore and john all rolled into one, they will still be raking in the same money because none of the money going to athletes is coming out of their pocket. It’s all coming from businesses that want to pay a kid for an endorsement.
Warning: Be careful, though. If you don’t think a gambler or two will be lurking trying to pay some broke long snapper or some other key but equally anonymous player willing to affect a point spread you are high. They may well find clients, too, because while some studs will be making major breesh, most college players will get little or nothing and wondering why they shouldn’t be able to visit the pay window, too.
Fortunately, with gambling now an acceptable, and encouraged, pastime, and with there being no shortage of gambling sites, there will be no shortage of outlets to report major, suspicious shifts in betting lines. This won’t stop a fixed game from being played, though, and don’t be surprised if they pop up from time to time.
More Yay/Boo: Yay for Texas and Oklahoma seeking greener pastures, the free market at work.
Boo, because this will set off another round of conference realignments, and perhaps mean the end of the Big 12, and will expose the major division schools as merely out to make every last possible dollar, but we already know that, so it’s hardly a bulletin.
The Bottom Line: This is going to be a mess, even by NCAA standards. Between some college players making a pile of cash while others make nothing or very little and schools switching conferences, as quickly as a decade from now we could be looking back at this summer being the start of a major shift in the major division collegiate sports landscape.
Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually.
The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow meets one of the owners of the weed shop going up next door and some real estate news from the neighborhood. Today’s Diary.
The big news, tho, is CC reported the windmill two plots down from the weed store was sold, tho it’s unknown if someone will live there or will take advantage of the commercial zoning…Some snooping around the county assessor’s site sold the house/former coffee shop was sold for 317 to a couple from town…The plot in between the weed store and the windmill – a vacant quarter-acre or so – remains on the market.
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Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device.
Columns, books, shopping lists, click here to get in on the laughs.
4Ever & Ever ($8.99) and monthly ($2.99) plans available.
———
On This Date
The long march to today.
In 1940 – Acting Secretary of State Sumner Welles issues an order stating the US will not recognize the annex of Latvia, Estonia and Lithuania by the Soviet Union. Known as the Welles Declaration, the order led to five decades of the US continuing to recognize the Baltic States and independent nations and a later order by President Roosevelt protected Baltic state assets. The three countries regained their independence in 1990-91.
In 1964 – Bert Campaneris of the Kansas City A’s ties the major league record for most home runs in his first major league game in a 4-3, 11-inning win over the Minnesota Twins. Campaneris homered in the first and seventh innings, both of Jim Kaat, to tie the mark established in 1889 (Charlie Riley, Columbus Solons, American Association) and 1951 (Bob Neiman, St Louis Browns) and has done three times since.
In 1983 – Willie Nelson and Merle Haggard are at #1 on Billboard’s country chart – then known as the Hot Country Singles chart – for the only week with Pancho and Lefty. It was the tenth of 17 #1 country songs for Nelson and the 32nd of 38 #1 country songs for Haggard and the song also went to #1 on Canada’s country chart. The song was written by Townes Van Zandt, who included it on a 1972 album, though the song didn’t chart.
Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.
The only graceful way to accept an insult is to ignore it; if you can’t ignore it, top it; if you can’t top it, laugh at it; if you can’t laugh at it, it is probably deserved.
Russell Lynes
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.
In addition to the 1912 Summer Olympics, Stockholm also hosted the equestrian events of the 1956 Melbourne Games, due to Australian quarantine laws.
Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.
What is the major league record for most hits in a player’s first game? – Answer next time!
Go Gaylon! Visit Gaylon on Facebook here.
The Daily Dose/Thursday, July 22, 2021
The Daily Dose/July 22, 2021
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience.
3…2…1…BLASTOFF: America is able to put humans into space again, as Amazon founder Jeff Bezos sent himself and some others 60 miles above the Earth, well above the space demarcation. He was the second civilian this month to fly into space, joining Briton Richard Branson, whose voyage actually began and ended in America. Both men financed their own flights.
Yay And Boo: Yay because this is what we humans do: we go where we’ve never been before. Branson and Bezos answered our age-old instinct to explore and find out what’s over there and they had the means and vision to make it happen. As a practical matter, though, all it means is rich people have another vacation option.
Oh, How The Mighty Have Fallen: Boo, though, because it illustrates how far America has fallen: 60 years after Alan Sheperd’s first suborbital flight we are still going ga-ga over suborbital flights.
Dry, Technical Matter: There was a time, albeit brief, when America was regularly putting men on the moon, but that time is long gone.
Oh, Jesus H: We’ve mentioned this once or twice here: maybe Apollo was ahead of its time. Maybe if President Kennedy had said let’s play touch football instead of let’s go to the moon the lunar surface would still be uncharted waters because personally, I don’t think the Soviets would have made it. Despite their many significant accomplishments in space, they were never able to get anyone out of low Earth orbit. Maybe Kennedy did what all great leaders do, led us to more than we even dared to think of.
The Bottom Line: Later, though, America took a pass on putting humans on Mars and we are still paying the price for it. We took a flier on our obligation to advance our species by going where we haven’t been before and we’re missing out on the technical advances such an effort would have provided. More than anything, though, we’re missing out on being able to say we did it, though America has long been such a partisan, fractured and bickering mess that going to Mars may well have not generated any national pride at all.
Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually.
The Diary of a Nobody – At the hotel, Sparrow moves some sundry stand items. Today’s Diary.
…emergency reports hadn’t even been printed yet before ol’ Sparrow had over $20 in sundry stand sales…They were great sales, too…The first kid came up and got a pizza (pepperoni), one of the Reese’s ice cream sandwiches and some chips…I don’t know if he had already taken advantage of this state’s favorable weed laws or was planning ahead, but he was the sort that gave the impression that if he hadn’t yet, he soon would be.
Then his buddy, inspired by what he saw, came and was all but rubbing his hands together at the prospect of a late-nite snack…He got pizza, too, and also a Reese’s, but otherwise mixed it up, getting chocolate milk and a Push-Up!!!…I am not making that up…It’s the first Push-Up I can remember moving, tho they are restocked from time to time, so somebody’s selling them.
———
Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device.
Columns, books, shopping lists, click here to get in on the laughs.
4Ever & Ever ($8.99) and monthly ($2.99) plans available.
———
On This Date
The long march to today.
In 1793 – Briton Alexander Mackenzie becomes the first known person to cross North America – north of Mexico – by land when his expedition stops at Bella Coola, an inlet of the Pacific Ocean on the British Columbia coast. He had set out the previous year after returning from Great Britain and had left Fort Chipewyan in northeast Alberta on Oct 10. The expedition was stopped from actually making the Pacific Ocean by hostile Indians.
In 1912 – The Stockholm Summer Olympics close with host Sweden winning the most medals (65) and the US winning the most gold medals (25). It was the Olympics to feature an arts competition, which awarded gold medals in architecture, literature, music and painting, and gold and silver medals in sculpture. The Stockholm Games were also the last to award pure gold medals and Japan became the first Asian nation to compete in the Games.
In 1989 – Martika is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the first of two consecutive weeks with Toy Soldiers. It was her second of four Top 40 hits and remains her only #1 song. The song also went to #1 in New Zealand and peaked at #5 in Great Britain and Martika later recorded versions of the song in both Spanish and Japanese. Martika was born Marta Marrero in southern California in 1969 and is of Cuban ancestry.
Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.
An’ on dat staff a turtle was carved. Turtle stood for dat de key to livin’ is patience.
Alex Haley
Roots: The Saga of an American Family
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.
Nat King Cole had one #1 song on a Billboard country chart, Straighten Up and Fly Right, which spent six non-consecutive weeks at #1 on the Most Played in Juke Boxes Folk Records chart in 1944. It was the seventh #1 song ever on a Billboard country chart.
Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.
In what other year did Stockholm hold a Summer Olympics event? – Answer next time!
Go Gaylon! Visit Gaylon on Facebook here.