The Daily Dose/February 20, 2021
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience.

Leading Off is time out. It will return after penance is served.

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow makes history in the sack. Today’s Diary. 

13.0 hours for the day and 41.0 hours for the week and get out your history books because this marks the third consecutive week the Friday Sleep Total (FST) has surpassed the 40-hour mark, the first time this happened since the inception of the Sleep Log…I am not making that up. 

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Columns, books, shopping lists, click here to get in on the laughs.
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———

On This Date
The long march to today. 

In 1986 – The first module of the Soviet space station Mir is launched from what is now southern Kazakhstan. Mir would not be completed until 1996 and would be manned for ten years. The crew used Moscow time and covered windows to simulate night, necessary because the spacecraft observed 16 sunrises and sunsets every day. Mir returned to Earth in March 2001, breaking up in the atmosphere over the South Pacific Ocean. 

In 1996 – John Stockton of the Utah Jazz establishes a new NBA record for most career steals in a 112-98 win over the Boston Celtics. Stockton had two steals, giving him 2,311 for his career, one more than the record established by Maurice Cheeks from 1978-93. Stockton retired in 2003 with 3,265 steals, a record that still stands and Cheeks’ mark is now good for fifth on the all-time list. 

In 1988 – Merle Haggard is at #1 on Billboard’s country chart – then known as the Hot Country Singles chart – for the only week with Twinkle, Twinkle Lucky Star. It was the 95th of 102 country chart singles for Haggard, his 68th of 70 Top 10 hits and his 38th and final #1 country song. Haggard’s first #1 country song was I’m A Lonesome Fugitive in 1966 and his last country chart appearance was 1990’s When It Rains It Pours, which peaked at #60. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

Form increases as options decrease…The closer something comes to completion, the harder and more definite it becomes. Our options become fewer, until the full impact of our creation is all that is there.
Deng Ming-Dao
365 Tao

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

Lou Christie’s only appearance on Billboard’s soul chart came in 1963 when Two Faces Have I peaked at #11.

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard. 

Which cosmonaut/astronaut holds the record for the most time on the space station Mir? – Answer next time!

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The Daily Dose/February 19, 2021
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience.

UP AGAINST THE BRIDGE AND SPREAD ‘EM: The General History item in yesterday’s On This Date feature concerned Robert Hanssen, an FBI agent arrested for spying for the Russians. The item noted he was arrested while taping stuff for the Russians to the bottom of a bridge. 

You don’t come across that every day, so we tried to see if some specifics were available, but all we were able to find was the usual FBI press release pablum you’d expect. Unable to come up with exactly what happened, we came up with a scenario of our own. 

Lights, Camera, Action: Here’s one way it could have gone: 

Arresting FBI Agent
Uh, Mr Hanssen, is that you? 

Mr Hanssen
Yes. Good day. Whom might you be? 

Arresting FBI Agent
Yes, sir. FBI Special Agent Palmer here, sir. When you’re through under the bridge, we’d like to arrest you. 

Mr Hanssen
Egads. Arrest me? For what? 

Arresting FBI Agent
We suspect you of spying, sir. 

Mr Hanssen
Why do you think that? 

Arresting FBI Agent
Well, you’re taping stuff under a bridge.  

Mr Hanssen
So this is a crime? It’s some recipes for a club I’m in. 

Arresting FBI Agent
Recipes…

Mr Hanssen
Yeah, it’s my turn for Recipe of the Week at church. It’s my special lemon cake! 

Arresting FBI Agent
Are you armed, sir? 

Mr Hanssen
Yes. Of course. I’m an FBI agent, just like you.

Arresting FBI Agent
Well, keep your hands where we can see them. 

Mr Hanssen
I dunno. I might want to end it. The rest of my life is shot. On the other hand, I don’t want my kids to know I went out a coward. Hold on. 

The Bottom Line: Some research even yielded pictures of the bridge Hanssen was arrested at. It’s pretty small, going over a stream, so it’s likely the arresting agents stormed it and took Hanssen by force, but maybe not. It would have been nice to have had some body camera footage of the event, though. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody –  Sparrow is back in the gym after a week off. Today’s Diary. 

I will never understand the bench press….After a triumphant week off ol’ Sparrow was back in the gym and was at the usual weights for every exercise except this one…Shoulders: strong…Biceps: strong…Triceps: strong…Legs: really strong…Bench press: weak…I felt like the science geek in school being forced to lift. 

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Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device. 

Columns, books, shopping lists, click here to get in on the laughs.
4Ever & Ever ($8.99) and monthly ($2.99) plans available. 

———

On This Date
The long march to today. 

In 1913 – Pedro Lascurain becomes president of Mexico for 45 minutes, the shortest presidential term in world history. Earlier in the day, the Mexican government had been overthrown by General Victoriano Huerta, who had Lascurain, then a foreign secretary, installed as president. Huerta was then named interior secretary, which made him next in line to the presidency, after which Lascurain resigned. Lascurain was offered a position in Huerta’s administration but declined, returning to his law practice and later opening a law school. 

In 2008 – The Montreal Canadiens tie the NHL record for the largest deficit overcome to win a game in a 6-5 shootout victory over the New York Rangers. The Rangers led 5-0 early in the second period, but the Canadiens got two goals in the second period and three more in the third, tying it with 4:22 left in regulation.  The record still stands and has been done numerous times in NHL regular season and playoff history. 

In 1966 – Lightnin’ Strikes by Lou Christie is at #`1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the only week. It was the fourth of five Top 40 hits for Christie, his third of four Top 10 hits and remains his only #1 song. The song also went to #1 in Canada, peaked at #11 in Great Britain and was Billboard’s 23rd biggest song of the year. Christie was born Lugee Sacco and his stage name was picked by a record company executive without his knowledge. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

With patience, the leaves of the mulberry tree become a satin dress.
Chinese proverb

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

The other two albums besides Thriller by Michael Jackson to be the #1 album for a year on Billboard’s album chart twice are My Fair Lady by the original Broadway cast n 1957 and 1958 and the soundtrack to the film West Side Story in 1962 and 1963. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard. 

What was Lou Christie’s biggest hit on Billboard’s soul chart? – Answer next time!

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The Daily Dose/February 18, 2021
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience.

CAPSULE BOOK REVIEW: The Great Bridge by David McCullough: Despite the fact the Brooklyn Bridge is a completely different subject than the settlement of Marietta, Ohio, we find ourselves stealing a line from our review of that book by McCullough: 

… immediately we are introduced to someone interesting to know. 

Here We Go Again: This, of course, is a time-honored McCullough tactic and this time it was John Roebling, the man who conceived and designed the Brooklyn Bridge and remained with the project until his death before construction actually got underway. He was replaced by his able son Washington Roebling who later found himself so disabled he was obliged to watch construction from his house, supervising and issuing instructions through his assistant and his very capable wife. 

Why Didn’t You Say So?: Throughout the book McCullough displays a pleasing knack for making the mechanics of bridge-building accessible to dolts like us. Of particular interest heading in were the caissons that were dug below the East River, on which the two towers that hold the cables that suspend the bridge stand. The deal is they’re placed in the river, pressurized with air and then workers go down and dig until they reach bedrock. On the Brooklyn side, at least. Hard sand was settled for on the Manhattan side. 

Finally, Some Dry, Technical Matter: Despite an awful lot of effort, they never did figure out the way to prevent the bends that came about after leaving the compressed air environment. 

Oh Yeah: The book is also a delightful insight into the Brooklyn and Manhattan cities (they were separate then) of the era, including a look at the real power in Manhattan, Boss Tweed, a look which includes his downfall. 

FunFact: Here is the official Daily Dose rating scale:

1 – The very best
2 – Very good
3 – Good
4 – Average
5 – A steaming pile

The Bottom Line: Final Rating: 2, Very Good: We don’t throw the highest ranking out too often, and we’re not this time, but we came this close because you got a greater impression than usual McCullough was thoroughly enjoying himself, both as a historian and a writer. The Great Bridge is highly recommended for both the casual fan of history and the general reader. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody –  At the VSO, Sparrow gets some work done on his presentation for the March training meeting. Today’s Diary. 

My customer service training presentation for the March regional training meeting got some work done on it, too…In fact, I was able to send the first whiteboard video to Rich, who was the one whose original customer service PowerPoint has provided absolutely zero inspiration…This is hardly a surprise because unless you are Mr French or the queen’s lord chamberlain, you simply do not have the experience I do in this matter. 

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Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device. 

Columns, books, shopping lists, click here to get in on the laughs.
4Ever & Ever ($8.99) and monthly ($2.99) plans available. 

———

On This Date
The long march to today. 

In 2001 – FBI agent Robert Hanssen is arrested for spying as he was taping classified information for the Russians to the bottom of a bridge at a county park in Virginia. Hanssen was discovered after the FBI paid $7 million to the KGB for the file on an anonymous spy, later identified as Hanssen. Hanssen pled guilty the following year and, now 76, is serving 15 consecutive life sentences at the federal supermax prison in Colorado. 

In 1970 – Bobby Orr establishes a new NHL record for goals in a season by a defenseman in a 5-5 tie with the Los Angeles Kings. Orr’s first-period goal was his 22nd of the season, eclipsing the mark he had set the season before. Orr finished the season with 33 goals and would break or tie the mark three more times before it was broken by Doug Wilson of the Chicago Blackhawks with 39 in 1981-82. The mark is now held by Paul Coffee of the Edmonton Oilers, who had 48 in 1985-86. 

In 1984 – Michael Jackson is at #1 on the Billboard 200 album chart for the 29th of 37 non-consecutive weeks with Thriller. The album had first gone to #1 on February 26, 1983, and was Billboard’s biggest album of both 1984 and 1983, becoming only the third album to be the #1 album for consecutive years. The album went to #1 in many other countries, including France, Australia and Great Britain and with over 47 million certified copies sold, remains the biggest-selling album in history. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

To be reckless is not to be brave, it is only to be a fool.
Louis L’Amour
The Walking Drum

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

The Second Barbary War was in 1815, though due to the Barbary Coast states repudiating the initial treaty and an oversight by the US Senate in ratifying the second one, the war did not officially end until 1822. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard. 

What were the other two albums that were Billboard’s #1 albums for consecutive years? – Answer next time!

Go Gaylon! Visit Gaylon on Facebook here.

Share Gaylon! Go!

The Daily Dose/February 17, 2021
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Friends, the Heavyweight Champion of the World, The Daily Dose, will return.

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody –  At the hotel, Sparrow forgets his knife. Today’s Diary. 

So, as it was, the box was opened with my hands and it should surprise no one to find out ol’ Sparrow ended up tearing the box almost in half…The finished product didn’t turn out much better, either…The masks are a tad wider than the baggies and the whole evolution looked it was done by Stevie Wonder…But remember Rule #2 of being a nite auditor: don’t let the bastards on day shift wonder what the hell you’re doing and that would be exactly what would happen if the mask basket was empty on day shift.

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Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device. 

Columns, books, shopping lists, click here to get in on the laughs.
4Ever & Ever ($8.99) and monthly ($2.99) plans available.

Share Gaylon! Go!

The Daily Dose/February 16, 2021
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience.

USA! USA!: President’s Day was yesterday and it completely escaped us. We didn’t realize it was a holiday until we showed up for work as a county veterans service officer and the parking lot was deserted. Now, we do keep rather odd hours here, but we don’t forget other holidays and if we’re forgetting this one perhaps it’s time for Presidents Day to go. 

Now Hear This: Some favor making Juneteenth a holiday, on the theory this marks the end of slavery in the US. 

Dry, Technical Matter: Juneteenth commemorates June 19, 1865, when Union troops announced the end of slavery in Texas. 

Fly In The Ointment: An Abolition Day would be appropriate, of course, but here’s the problem though: Juneteenth doesn’t mark the end of slavery in the US. Hell, it doesn’t even mark the end of slavery in Texas. That had come two-and-a-half years earlier when the Emancipation Proclamation ended slavery in the Confederacy and Texas was only informing slaves about now because federal troops were there to make them. 

And You Wonder Why You Don’t Get Invited To Any Parties: Slavery didn’t end until December 1865 when the passage of the 13th Amendment ended it in the two remaining states that had it: Kentucky and Delaware, which were Union states during the Civil War. 

Let It Be Hereby Resolved…: So let’s replace Presidents Day with Abolition Day. February is already Black History Month and – for added historical context – the great American Frederick Douglass was born and died in February. 

The Bottom Line: Holidays reflect the people that celebrate them, of course, and sometimes they run their course, especially since Donald Trump is now celebrated on Presidents Day, which is sort of like celebrating your favorite strain of the clap. And, as long as we’re at it, let’s 86 Columbus Day, too, and move the holiday to July 20 in honor of the first moon landing. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody – At the hotel, Sparrow rents a room to three girls who had a lousy day. Today’s Diary. 

Anyway, while on the mountain the girl in the cast broke her leg, so they all hauled off to the ER where they won’t the only broken bone requiring attention but eventually they made it out and then BOOM a flat tire, which officially certified the evolution as the Road Trip From Hell…They were able to laff about it, tho, and yours truly was pleased to quote them a rate of $129, plus tax, which included a Good Humour Discount of roughly $40 or so off what I probably normally would have asked. 

———

Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device. 

Columns, books, shopping lists, click here to get in on the laughs.
4Ever & Ever ($8.99) and monthly ($2.99) plans available. 

———

On This Date
The long march to today. 

In 1804 – During the First Barbary War, US Navy Lieutenant Stephen Decatur, commanding a crew of mostly US Marines on the USS Intrepid, leads a raid to burn the USS Philadelphia held in Tripoli Harbor, off what is now Libya. Philadelphia had run aground in October and Decatur and his men were able to set fire to it and destroy it. The First Barbary War last from 1801 to 1805 and ended with a peace treaty. 

In 1937 – Nels Stewart of the New York Americans establishes a new NHL record for most career goals in a 2-1 loss to the Montreal Canadiens. Stewart’s second-period goal was the 272nd goal of his career, breaking the record established by Howie Morenz from 1923-37. Stewart retired in 1940 with 324 goals, a record that stood until November 1952 when it was broken by Maurice Richard. The mark is now held by Wayne Gretzky with 894. 

In 1975 – Linda Ronstadt is at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the only week with You’re No Good. It was her 11th chart single, Her third of 17 Top 40 hits and remains her only #1 song. The song also hit the Top 10 in Canada and was Billboard’s 50th biggest song of the year. Versions by Betty Everett and The Swinging Blue Jeans went to numbers 51 and 97 respectively in 1964. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

It was the blood-stained gate, the entrance to the hell of slavery, through which I was about to pass.
Frederick Douglass
Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass, An American Slave
Refers to watching his mother get beaten. 

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

Dick Button was the first US man to win the World Figure Skating Championships, at Davos, Switzerland in 1948.

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard. 

When was the Second Barbary War? – Answer next time!

Go Gaylon! Visit Gaylon on Facebook here. 

Share Gaylon! Go!