The Diary of a Nobody/February 11

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The Daily Dose/Thursday, February 11, 2021

The Daily Dose/February 11, 2021
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around our human experience. 

AND YOU WONDER WHY YOU DON’T GET INVITED TO MORE PARTIES: I’ll tell you what, getting older is generally a pretty good gig. One, we have no choice in the matter, so it’s best to get along in these circumstances and, two, the years offer wisdom and context if you let them. Plus, if you get your rest, drink your water, take some exercise and eat fairly well, you generally enjoy decent health. 

But boy, celebrating the 50th anniversary of a personal experience for the first time sort of made us feel old. The occasion was what History refers to as the Sylmar Quake, which happened on February 9, 1971, 50 years ago. It was pretty big, registering 6.4 on the Richter scale. 

Dry, Technical Matter: We were five and living with mom and dad at the time and, as we recall, we slept through it, with Mom having to wake me up so we could go stand under a doorway, an established earthquake safety technique of the era, though we don’t think we’d do it now. Later, there was an aftershock and mom decided we were all doomed and took us outside, which was considered risking it because things could fall on you. 

Can We Get To The Point Here?: The date, February 9, has always stuck with us, but we’ve never been certain of the year, fixing it as either 1971 or 1972. After establishing it happened in 1971 it actually took us an hour or so to realize this past Tuesday was the 50th anniversary, making this the first experience we’ve had celebrating its 50th anniversary. 

Dry, Technical Matter: We also remember the first moon landing in 1969, but we don’t count that because it wasn’t a personal experience, merely something that happened that we saw on TV. 

The Bottom Line: The mind can be funny, easily remembering things from long ago while forgetting to put two and two together and reckon it’s the 50th anniversary of something. All right. Nature giveth and sometimes she taketh away. At least it’s not likely we’ll have to worry about being around for the 100th anniversary.  

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody –  Sparrow does some whining. Today’s Diary. 

Proof that ol’ Sparrow will whine about absolutely anything – as if more proof was required – can be found in the fact yours truly was whining – pretty loudly – about the local convenience stores being out of my fave microwavable cheeseburgers…

———

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It’s easy reading on any device. 

Columns, books, shopping lists, click here to get in on the laughs.
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———

On This Date
The long march to today. 

In 1953 – President Dwight Eisenhower denies all clemency appeals for Julius and Ethel Rosenberg, who had been condemned following their 1951 conviction for spying for the Soviet Union. Eisenhower cited “the deliberate betrayal of an entire nation” and the Rosenbergs were executed in June at Sing Sing Prison in New York. Though some thought the Rosenbergs victims of Cold War paranoia, Soviet cables decoded after its fall showed their involvement. 

In 1982 – Moses Malone of the Houston Rockets establishes a new NBA record for most offensive rebounds in a game in a 117-100 win over the Seattle SuperSonics. Malone had 21 offensive rebounds to break the record of 19 he had established on February 9, 1979. Malone played 20 seasons in the NBA and still holds the record for career offensive rebounds with 6,731. 

In 1984 – Culture Club is at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the second of three consecutive weeks with Karma Chameleon. It was the eighth of ten Top 40 hits for the group, their eighth and final Top 10 song and remains their only #1 hit. The song went to #1 in 14 other countries including Australia, Norway and their native Great Britain, peaked at #67 on Billboard’s soul chart and was its 10th biggest song of the year. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

It’s easy to be independent when you’ve got money. But to be independent when you haven’t got a thing- that is the Lord’s test.
Mahalia Jackson

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

Besides Al Dexter the other two acts credited with being at #1 on Billboard’s first country chart with versions of Pistol Packin’ Mama on January 8, 1944 were Bing Crosby & The Andrew Sisters and Don Baxter. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard. 

What was Culture Club’s biggest hit on Billboard’s soul chart? – Answer next time!

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The Diary of a Nobody/February 10

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The Daily Dose/Wednesday, February 10, 2021

The Daily Dose/February 10, 2021
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around our human experience. 

OH, JESUS H: Writing is a lot like having kids, people only want to see the end result. But we are going to bore you with some thoughts on yesterday’s Leading Off item, a thrilling look into the players that have the most titles for each sport (Tom Brady, Bill Russell, Henri Richard, Yogi Berra) where we decided which of them was the most indispensable. 

Give Me A G!: It wasn’t too bad an item. We didn’t put it in Gaylon’s Greatest Hits, but it was worth the work we put into it and if we weren’t pleased with it we wouldn’t have ran with it.

Fly In The Ointment: It was more work than usual, frankly. While nothing writes itself – whomever first used the word “flow” in connection with writing should be impaled on a stake – we always dive in knowing what we want for this item and it seldom takes more than a half-hour to write. When nothing is asserting itself we don’t force it, we give it the day off. 

Dry, Technical Matter: Yesterday’s bit started out to be a general ranking of sport’s greatest team players but crap, that ended up being too busy, a lot longer than we like for this item. In theory, we can make it as long as we want, but brevity’s key here at Leading Off. We then farted around with a couple of other concepts that even we found dull before settling on what we ran. 

The Bottom Line: As usual, the work was fun, in no small part because of the research involved, an activity that regular readers of this crap know causes us to achieve and maintain a state of arousal usually only found on porn sets. We hope you enjoyed the result. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody –  Sparrow talks about showing up for work. Today’s Diary. 

We’ve been running into younger folks completely blowing off shifts for a while now…Longtime readers of this crap may recall the kid at Hotel B who would show up whenever the hell he wanted, especially troubling because he was relieving ol’ Sparrow…I eventually had to tell Amy – who was the GM there at the time – that I was going to start leaving at 0700 regardless of whether the kid was there or not. 

———

Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device. 

Columns, books, shopping lists, click here to get in on the laughs.
4Ever & Ever ($8.99) and monthly ($2.99) plans available. 

———

On This Date
The long march to today. 

 In 1984 – What history refers to as the Wagalla Massacre begins in northeast Kenya when Kenyan troops round up an estimated 5,000 ethnic Somalis, taking them to the Wagalla Airstrip. The captives were denied food and water and five days later many were doused with gasoline and burned to death while others were shot to death. The Kenyan government did not acknowledge what really happened until the turn of the century. 

In 1949 – Joe Fulks of the Philadelphia Warriors establishes a new NBA record for most points in a game in a 108-87 win over the Indianapolis Jets, scoring 63 points to become the first NBA player to score more than 50 points in a game. His record stood until Elgin Baylor scored 71 on November 15, 1960, and the record is now held by Wilt Chamberlain, who scored 100 points on March 2, 1962. 

In 1945 – Joe Dexter is at #1 on Billboard’s Most Played Juke Box Folk Records chart – a predecessor to today’s country chart – for the second of seven non-consecutive weeks with I’m Losing My Mind Over You. It was the fifth country hit for Dexter, all #1s,  and research into the most consecutive #1 country songs at the start of a career was inconclusive. On January 8, 1944, Dexter had been one of three acts at #1 on the first Billboard country chart with versions of Pistol Packin’ Mama. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

The man who finds the smell is the one who sniffs.
Nicholas Monsarrat
Smith and Jones

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

The player who won the most World Series championships who did not play for the New York Yankees was Eddie Collins, who won six World Series with the Philadelphia A’s and the Chicago White Sox. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard. 

Who were the other two acts to be on #1 on Billboard’s first country chart on January 8, 1944, with Pistol Packin’ Mama? – Answer next time!

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The Diary of a Nobody/February 9

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The Daily Dose/Tuesday, February 9, 2021

The Daily Dose/February 9, 2021
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around our human experience. 

HUT, HUT, HIKE: Tom Brady’s seven Super Bowl titles are the most so, there being nothing else of importance going on in the world, we decided to compare this total to the leaders in the other North American major sports to decide who could be regarded as the greatest team sports player of all-time or, to put it another way, would the team had won as many titles without them? 

Running The Numbers: Seven Super Bowl wins is nothing to sneeze at, of course, but it does trail the leaders in the other three major North American sports. Bill Russell of the Boston Celtics and Henri Richard of the Montreal Canadiens each won eleven titles, while Yogi Berra of the New York Yankees won ten.  

Nice To Meet You, Sir: Henri Richard played for the Montreal Canadiens from 1955-75 – a great time to be a Montreal Canadien – and is the younger, less-famous brother Maurice “Rocket” Richard, even though he is in the same Hockey Hall of Fame the Rocket is. Russell played for the Celtics from 1956-69 while Berra was a Yankee from 1946-63. 

Dry, Technical Matter: Richard and Berra are the first to go. Of course, both were amongst the best ever at what they did, but they were, frankly excellent players with the right team at the right time. Both the Canadiens and the Yankees would have been winners without them. 

More Dry, Technical Matter: You can’t say that about Russell and Brady, though, because both were central to their team’s successes. They were more than great players who were great when they needed to be, they were/are players that made those around them great, too. 

The Bottom Line: Russell might get the nod over Brady because he won his eleven titles in only 13 seasons while Brady has taken a rather leisurely 20 seasons to win his seven titles, or maybe not. Maybe we’ll give Brady the nod because he’s been great for so long. We’re not deciding yet. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody –  Sparrow does some reflecting. Today’s Diary. 

Ages ago I was working at a motel on the Sin City Strip and from time to time this genuinely crazy, homeless woman would stop by in the middle of the night to chat…I’m ashamed to say I’ve forgotten her real name, even tho I haven’t forgotten her, because I’ve always thought of her as Agent 7…Anyway, her mind was warped…She thought the world was controlled by World Government working out of Malta (and, frankly, I don’t know for sure that it’s not) an outfit her son flew spy planes for. 

———

Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device. 

Columns, books, shopping lists, click here to get in on the laughs.
4Ever & Ever ($8.99) and monthly ($2.99) plans available. 

———

On This Date
The long march to today. 

In 1943 – The Battle of Guadalcanal in the Solomon Islands in the south Pacific ends, with the final withdrawal of Japanese troops. The Japanese disguised the withdrawal as reinforcements over the course of three nights after suffering heavy losses to Allied forces in the air, on the ground and at sea and successfully evacuated over 10,000 troops. The battle had begun the previous August. 

In 1895 – Volleyball is invented by William Morgan, an instructor at the Holyoke, Massachusetts YMCA. Originally, the game was played with any number of players, consisted of nine innings with three serves per team and there were no limits on the number of hits before sending the ball over the net. Nudists first started playing the game in the 1920s and volleyball became an Olympic sport in 1964. 

In 1963 – Paul and Paula are at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the first of three consecutive weeks with Hey Paula. It was the first of five chart singles for the group, their first of two Top 10 hits and remains their only #1 song. The song also went to #1 on Billboard’s soul chart, peaked at #8 in Great Britain and was Billboard’s #6 song of the year. Paul and Paula are not a couple, but a stage name for Ray Hildebrand and Jill Jackson. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

I balanced sometimes between principle and inclination…So convenient a thing it is to be a reasonable creature since it enables one to find or make a reason for everything one has a mind to do.
Benjamin Franklin
Autobiography

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

The NBA record for most career field goals by an active player is Lebron James with 12,704.

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard. 

What player who did not play for the New York Yankees has won the most World Series titles? – Answer next time!

Go Gaylon! Visit Gaylon on Facebook here.

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The Diary of a Nobody/February 8

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The Daily Dose/Monday, February 8, 2021

The Daily Dose/February 8, 2021
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around our human experience. 

Leading Off will return.

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody –  The Sunday Yapper returns to the hot springs. Today’s Diary. 

…the Sunday Yapper favored us with his presence a few minutes later…I was wondering who he would start in on, but it turned out the Yapper and the lady are old friends so it only took a few seconds to drop the bombshell: 

His chemo sessions start this week!!!

Oh, good gravy, even a halfwit like me knows you don’t take chemo for dandruff and it turns out he has tumors in assorted places in his gut, hardly a bulletin because he has a gut you could pitch batting practice off of. 

———

Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device. 

Columns, books, shopping lists, click here to get in on the laughs.
4Ever & Ever ($8.99) and monthly ($2.99) plans available. 

———

On This Date
The long march to today. 

In 1693 – The College of William and Mary is founded in Williamsburg, Virginia, after being chartered by King William III and Queen Mary II of England. The college has educated, among others, three American presidents (Jefferson, Monroe, Tyler) and four Supreme Court justices. It is the second-oldest college in the nation, behind Harvard (1636), one of nine colleges in the US founded before the Revolution. 

In 1984 – Kareem Abdul-Jabbar establishes a new NBA record for most career field goals in a 111-109 win over the Boston Celtics. Abdul-Jabbar was 12-of-19 from the field and broke the record of 12,681 field goals established by Wilt Chamberlain. Abdul-Jabbar after the 1989 season with 15,837 career field goals, a record that still stands. 

In 1960 – Dinah Washington and Brook Benton are at #1 on Billboard’s soul chart – then known as the Hot R&B Sides chart – for the first of ten consecutive weeks with Baby (You’ve Got What It Takes). It was the third of five #1 soul hits for Washington, the fourth of six soul #1s for Benton and their first of two together. The song also peaked at #5 on Billboard’s Hot 100. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

I grew fond of her company, and at this time being under no religious restraints, I attempted familiarities (another erratum), which she repulsed with proper resentment.
Benjamin Franklin
Autobiography

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

The Pittsburgh Steelers are the only team to win consecutive Super Bowls twice, winning Super Bowls IX and X and then winning XIII and XIV.

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard. 

What active NBA player holds the record for most career field goals? – Answer next time!

Go Gaylon! Visit Gaylon on Facebook here.

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The Diary of a Nobody/February 7

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The Daily Dose/Sunday, February 7, 2021

The Daily Dose/February 7, 2021
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

The Sunday Bottom 5
A ranking of some things.

1. Super Bowl LV This isn’t even going to be close…Combine Mr Super Bowl, still going strong at 105, and the fact an old Navy buddy’s son plays for the Buccaneers and it’s no contest, Tampa Bay in a rout, 73-10. 

2. Super Bowl LV The defending champions and the best young quarterback in a generation???…You’ve got to be kidding, Super Bowl LV isn’t going to be close, with the Chiefs becoming the eighth team to win consecutive Super Bowls 49-2. 

3. Lauren DaigleAfter 116 non-consecutive weeks at #1 – a Billboard all-chart record – hit single You Say drops to runner-up spot this week on Hot Christian Singles chart, the fourth time it is dropped out of the #1 slot…Daigle shows Christian grace, surrendering top spot so some loser song that’s been on the chart for 46 weeks can say it, too, has been to #1. 

4. Ex-Presidential Intel Briefings  – Biden Administration has decided not to give former President Trump customary intel briefings…Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters concur and remain “pretty sure” they wouldn’t give Trump a briefing on their fave McDonalds breakfast sandwich, much less sensitive intelligence information. 

5. Fake News Spot CheckWith President Biden stubbornly sticking to facts, newly out-of-work fact-checkers spike US unemployment rate to 73%…Click here for a look at fake news some amongst us actually believed…From the AP. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

It’s Read Free Sunday. Enjoy today’s Diary entry with Sparrow’s compliments. 

The Diary of a Nobody –  Sparrow just misses out on a 50-hour sleep week. Today’s Diary. 

Now, this only 30 minutes shy of a 50-hour sleep week and regular readers of this crap know those aren’t passed out with the rations, but there was no temptation to fudge the figures, the integrity of the Sleep Log is too important. 

———

Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device. 

Columns, books, shopping lists, click here to get in on the laughs.
4Ever & Ever ($8.99) and monthly ($2.99) plans available. 

———

On This Date
The long march to today. 

In 1894 – The Cripple Creek miners’ strike begins in central Colorado. The strike was a response to a January attempt by mine owners to implement a ten-hour workday without a corresponding raise. The strike lasted for five months and resulted in a union victory and the strike remains the only time – in response to owners forming their own force – a state militia has been brought in to support striking workers. 

In 1970 – The NBA expands to 17 teams, announcing the addition of the Buffalo Braves, the Cleveland Cavaliers and the Portland Trailblazers. The teams would begin play later in the year, with the NBA expanding the Eastern and Western conference into two divisions. Portland finished with the most wins, 29 and today Portland and Cleveland are still in the same cities, while the Braves moved to San Diego in 1978 and today are the Los Angeles Clippers. 

In 1976 – Paul Simon is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the first of three consecutive weeks with 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover. It was the ninth of 13 Top 40 solo hits for Simon,   his fifth of nine Top 10 hits and remains his only #1 solo hit, which followed three #1s with Art Garfunkel. The song also peaked at #23 in Great Britain and was Billboard’s 8th biggest song of the year. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

What dies is only our human meaning…Once we understand who that someone is, death no longer bothers us. Nor does time.
Deng Ming-Dao
365 Tao

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

The command module pilot for Apollo 14 was Stuart Roosa. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard. 

Which is the only team to win consecutive Super Bowls twice? – Answer next time!

Go Gaylon! Visit Gaylon on Facebook here.

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