The Bottom Ten/NCAA Week 16
Don’t even start. The Bottom Ten is free this season.
The Bottom Ten/NCAA Week 16
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
Though most teams completed their body of work for consideration in the final Bottom Ten survey this past weekend, the race for the ESPNCup – symbolic of collegiate Bottom Ten supremacy – still isn’t over as key games remain.
And veteran Bottom Ten fan(s) know the Conference of the Year race isn’t over, either. Though the MAC is, of course, the odds on favorite, some lousy Big Ten and SEC teams have games this weekend that could alter the race.
With most teams in the hunt for the final Bottom Ten survey not playing this weekend, the final NCAA Bottom Ten Survey of 2020 (2020) will move next Tuesday. This week your Bottom Ten pollsters are pleased to present a look at the key matchups this week.
This week’s thrillers:
This Week’s Clash of the Titans: Vanderbilt at Georgia – In a season where running the table might not be enough, 0-9 Commodores need to lose and lose big to secure shot at first-ever B-10 title…Turn-of-century merging of Athletic, Student Affairs departments could see student chaplain deliver pregame benediction before handling long snapper duties.
The Daily Dose/Monday, December 14, 2020
The Daily Dose/December 14, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
Leading Off
Notes from around our human experience.
Leading Off will return.
Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually.
The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow’s trans-Atlantic cruise next spring has been canceled.
The modest deposit I left for the cruise itself can be applied for a future cruise, and yours truly has already dropped over two grand for clothes and luggage so you can damn well be sure ol’ Sparrow will be cruising sometime, goddammit.
The Regular Guys/Chapter 16 – Lenny and Larry are in Larry’s small hometown to host a high school reunion and Lenny gets a small town haircut.
The haircut was quicker than you’d think it would be, sort of like an execution, and, Larry had to admit, not too bad, for Gordie. Larry had seen, even worn, worse over the years. Still though, Lenny’s hair looked like badgers had just attacked it.
Columns, books, shopping lists, click here to get in on the laughs.
4Ever & Ever ($8.99) and monthly ($2.99) plans available.
On This Date
The long march to today.
In 1650 – Anne Green, an English domestic servant, is hanged, having been condemned for killing an unborn child who had miscarried. The hanging was a failure. Though believed dead when cut down after hanging for 30 minutes, the following day a faint pulse was detected and attempts to revive Greene succeeded. She was granted a reprieve from her death sentence and then a pardon for her crime and moved to the country, where she married and had three children before dying for real in 1659.
In 1988 – The Miami Heat end the NBA’s longest losing streak to start a season in an 89-88 win over the Los Angeles Clippers. The Heat had started their inaugural NBA season 0-17, breaking the record of 0-15 established by the 1972-73 Philadelphia 76ers. The record was tied by the 1998-99 Clippers and the 2014-15 76ers and the record is now 18, done twice, by the 2009-10 New Jersey Nets and the 2015-16 76ers. The Heat would finish the season with a 15-67 record.
In 1969 – Charley Pride is at #1 on Billboard’s country chart – then known as the Hot Country Singles chart – for the first of three consecutive weeks with (I’m So) Afraid of Losing You. It was the second of 30 #1 country songs for Pride and his ninth of 52 Top 10 country hits. The song also peaked at #74 on the Hot 100, his first of eight pop hits. Pride died this past Saturday at the age of 86.
Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.
I see to nothing. Events see to me. I am acted upon, no more.
Gore Vidal
Lincoln
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar.
Queen Elizabeth I was the English monarch who authorized Sir Francis Drake’s circumnavigation of the earth.
Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.
What was Charley Pride’s biggest hit on the Hot 100? – Answer next time!
The Daily Dose/Sunday, December 13, 2020
The Daily Dose/December 13, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
The Sunday Bottom 5
The very best of the very worst of the week that was.
1. Federal Executions – Death house revolving door in closing days of Trump Administration, as Feds execute two more this week, for a total of ten (10) in 2020 (2020) and three (3) more could make the last walk before Trump leaves office…Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters “pretty sure” they aren’t any safer because these people are dead.
2. COVID Vaccine – We are as pleased as you are to note that 50ish hack Internet columnists at top of list to receive COVID vaccine, though it comes too late to save trans-Atlantic cruise that had been booked for April.
3. Lauren Daigle – After 114 non-consecutive weeks at #1 on Hot Christian Singles chart – a Billboard all-time, all-chart record – singer’s hit You Say nowhere to be found on current 50-spot survey as Christmas songs take over…Sunday Botton 5 pollsters “pretty sure” they have no idea if song will return after holidays or if this is the end of one of the great marks in chart history.
4. Minor League Baseball – Ouch…40 minor league teams given their pink slips this week, as organized baseball, hardly for the first time, contracts the minor leagues…Move actually makes some sense but boy, it’s sad to see such a big chunk of Americana flushed down the toilet.
5. President Trump Fact Check – Winding down a run unprecedented in fact-checking history – making even Nixon look like an amateur – the Liar-in-Chief shows no signs of slowing down before leaving office…Click here for the latest, from the Associated Press.
Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually.
It’s read free Sunday, so enjoy both of these august features with our compliments.
The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow has news from the hotel’s morning coffee service.
The big news is we are out of half and half creamer!!!…I am not making that up…Evidently, it all expired…Thing is, tho, my powers of observation have diminished to the point where I didn’t immediately notice its absence when I put out the creamer rack for Morning Coffee Service (MCS)…The French vanilla creamer was three wide and hazelnut was two high, but I didn’t notice that until the pot of hot water was brought out a bit later…The box of expired creamer near the trash can in the back coffee room should have been a clue, too.
The Regular Guys/Chapter 15 – Lenny and Larry debut as Las Vegas Strip headliners.
Ladies and Gentlemen, good evening and welcome to opening night at the All-American Theater at The Las VegasUSA Hotel and Casino! And now, from someplace funny, please welcome the resident misfits here at Las VegasUSA, Lenny and Larry, The Regular Guys!
Columns, books, shopping lists, click here to get in on the laughs.
4Ever & Ever ($8.99) and monthly ($2.99) plans available.
On This Date
The long march to today.
In 1577 – Sir Francis Drake – along with five ships and 164 men (a captured ship was added later) leave England on a circumnavigation of the earth. After rounding the tip of South America, the expedition headed north to what is now California before heading west. The expedition conducted numerous raids and returned with significant amounts of treasure, mostly stolen from the Spanish. Drake and 58 crew members would return in September 1580.
In 1998 – Gary Anderson of the Minnesota Vikings establishes a new NFL record for most consecutive field goals made in a 38-28 win over the Baltimore Ravens. Anderson made six field goals in the game, one of them his 34th straight, and research into whose record he broke was inconclusive. The record was later broken by Mike Vanderjact of the Indianapolis Colts and is now held by Adam Vinatieri with 44.
In 1986 – Bruce Hornsby and the Range is at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the only week with The Way It Is. It was the second chart single for the group, the first of six Top 40 hits, the first of three Top 10 hits and remains their only #1 song. The song also went to #1 in the Netherlands and Canada, peaked at #15 in Great Britain and due to when it charted was Billboard’s eighth biggest hit of 1987.
Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.
America’s challenge of today has forged man’s destiny of tomorrow.
Gene Cernan
Commander, Apollo 17
The last human to set foot on the moon, 12/13/72
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar.
Bobby Vinton’s biggest hits on the Hot 100 were Roses Are Red (My Love) (1962) and There! I’ve Said It Again (1964), both of which spent four weeks at #1.
Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.
Who was the English monarch that authorized the Drake expedition? – Answer next time!
The Diary of a Nobody/December 12
Of course it’s Read Free Sunday. Today’s Diary entry is on the house.
Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…
Saturday, December 13
It turns out the guy in 227 isn’t dead after all…Recall last week he was nowhere to be seen and his account was in arrears $700 or so and yours truly wondered if he might not be dead…Well, he was at the front desk when I reported for duty and Front Desk Manager Brandon didn’t have him on the floor handcuffed and later he said he had paid up.
The Regular Guys/Chapter 15
Opening Night
The Las VegasUSA Hotel and Casino
Southwest Corner of Sahara Avenue and Las Vegas Boulevard
Las Vegas, Nevada
Following their triumphant second tour at The Golden Nugget, the bidding for The Regular Guys talents had been, if not completely out of hand, competitive enough to keep Morty fairly busy and eventually resulted in a four-year deal at the brand new The Las VegasUSA Hotel and Casino at a ridiculously high salary.
The Daily Dose/Saturday, December 12, 2020
The Daily Dose/December 12, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience.
Leading Off is enjoying some time off.
Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually.
The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow has the latest gas mileage figure for the new rise.
This is a tad better than the 32 MPG we’ve been getting for a while now, but certainly not anything to get too worked up over…The big news is ol’ Sparrow is completely addicted to paying for his gas with the convenience store’s app…All you have to do is remove the gas cap and insert the nozzle…The app does everything else: it’s already identified that you are at a station when you’ve opened the app and all you have to do is enter the pump number – #8, my usual – and in a few seconds your on-file credit card is authorized and the pump is ready to go…I’ve used my rewards number enuff I’ve already earned a free breakfast sandwich.
The Regular Guys/Chapter 14 – The Regular Guys accept an offer to headline on the Las Vegas Strip.
…we start spending too much time downtown we’re going to be labeled a downtown only act. Downtown is – and Lord knows you share this opinion with me Lenny – very nice, and The Golden Nugget has been the best of hosts, but The Strip is The Strip after all; let’s not fool ourselves.
Lenny looked at both of them. What had once caused him worry and confusion had now been simplified and made clear in a couple of sentences.
“Well, that would seem to settle it, then,” he said confidently. “I’m with Larry.”
“Good,” Morty said, not at all surprised with how this worked out, though he didn’t think it would’ve taken this long. “Now all we have to do is determine which strip offer to take. A couple of offers are particularly intriguing…”
Columns, books, shopping lists, click here to get in on the laughs.
4Ever & Ever ($8.99) and monthly ($2.99) plans available.
On This Date
The long march to today.
In 1862 – The USS Cairo, an ironclad warship, is sunk on the Yazoo River near Vicksburg, Mississippi by Confederate troops that had attached an electrically detonated underwater mine to its hull. Originally serving with the US Army on the Mississippi and Ohio rivers, the Cairo had been transferred to the Navy in October for further service on western rivers. The raising of the Cairo was completed in 1964 and it is now on display at the Vicksburg National Military park.
In 1953 – Maurice Richard of the Montreal Canadiens becomes the NHL’s all-time leader in points scored in a 7-2 won over the New York Rangers. Richard has a goal and two assists, finishing the game with 611 career points to break the record established by former teammate Elmer Lach in February 1952. Richard’s record was broken in 1960 by Gordie Howe while Richard was still playing and the record is now held by Wayne Gretzky with 2,857 points.
In 1964 – Bobby Vinton is at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the only week with Mr Lonely. It was the fourth and final #1 song for Vinton and his sixth of nine Top 10 hits. In its 15 weeks on the chart, nine of those weeks were spent in the Top 10, including four straight weeks at #3 after it fell from #1. Vinton co-wrote the song with Gene Allan and initially, his record company gave it to Buddy Greco, who had peaked at #64 with it two years earlier.
Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.
…the praise of the praiseworthy is above all rewards.
J.R.R. Tolkien
The Lord of the Rings
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar.
The NBA record for lowest shooting percentage in a game by both teams is 24.6 %, by the Milwaukee Hawks and the Minneapolis Lakers on Nov 6, 1954. The game was played in Buffalo.
Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.
What was Bobby Vinton’s biggest hit on the Hot 100? – Answer next time!