Backstairs at the Monte Carlo/April 2 & 6
The Daily Dose/Monday, August 24, 2020
The Daily Dose/August 24, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience.
Leading Off will return.
Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually.
The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow has a busy night at the hotel.
There was always something…The sundry stand continued to be ravaged all night…There were phone calls…Someone seemingly always needed something…Then I’m doing the billing and I’m thinking to myself gee, there certainly a lot of departures tonight, even for a weekend, when I realize I’ve been billing the entire hotel, both those staying over and those departing…So there was more time lost, and I ended up shredding no small of folios for stayover guests and folios weren’t finished being delivered until 0230, about as late a time as there is.
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo: The clocks go forward, but this will not affect the hotel unit’s final ten-minute breaks.
Key, of course, will be OMP’s final 10-10. Henry 1 traditionally goes at 0515, but since there isn’t going to be a 0515 who knows what the hell is going to happen, although you can rest assured OMP, and the rest of your hardworking Henry units, will get their final 10-10’s. You don’t need to worry about that.
The Bottom Ten/2020 Opening Remarks, Sponsored by COVID-19: The announcement you’ve all been waiting for: there will be content in 2020.
…it’s hard for a column that ranks lousy college football teams – like The Bottom Ten, for instance – to have any credibility, never a strong suit, anyway, without MAC participation.
So instead of exciting fresh content this year, we are pleased to present thrilling, tired old rehashed content from years past. Your more or less hardworking Bottom Ten pollsters are already scouring the archives for the best columns from each week, the first of which will run tomorrow.
Free Stuff
The same trick the drug dealers use.
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo
Clock in with the graveyard crew of the Monte Carlo Security Department on the glamorous Las Vegas Strip.
Click here for the first two months of the funniest Vegas memoir ever.
Criminals, Courtesans and Constables
Gaylon’s latest novel takes place everywhere from throne rooms to death row.
Click here to read the first four chapters with our compliments.
The Regular Guys
Coming soon! Meet Lenny and Larry, two comedians going nowhere on their own who team up and become the biggest act in show business.
Click on the button to get started to read The Diary of a Nobody, Backstairs at the Monte Carlo and Criminals, Courtesans and Constables for only $4.99, a steal.
On This Date
History’s long march to today.
In 1814 – The British Army, following a victory at the Battle of Bladensburg, occupy and burn the White House, the US Capitol and other buildings in Washington City, now Washington, D.C., in the War of `1812. Though this was the second time the British had taken the American capital in war – they had also taken Philadelphia in the Revolution – they didn’t win either war, which is rare in combat.
In 1975 – Davey Lopes of the Los Angeles Dodgers establishes a new major league record for most consecutive stolen bases in a 5-3, 14-inning loss to the Montreal Expos. Lopes had 3 steals, giving him 38 consecutive stolen bases, to break the record of 36 established by Max Carey in 1922-23. The streak came to an end in the ninth inning, when he was thrown out by Gary Carter. The record was broken in 1988-89 by Vince Coleman of the St Louis Cardinals, who stole 50 consecutive bases, a record that still stands. Lopes’ mark is still the record for consecutive steals in one season.
In 1946 –To Each His Own by Eddy Howard is at #1 on Billboard’s Best Selling Singles chart – one of several predecessors to the Hot 100 – for the third of five non-consecutive weeks. It was the first of 42 chart singles for Howard, a popular bandleader of the time, and his first of two #1 songs ((It’s No) Sin, two weeks, 1951). A version of the song by Freddy Martin followed Howard’s at #1, the second of the three times different versions of the same song have succeeded each other at #1 on a Billboard pop chart.
Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.
The first lesson of philosophy is that we may all be mistaken. – Will Durant, The Story of Civilization, Vol 2: The Lives of the Greeks
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know.
The Cincinnati Reds have given five home runs in an inning four times, the most of any team.
Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar.
What were the other two songs that had versions by different artists follow each other at #1 on the Billboard Best Selling Singles chart? – Answer next time!
The Bottom Ten/2020 Opening Remarks Sponsored by COVID-19
The Bottom Ten/2020 Opening Remarks
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
Valued Reader,
This is, of course, the week when that fall staple and American classic, The Bottom Ten would normally return. As we noted a couple of weeks ago, the Mid-American Conference’s (MAC) cancelation of their 2020 season, as well as other teams, conferences and divisions announcing they weren’t playing, either, this fall, obliged Bottom Ten pollsters to announce they, too, would be suspending operations for the season. Because let’s be honest, it’s hard for a column that ranks lousy college football teams – like The Bottom Ten, for instance – to have any credibility, never a strong suit, anyway, without MAC participation.
We may, or we may not, run an NFL Bottom Ten. 90% of this trade is inspiration and we’ll see what strikes us. Offhand, we’ve got to be honest, we are not seeing any point to playing games without fans in attendance and there will probably not be a 2020 NFL Bottom Ten.
So instead of exciting fresh content this year, we are pleased to present thrilling, tired old rehashed content from years past. Your more or less hardworking Bottom Ten pollsters are already scouring the archives for the best columns from each week, the first of which will run tomorrow.
And, because we feel guilty enough charging you for original crap, the 2020 Bottom Ten will be on the house.
Many thanks for reading,
Gaylon
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo/April 1
The Daily Dose/Sunday, August 23, 2020
The Daily Dose/August 23, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
The Sunday Bottom Five
The very best of the very worst of the week that was.
1. USA! USA! – Let’s be honest, America is not flourishing right now, it is floundering…Our country is a fractured, partisan, bickering mess, unable to muster a coordinated response to a virus that probably could have been dispatched months ago…Only nation to put men on moon now halfway between the prosperity and influence it once had and the oblivion that awaits it.
2. USA! USA! II – America deserves better than being disease-ridden and led by a lying sexual predator who believes the moon is part of Mars…Hold on to your hats, though, only 72 days until Americans herald to the world – and themselves – whether they’re ready to make some changes or not.
3. Jo Jorgensen – Despite knowing the moon is not part of Mars and having moderate, party-transcending policies on a variety of issues, Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters still “pretty sure” Libertarian nominee for president won’t get more than a smattering of votes this November.
4. Democratic Party Fact Check – The GOP hardly has an exclusive on misinformation…Click here for Democratic Party lies about the minimum wage.
5. President Trump Fact Check, Co-Starring Prominent Democrats – With major-party conventions underway, the misinformation flying like bombs at the Battle of Britain…Click here for the latest.
Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually.
It’s Read Free Sunday for your fave daily features.
The Diary of a Nobody: There’s a new touchless check-in procedure at the hotel.
…touchless check-in is ultimately academic, too, because you can implement all the touchless processes you want but you are still going to have to manually prepare the room keys…There’s no way around this…Both the key packet and keys must be touched by a human…Now, our keys are sanitized when they’re returned to the front desk, but if your desk clerk is wracked with COVID, you’re screwed.
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo: Gaylon spends the night at the employee parking lot.
Judy and I actually moved on a call during this time. She was patrolling the employee lot when she got on the horn.
– Gaylon, did this gold van just pull in?
I had had my feet up and had no clue what the hell she was talking about. I tried to sound like I did, though.
– I’m not entirely sure.
Turns out it was a van parked nearby that had its back window missing, and, Judy thought, someone sleeping in it. So I rolled out of the shack and joined her.
I have my jacket on.
Free Stuff
The same trick the drug dealers use.
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo
Clock in with the graveyard crew of the Monte Carlo Security Department on the glamorous Las Vegas Strip.
Click here for the first two months of the funniest Vegas memoir ever.
Criminals, Courtesans and Constables
Gaylon’s latest novel takes place everywhere from throne rooms to death row.
Click here to read the first four chapters with our compliments.
The Regular Guys
Coming soon! Meet Lenny and Larry, two comedians going nowhere on their own who team up and become the biggest act in show business.
Click on the button to get started to read The Diary of a Nobody, Backstairs at the Monte Carlo and Criminals, Courtesans and Constables for only $4.99, a steal.
On This Date
History’s long march to today.
In 1942 – The Battle of Stalingrad begins in World War II, as Axis elements led by Nazi Germany battles the Soviet Red Army. The Germans would eventually control upwards of 90% of the city, though a November counterattack resulted in the Germans encirclement. The Battle of Stalingrad lasted until the following February, ending after the Germans surrendered. Stalingrad has been known as Volgograd since 1961.
In 1961 – The San Francisco Giants become the third team to hit five home runs in an inning in a 14-0 win over the Cincinnati Reds. The Giants got home runs from Orlando Cepeda, Felipe Alou, Jim Davenport, Willie Mays and John Orsino, along with five other hits and three Reds errors in the 12-run 9th inning. The Giants had also done it in 1939 and the Philadelphia A’s had done it in 1949 and since then the feat has been accomplished three more times.
In 1969 – Johnny Cash is at #1 on Billboard’s country chart – then known as the Hot Country Singles chart – for the first of five consecutive weeks with A Boy Named Sue. It was Cash’s tenth of 13 #1 songs on the country chart and also peaked at #2 on the Hot 100 and remains Cash’s only Top 10 pop hit. The song was written by Shel Silverstein and was recorded live at Cash’s famous concert at San Quentin State Prison in California
Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.
…and with the obstinate patience that is half of genius, he slowly carves the quarries into living statuary. – Will Durant, The Story of Civilization, Vol 2: The Lives of the Greeks
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know.
The first country to win the America’s Cup besides the United States was Australia, which won it in 1983.
Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar.
Which team has given up five home runs in an inning the most times? – Answer next time!
The Diary of a Nobody/August 22
Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…
Saturday, August 22
Had some moderate walk-in traffic in the first hour or so tonight…In fact, one couple came in before I’d even logged into the system…The gentleman half asked for a room.
Let me see what I have available, sir.
I made some other small talk because logging into the system isn’t instantaneous…Actually, it’s best to know this beforehand – it used to be customary in the trade for the person you’re relieving to tell you rates and availability – but yours truly was derelict in that duty,
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo/March 29
March 29
I was pleasantly surprised to spend the night posted at Eddie – 1, the employee parking lot. It was just what the doctor ordered. Today was Monday for me, and I usually get a nap in before heading in but when I laid down around 1800 I didn’t sleep well at all and I wasn’t looking forward to killing time standing around the casino all night. The only downside was since I didn’t know about the assignment in advance, I couldn’t wear my outside uniform, but this is a matter of no particular consequence, though that didn’t stop me from whining about it constantly in briefing.
The Daily Dose/Saturday, August 22, 2020
The Daily Dose/August 22, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
Leading Off
Notes from around our human experience.
USA! USA!: It’s a presidential election year, so it is almost obligatory the Democrats are championing an increase in the minimum wage. It’s what Democrats do because they are never entirely happy unless they are running everyone’s lives.
Dry, Technical Matter: The first federal minimum wage was 25 cents/hour – a bit less than $5 in today’s money – established in 1934. The current federal minimum wage of $7.25 an hour has been in effect since 2009 and Democrats want to increase it to $15, just a bit above the poverty level for a family of five.
Gaylon For…Oh, Hell, He’s Not On The Ballot This November: There are a couple of arguments against the minimum wage, one philosophical, the other economic.
Some Philosophy Crap: One, it is not the government’s job to mandate wages. A wage, or any other condition of employment, is a contract between employer and employee that the government must stay out of. Anyone not happy with what they are making is free to put the work into getting the skills, education and experience that will get them the work they want.
More Dry, Technical Matter: Economically, some businesses will not be able to afford this. Either they will go out of business or they will make do with fewer workers. Those that can afford the increase will, of course, pass the cost on to their customers. This means those with government-mandated minimum wages will face a higher cost of living, making their buying power about what it was before their raise.
The Bottom Line: The purpose of our government is to provide a free market for businesses to sell their wares and for workers to sell their labor. A minimum wage is beyond the scope of both a democratic government and a free market.
Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually.
The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow is still torn about getting a haircut.
Recall in June, after lockdown was lifted, I went to this dolt in the next county and he butchered it and there was Wednesday’s fiasco at the chain place here in town where I couldn’t get in…Ol’ Sparrow was actually tempted to let it grow then but recall I was US Senate candidate with a primary coming up and it was best to present as professional a look as possible…Now that I punted my primary this past June, I can look like Charles Manson and nobody would care.
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo: Gaylon is in dispatch and the crew is very shorthanded.
This left one officer, Bi-Bob, available, but even he was busy taking money from some tables to the cage, so pit one could set up for a slot tournament.
88Dick had actually called me a couple of hours earlier and instructed me to find two officers for this evolution. I said yes, sir and checked the schedule and saw we would only be able to produce two officers if we hired and trained one in the next ten minutes.
Free Stuff
The same trick the drug dealers use.
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo
Clock in with the graveyard crew of the Monte Carlo Security Department on the glamorous Las Vegas Strip.
Click here for the first two months of the funniest Vegas memoir ever.
Criminals, Courtesans and Constables
Gaylon’s latest novel takes place everywhere from throne rooms to death row.
Click here to read the first four chapters with our compliments.
The Regular Guys
Coming soon! Meet Lenny and Larry, two comedians going nowhere on their own who team up and become the biggest act in show business.
Click on the button to get started to read The Diary of a Nobody, Backstairs at the Monte Carlo and Criminals, Courtesans and Constables for only $4.99, a steal.
On This Date
History’s long march to today.
In 1485 – The crown of England changes hands as forces led by Henry VII – who began the day as Henry Tudor, Earl of Richmond – defeat forces led King Richard III at the Battle of Bosworth Field in central England. Historians still have rather dull arguments over whether this ended the War of Roses or whether the war actually continued through assorted plots to overthrow Henry VII. Henry had returned from exile in France in August, remains the last monarch to earn the English crown in battle and would reign until his death in 1509.
In 1851 – The yacht America, sponsored by the New York Yacht Club, wins the first of what is now known as the America’s Cup off the coast of the Isle of Wight off the southern coast of England. The race was organized by the Royal Yacht Squadron, featured 15 yachts and was known as the RYS £100 Cup. America won the 53 nautical mile race in 10 hours and 34 minutes and the America’s Cup remains the oldest trophy competed for in international sports. The next one is scheduled for 2021 in New Zealand.
In 1970 – Bread is at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the only week with Make It With You. It was first chart single for the group, their first of twelve Top 40 and six Top 10 hits and remains their only #1 song. The song spent 13 weeks in the Top 40 including ten weeks in the Top 10. Make It With You also peaked at #5 in Great Britain and was Billboard’s 13th biggest song of the year.
Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.
Never in the world does hatred cease by hatred; hatred ceases by love. – Buddha
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know.
The four members of the Crew Cuts met in Toronto, where they sang in a choir together as boys.
Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar.
Which was the first country to defeat the United States for the America’s Cup? – Answer next time!