Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…
Thursday, October 15 The big news from the walk this morning was there’s a new house for sale in the neighborhood, two houses up Main Street from The Shire…For those of you keeping score at home, this is on the same side of Main Street as The Shire, so it’s across the street and one house down (or up, depending on how you look at it) from that dump three houses down Main Street that is still for sale…The only problem is ol’ Sparrow couldn’t find a listing for it online anywhere, not even at the listed realtor’s homepage so it’s not clear how much the house is being offered for.
October 4 Here was your Henry lineup – yes, your Henry lineup! – for last night:
Henry 1 – moi Henry 2 – X-Ray Henry 3 – White Sox Metzger
I am not making that up, I was Henry 1 last night, my first Henry 1 assignment in ages! Since it was Monday for me, I had called to see what my assignment was and 77Charles said Dougie Fresh had just called off and would I like to be Henry 1?
Some of you may recall that for the past three weeks or so at the Veterans Service Office (VSO) I’ve been dealing with Mr W…He’s the older vet who called me needing to sign up for VA medical care PDQ, the one I personally visited so he could sign the application, the one who wouldn’t let me in his house because it was so decrepit, the one who, almost offhandedly, said he was going to get kicked out of his lousy, decrepit home in a week, tho some investigation by yours truly found that not to be true…Those dealings will end tomorrow when he will die after the plug is pulled on his life support system.
To get him responsive we had to resort to pouring water on him, a time-tested, though perhaps not approved, MCSD procedure. He is so gone though, it takes what seems like a liter to get him going and Radtke and I don’t get really good results until we start pouring it in his ear.
The Bottom Ten/NCAA Week 7: In case you missed it, here’s this week’s NCAA Bottom Ten., offered with our compliments this year.
1. Vanderbilt (0-3; lost to South Carolina 41-7) Mitigating Factors: A B-10 legacy team thanks to strong B-10 runs in Double Aughts, Commodores find first B-10 title theirs for the losing after ascending B-10 throne…Commodores still hampered by turn-of-century decision to merge Athletic, Student Affairs departments as special teams earn 379 penalty yards after Interpretive Dance majors take over kicking game. FunFact: Commodores 0-3 for second straight year, the fifth time this century, the 12th time since 1969 and, well, you get the idea. Next Loss: at Missouri
Free Stuff The same trick the drug dealers use.
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo Clock in with the graveyard crew of the Monte Carlo Security Department on the glamorous Las Vegas Strip.
Clickhere for the first two months of the funniest Vegas memoir ever.
Criminals, Courtesans and Constables Gaylon’s latest novel takes place everywhere from throne rooms to death row.
Clickhere to read the first four chapters with our compliments.
Click on the button to get 4Ever and Ever access to everything Gaylon: books, columns, tax returns, the whole nine yards, for only $29.99, a steal.
On This Date The long march to today.
In 1582 – The Gregorian calendar, the calendar still in use in most of the world, is first adopted in several European countries as Oct 4 is followed by Oct 15. The calendar had been promulgated by Pope Gregory XIII to correct inaccuracies in the Julian calendar. Though Gergory’s decree had no authority beyond the Catholic Church and the Papal States, Protestant countries began adopting it in 1652 and Great Britain and her colonies, including what would become the United States, adopted the calendar in 1752. Due to a variety of factors, including the precession of the axis and the slowing rotation of the earth, the Gregorian calendar is still off by about 27 seconds every year.
In 2014 – The Kansas City Royals become the first team to win eight consecutive games in a single baseball postseason, defeating the Baltimore Orioles 2-1 in Game 4 of the American League Championship Series. Previously, the Royals had swept the Angels in three games in an American League Division Series and began the playoffs with a win over the Oakland Athletics in an American League Wild Card Game. The win extended their overall postseason winning streak to eleven games – counting the last three games of the 1985 World Series – and gave the Royals the American League pennant. The streak would end in Game 1 of the World Series, a loss to the San Francisco Giants.
In 1949 – That Lucky Old Sun by Frankie Laine is at #1 for the third of eight consecutive weeks on Billboard’s Best Sellers in Stores chart – a predecessor to the Hot 100. It was the first of three #1 songs for Laine and in November Laine would become the sixth act to succeed themselves at #1 when Mule Train went to the top. The song was also at #1 on Billboard’s Most Played by Jockeys and Most Played in Jukeboxes charts.
Some Philosophy Crap The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.
Fortune is guiding our affairs better than we ourselves could have wished. Miguel de Cervantes Don Quixote
Answer To The Last Trivia Question It’s not who you know, but what you know.
Calvin Smith of the United States broke Jim Hines’ 100-meter world record, running it in 9.93 seconds in 1983.
Today’s Stumper Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar.
Which team holds the major league record for most consecutive postseason games won? – Answer next time!
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Come on in and stay awhile. It’s Read Free Fortnight.
Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…
Wednesday, October 14 For the first time in my couple of years at the hotel there weren’t any rooms with dogs…I am not making that up.
Now, there’s been fewer than usual lately because, despite being more or less sold out for a while now, a lot of our guests are federal firefighters (and guys, you may – or you may not – be surprised at the number of cute chicks that are federal firefighters) and other workers and they generally don’t travel with dogs…Even with that, there were a handful of dogs in-house Monday and Tuesday, but none tonight, a Sparrow Hotel First.
The Daily Dose/October 14, 2020 By Gaylon Kent America’s Funniest Guy
Leading Off Notes from around the human experience.
USA! USA!: We received our ballot in the mail this week and even though we aren’t on it – for the first time since 2014 – we looked it over anyway, in case we do bother to vote.
Dry, Technical Matter: There are 21 candidates for president of the United States here in Colorado, where potential candidates only need to get 5,000 signatures to get on the ballot. You can also write in the name of your preferred candidate.
Fly In The Ointment: There are a couple of things we found distressing. One was the number of uncontested races. For our money, one is too many and on our small county ballot this year there are four, none of them dog catcher, all races you would expect multiple candidates in: state representative, district attorney, a county commissioner race and mayor of our small town.
Some Philosophy Crap: For a nation conceived in liberty, this is unacceptable. Without candidates and demanding and participating voters, the American experiment will fail.
Oh Yeah: The second thing that was moderately distressing was the sheer number of ballot initiatives to vote for. There are no less than eleven state measures. Good gravy, what do we pay a state legislature for? There’s even a constitutional amendment declaring only citizens can vote, despite the fact federal already dictates that.
The Bottom Line: There is a lot to get through on our ballot this year and, perhaps, there is on yours as well. We can whine about this and we can whine about that here in America, but we can’t whine about who’s in control of our government: we are. The fact our government is a fractured, partisan, bickering mess is our fault, but we can change that. We are going to take the time to sort through everything and make an informed decision and we hope you are, too.
I had to do without my glasses for a spell this morning, the second time this week I haven’t had them at the hotel…Recall earlier in the week I’d forgotten them at home…What happened was the gent in 143 came to drop off his laundry to be sent out…I had him fill out the slip but he didn’t have his glasses so I lent him mine, making a mental note to get them back…However, since yours truly can’t remember a goddamn thing anymore I forgot to get them back, despite the fact the mental note was made only a few seconds before, and he walked out wearing them…Fortunately, we had his number and I called him and he returned them.
The big news last night, though, was that Radtke got 15 minutes of face time with his woman, Nong. We had both written this one off, as his initial stalking didn’t produce a date, mainly because he never bothered to ask her out, but Radtke is back in the game, there is no doubt about it.
Radtke’s on his way to a great bachelor career. He’s got the obligatory couple-three lines in the water, finds minor, ticky-tack faults in the dates he does bother to go out on and has a crush on someone completely unattainable. If he can avoid knocking some broad up there is no reason he shouldn’t be completely set in his ways and bitter by the time he’s 40. Rich, X-Ray and myself agree that if you can hold out that long you can sit back and enjoy the rest of your life by yourself.
The Bottom Ten/NFL Week 7: To the bat poles! The Giants and the Jets tag-team to occupy the top spot in the race for The Dan Henning Trophy – symbolic of NFL Bottom Ten supremacy.
1. Gotham City (0-10; NY Giants: lost to Dallas 37-14; NY Jets: lost to Arizona 30-10) – B-10 pollsters “pretty sure” this is first time two New York football teams have been winless this late in season since New York Argyles and Staten Island Fairies were both 0-5 in 1977 New York Alternative Lifestyles Football League (NYALFL)…Next Loss: NY Giants: Washington; NY Jets: at Miami
Free Stuff The same trick the drug dealers use.
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo Clock in with the graveyard crew of the Monte Carlo Security Department on the glamorous Las Vegas Strip.
Clickhere for the first two months of the funniest Vegas memoir ever.
Criminals, Courtesans and Constables Gaylon’s latest novel takes place everywhere from throne rooms to death row.
Clickhere to read the first four chapters with our compliments.
Click on the button to get 4Ever and Ever access to everything Gaylon: books, columns, tax returns, the whole nine yards, for only $29.99, a steal.
On This Date The long march to today.
In 1066 – The Norman conquest of England begins as an army led by William, Duke of Normandy, defeats the English army, led by King Harold II in what History refers to as the Battle of Hastings. Harold died in the battle, leaving the English army leaderless, though the exact circumstances of his death remain unclear. The invasion had begun the month before and William would be crowned king in December, reigning as William I – also known as William the Conqueror – until 1087.
In 1968 – Jim Hines of the United States becomes the first person to run the 100-meters in under 10 seconds with automatic timing at the Summer Olympics in Mexico City. Hines won the gold medal with a time of 9.95 seconds to break the record of 10.02 seconds established by Charles Greene of the US in the semifinals the day before. Hines’ record would stand until 1983 and the record is now 9.58 seconds, done by Usain Bolt of Jamaica in 2009.
In 1967 – Soul Man by Sam and Dave is at #1 on the Billboard soul chart – then known as the Hot Rhythm and Blues Singles chart – for the first of seven consecutive weeks. It was the sixth of seven Top 10 hits on the soul chart for the duo and their second of two #1 soul songs (Hold On, I’m Comin’, one week, 1966). The song also peaked at #2 on the Hot 100 and remains their biggest pop hit. The song was written by Isaac Hayes and Dave Porter and returned to the Hot 100 in 1978 when a version by The Blues Brothers peaked at #14.
Some Philosophy Crap The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.
…there is no escaping the marks of life…it is we who select what we will become by the actions we perform. Deng Ming Dao 365 Tao
Answer To The Last Trivia Question It’s not who you know, but what you know.
The Kentucky Colonels and the Indiana Pacers were the only American Basketball Association teams to remain the same city with the same name for the association’s entire existence, 1967-76.
Today’s Stumper Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar.
Who broke Jim Hines’ world record in the 100-meters? – Answer next time!
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Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…
Tuesday, October 13 Another sold out/dead slow night at the hotel, tho ol’ Sparrow is pleased to report both the box of coffee and the box of French vanilla creamer – both in the back coffee room – needed to be replaced, so the knife got some use this morning, both in opening the fresh boxes and in breaking down the old boxes…The coffee box probably could have gone another day without being replaced but, as noted, you don’t want the rascals on day shift wondering exactly what in the hell the night auditor is doing all goddamn night and there’s no reason to make Tammy do it.
The Bottom Ten/NFL Week 7 By Gaylon Kent America’s Funniest Guy
As Bottom Ten staffers rush to complete paperwork for approval to expand survey to include all 32 teams, the race for The Dan Henning Trophy – symbolic of NFL Bottom Ten supremacy – is already being hailed as the tightest ever.
The cries of an east coast bias are starting to be heard, too, as the Chargers are the only team west of the Rockies that are ranked, though in a statement issued from their retreat in the Hamptons, Bottom Ten pollsters dismissed the allegations.
September 27 The big news is an employee died at work yesterday. It was a cage supervisor named Jim. He was in the second-floor offices above the cage when he had a heart attack. Special Ed and 88Dick responded but reportedly the heart attack was so bad he could’ve had it at his annual physical and it wouldn’t have done him any good. Jim was all of 38.
For the first time in quite a while, the left coffee pot was the first one replaced at Morning Coffee Service (MCS)…Now, specific records aren’t kept – I don’t know why they aren’t kept, knife usage is logged here for Pete’s sake – but it’s been a while…It worked out splendidly, too, as the left pot had enough left to refill the right pot…I’m still not entirely sure if this is in step with either company policy or established county health and safety standards but, on the other hand, I don’t know that they’re not, either.
The classes went well. Brandon is an EMT and has forgotten more first aid than I’ll ever know and all I had to do was sit in the back, drink coffee and throw a tidbit out there every now and then to reinforce that I was in overall command. The class wrapped up around 0300 and I put everything away, filled out the attendant paperwork in the EDR, where I ended up chatting with Princess Emma, whom I hadn’t talked to in weeks.
The Bottom Ten/NCAA Week 7: Vanderbilt takes command in the race for the ESPNCup, presented by COVID-19.
1. Vanderbilt (0-3; lost to South Carolina 41-7) Mitigating Factors: A B-10 legacy team thanks to strong B-10 runs in Double Aughts, Commodores find first B-10 title theirs for the losing after ascending B-10 throne…Commodores still hampered by turn-of-century decision to merge Athletic, Student Affairs departments as special teams earn 379 penalty yards after Interpretive Dance majors take over kicking game. FunFact: Commodores 0-3 for second straight year, the fifth time this century, the 12th time since 1969 and, well, you get the idea. Next Loss: at Missouri
Free Stuff The same trick the drug dealers use.
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo Clock in with the graveyard crew of the Monte Carlo Security Department on the glamorous Las Vegas Strip.
Click here for the first two months of the funniest Vegas memoir ever.
Criminals, Courtesans and Constables Gaylon’s latest novel takes place everywhere from throne rooms to death row.
Click here to read the first four chapters with our compliments.
Click on the button to get 4Ever and Ever access to everything Gaylon: books, columns, tax returns, the whole nine yards, for only $29.99, a steal.
On This Date The long march to today.
In 2010 – 33 coal miners – know to History as Los 33 – are rescued from a coal mine in northern Chile. Los 33 had spent 69 days trapped 2,300 feet underground and had made two days of emergency rations last 17 days, right up until they were discovered, eventually being rescued via a capsule being lowered through a tunnel bored for the purpose. The miners were generally in good health, though each had lost an average of 18 pounds. In 2013, the investigation into the disaster ended without any charges being filed. The ordeal had begun on August 5.
In 1967 – The American Basketball Association plays its first game, with the Oakland Oaks defeating the Anaheim Amigos 134-129. The ABA had eleven teams that first year and the first ABA title was won by the Pittsburgh Pipers, who defeated the New Orleans Buccaneers 4 games to 3 in the ABA Finals. The New York Nets and the Indiana Pacers were the only teams to win multiple ABA titles, each winning two. The ABA merged with the NBA in 1976 with the Nets, Pacers, Denver Nuggets and San Antonio Spurs joining the NBA.
In 1979 – Michael Jackson is at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the only week with Don’t Stop Till You Get Enough. It was the second of 13 #1 songs as a solo act for Jackson – a figure that includes Say Say Say with Paul McCartney – and only his second Top 40 hit since Ben went to #1 in 1972. The song went to #1 in eight other countries, including Norway and Denmark, peaked at #3 in Great Britain and also spent five weeks at #1 on Billboard’s soul chart. The song was written by Jackson and produced by Jackson and Quincy Jones.
Some Philosophy Crap The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.
…for to go against conscience is neither right nor safe. Martin Luther Imperial Diet, Worms, Germany April 18, 1521
Answer To The Last Trivia Question It’s not who you know, but what you know.
Leonid Brezhnev succeeded Nikita Kruschev as general secretary of the Communist Party and leader of the Soviet Union.
Today’s Stumper Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar.
How many ABA teams were in the same city with the same name for the league’s entire existence? – Answer next time!
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Posted in2020|Comments Off on The Daily Dose/Tuesday, October 13
