Backstairs at the Monte Carlo/March 16 & 19
March 16
Here was your Henry lineup for last night:
Henry 1 – moi
Henry 2 – Code Four Carlin
Henry 3 – X-Ray
Lee called off. We are not entirely sure why, but it certainly is his prerogative as an International Henry Unit, to do so, so it’s no big deal.
The Daily Dose/Monday, August 17, 2020
The Daily Dose/August 17, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
Leading Off
Notes from around our human experience.
Leading Off will return.
Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually.
The Diary of a Nobody: A guy doesn’t want his girlfriend to know what room he’s in. Today’s Diary.
…the lady at the desk and the simultaneous phone call are not a coincidence…The woman needs a key to a room rented by her boyfriend, who is on the phone…He has two rooms, 220 and 225, and he is in 225 – that’s where the call came from – and while the girlfriend knows about both rooms, the dude is highly desirous the girlfriend does not know his room number…My instructions from him – while she is standing right in front of me – is to give her a key to 220 and not, under any goddamn circumstances, to let it slip out that he’s in 225.
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo: X-Ray takes command in the hotel.
This time X-Ray, showing the skills that are sending him straight to the top in the hotel racket, takes charge and wakes the guy up and tells him he has to keep his tee vee down. The guy was understandably startled to see two uniformed bald men in his room, but he got the message.
Click here for the first two months of complimentary entries.
Criminals, Courtesans and Constables/Chapter 19 – A Wondrous Imbroglio: The final chapter begins with our hero strapped to a gurney.
Bloody hell, that was quite a night. It began with me waking to a prospect few survive and ended with me leaving, alive and kicking, in the hearse that had been sent to take me corpse away.
I’d walked out of the death chamber.
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On This Date
History’s long march to today.
In 1958 – Pioneer 0 – man’s first attempt to both fly beyond earth orbit and orbit the moon – lists off from Cape Canaveral, Florida. The attempt was not successful, as it exploded 73 seconds after liftoff, about 10 miles downrange over the Atlantic Ocean. Though never known for sure, it’s thought the explosion was caused by a loose bearing causing a pump to stop that eventually caused a tank to rupture. Space travel was still in its infancy, and the failure was not a surprise.
In 1894 – John Wadsworth of the Louisville Colonels establishes new major league records for most hits and singles given up in a game in a 29-4 loss to the Philadelphia Phillies. Wadsworth gave up 36 hits and 28 singles, both major league records that still stand. Research into whose records Wadsworth broke was inconclusive, and the Phillies 29 runs scored was the fifth-highest total in major league history.
In 1985 – Tears for Fears is at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the third and final consecutive week with Shout. The song also went to #1 in seven other countries, including Switzerland, the Netherlands and Australia, peaked at #4 in their native Great Britain and at #56 on Billboard’s soul chart. It was the third chart single and second and final #1 song for the group (Everybody Wants to Rule the World, two weeks, 1985).
Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.
The good is rare, that’s all, and not easy for most of us to live with. – Gore Vidal, Washington, D.C.
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know.
Freddie Fender’s original name was Baldemar Garza Huerta.
Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar.
How long were the Louisville Colonels in the National League? – Answer next time!
Criminals, Courtesans and Constables/Chapter 19 – A Wondrous Imbroglio
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo/March 11, 13 & 15
March 11
Here was your Henry lineup for last night:
Henry 1 – OMP
Henry 2 – moi
Henry 3 – X-Ray
Considering we were sold out and it’s NASCAR weekend, we were really slow. We did have to go to a room twice for a noise complaint, but even then the guy was asleep both times, which was pretty funny.
The Daily Dose/August 16, 2020
The Daily Dose/August 16, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
The Sunday Bottom 5
The very best of the very worst of the week that was.
1. President Donald Trump – Proclaimed this week that 1917-19 Spanish flu pandemic helped end World War II…Hardly surprising, though, as this is same man who believes the moon is part of Mars…79 days until election where American will herald to the world – and themselves – whether they are content with driving their country into the ground or whether they will demand better.
2. President Donald Trump – Still showing no leadership whatsoever, hardly a bulletin because he’s not a leader he’s an ignorant bully, but we knew that when we elected him…79 days until election where American will herald to the world – and themselves – whether they are content with driving their country into the ground or whether they will demand better.
3. Mail-In Voting – Useful tool of democracy taking beating lately, as distrust of post office – either feigned or real – is at all-time high…Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters, though, remain “pretty sure” that voters can avoid post office altogether by dropping off ballots at designated county sites.
4. USA! USA! – Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters as thrilled as you are NBA, NHL, MLB will decide champions this year but let’s be honest, there is no point to playing games without fans in attendance…It is merely a TV spectacle, an opportunity to sell us cars and beer.
5. President Trump Fact Check – The 5-hole staple, click here for the very latest from America’s Liar-in-Chief.
Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually.
Sunday Funday!
Read today’s entries from The Diary of a Nobody and Backstairs at the Monte Carlo with our compliments today.
The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow gets a good day’s rest. Today’s Diary.
In was up about 1230 to use the can and thought, f*ck, here we go again, the same crap as last Saturday, but I heroically crawled back in the sack and, in time, was asleep again and seemingly five minutes later a dream ended and BOOM it was 1800.
The downside was I missed prime rib night at the new restaurant…I rather enjoyed it last week and could have made it tonight, I suppose, but prime rib night is not as important as workout and walk.
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo: Gaylon masquerades as a first responder.
Look, I am not a doctor, nor do I play one on tee-vee. I have some first aid training and some common sense, but that’s about it; the sight of me bursting through your hotel room door with your girlfriend rather inert should not set your spirits soaring.
Click here for the first two months of complimentary entries.
Criminals, Courtesans and Constables: Friends, entries will resume Monday.
Click here to read the first four chapters of Criminals, Courtesans and Constables with our compliments.
You’re probably thinking reading all three of these features will cost you an arm and a leg. Wrong-0. $4.99 gets you access to all three of these American classics.
On This Date
History’s long march to today.
In 1930 – The first sound, color cartoon, Fiddlesticks, is released. It was produced and animated by Ub Iwerks, his first cartoon since leaving Walt Disney Studios. The star was Flip the Frog who might not have had the staying power of Mickey Mouse – who Iwerks created with Walt Disney – but still appeared in over three dozen features.
In 1890 – Bill Phillips of the Pittsburgh Alleghenys – now the Pirates – becomes the first major league pitcher to allow two grand slam home runs in a game and an inning in an 18-5 loss to the Chicago Colts, now the Cubs. Phillips allowed grand slams to Tom Burns and Malachi Kittredge in the fifth inning. The two grand slams in a game mark has been equaled many times, but Chan Ho Park of the Los Angeles Dodgers is the only pitcher in major league history to give up two grand slams in an inning, both to Fernando Tatis of the St Louis Cardinals, in 1999.
In 1975 – Freddie Fender is at #1 on Billboard’s country chart – then known as the Hot Country Singles chart – for the second and final consecutive week with Wasted Days and Wasted Nights. Fender had originally written and recorded the song in 1959, but the song’s release was postponed after Fender was convicted of marijuana possession. The song also peaked at #8 Billboard’s Hot 100 and spent a then-record 12 weeks at #1 on New Zealand’s pop chart. The song was Fender’s second of four #1 country hits, and his second of four Top 40 pop hits.
Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.
Talent is nothing but long patience. – Gustave Flaubert
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know.
The first country to defeat the United States in Olympic basketball was the Soviet Union, which defeated the US in the gold medal game 51-50. The US had won its first 63 Olympic basketball games.
Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar.
What was Freddie Fender’s given name? – Answer next time!
The Diary of a Nobody/August 15
Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…
Saturday, August 15
In one of the ultimate night auditor horrors, Front Desk Manager Brandon actually came by…It was 2315 or so and I was still up front when I heard the doors open…I look up, prepared to tell whatever hapless soul that wandered in that we were sold out when Brandon walks in…Crap…Front desk managers showing up on graveyard generally means the night auditor is fired, but Brandon merely wanted to pick up some plant that had been left in the back…He didn’t dawdle, either, saying howdy, getting the plant the saying goodbye.
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo/March 8 and 10
March 8
Houchins quit Sunday! He’s going to work at the new Red Rock Station at Charleston and 215. He said he’ll be making less, but he has an Air Force pension and he more or less freeloads off his wife anyway. Plus he noted his drive will be shorter and more convenient.
I am neither in mourning nor denial like I was with D-Dawg because Houchins isn’t on the shift anymore, but I liked Houchins. He was pretty funny.
The Daily Dose/Saturday, August 15, 2020
The Daily Dose
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
Friends, your Daily Dose will return tomorrow. All the usual daily crap is running, though.
The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow hits the road for his day at the Veterans Service Office (VSO). Today’s Diary.
Like we did last time, we stopped at the deli counter at the supermarket in the next county so Mr D could get a couple of pieces of his treasured fried chicken…I did, tho, draw the line at eating in town because Mr D is the slowest eater in human history and I didn’t want to sit and wait…So I lied, a baldfaced one, something I rarely do, but OpSec (Operational Security) demanded it…I didn’t want to spend, literally, 45 minutes as Mr D ate two pieces of fried chicken…I told him I had some paperwork to catch up on at the VSO after I dropped him off and asked if he couldn’t eat in the car, a good call because again it took him 40 minutes to eat two pieces of fried chicken, Mr D not finishing until we were on the outskirts on town…
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo: Rich and Gaylon have a funny incident in the coffee shop.
“Uh oh,” one cowgirl said. “They called security.”
“Not only that,” I said. “There’s two of us.”
“You’re all in big trouble,” Rich announced.
“Do we have to put our shoes back on?”
I nodded solemnly.
“You gotta finish your vegetables, too,” Rich said.
Click here for the first two months of complimentary entries.
Criminals, Courtesans and Constables/Chapter 18 – Monica II: Monica returns.
I couldn’t believe where I was. In the witness room of the death chamber in the States.
It was utterly surreal, as surreal as my first time being escorted into a palace bedroom to be seduced by a prince. As surreal as my first time walking the red carpet at the Awards. All of these were fairy tales, though, places you never thought you’d be and when you’re there it’s as if you’re in a song.
Click here to read the first four chapters with our compliments.
You’re probably thinking reading all three of these features will cost you an arm and a leg. Wrong-0. $4.99 gets you access to all three of these American classics.