Backstairs at the Monte Carlo/October 31
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo/November 3
The Daily Dose/Thursday, July 2, 2020
Daily Dose/July 2, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience.
WHAT THE HELL’S GOING ON HERE?: Happy Independence Day from all of us here at your Daily Dose.
Really, Come On, What’s The Deal?: Regular reader(s) of this crap know we love doing this, pretty much every year, if possible, because most Americans go to bed at night on July 3rd wallowing in the ignorance that tells them that on the 4th their nation will celebrate the anniversary of its independence from Great Britain.
And You Wonder Why You Don’t Get Invited To More Parties: Those in the know, however – like those who read this column – are tediously aware that America’s actual independence day is today, July 2 because this is the day the Continental Congress adopted the Lee Resolution which declared – and this is a quote from the Congressional journal of the day – that:
Resolved, That these United Colonies are, and, of right, ought to be, Free and Independent States; that they are absolved from all allegiance to the British crown, and that all political connexion between them, and the state of Great Britain, is, and ought to be, totally dissolved
Here Comes The Dry, Technical Matter: It came immediately following the referring of some routine correspondence to the Board of War and Ordnance and immediately before it “resolved itself into a committee of the whole” to take up the matter of the Declaration of Independence, which it would not approve until two days later!
More Dry, Technical Matter!: There were those in that Second Continental Congress, like future President John Adams, who presumed July 2nd would end up America’s national holiday because, silly them, this was the day America actually declared its independence.
Wrong-o: That wasn’t the case though, of course, as the 4th of July, the day the Congress approved the infernal Mr Jefferson’s Declaration of Independence, has turned out to be America’s national holiday.
The Bottom Line: Fine. Be that way. We’re lighting a sparkler tonight, anyway. Happy 2nd to all of you.
Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually.
The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow talks about knife placement on his belt. Today’s Diary.
Some of you may be wondering exactly where on my belt I am keeping the knife…
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo: Gaylon spends a lot of time with a sniveling guest.
What he wanted to chat about wasn’t specified, but I got the impression he wanted to talk to me specifically.
I was right. Though others had attended to him, I had been his responding officer, a bond apparently too tight to break.
Friends, the $2.99 4Ever & Ever special for The Diary of a Nobody and Backstairs at the Monte Carlo won’t last forever, so click on the button to take advantage of it right now.
On This Date
History’s long march to today
In 1962 – The first Walmart opens in Rogers, Arkansas. Founder Sam Walton had 24 Walmarts (then known as Wal-Mart) opened in Arkansas within five years and in 1968 opened stores in Missouri and Oklahoma. Today Walmart has over 11,400 stores in 27 countries and is the world’s largest company by revenue and the planet’s largest private employer. Walmart has been listed on the New York Stock Exchange since 1972 and has been listed on the Dow Jones Industrial Average index since 1997.
In 2002 – The 16 major league games played today establish a new major league record for most home runs hit in both leagues in one day, with 62 home runs being hit by 53 players. The mark breaks the old single-day record of 57 established in 2000. The Chicago White Sox and Detroit Tigers combined to tie the record for most home runs in a game by both teams with 12, a record they had first established in 1995. The 62 home runs remains a record, and the single-game mark is now 13, done by the Arizona Diamondbacks and Philadelphia Phillies last year.
In 1977 – Bill Conti is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the only week with Gonna Fly Now, also known as The Theme From Rocky. The song was nominated for an Oscar for Best Original Song and remains Conti’s only Top 40 hit. The song peaked at #52 in Great Britain in 2007 and a version by Maynard Ferguson also hit The Hot 100 in 1977, peaking at #28. Only the Theme From Dynasty, which peaked at #54 in 1982, kept Conti from being an ultimate one-hit-wonder.
Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.
The problem was you had to keep choosing between one evil and another, and no matter how you chose, they sliced a little bit more off you, until there was nothing left. At the age of 25 most people were finished. A whole god-damned nation of assholes driving automobiles, eating, having babies, doing everything in the worst way possible, like voting for the presidential candidate who reminded them most of themselves. – Charles Bukowski, Ham On Rye
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know.
Hank Williams, Jr, has yet to have a song hit Billboard’s Hot 100.
Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar.
What company has been a component of the Dow Jones Industrial Average the longest? – Answer next time!
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo/October 30
The Daily Dose/Wednesday, July 1, 2020
Daily Dose/July 1, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience.
GAYLON FOR US SENATE…VOTE EARLY, VOTE OFTEN…OR NOT: Not for the first time, we lost a primary election, dropping a race for the Colorado Libertarian Party’s US Senate nomination. As we write this, the final tally isn’t in, but it’s been about 60%-40% since the first results started trickling in about 7pm local time Tuesday night.
You Won’t Have G Kent To Kick Around Anymore…At Least For A Little While: Libertarian primaries are rare enough because there usually aren’t that many people interested in running, but this isn’t even the first one we’ve lost. Longtime fans know we lost a primary in 2012 for a US House nomination and these losses came after getting more votes than our opponent at the state convention.
Dry, Technical Matter: This is because goddamn Colorado state law dictates that everyone who gets at least 30% of a state convention vote gets their passes to the primary stamped.
The Bottom Line: Our country is still a complete fiasco and is still calling all concerned and conscientious citizens to make some changes this November. We must do something about a country splitting at her racial seams, that has been at war every day for over 30 years and who is $23 trillion in debt.
Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually.
The Diary of a Nobody: A guest asks Sparrow to distract a bear for him. Today’s Diary.
Well, word has obviously reached this gentleman that night auditors worldwide have leveled up the services they are offering their guests to include Predator Mitigation…
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo: Gaylon sets a Foot on the Desk Percentage PB.
As with all the great ones, a lot goes into setting a PB and it was no different last night.
First, we were really, really slow. I had five calls all night, all of them routine and none particularly time-consuming.
Second, I didn’t go to the EDR for my first 10-10…
Friends, our special $2.99 price to read both The Diary of a Nobody and Backstairs at the Monte Carlo is still on, but it won’t last forever. Click on the button to save $3 off the regular price.
On This Date
History’s long march to today.
In 1867 – The nation of Canada comes into existence when British provinces Canada (present-day Quebec and Ontario) New Brunswick and Nova Scotia are joined following the passage of the Constitution Act, 1867. Sir John McDonald is sworn in as the country’s first prime minister and July 1 remains Canada’s national holiday. Today Canada has ten provinces and three territories, extends from the Atlantic to the Pacific oceans and from the American border to the Arctic Ocean and is the second-largest country in the world by size.
In 1859 – Amherst College defeats Williams College 73-32 in the first-ever college baseball game. The game was played under what was known as Massachusetts rules, which called for, among other things, 13 players on a side, bases 60 feet apart, one out per inning and the batter – known as the striker – standing midway between home plate and first base. The two teams still play regularly and are both members of the New England Small College Athletic Conference in NCAA Division III. Research into the all-time series results was inconclusive.
In 1972 – Hank Williams, Jr. is at #1 on Billboard’s country chart – then known as the Hot Country Singles chart – for the first of two consecutive weeks with Eleven Roses. It was 15th of 65 Top 40 country hits, his seventh of 40 Top hits and his first of eight #1 songs. The song also went to #1 on Canada’s country chart and was written by Lamar Morris and Darrell McCall. His son, Hank Williams III, also known as Hank 3, is the frontman for the punk-metal band Assjack. His only chart appearance came as a solo act, when I Don’t Know peaked at #50 on the country chart in 2001.
Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.
Success demands singleness of purpose. …once you have agreed on the price you and your family must pay for success, it enables you to forget that price. – Vince Lombardi
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know.
Thomas Edison was awarded 1,093 US patents in his career.
Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar.
How many hits on Billboard’s Hot 100 has Hank Williams, Jr. had? – Answer next time!
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo/October 26 & 27
The Daily Dose/Tuesday, June 30, 2020
Daily Dose/June 30, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience.
2…4…6…8…WHO DO WE APPRECIATE: The more we think about it – and we’ve thought about this more than we probably should have – the more we believe American sports should shut it down until we get a handle on the coronavirus. And based on the initially delayed and continued incompetent response by our government, that could be a while.
Dry, Technical Matter: COVID-19 cases are surging everywhere, and sports players and team employees have not been exempt. If they do persist on playing, more than one competitor (not to mention referees and umpires) will get sick and don’t bet the mortgage against one or more dying.
Oh Yeah: The competition will be less than what we’re used to because some players are deciding not to play and, besides, they’ve had long layoffs. Plus everyone will miss the energy provided by having fans in the stands.
And what would be getting anyway? Games played, sometimes under different rules, in empty stadiums and arenas. These will be foisted off on us as official league and playoff games but let’s be honest, they’re being staged not out of any competitive necessity, but to make owners, players and TV networks some money.
Hut, Hut, Hike: Now, like you, we realize the utter catastrophe that would attend there not being a football season, especially in the South, where not having SEC football will cause the biggest panic since emancipation.
The Hard Question: And how will we all get along without The Bottom Ten? The Bottom Ten pollsters don’t have any idea either.
The Bottom Line: The coronavirus is still wreaking its havoc and barring a miracle on par with planetary alignment, it will for a while. It is selfish of leagues and conferences to forge ahead with plans to resume playing their games. There is simply too much risk right now. In our opinion, they should stay away until fans can be allowed to pay their way in, even it is wearing masks in reduced numbers.
Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually.
The Diary of a Nobody: At the hotel, Sparrow gets the scratch paper assembly line moving again. Today’s Diary.
It was a great morning for scratch paper, with over 20 new sheets made…There was the half of the departure report that didn’t have guest info on it, plus several sheets of arrival’s registration cards that an extra blank sheet, plus a couple of other wayward sheets I commandeered…The stack, of course, is still being built up, but it’s getting there and it’s foolish to think this might factor in when they resume handing out the Employee of the Month Award.
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo: The rapper 50 Cent and his posse visit the Monte Carlo.
Hell, we’re all going to die. D-Dawg, Twerp and I are going down in a blaze of gunfire while drawing our flashlights.
Click on the button to enjoy these two (2) American classics forever for only $2.99. Act now because this offer ends soon.
On This Date
History’s long march to today.
In 1937 – The world’s first emergency telephone number – 999 – is activated in the London area, with the first arrest thanks to a 999 call came a week later, for burglary. The dedicated emergency line came about after a citizen was put on hold while trying to call in a fire that ended up killing five women. The first 999 number in North America was in Winnipeg in 1959, though North America now uses 911 for its emergency number. The first US emergency call was made in 1968.
In 1984 – The Los Angeles Express and the Michigan Panthers establish a new professional football record for the longest game in a 27-21 Express win in the first round of the USFL playoffs at the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum. The game was tied 21-21 at the end of regulation and didn’t end until Mel Gray’s 24-yard touchdown run with 3:33 gone in the third overtime, 93 minutes and 33 seconds of playing time. The game broke the mark of 82 minutes, 40 seconds established by the Kansas City Chiefs and Miami Dolphins in the 1971 NFL Playoffs, a game won by Miami 27-27.
In 1984 – The Reflex by Duran Duran is at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the second and final week. The song spent 15 weeks in the Top 40 and eight weeks in the Top 10 and was the fourth of ten Top 10 hits for the group and their first of two #1 songs (A View to a Kill, two weeks, 1985). The song also went to #1 in The Netherlands, Belgium, Ireland and their native Great Britain.
Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.
I never worked a day in my life. Every day was fun. – Thomas Edison
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know.
The longest game in major league history without an error by either team is 22 innings, when the Washington Senators defeated the Chicago White Sox 6-5 on June 12, 1967.
Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar.
How many US patents did Thomas Edison earn? – Answer next time!