The Daily Dose/August 5, 2018
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Friends, as always, thank you for stopping by and, please, consider subscribing to enjoy our premium crap, like The Diary of a Nobody and The Sunday Bottom Ten.

Here’s what’s on tap today:

Leading Off
One of the things we’ve often said about President Trump, and candidate Trump, for that matter, is that his only real talent is drawing attention to himself. Which is something he does supremely well.

The latest example of this is his Twitter attack on basketball great LeBron James. Trump issued his diatribe right before making an appearance in James’ home state of Ohio. Now, this was brilliant from a publicity standpoint, but attacking LeBron James in Ohio is akin to attacking God before climbing Mt Sinai. Of course, everyone came to James’ defense, which just eggs people like Trump on. If we had the capacity to ignore him, he would have gone away before the 2016 GOP primaries.

Today At The Site
Sparrow gets peeved at a dumb customer at the retailer he isn’t even serving on today’s edition of The Diary of a Nobody. Sparrow For Congress goes live, too, talking about how he doesn’t steal votes from others, they steal them from him. Also, the weekly total from the Sleep Log is in.

Lots of funny stuff for you on The Sunday Bottom Ten today, which is back after taking last week off. The usual suspects are featured, as are straw laws in California, a mission to the sun and US oil production.

The Thought for the Day will return.

On This Date
In 1981 – President Ronald Reagan fires all 11,359 striking air traffic controllers for ignoring his order to return to work. Initially, the government was able to muster sufficient personnel for about half all scheduled flights to go, and it would take ten years before staffing levels returned to normal.

In 1901 – The first long jump world record is established by Ireland’s Peter O’Connor, who jumps 24 ft 11.5 in at a meet in Dublin. The record would be recognized by the IAAF in 1912 and would stand for 20 years. The long jump record has a history of standing for a long time.  Mike Powell set the current record of 29 ft 4.25 inches in 1991, and Powell broke Bob Beamon’s record set in 1968 and Jesse Owns held the record from 1935-60. Beamon’s mark of 29 ft 2.25 inches remains the Olympic record.

In 1971 – Alone Again (Naturally) by Gilbert O’Sullivan is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the second of six non-consecutive weeks. It was O’sullivan’s first Top 40 hit in the US and his only #1. He would also have two #1 songs in Great Britain and three in his native Ireland.

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Waiting For a Girl Like You by Foreigner and Work It by Missy Elliot are the two songs that have spent ten weeks at #2 on the Billboard Hot 100 without hitting #1.

Today’s Stumper
What athlete has broken the men’s long jump world record the most times? – Answer next time!

Shameless Plugs
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo: A Vegas Memoir!: Clock in with the graveyard crew at the Monte Carlo Security Department on the glamorous Las Vegas Strip. You’ll meet drunks, reprobates and scoundrels, and those are just the officers! The funniest Vegas memoir ever! Promise!

The Regular Guys: Meet Lenny and Larry, two comedians who team up more or less out of desperation and become the biggest in show business. As funny as you would expect from Gaylon, and poignant, too.

Click here to read previews of both!
Click here to subscribe and get your all-access pass.  

Share Gaylon! Go!

The Daily Dose/August 4, 2018
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Friends, as always, thank you for stopping by and, please, consider subscribing to enjoy our premium crap.

Here’s what’s on tap today:

News Notes And Comment
Ha!

The cesspool that is the NCAA got even more cesspoolier this week – as if that’s possible – with Ohio State head football coach Urban Myer being given a paid vacation while the school investigates whether he knew about allegations one of his assistant coaches beat his wife. At first, Myer said no, he didn’t, but he was just kidding, and later announced he really did.

We’ve said this before: the NCAA should just go away. Yeah, you put on a decent national championship tournament in a variety of sports, except major division football, of course, but your programs are breeding grounds and hiding places for cheaters, child molesters and wife beaters.

Today At The Site
Sparrow For Congress has a busy day online, posting stuff to a variety of sites on today’s edition of The Diary of a Nobody. Also, Sparrow annoys a customer at the retailer and he gives Susan another ride home as the $20 she paid him to do so starts to run out, and a guest unclogs his own toilet at the hotel.

This will surprise you, but Gore Vidal as The Thought for the Day, although this time it is not from Creation, but his fine novel Washington, DC. Today’s quote is about ambition, with some commentary from yours truly about whether or not ambition serves us humans well.

On This Date
In 1327 – England’s King Edward III, king for only seven months, is almost captured by the Scots in the Battle of Stanhope Park in northern England during the First War of Scottish Independence. Though the battle resulted in a Scottish victory, the Scots broke camp and headed home a couple of days later. Edward III, however, was so intent on Scottish independence he obliged the Scots to fight another war of independence in 1332.

In 1987 – Don Sutton (317 wins) of the California Angels and Steve Carlton (328 wins) of the Minnesota Twins are the starting pitchers in what turns out to be a 12-3 Angels win. Their combined total of 645 wins is the highest combined total of wins for pitchers starting the same major league game.

In 1958 – The Billboard Hot 100 debuts, with Poor Little Fool by Ricky Nelson at #1 for the first of two weeks. To date the Hot 100 has had 1,077 #1 songs, with the longest stay at #1 being 16 weeks, by Mariah Carey and Boyz II Men with One Sweet Day (1995) and Luis Fonsi and Daddy Yankee with Justin Bieber with Despacito (2017). The Twist by Chubby Checker remains the only song to go to #1 in two separate chart runs (1960, 1962).

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
The USS Blueback was the last diesel submarine warship in the United States Navy, decommissioned in 1990.

Today’s Stumper
Two songs have spent ten weeks at #2 on the Billboard Hot 100 without hitting #1. Name them. – Answer next time!

Shameless Plugs
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo: A Vegas Memoir!: Clock in with the graveyard crew at the Monte Carlo Security Department on the glamorous Las Vegas Strip. You’ll meet drunks, reprobates and scoundrels, and those are just the officers! The funniest Vegas memoir ever! Promise!

The Regular Guys: Meet Lenny and Larry, two comedians who team up more or less out of desperation and become the biggest in show business. As funny as you would expect from Gaylon, and poignant, too.

Click here to read previews of both!
Click here to subscribe and get your all-access pass.  

Share Gaylon! Go!

The Daily Dose/August 3, 2018
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Friends, as always, thank you for stopping by and, please, consider subscribing to enjoy our premium crap.

Here’s what’s on the menu for today:

News Notes And Comment
The trade bickering between the US and China continues, with China announcing the targeting of $60 billion (B) in US goods for new tariffs. This dispute was started by the US  in an effort to shrink the significant trade surplus China currently enjoys over the United States.

Of course, even the most cursory reading shows China has much to answer for on the trade front. Fortunately, detailing all them is beyond the scope of this feature, but playing tit-for-tat, tariff-for-tariff is not in the best long-term interests of anyone. Every US company facing a tariff for either raw materials or finished products will merely pass these costs on to you and me, the consumer.

Today At The Site
Sparrow discusses the prospects for entries from the gardens in the upcoming county fair on today’s edition of The Diary of a Nobody. The prospects aren’t too good, frankly, though the onions might earn an entry. Also, Sparrow mows the lawn.

John Wooden, one of the most successful and revered coaches in American sports history, as The Thought for the Day, with a quote about preparation and patience.

On This Date
In 1958 – The USS Nautilus, the worlds first nuclear-powered submarine, becomes the first vessel to transit the North Pole submerged. The voyage was as perilous as it was historic: among other things, it was difficult finding sufficient room to sail beneath ice caps and a special gyro compass had to be developed for use above 85 degrees north latitude.

In 1852 – America’s first intercollegiate athletic competition takes place when Harvard defeats Yale by two boat lengths in what is now known as the Harvard-Yale Regatta. The race is still run and Harvard leads the series 95-57. Yale, though, has won three straight regattas, though there was not an official result in 2016 when Harvard’s boat sank in rough waters.

In 1974 – Annie’s Song by John Denver is at #1 for its second and final week on the Billboard Hot 100. It was the second of four #1’s for Denver and the song also went to #1 in Britain and hit #9 on Billboard’s country chart, where Denver also had three #1 hits.

Answer To The Last Trivia Question: The last survivor of the Treblinka revolt was Samuel Willenburg, who died in 2016.

Today’s Stumper: When was the last diesel-powered submarine in the United States Navy decommissioned? – Answer next time!

Shameless Plugs
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo: A Vegas Memoir!: Clock in with the graveyard crew at the Monte Carlo Security Department on the glamorous Las Vegas Strip. You’ll meet drunks, reprobates and scoundrels, and those are just the officers! The funniest Vegas memoir ever! Promise!

The Regular Guys: Meet Lenny and Larry, two comedians who team up more or less out of desperation and become the biggest in show business. As funny as you would expect from Gaylon, and poignant, too.

Click here to read previews of both!
Click here to subscribe and get your all-access pass.  

Share Gaylon! Go!

The Daily Dose/August 2, 2018
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

News Notes And Comment
This feature will return. 

Today At The Site
After 36 years of residence, Neighbor Jerry has the For Sale sign up on his house and there are new hours at the local diner on today’s edition of The Diary of a Nobody. Sparrow also had a couple of Line of the Year candidates at the retailer. 

Paul Harvey has The Thought for the Day, a quote about how things seldom change in our human experience. It’s not the first time this quote has appeared in this feature, though the commentary is fresh.

On This Date
In 1943 – About 700 Jews, using stolen rifles, hand grenades and pistols, riot at the Treblinka extermination camp. German guards repulsed the attack within a half-hour, killing most of the Jews. About 70 are known to have escaped and survived until the end of the war.

In 1987 – Kevin Seitzer of the Kansas City Royals goes 6-for-6 in a 13-5 victory over the Boston Red Sox. Though six hits in a game is a rather common occurrence, Seitzer remains tied for the American League record for hits in a nine-inning game and the mark remains the major league record for hits in a game by a rookie.

In 1980 – Olivia Newton-John is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 with Magic. It would spend four weeks at #1 and was Olivia’s biggest until Physical spent ten weeks at the top the following year. Magic also went to #1 in Canada, though it only #32 in Britain and #4 in her native Australia.

Answer To The Last Trivia Question: Simon and Garfunkel’s 1971 Bridge Over Troubled Water is the only other time an act as topped both the American and British simultaneously with the same album and single.

Today’s Stumper: Who was the last survivor of the Treblinka revolt? – Answer next time!

Many thanks for reading. Please consider subscribing for our premium crap and have a good day.

Shameless Plugs
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo: A Vegas Memoir!: Clock in with the graveyard crew at the Monte Carlo Security Department on the glamorous Las Vegas Strip. You’ll meet drunks, reprobates and scoundrels, and those are just the officers! The funniest Vegas memoir ever! Promise!

The Regular Guys: Meet Lenny and Larry, two comedians who team up more or less out of desperation and become the biggest in show business. As funny as you would expect from Gaylon, and poignant, too.

Click here to read previews of both!
Click here to subscribe and get your all-access pass.  

Share Gaylon! Go!