The Bottom Ten/NFL Week 12
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy
It is one of the most exciting times of the Bottom Ten year: when the #1 team has a bye and other candidates for The Dan Henning Trophy – symbolic of NFL Bottom Ten greatness – get to display their title credentials.
Hello Washington! And Loss Vegas! And Cleveland! And the New York Giants! And most of the AFC North. And…well, you get the idea.
This week’s catastrophe, as the nags approach the far turn:
Editor’s Note: the Titans, Bengals, and Cowboys – all ranked last week – had a bye, resting up for what promises to be the tightest Bottom Ten stretch run in a generation.
1. Washington Commanders (3-7; lost to Detroit 44-22) – It’s rare when a 3-win can top the B-10 in mid-November, but no team – except the Titans, of course – is playing worse football right now, as Commanders have lost league-best five (5) straight..Next Loss: Miami
2. Loss Vegas Raiders (2-7; lost to Denver 10-7) – Raiders not only bad, but boring in latest loss and with Cowboys and Browns coming up, face perilous road to B-10 glory…After opening win, Raiders have lost seven (7) of eight (8)…Next Loss: Dallas
3. New York Giants (2-8; lost to Chicago 24-20) – Giants take calculated risk in quest for B-10 riches, firing head coach on four (4)-game losing streak…With Jets on two (2)-game win skid, Giants now favorites for Ed Koch Kup – symbolic of Gotham football wizardry… Subsequent Loss: Green Bay
4. Atlanta Falcons (3-6; lost to Indianapolis) – German fans suing for war repatriations as horrors watching Falcons game in person brings back memories of Holocaust horrors…Falcons another team peaking at right time after fourth straight loss…Next Loss: Carolina
5. Cleveland Browns (2-7; lost to NY Jets 27-20) – Browns play spoiler, ruining Jets strong B-10 title chances with fifth loss in last six (6) games…Browns, as usual, need loss this week and simply cannot get caught looking ahead to next B-10 showdown at Raiders on 11/23 or vs Titans on 12/7…Next Loss: Baltimore
6. Brian Daboll – B-10 pollsters “pretty sure” former Giants head coach will find home with some team looking to return to B-10 glory – like, I don’t know, Jacksonville – with 11-33 record with Giants after first season when Giants (somehow) made playoffs.
7. AFC North (14-22) – Like NFC East, only has one (1) team above .500, but gets nod for coveted, weekly Pete Rozelle Award – issued to NFL’s worst division, based on 1st-place team only being one (1) game above .500…Would have two (2) teams in survey this week had Bengals not had week off.
8. New Orleans Saints (2-8; defeated Carolina 17-7) – Saints B-10 medal stand hopes take it in shorts, as defense somehow secures two (2) second half turnoversn as Saints end second four (4)-game losing streak of season with crushing win…Next Loss: Atlanta (11/23)
9. Arizona Cardinals (3-6; lost to Seattle 44-22 ) – Cardinals back in B-10 pollsters good graces following Seahawk smackdown…Cardinals face easiest remaining schedule, with only winnable game coming in late December at Bengals…Next Loss: San Francisco
10. Loss Vegas at Denver – Midseason B-10 Game of the Year nominee, as teams combine for 158 rushing yards, 151 penalty yards, and 15 punts, with three (3) interceptions, two missed field goals adding to prime time thrills
This Week’s Showcase: Miami at Washington
This Is Don Criqui Reporting: Dallas at Loss Vegas
