Notes from around the Human Experience…
NO TRUMP TODAY: Honestly, we weren’t even looking for a column idea because President Trump has darn near produced a backlog of column fodder, but the headline caught our eye:
NCAA Head In Tokyo To Offer Advice On College Sports Body
This is rich. The head of the largest intercollegiate sport governing body – NCAA president Mark Emmert – went to Japan to offer advice on regulating college sports.
What advice is he going to offer, how best to be both pimp and john simultaneously? On how to prostitute teenage boys and girls while at the same time prostituting yourself to TV networks? Maybe Tokyo State can take notes on how to keep a child molester on staff and still, after the smoke clears, continue to reap the financial windfall that is major college sports.
ROTFLMAO: Emmert should get an agent and start booking dates at comedy clubs, telling reporters, evidently with a straight face:
We’d like to be a part of this because we value sports as a part of education.
His Lips Are Moving…He’s Lying: My ass you do, Mr Emmert. You are there solely on spec, on the prospect that maybe you can send some teams to play some games there and make even more money for your conferences and teams on the backs of your treasured student-athletes.
Maybe at the Division III level sports are part of the educational process. Athletes pay their own way there or, if they don’t, they fight for the same grants and scholarships that future engineers and band members fight for.
However to say major division intercollegiate sports are anything more than a way scrape every last possible dollar off the backs of your athletes is folly. The NCAA is a billion dollar business and the top two dozen athletic departments generate over $100 million. The athletes see none of that.
Dry, Technical Matter: Some are surprised to find out that America is one of the few countries that have organized intercollegiate sports. Canada does. So do the Philippines and Indonesia and Great Britain. That’s really it.
“Jolly Good. A Flare Out To Trevor In The Right Flat, Then…On Three.”: Britain, under the auspices of British University and College Sports (BUCS), plays American football, too. It’s reported that every year there are issues with field markings on American football “pitches”, problems such as incomplete goal and end lines or, if they do have them, lines that are faint or crooked.
We’ll Be In Town All Week…Please Tip Your Waitresses: The problems, however, do not appear to be as egregious as those in Canada, where groundskeepers consistently keep putting two 50-yard lines on their fields.
The Bottom Line: If Japanese colleges are desirous of learning how to maximize revenues while fully exploiting their kids then they should have their notebooks out because with Emmert there class is in session. They are learning from the very best.
ON THIS DATE! ON THIS DATE!: St. Marinus, whom History records as fleeing a woman who accused him of being her husband, builds a chapel at Mount Titano on this date in 301, regarded as the founding of the Republic of San Marino, an enclave in northeast Italy. With an area of 24 square miles and a population of 34,000 or so, San Marino is the fifth smallest country in terms of both population and size.
Scoreboard, Baby: The Mongols lose the Battle of Ain Jalut to the Mamluks on this date in 1260. Fought in what is now northern Israel, the battle was the first time the Mongols had an advance halted in combat. It would also mark the farthest expansion for the Mongols, who saw their empire split four ways by the end of the century, though assorted Khanates of the Mongol empire would last until the 1800’s.
USA! USA! The American Revolution officially ends with the signing of the Treaty of Paris on this date in 1783.
Despite the fact the treaty specified the boundaries of the new country, America’s borders would remain a fiasco for years, and the British violated the terms that stated they would vacate their forts almost before the ink was dry on the treaty. In fact, the only provision of the treaty that remains in force is the first one, which acknowledges America’s sovereignty.
“It Was A Time Of Joyous Excitement Which Words Can But Tamely Describe.”: Frederick Douglass escapes from slavery on this date in 1838. Dressed as a sailor and using a borrowed certificate showing he was a free black seaman, Douglass went from Baltimore to Philadelphia to New York in less than 24 hours and except for the time his certificate was inspected by a train conductor, the trip was very routine.
Yeah, This Is Interesting: Joaquin Benoit of the Texas Rangers records the longest save in major league history on this date in 2002, pitching the final seven innings of a 7-1 victory over the Baltimore Orioles. Benoit relieved Todd Van Poppel, who had pitched two innings after starter Aaron Myette was ejected in the first inning.
Quotebook: As I writhed under it, I would at times feel that learning to read had been a curse rather than a blessing. It had given me a view of my wretched condition, without the remedy. It opened my eye to the horrible pit, but no ladder upon which to get out. In moments of agony, I envied my fellow-slaves for their stupidity. – Frederick Douglass, Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass, An American Slave
Answer To The Last Trivia Question: Through 2016, 2,429,979 boys have achieved the rank of Eagle Scout.
Today’s Stumper: Who negotiated the Treaty of Paris for the Americans? – Answer next time!