The Diary of a Nobody/September 9

Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Monday, September 9
Dead slow at the hotel…We only had 40 or so rooms rented (I’m only the night auditor, I can’t be expected to know these figures off the top of my head) and nobody bothered me and I would have set a personal best for getting the audit done, because I had folios delivered right at midnite, a first, but 242 had the nerve to leave their room service tray outside their door, obliging ol’ Sparrow to take it back to the restaurant…So I wasn’t done until 0007. 

It was slow at the Veteran Service Office, too…There were no phone messages waiting for me and the only email was from my boss – Kelly, the human services department head – who forwarded an email from Lori in payroll, who was shitting bricks over the hours I submitted for when I was in the big city for training a couple of weeks ago…This is a 20-hour a week position and the week before training I only worked eight hours because training was a full week and Lori was wondering what the deal was…I emailed her and got her updated. 

I did go across the street to the Human Services office to use their fax because I couldn’t get the one in the Building Department, next door to my office, do comply with my request to send a 21-page fax to the claims intake center in Wisconsin…I had a hard time getting this one to comply as well, mainly because yours truly wasn’t following the posted directions…First I put the paperwork in the feeder then punched in the number when I should have done it the other way around. 

In news from the small town, the new convenience store is coming along…Recall they tore the old bank, the real estate office and a private residence off the alley down to make room for it, and it’s going next door to the old one…The buildings have been torn down for a while, actually, hole have been dug for the gas tanks and the front wall to the store has gone up. 

There’s a new listing in the neighborhood, too…A rathole on Main Street, three houses down from The Shire as you head to town…It was originally listed at 190 and is drawing so much interest after two weeks on the market the price has already been slashed to 180…It was built in 1900, the ‘lawn’ is scraggly, weed infested and brown, giving it has the curb appeal of a gulag, and the inside looks like it was decorated in Early Poverty…I don’t see this selling for more than a couple of hundred bucks, frankly…If they do get anything more than 150 for it, that means The Shire would easily be worth 200, more than double what we paid for it in 2014. 

The big news is I am back to using Brylcreem…I am not making that up…For a while now I hadn’t been pleased with Vitalis  where what little hair I have up top tended to poof up when I combed it back…I found a great Brylcreem dosage, too…You wet both hands, shake the excess water off a couple of times, but a double dab (DD) of Brylcreem and then run your hands thru your hair…Style accordingly, which for ol’ Sparrow is simply combing it back…I’ve been doing it since I got back from training and there is no hair poof!!!…It’s gone, eradicated like a fruit fly. 

Sparrow’s Sleep Log: 1600 Monday until 2130 Monday…5.5 hours for the day and 12 hours for the week, a depressing total I know has all of you rending garments…It was a good, sound sleep, tho, and it took Mr Alarm Clock six full minutes to wake me up, which is a long time. 

The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence. 

It was inspired by the 19th century British novel of the same name. 

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