The Diary of a Nobody/June 24

Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Wednesday, June 24
I suppose I should lighten up about the bell being rung before I favor anyone with my presence at the front desk, but tonight it didn’t happen…It is, however, pleasing to report that after his initial grunt generated nothing, the guest rang the bell fairly hard, too…Some would get snitty at this, but not ol’ Sparrow: it was good to see the bell rung with authority, frankly…Enuff of the milquetoasts groaning in futile attempts to get my attention. 

The sad news at the hotel is that Maintenance Chief Luke’s dog Z might be on her last legs…She was looking really, well, slow is the best word that comes up, Tuesday morning and Luke said he was taking her to the vet and this morning he rattled off a list of ailments Z is suffering from…He even added the vet said it was a good thing Z was brought in when she was because had been later that day she might not have made it…I forget exactly what the ailments were, but Luke is taking it pretty hard, as you might imagine.

My creamer field test is in progress…Recall we have a new brand of French vanilla creamer for Morning Coffee Service and the old brand, Brand A, remains on the bottom while, instead of rotating stock, I put the new creamer, Brand B, on top…So far, two thingies of Brand A have worked there way up from the bottom and were used and replaced by two thingies of Brand B…Results, of course, are still inconclusive and will have to be peer-reviewed by the Nite Auditor’s Alliance – and who knows what will happen on my nights off – but right now it’s very exciting. 

The knife is proving useful almost every nite, a wonderful addition to the Hotel Everyday Carry Ensemble (HEDCE)…This morning I needed both a sack of oranges and a sack of muffins opened, plus some boxes broken down and BOOM it was a trusty co-worker every time. 

38.852 mpg!!!

Yeah, bay-bee, hat’s what ol’ Sparrow is talking about…Now, this is not pushing 40 mpg like we were for the three weeks prior to my mpg-killing trip to the big city earlier this month, but it is still a whole lot better than the pukey 35.003 we got at our last fill-up.

I knew we’d do better, too…There was no doubt…The Average MPG on the new ride’s information display was safely above 40 mpg the whole way and the odometer was at 439 miles since the last fill-up…And there is still hope for, one day, reaching the 40 mpg mark. 

Pulling into the parking lot at the Veterans Service Office (VSO) I saw not one but gents wearing blazers for whatever business they had at the county building today…Blazers are rare here, generally reserved for attorneys actually in court and that guy who runs the local branch of the national bank. (Heads of the local banks are dressing up if they’re wearing khakis instead of jeans.)…I have no idea what business they could have that warrants a blazer…The courthouse is in the new building on the way out of town and at least one guy was local because he rode a bike in, I am not making that up…Later, I saw one in the hallway but I couldn’t be bothered to ask why he was wearing a coat and tie. 

I had a message from Dee at the state office asking if I could send February’s report in…February!!!…Good gravy, they’re four months behind at the state office???…Government offices being what they are, who knows if this is good because it means they’re not years behind or schedule or bad that they’re behind schedule at all.

Dee was great, too, at making it sound like it was all my fault…Nonsense, because ol’ Sparrow takes care of his paperwork…I filled it out and turned in and these reports are returned to me signed with the accounting paperwork they add so the county can get reimbursed for my salary…It had to be somewhere in the pile on my desk I am passing off as a filing system because a point is made not to throw them away and BOOM there it was between December’s report and an old shopping list…Right where I put it, so I scanned it in and emailed it to Dee. 

About 0930 Mr Mills called asking if he was eligible for VA health benefits…I asked him a couple of questions and said sure, he probably was and explained how it works for guys like us who do not have a service-connected disability…I added the VSO was closed to the public right now and then asked if he knew his way around a computer enuff to fill out an online form and he said yes but then I thought better of it…Rather than sentence him to the wonders of filling out the 10-10EZ form online, I told him if he had 15 minutes I’d be happy to fill out for him over the phone…Later, Mr Mills came by and signed the form and I’ll tell you what, I hope I look that good when I’m 80…Good gravy, I would’ve doubted a claim of being 65 or less, but 68 or so, sure. 

At noon I was done for the day…I’d had enuff…I stayed in the office, of course, because I’m paid to be in the office, but my VSO work was up-to-date and there certainly weren’t any appointments and I was sick of project work, so I spent the afternoon at leisure. 

Sparrow’s Sleep Log: As usual, there isn’t any sleep to report for Wednesday. 

The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence. 

It was inspired by the 19th-century British novel of the same name. 

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