The Diary of a Nobody/January 21

Of course, it’s Read Free Sunday at The Diary.

It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Saturday, January 21
The big news is ol’ Sparrow got a raise at the hotel…A nice one, too, more than 25% and a bit more than we were going get around to asking for…We discovered it when, after signing up for the new company’s online payroll system, we reviewed our first paycheck with them…We were grateful, more because it absolves us from having to ask for one – something we’re not very good at – than for the money itself tho we’re grateful for that, too, because as our weekly excursions to the retailer have shown, things are getting more expensive.

In other financial news, there was an email today from Front Desk Manager Brandon detailing a new incentive program called the Sold Out Bonus (SOB) program…The deal is when we sell out all of split a bonus equal to the average daily rate (ADR; room revenue/rooms rented) for the nite…I think there might be ten people total who are involved in this, so an ADR of $350 for a sold out nite would be $35 for each of us…Not too bad, but nothing we’re going to get too worked up over, either. 

And long-time readers of this crap – whose lodging instincts are, by now, finely tuned – are no doubt wondering what the deal’s going to be when we sell our last room after the nite audit has been run…Here’s a for instance: We run the audit with 116 rooms rented at 0030 Wednesday morning, one shy of a sellout…During the audit, The System changes the business day from Tuesday to Wednesday, so a room rented after audit is technically a room rented for Wednesday even tho the guest is sleeping what’s left of Tuesday nite and leaving Wednesday morning…So Tuesday will still show 116 rooms rented, while the after audit check-in is shown as a day use room for Wednesday. 

AGM Candace still hasn’t provided any feedback on the new restaurant audit we’re doing every nite and what’s almost interesting is we’re starting to note some discrepancies, a shocker, I know…Recall there are four accounts we print folios out for and then adjust some totals off in The System, the why of which still confuses me…Anyway, we’ve noticed there have been times when the number of receipts turned in for an account – say, drink coupons – does not match the number of transactions in The System…Thank god ol’ Sparrow is an auditor whose job is only to notice this and point it out…Figuring out why and how to fix it is an accountant’s – or an AGM’s – job that we’re grateful not to have to fuss with. 

I think we’ve noted here before the scam that’s being worked on hotels…You get a call from someone who IDs himself as the owner and – not for the first time – we got one of those calls tonite…I was ready, too, I greeted him cordially and said it was a pleasure to talk to him and we were about to dive in on our spiel – which included asking him for his credit card number so we could refund some “charges” – but he panicked and hung up almost immediately…What’s funny is there are wizard nite auditors out there who actually fall for this and end up costing their hotel money, altho we’re not entirely sure how…I think they get the halfwit hotel hack to get cash and send it to them.

Sparrow’s Sleep Log: 0830 Saturday until 1930 Saturday…11.0 hours for the day and 58.5 hours for the week, a wonderful total that is just 90 minutes off the weekly PB…Key, we think, was avoiding coffee at the hotel…We were tired all nite, but that merely meant it was really easy to fall asleep.  

Regular readers of this crap are, no doubt, noting this makes consecutive sleep sessions of at least eleven hours…Immediate figures vis-a-vis the rarity of this aren’t available  – we don’t know why they aren’t available – but it doesn’t happen too often. 

———

The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence. 

It was inspired by the 19th-century British novel of the same name. 

Coming soon! Gaylon’s books in actual book form!

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