It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…
Friday, March 20
Cleanliness Is Next To Godliness
The big news at the hotel is Robert cleaned the back office…I am not making that up…This was no small task, either, because there had been some food from some gathering – chips, crackers, stuff like that, plus some stuff in the frig – that had been back there, plus two big green bags of presumably shredded paper, plus a lot of boxes, some broken down, some not…They were all gone, and the place was clean and organized and squared away.
– We’ve got some bigwigs coming, I heard.
Bigwigs can be a pain in the arse…To those in management and those on days and swing shifts…For the nite auditor, they are not…Even if they do come by for a chat, odds are this is not their first job in the hotel racket…In fact, there is the highest level of probability they’ve done an audit or two in their time and so they know the drill: unless they’re actually dealing crack from behind the front desk, you do not mess with the nite auditor…Especially one like me, who’s been here for years and shows up on time every nite…For his part, Robert said he’s not looking forward to having any “bigwigs” running around when he’s here because “you never know what they’re going to ask for”.
LOL
We were able to use one of our fave lines tonite at the hotel…A couple of airline pilots (overhearing a later conversation) had brought a pizza from the restaurant into the lobby and sat at the table in front of the front desk.
– Would you like me to taste test that for you, Sir???…For freshness….Obviously…It’s a service I like to provide our guests.
Trying to decide if we were serious, the pilot holding the pizza looked at the other pilot and then back at me…He decided we were kidding and offered me a slice, which we declined with a smile.
– We haven’t tested it for freshness yet, Sir…We couldn’t possibly accept a slice without knowing.
This line, hot off the presses of Sparrow’s mind, got the good laff it deserved from both pilots.
Running The Numbers
In what is hardly being hailed as the Upset of the Year, the March year-over-year numbers are down: room revenue is down 210K on 500 fewer rooms, and while the mountain doesn’t officially close for three weeks, it might as well be closed now, based on room projections for next week…They aren’t Virus Era numbers, but they ain’t that great, either.
Pumped Up Kicks
The big news – and it is huge – is that our new sneakers debuted at the gym tonite…I am not making that up…Actually, they’re new only in the sense they were worn for the first time tonite – we had actually bought them last summer, when we were walking 6-7 miles a day, but soon after we started doing our tai chi forms and never got around to taking them out of the box.
They’re that fancy European brand, too, a hideous fluorescent lite blue color, but I recall that being the best of the lot in the 17E shoe our feet demand…They are very nice, tho, as comfortable as the Fresh Foams we’d had for the three years…They were noticed, too, of all things…Jane, who works there, noticed, and so did Kevin – who wears them, too, and was able to expound their virtues at length – and Pablo noticed them, as well, tho he was on the phone and couldn’t chat about them as much as would’ve liked.
We had time for three sets of our new bo staff forms/deep breathing forms, and we got roughly 2.5 miles in in 43 minutes, not too bad, but too great, either.
Sparrow’s Sleep Log:
1130 Monday until 1630 Monday…5.0 hours for the day – a disastrous total – and 12.5 hours for the week, another depressing figure…We have some zero clue why it’s been taking us so long to fall asleep the past 2-3 weeks.
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The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence.
The Diary of a Nobody was inspired by the 19th-century British novel of the same name.
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