The Diary of a Nobody/March 31

Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Tuesday, March 31
21 rooms occupied tonight, a hell of a lot considering the circumstances…Heck, if you factor in the rooms that are closed for remodeling and a few others that are OOC, occupancy was darn near 50 percent tonight…Front Desk Manager Brandon was downright gleeful over this, showing how tuff times are right now.

We don’t need further signs about showing how slow we are, but here’s another one: we have not had a Discover charge since the 22nd…This is rare, even for a card as seldom used as Discover. 

Had a decision to make regarding the cookies this morning…With only several people in-house, Afternoon Cookie Service (ACS) is not getting the action it used to and only a few cookies a day are getting eaten…Remaining cookies are left on the tray, tho we do put a towel over it which, under current circumstances, may not be the brightest act in the history of Afternoon Cookie Service. 

There are two dilemmas here…The first is whether or not to add cookies to a tray that is three-fourths full…The other is how long do you keep trotting out the same cookies???…These cookies are pretty sturdy and, as noted here before, probably have half-lives of several decades…As night auditor, I’m paid to make these calls and after some modest consideration, concluded there was no reason to open more cookies…Left in the package, they’ll keep till the end of time and with only a few cookies getting eaten every day, it’s probably best to be judicious in opening new packages. 

Another tuff call I made was changing up the wake-up greeting…Usually, you start by giving your name and then the date but for reasons I still am not entirely clear on – I started with the date!!!…I am not making that up. 

Good morning, this is your wake-up call, it’s Tuesday, March 31st…I’m Sparrow, and today we’re looking at some clouds and some sunshine with temperatures in the mid-50s, lows will be about freezing. Thank you for staying with us. 

It was such a radical departure from the usual ‘good-morning-this-is-Sparrow’ stuff that I listened to it a couple of times before deciding it wouldn’t throw our few guests that had wake-up calls into a tizzy. 

There was a voicemail from Dean, the state Legion commander waiting for me when I woke up this afternoon (see Sleep Log below)…I was kind of curious because even tho I am district commander state commanders seldom call me, they’ll call Stanko, the district adjutant and the one who really knows what’s going on up here…My job is to provide big picture goals and the inspiration to get there, not fuss over the latest membership figures…Commander Dean noted District 14 is really close to meeting our goal for the April  (I grunted knowingly, even tho this was news to me) and that the District was only a few renewals or new members away from being tops in the state for our class…I told Commander Dean I would get the whip out and start cracking it. 

My walk went great…My goal is to walk as often as I can and Tuesday evenings are a great time because I am generally fully rested (see Sleep Log below)…It was in the mid-50s when I started and a breeze started up by the time I reached what passes for downtown here and I kept a good pace the whole way.

There were a couple of checks waiting for me at the PO box…One was a rebate of the recorder’s fees when I refinanced The Shire and another was from the bank for a substantial amount…I have no idea what this was for…There was some sort of code included but I don’t have the bank’s codes memorized, tho it probably had something to do with a loan that was paid off with the refinancing…It’s of no consequence because I don’t really care…It’s a check with my name on it, God bless whoever sent it…Both checks add up to a bit more than what the first mortgage payment is going to be the first of May and joyfully deposited them. 

I did make a mistake tho…I was mobile depositing them and after I’d uploaded both checks I was asked to enter the amount of the first check and like a dolt I entered the combined total, which I didn’t realize until it asked me the total for the second check. 

Sigh…Figuring this couldn’t have the first time this had happened in mobile deposit history, I called the bank and Charlotte confirmed that it happens all the time…She took the correct amount and put me on hold and came back a couple of minutes later to report I’d done enuff damage and the matter would correct itself in a couple of days, I didn’t have to do anything else. 

Sparrow’s Sleep Log: 0900 Tuesday until 1600 Tuesday…7.0 hours for the day and 18.0 hours for the week, a pretty good total considering the 4.5-hour start we got to the sleep week on Sunday. 

The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence. 

It was inspired by the 19th-century British novel of the same name. 

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