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There is lots of funny, almost substantive, crap to read here, so dive right in. The Daily Dose is offered with our compliments, and we have books for sale, too, all available in an exciting, easy-to-read, flipbook format.


The Gaylon Library
Click on the title for excerpts and a sample chapter.

Criminals, Courtesans, and Constables – $3.99
A bloke runs courtesans in and out of palaces and 5-star hotel suites and runs afoul of the constables. Notable for unnamed protagonist, two lines of dialogue.
The Regular Guys – $3.99
Lenny and Larry, two comedians with careers going nowhere, team up to become the biggest act in show business.
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo: A Vegas Memoir – $3.99
Join the graveyard crew of the Monte Carlo Security Department on the Las Vegas Strip. To get any closer to the action, you’d have to clock in and go to work yourself.
We The People: Making America America Again – $2.99
Gaylon, a past Libertarian nominee for the United States Senate and House, shows there is nothing wrong with our country that cannot be solved by concerned and conscientious citizens.


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The Diary of a Nobody/June 15

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The Daily Dose/Saturday, June 15, 2019

The Daily Dose/June 15, 2019
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Leading Off will return.

Today At The Site
The Diary of a NobodySparrow and The Wife buy a boat and take it to a lake. Today’s Diary.

This actually started Wednesday when The Wife texted me a pic of a price tag from the retailer: $49.99, tho what was $49.99 for wasn’t immediately clear because the pic was only of the price tag so it was tuff to tell if it was a good buy or not…I mean, $49.99 for, say, a quality lawn mower is a really good deal…On the other hand, if it was a price tag for a package of bratwurst, it was a lousy deal…Turned out it was for an inflatable boat, so I texted her back what the hell, why not???

It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life.

The drivel simply does not stop: please click on the button to read The Diary of a Nobody. $5.99 includes all entries, past, present, and future.

On This Date
In 1215 – King John of England affixed his seal to the Magna Carta. Essentially a peace treaty between the crown and assorted, peeved, English barons, the treaty guaranteed the barons various rights, including church rights, protection for illegal imprisonment, speedy trials, and limits on payments for the crown. While the Magna Carta would lose some of its practical significance over the years – only three of the original 63 provisions are still in force – it did have a profound effect on the United States Constitution.

In 1980 – Jack Nicklaus wins the US Open, shooting a final round 68 to finish at eight under par and defeat Japan’s Isao Aoiki by two strokes. With the win, Nicklaus became the fourth golfer to win a record four US Opens, joining Willie Anderson, Bobby Jones and Ben Hogan and Nicklaus’ 18-years between first and fourth US Open wins is the most amongst those who have won four US Opens. The record still stands.

In 1974 – Bo Donaldson and the Heywoods are #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the first of two consecutive weeks Billy Don’t Be a Hero. It was the first chart single for the group, which was formed in Cincinnati in the 1960s and who got their break opening for the Osmonds in the early 1970s. While their four follow-up singles all hit the Hot 100, none got higher than #15. Earlier in 1974, Paper Lace had spent three weeks at #1 in Great Britain with the song.

Quotebook
…his life seemed to prove that the valorous were the favorites of fortune. He was simply inviting the Convention to do what he had done repeatedly – to aim as high as possible and to strain every nerve to attain the goal.
John C Miller
Alexander Hamilton: Portrait in Paradox

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
George Strait has had 44 #1 songs on Billboard’s country chart, the most of any artist on either the country, pop, or soul charts.

Today’s Stumper
What golfer took the fewest years to win four US Open golf titles? – Answer next time!

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The Diary of a Nobody/June 14

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A Day Off

Friends, we are taking today off.

Everything will return Saturday morning.

Gaylon

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The Daily Dose/Thursday, June 13, 2019

The Daily Dose/June 13, 2019
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Last week we talked about impeaching the president of the United States both in general (the House impeaches, the Senate tries, with a two-thirds majority required for conviction) and specifically about President Trump (the House should probably look into it). Today we continue this thrilling series with a look at the 1868 impeachment and trial of President Andrew Johnson.

Johnson, Democrat. was the 17th President of the United States, taking office in April 1865 after Abraham Lincoln was liquidated by John Wilkes Booth. Johnson was a United States Senator from Tennessee when the Civil War broke out and was the only senator from a Confederate state to maintain his seat in the United States Senate. He was nominated as Lincoln’s vice president in 1864 on the National Union ticket.

Johnson was a self-educated, decent man, a hardheaded sort who probably could have used some more people skills, whose persistence saw him rise from a tailor’s apprentice to the White House. Like Gerald Ford a century later, Johnson assumed the presidency under circumstances the Son of Man, and maybe even Lincoln himself, would have found challenging. Johnson and Congress had differing ideas about how to reconstruct the Union after the Civil War, with the House controlled by what was then known as the Radical Republicans, ultimately impeaching Johnson in February 1868 for violating the Tenure of Office Act, which limited the president’s ability to fire cabinet officials, an act Congress repealed in 1869. There were a total of eleven articles of impeachment and interest in the Senate trial was so great the Senate was obliged to issue admission passes for the first time in its history. The trial was presided over by Chief Justice Salmon P Chase.

As we’ve pointed out, as both the Johnson and Clinton impeachment showed, impeachment is a political and not a criminal process. In Johnson’s case, a GOP-controlled House acted solely because Johnson had annoyed them. We are moderately well read on Johnson, whom we’ve always admired for his tenacity and courage, and we don’t think he deserved impeachment because the Tenure of Office Act he violated was itself unconstitutional.

Johnson was acquitted in his Senate trial by one vote when a handful of Republican Senators thought both Johnson was getting railroaded and that the presidency deserved better and voted for acquittal. Johnson would finish out his term and sought, but did not earn, the Democrat’s presidential nomination in 1868. He declined to attend the inauguration of his successor, Ulysses S. Grant and after finishing up some routine business on his final day in office, Johnson left the White House a little after 12 noon.

Today At The Site
The Diary of a NobodyFriends, today’s Diary of a Nobody is pretty funny and, in a shameless attempt to get you to read every day, is offered without charge.

I’m at the Human Services front desk farting around with Denise and this kid walks up and announces he’s in receipt of a letter announcing his EBT benefits (the 21st century version of food stamps, they come on a debit card) are going to end June 21…I’d seen him drive up and park and walk up and I thought to myself, well, maybe that Jaguar you drove up in had something to do with it…I kept my mouth shut, tho, having learned at the retailer you never know who qualifies for help putting food on the table…

It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life.

The drivel simply does not stop: please click on the button to read The Diary of a Nobody. $5.99 includes all entries, past, present, and future.

On This Date
In 1966 – The US Supreme Court, in a 5-4 vote, rules in Miranda v. Arizona that police must advise suspects of their right to remain silent and to counsel while in custody. The case began in 1963 when Ernesto Miranda was arrested on suspicion of raping an 18-year-old girl and confessed without being advised of his right to an attorney. Miranda was later convicted of the same crime without his confession, was sentenced to 20-30 years, paroled in 1972 and murdered in a bar fight in 1976.

In 1940 – The Boston Red Sox defeat the Chicago Cubs 10-9 at Doubleday Field in Cooperstown, New York in the first Hall of Fame Game. Ted Williams had two home runs in a game that was shortened to seven innings because of rain. In a scheduling note, both teams were starting road trips, with the Cubs heading to Boston and the Red Sox heading to Chicago. The Hall of Fame Game was canceled after the 2008 season due to scheduling problems caused by Cooperstown’s remote location.

In 1970 – The Beatles are at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the 20th and final time with The Long and Winding Road. The song spent two consecutive weeks at the top and also went to #1 in Canada, though it was not released as a single in Great Britain. The song was originally offered to Tom Jones, who had to decline it because he was contractually obligated to release another song first. The Beatles’ 20 #1 songs remain a Billboard Hot 100 record.

Quotebook
…the spirit of inquiry was alive here, and where it has free existence, ignorance cannot last.
Louis L’Amour
The Walking Drum

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Gallant Fox, ridden by Earl Sande, was the second winner of the Triple Crown, in 1931.

Today’s Stumper
What act has the most #1 songs on either Billboard’s pop, soul or country chart?? – Answer next time!

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The Diary of a Nobody/June 12

Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

June 12
Renewed my acquaintance with drunks passed out in hotel hallways tonight…I’d run into this pretty much every hour on the hour working security in Sin City, but it’s rare in small-town hotels…It started right as I reported for duty with a call from a guy who said he had just received a call from his brother who apparently said he was about to pass out in one of our hallways…All right…We’re a classy joint that frowns on sleeping in our hallways – that’s why we gave you a room key – so I head out and find this young guy sprawled out in the hall of the east wing of the second floor…Fortunately, he was responsive, sleeping it off and not truly passed out, which could have obliged me to implement Official Sparrow Revival Techniques, such as pouring water in an ear or a sternum rub or, as a last resort, kicking him in the side of the head. 

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The Daily Dose/Wednesday, June 12, 2019

The Daily Dose/June 12, 2019
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Friends, The Daily Dose will return. Promise.

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The Diary of a Nobody/June 11

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The Daily Dose/Tuesday, June 11, 2019

The Daily Dose/June 11, 2019
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
As noted below, today is the 243rd anniversary of the Continental Congress appointing a committee to write what would become the Declaration of Independence. All five are certified Founding Fathers and while two are generally remembered only by the most persistent history buffs, the other three are living down the ages. As we have before here, we found ourselves wondering what the members of the Committee of Five might think of the country they helped found.

Roger Sherman, who favored allowing the federal government to raise money and regulate commerce, would probably be shell shocked at exactly how much money the government raises and how much they regulate business in our country.

Robert Livingston, respectfully known as the Chancellor, was the minister to France who negotiated the Louisiana Purchase and it is probably not a stretch to say he might well be appalled at how much his country now interferes in the affairs of other countries.

Benjamin Franklin would marvel at the airplane and, immediately upon arrival in first class, would order champagne and flirt with your wives and, as likely as not, your daughters. It is unlikely he would be surprised at our technological advancements and he would be impressed with every one of them.

Thomas Jefferson would be glad, relieved, to see the slavery he abhorred but did absolutely nothing to eliminate – either on his plantation or in his country – abolished. Always a fan of exploration, Jefferson would delight at the pictures his fellow humans took on the moon.

John Adams, who once said democracies eventually “exhaust” and “murder” themselves, would in no way, shape or form be surprised to see America within a generation or two of self-destruction.

All would wonder at, but perhaps not be surprised by, the inept, partisan and bickering government we have now. They would wonder because they had the courage to shed a government they found intolerable and would wonder why you and I – we the people – didn’t have similar courage. Smart men with insights into human nature, they wouldn’t be particularly surprised, though, because they knew us humans have a tough time shedding the familiar, even when the familiar is not serving us particularly well. All five would also tell us that a better government is there for the taking and would encourage, and probably demand, we take advantage of the regular elections they provided for us. They would tell us the solution to our country’s problems looks us in the mirror every morning: concerned and conscientious citizens wanting better for their country, just like they did.

They would realize, like we should, that America cannot continue with perpetual war and mindless spending with impunity. Eventually, perhaps before this half-century is out, it will destroy us.

The solution is you and me – we the people – demanding better government on Election Day. It starts with you and starts with me and it starts in 2020. America’s next Founding Fathers – you and me, we the people – look us in the mirror every morning.

Today At The Site
The Diary of a NobodySparrow deals with a guest whose credit card was declined at check-in. Today’s Diary.

…he came in about 0030 and he was surprised the card was declined because it was a company card and he works for a pretty big company, too, one you would think pays its bills…I swiped the actual card, on the off chance an incorrect number was entered when the reservation was made, but no go, it was still declined…He offered a personal card for the first night, until he could talk to the bastards at corporate…

It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life.

The drivel simply does not stop: please click on the button to read The Diary of a Nobody. $5.99 includes all entries, past, present, and future.


On This Date
In 1776 – The Second Continental Congress, meeting in Philadelphia, appoints five members to a committee to draft a document announcing they were separating from Great Britain. The members of the committee were Benjamin Franklin, John Adams, Roger Sherman, Robert Livingston and Thomas Jefferson. Known to History as the Committee of Five, everyone but Jefferson was content to leave the writing of what would become the Declaration of Independence to Jefferson, who had a first draft ready by June 28.

In 1919 – Sir Barton, ridden by Johnny Loftus, becomes the first horse to win what is now known as the Triple Crown, winning the Belmont Stakes in 2 minutes, 17.4 seconds for what was then a 1⅜ mile race. On May 10 Sir Barton won the Kentucky Derby and four days later won the Preakness. In between the Preakness and the Belmont stakes he won the Withers Stakes at Aqueduct in New York City. The term Triple Crown would not come into general usage until the 1920s and since Sir Barton, twelve other horses have won the Triple Crown, most recently by Justify in 2018.

In 1966 – The Rolling Stones are at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the first of two consecutive weeks with Paint It Black. The song also went to #1 in Great Britain, Canada and the Netherlands, where it also went to #1 again in 1990. It was the third #1 song for the Stones in the US and their sixth #1 in their native Britain. It was also the first #1 song to feature the sitar, played by Brian Jones. The Stones were followed at #1 by the Beatles and Frank Sinatra, marking the only time chart history three of the biggest acts in chart history appeared at #1 consecutively.

Quotebook
Every man is free to do that which he wills, provided he infringes not on the equal freedom of any other man.
Herbert Spencer

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
James Earl Ray was arrested for the murder of Martin Luther King, Jr at Heathrow Airport in London.

Today’s Stumper
Who was the second horse to win the Triple Crown? – Answer next time!

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The Diary of a Nobody/June 10

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