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The Daily Dose/Friday, November 15, 2019

The Daily Dose/November 15, 2019
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience…

Leading Off will return.

Today At The Site
The Diary of a NobodySparrow and The Wife spend some quality time in the next county. Today’s Diary. 

While we were in the next county we had dinner at our fave Mexican joint and then went and watched some funny guys called the Harlem Wizards play basketball…This was a pretty good show…It was at the high school and I found out about them because they were staying at the hotel last week…I’d never seen the Wizards before, but I go way back with their kindred spirits, the Globetrotters because they held their winter training where I went to high school in LA and they were pretty friendly and if you paid attention you learned the secret of how Curly made his half-court shot regularly: he shot it a hundred times a day, a lesson I wasn’t really ready to learn when I was a kid. The Wizards put on a hell of a show…They were in tuff against the faculty, tho the Wizards eventually pulled away at the end because they could dunk and the teachers couldn’t.  

It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life.

Click here to get in on the laffs: Sparrow, The Bottom Ten, the funniest books you’ve ever read. We offer 4Ever and Ever access, or cheapskates can purchase books and columns individually. 

On This Date
In 1777 – After 16 months of debate, the Continental Congress of the United States adopts the Articles of Confederation. It was the third item of business that day, right behind dealing with a letter from General George Washington requesting “blankets and other articles of cloathing”. The Articles, among other things, did not provide for an executive and dictated the several states be represented by no less than two nor more than seven members, and delegates were limited to serving three years in any six year period. The Articles of Confederation were replaced by the United States Constitution in 1789. 

In 1973 – Bobby Orr of the Boston Bruins becomes the first NHL defensemen to have seven points in a game in a 10-2 victory over the New York Rangers. Orr had a goal and two assists in the first period and added two goals and two assists in the third period. Orr broke the record of six that had been done five times in the past, including twice by Orr. The record for most points in a game by defenseman is now eight, done twice, most recently by Paul Coffey of Edmonton in 1986. 

In 1941 – Freddie Martin is at #1 on Billboard’s Best Selling Singles chart – it’s first American popular music chart – for the seventh of eight consecutive weeks with Piano Concerto in B Flat. It was the first of four #1 songs for Martin, all in the 1940’s and was originally composed by Tchaikovsky in 1875 and revised 1879 and 1888. Martin also recorded a version of the song with lyrics, which charted under the name Tonight We Love. A rather versatile performer, his novelty song Pico and Sepulveda – named after a Los Angeles intersection – was recorded under the name Felix Figueroa and his Orchestra. 

Quotebook
All rising to a great place is by a winding stair. 

Francis Bacon

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Nelly Bly’s real name was Elizabeth Cochran Seaman

Today’s Stumper
Who holds the NHL record for most in a game by anyone? – Answer next time!

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The Diary of a Nobody/November 14

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The Daily Dose/Thursday, November 14, 2019

The Daily Dose/November 14, 2019
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience…

Leading Off will return.

Today At The Site
The Diary of a NobodySparrow has a moderately funny exchange with a guest. Today’s Diary. 

Had a funny exchange – well, a sort of funny exchange – with a guest this morning…He came down to buy his half-off breakfast coupon for the restaurant and he had come down yesterday and I didn’t remember his name…I acknowledged this glaring hole in my hospitality and offered apologies. 

– Oh, don’t even…How many people do you see in a day???:
This is a standard response…The answer is usually two, but if they want to think I see hundreds of people every night, so be it. I was bending over a bit filling in his coupon and I stood up and made the sign of the cross in a manner that would’ve had the pope achieving and maintaining a state of arousal.
– Bless you my son…You are gracious.
– I mean, if this was a $5,000 a night palace…
– Hell, then I would know your blood type…

It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life.

The Bottom Ten/NFL Week 12It’s the race for the most coveted trophy in sports: The Dan Henning Trophy, symbolic of NFL Bottom Ten supremacy. 

Here are some funny lines from this week’s NFL Bottom Ten: 

Giants earn Ed Koch Kup, symbolic of Gotham football ineptitude, with huge road loss to Jets that wasn’t secured until clutch fumble on final drive…

Falcons playing with B-10 fire, as with depth of 2019 B-10 field, even one (1) more win could spell disaster for title chances…

Focus important this week, as Browns cannot get caught looking ahead 11/24 showdown with Dolphins.

Click here to get in on the laffs: Sparrow, The Bottom Ten, the funniest books you’ve ever read. We offer 4Ever and Ever access, or cheapskates can purchase books and columns individually. 

On This Date
In 1889 – Nelly Bly, a reporter for the New York World, begins a trip to travel around the world in 80 days, an adventure inspired by Jules Verne’s 1873 novel Around the World in Eighty Days. Bly left Hoboken, New Jersey by ship and after arriving in England traveled through the Middle East and Asia before sailing to San Francisco and taking a train back to New York. It took Bly 72 days to make her journey, and she traveled and estimated 25,000 miles. 

In 1943 – Sid Luckman of the Chicago Bears establishes new NFL records for most passing yards and most touchdown passes in a game throwing for 433 yards and seven touchdowns in 56-7 win over the New York Giants. Luckman broke Cecil Isbell’s record of 333 yards in a game, established in 1942, and broke Sammy Baugh’s single-game touchdown record of six established two weeks earlier. Luckman’s touchdown record has been tied seven times, most recently by Drew Brees in 2015 while, Luckman’s single-game passing record has been topped many times, with the record now held by Norm Van Brocklin of the Los Angeles Rams, who threw for 554 yards in a 1951 game. 

In 1952 –  Al Martino has the first #1 song on the first British popular music chart, with Here in My Heart at #1 on the New Musical Express magaizne’s chart for the first of nine consecutive weeks. Over the years other sources published charts in Britain and the official British chart is now published by the Official Charts Company. Earlier, the song had peaked at #1 on Billboard’s Best Sellers in Stores chart. To date, there have been 1,359 #1 songs on the British chart and the current #1 song Dance Monkey by Tones and I, now in its sixth week at #1. 

Quotebook
No god who cared about his creation would abandon the innocent.

Cameron Todd Willingham

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Ray Mancini oringinally won the WBA lightweight title from Arturo Frias, with a first-round knock out on May 8, 1982. 

Today’s Stumper
What was Nelly Bly’s real name? – Answer next time!

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The Bottom Ten/NFL Week 12

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The Diary of a Nobody/November 13

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The Daily Dose/Wednesday, November 13, 2019

The Daily Dose/November 13, 2019
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience…

Leading Off will return.

Today At The Site
The Diary of a NobodySparrow delivers a bus ticket to a veteran getting released from jail. Today’s Diary. 

The kid turned out to be older, a bit younger than me, actually, wearing shorts, t-shirt and sandals because that was what he had been picked up in over the summer…It was 12 degrees out and after introducing ourselves and whatnot he said he was going to call a friend and he’d wait here the warm waiting area…I asked him which branch of the service he’d been in and he said Army, 26 years, and the way he rattled off battle sites and VA jargon I had no reason to doubt him…Either he was telling the truth or he’d put enuff work into getting his free bus ticket that further queries would result in my dismemberment…After a few minutes, there was nothing left to do, so we shook hands and I wished him luck and that was that. 

It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life.

The Bottom Ten/NCAA Week 12There’s a new holder of the Continental Cup – issued to the team with longest all-division losing streak in NATO – plus the usual nonsense in the race for the ESPNCup. The NCAA Bottom Ten is free to read this week. 

Here are some funny lines from the week’s NCAA Bottom Ten: 

UMess back in natural habitat – the B-10 medal stand – with huge loss to latest crop of Army officer candidates…UMess hurt by pregame Army secretary ruling requiring Cadet defense to impale ball carriers with bayonets instead of tackling them…

Commodores still hampered by turn-of-century decision to merge Athletic, Student Affairs as debate team members sent out to play defense caught off guard while discussing philosophical merits of fair catch rule with field judge.

Football failures blamed on Lutheran trait of not wanting to hurt opponent’s feelings by denying them access to end zone…

Click here to get in on the laffs: Sparrow, The Bottom Ten, the funniest books you’ve ever read. We offer 4Ever and Ever access, or cheapskates can purchase books and columns individually. 

On This Date
In 1974 – Ronald DeFeo, Jr kills his parents and four siblings, shooting them to death in their Long Island, New York home. The killings happened at about 3am, after which DeFeo went to work, only drawing attention to the deaths while asking for help at a bar later that evening. Originally DeFeo had implicated a local mobster and had been taken to the police station for his protection, however his story was inconsistent and he confessed the following day and is currently serving six concurrent 25-years-to-life sentences. The events were the inspiration for the book and film The Amityville Horror. 

In 1982 – Ray Mancini defeats Kim Duk-koo by knockout, 19 seconds into the 14th round at Caesars Palace in Las Vegas. With the win, Mancini retained his WBA lightweight title. Kim fell into a coma shortly after the bout and died four days later. Among the changes Kim’s death brought on were the standing eight count and the reduction of title fights from 15 to 12 rounds.

In 1971 – Cher is at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the second and final week with Gypsys, Tramps & Thieves. It was the first four #1s for Cher as a solo act and the third of twelve top 10 hits, all of which had been preceeded by a #1 hit and five Top 10 hits as one-half of the Sonny and Cher duo. The song also went to #1 in Canada and peaked at #4 in Great Britain.

Quotebook
…how is it that we know any thing…except by the analogies of past experience. What has once happened will invariably happen again.

Abraham Lincoln

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
The Mayflower and its passengers were originally headed for Virginia. 

Today’s Stumper
Who did Ray Mancini beat to win the WBA light-heavyweight title? – Answer next time!

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The Bottom Ten/NCAA Week 12

The Bottom Ten/NCAA Week 12
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy 

Even with the top two teams in last week’s Bottom Ten – Rice and Akron – taking the week off, from actually playing at least, the chase for the ESPNCup is so deep, this week’s medal stand still checks in with a combined 2-27 record. 

The big news is Thiel College is the new holder of the Continental Cup – issued to the team with the longest all-division losing streak in NATO – as Shorter won, ending their losing streak at 49 games. 

This week’s mess: 

1. New Mexico State (0-9; lost to Ole Miss 41-3)
Mitigating Factors: Aggies take advantage of opportunity to test drive B-10 top spot with clutch, road blowout loss…Game not as close as score indicated, as Aggies give up 606 yards total offense as only blemish on shutout was curious second-quarter field goal…Aggies 0-9 for first time since vaunted 2005 squad claimed school’s only B-10 title, running table with perfect 0-12 season.
FunFact: Current eleven (11)-game skid best amongst teams who could be bothered to have actually played game last Saturday.
Next Loss: Incarnate Word

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The Diary of a Nobody/November 12

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The Daily Dose/Tuesday, November 12, 2019

The Daily Dose/November 12, 2019
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Friends, The Daily Dose will return.

Click here to read The Diary of a Nobody.

The NCAA Bottom Ten will move Wednesday.

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The Diary of a Nobody/November 11

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