The Daily Dose/February 26, 2021
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience.

INCOMING!: Yesterday in this item – which concerned America’s Perseverance rover landing on Mars – we did some modest whining about how us humans still have not set foot there. We’re going to do more whining about that today. 

Stop Us If You’ve Heard This Before: We should have had humans on Mars in the Reagan Administration and all of us should be ashamed we didn’t. Since time immemorial it’s been human nature to explore. First, we wondered what was on the other side of that hill, then what was across the river and soon enough we were sailing the seas. The next thing we knew we were discovering what was beyond the clouds and once we found that out, we should have kept going. 

Dry, Technical Matter: Now, the prospect that Apollo was ahead of its time cannot be entirely dismissed, but a full half-century ahead of its time? No, that is not reasonable. America has gotten lazy, failing to retain hold of the moment JFK commanded us to seize in 1961 and now America cannot even send men into space for any length of time now.  

The Bottom Line: There are those who say unmanned rovers can do everything on Mars a human would do. True enough, except for one thing: they cannot tell us what it’s like to be there! That alone is reason enough to go. The general spirit of daring and accomplishment fostered would have yielded advances in many other pursuits and we dare say America – encouraged by these successes – would not be the fractured, partisan and bickering mess it is now. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow enjoys a leisurely day off. 

In due course, listening proved to be more work than I was willing to put it into my day off because yours truly couldn’t be bothered to find something new to listen to after it ended and the only reason I didn’t go to bed was the cat had set up a command post on my chest.  

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It’s easy reading on any device. 

Columns, books, shopping lists, click here to get in on the laughs.
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On This Date
The long march to today. 

In 1616 – Italian scientist Galileo Galilei is banned by the Catholic Church from teaching heliocentrism, the nonsense that the earth revolves around the sun. Faced with either accepting the judgement or accepting the judgement, Galileo accepted the judgement, though he remained a rascal and would stand trial again in 1633 and would remain under house arrest for the remaining nine years of his life. 

In 2006 – Sweden wins the Olympic ice hockey gold medal at the Turin Winter Games with a 3-2 win over Finland in the championship game. The Czech Republic earned the bronze medal, marking the first time either Canada or the Soviet Union/Russia had not won a medal in men’s Olympic ice hockey. Earlier in the tournament, Canada had won the women’s gold medal with a 4-1 win over Sweden. 

In 1966 – Slim Harpo is at #1 on the Billboard soul chart – then known as the Hot Rhythm & Blues Singles chart – for the first of two consecutive weeks with Baby Scratch My Back. The song also peaked at #16 on the Hot 100, was Harpo’s second of four soul chart singles and remains Harpo’s only appearance at #1 on a Billboard chart. Harpo wrote the song, though it was credited under his given name of James Moore. Though noted for clean living, Harpo died of a heart attack in 1970 at age 46. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

…very often it is not possible to see what is right in front of you because you happen to be looking in the wrong direction.
Gore Vidal
Creation

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

Mexico (2011, 1975, 1955) and Canada (2015, 199, 1967) have both hosted the Pan American Games the most times. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard. 

How many Olympic men’s ice hockey gold medals has Sweden won? – Answer next time!

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The Daily Dose/February 25, 2021
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience.

YEAH, YEAH, WHATEVER: Man returned to Mars last week when the US spacecraft Perseverance landed after a voyage of seven months. Perseverance will go through the usual motions of searching for evidence of past life on Mars.

Forgive us while we yawn. This is the sixth different calendar decade us humans have landed spacecraft on Mars and so far none of them have greeted by a knock on the door from locals wondering what the deal is. 

Dry, Technical Matter: Man first had spacecraft on Mars in 1971 when the Soviet Union’s Mars 3 landed, though it failed within two minutes of arrival. The first US Martian lander was Viking 1 in August 1975, followed a month later by Viking 2. Perseverance was launched last July and has already sent back the first audio from Mars, a sample that is as interesting as it is dull. 

USA! USA! Of moderate interest is the helicopter Ingenuity. It’s about a foot-and-a-half high, its rotors have a 4-foot diameter and it weighs about 4 lbs. It has a range of a bit more than 50 yards and a maximum altitude of 16 feet. If successful – not a given considering the Martian atmosphere – it would be man’s first successful powered flight on another planet, a nice little milestone whose full impact may not be apparent until the 22nd-century. 

The Bottom Line: Forgive our indifference, but regular readers of this crap know we feel America could have had humans on Mars in the 1980s had we felt like it. But we didn’t feel like it and now America is unable to put anyone into space for a sustained period anymore. Instead of basking in the glow of the accomplishment and enjoying the advances a manned Martian landing would have produced, we are still wondering what might have been. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow is obliged to listen in on a rather dull couple bicker about whether or not to cancel a reservation. 

Good gravy, this was tedious to listen to, a wonderful insight into the joy that must attend their marriage on a daily basis…As it was, I was obliged to provide exact figures for both Friday/Saturday and Friday and Saturday only stays before they decided to come up only for Friday nite. 

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Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device. 

Columns, books, shopping lists, click here to get in on the laughs.
4Ever & Ever ($8.99) and monthly ($2.99) plans available. 

———

On This Date
The long march to today. 

In 1986 – Ferdinand Marcos, the president of the Philippines for 20 years, flees his country following a democratic revolt that had begun three days earlier. The revolt involved over 2 million citizens, as well as religious, political and military leaders and led to the inauguration of Corazon Aquino as president. Marcos later flew to Guam and then Hawaii, where he died in 1989. History refers to the event as the People Power Revolution. 

In 1951 – The first Pan-American Games open in Buenos Aires. 21 nations from the Americas took part, with host Argentina winning the most medals, 142, and the most gold medals, 63. The United States took the gold medal in basketball, Cuba the gold medal in baseball and Argentina the gold medal in polo. The Games had originally been scheduled for 1942 but had been canceled due to World War II. 

In 1950 – Chattanoogie Shoe Shine Boy by Red Foley is at #1 on Billboard’s Best Sellers in Stores chart – a predecessor to the Hot 100 – for the second of four consecutive weeks. The song was also in its fifth of twelve consecutive weeks at #1 on Billboard’s Country & Western Best Sellers chart and was Foley’s fifth of ten #1 country songs. Versions by Bing Crosby (#4), Frank Sinatra (#10) and Bill Darnell (#18) also hit the Best Sellers in Stores chart in 1950. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

…the weak broken and torn for the profit and convenience of the strong.
Harriet Beecher Stowe
Uncle Tom’s Cabin

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

The NHL team record for most shots on goal in a game is 73, by the Boston Bruins in a 3-3 tie against the Quebec Nordiques on March 21, 1991. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard. 

What nations have hosted the Pan-American Games the most times? – Answer next time!

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The Daily Dose/February 23, 2021
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience.

Leading Off is enjoying some time off. It has a rough life.

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow notes a change at the hotel’s sundry stand. Today’s Diary. 

Also, someone – there are no suspects yet – rearranged the ice cream!!!…I am not making that up…It used to be two rows of chocolate fudge, two rows of that cookie dough crap that’s pure sugar and two rows of cherry.

Not anymore…Some genius on dayshift decided the order should now be cherry, chocolate, cookie dough…No, ol’ Sparrow has some zero clue why, either, and he didn’t fuss with it, see previous remarks about not stirring things up.  

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Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device. 

Columns, books, shopping lists, click here to get in on the laughs.
4Ever & Ever ($8.99) and monthly ($2.99) plans available. 

——-

On This Date
The long march to today. 

In 1803 – The United States Supreme Court issues its ruling in Marbury v. Madison. With this ruling – which stemmed from judicial appointments President John Adams made at the end of his term so incoming President Thomas Jefferson could not make them – the Supreme Court first asserted its authority to review the constitutionality of acts of Congress, an authority not given it in the Constitution. 

In 1968 – Rod Gilbert of the New York Rangers establishes a new NHL record for most shots on goal in a game in a 6-1 win over the Montreal Canadiens. Gilbert had 16 shots of goal – scoring on four of them – in the game, breaking the record of 14 established by Ed Litzenberger on December 20, 1959, and Gilbert’s mark is still the record for a regulation game. The all-time mark is 19, by Ray Bourque of the Boston Bruins in an overtime game on March 21, 1991. This stat was first kept in the 1959-60 season. 

In 1979 – Rod Stewart is at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the third of four consecutive weeks with Da Ya Think I’m Sexy? For Stewart, it was his 17th of 34 Top 40 hits, his fourth 16 Top 10 songs and his third of four #1s. The song went to #1 in five other countries, including Spain and Great Britain, peaked at #5 on Billboard’s soul chart and was Billboard’s 4th-biggest song of the year. Stewart donated his royalties from the song to UNICEF. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

A great civilization is not conquered from without until it has destroyed itself within. The essential causes of Rome’s decline lay in her people, her morals, her class struggle, her failing trade, her bureaucratic despotism, her stifling taxes, her consuming wars.
Will Durant
The Story of Civilization, Vol. III: Caesar to Christ

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

Queen’s biggest hit in Great Britain was Bohemian Rhapsody, which went to #1 twice, for nine weeks in 1975-76 and for five weeks in 1991-92. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard. 

Which NHL team holds the record for most shots on goal in a game? – Answer next time!

Go Gaylon! Visit Gaylon on Facebook here.

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The Daily Dose/February 22, 2021
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience. 

Leading Off will return.

 Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody – At the hotel, Sparrow actually has to work. Today’s Diary. 

Ol’ Sparrow was obliged to do some mopping this morning…About 0330 I’m heading to the storeroom at the ATM and ice machine and BOOM there’s standing water all over the place, plus a corresponding Out of Order sign on the ice machine…There’s also a towel at the base of the ice machine that was soaked and had long stopped sopping up water…There was water in both the hallway and the entryway to the ATM/ice machine/storage room door. 

Well, hell, something must be done about this…Rule #2 in the nite audit racket is, of course, don’t let the bastards on day shift wonder what you’re doing and it is certainly reasonable to expect your nite auditor to 1) see this and, 2) do something about it.

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Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device. 

Columns, books, shopping lists, click here to get in on the laughs.
4Ever & Ever ($8.99) and monthly ($2.99) plans available. 

———

On This Date
The long march to today. 

In 1455 – The first Gutenberg Bible – a landmark event in Western civilization – is printed in Mainz, Germany by Johannes Gutenberg. Gutenberg also developed an oil-based ink that adhered better to his metal type and 49 copies of his Bible are known to exist today. Movable type first appeared in China in the 11th-century AD and the oldest extant moveable type book dates from 1377 in Korea. 

In 1968 – Wilt Chamberlain of the Philadelphia 76ers becomes the first NBA player to reach the 25,000 career point mark in a 138-117 win over the Detroit Pistons. Chamberlain played all 48 minutes and had 31 points in the game and would retire in 1973 with 31,419 points. To date, 22 NBA players have scored at least 25,000 career points, and Chamberlain now ranks seventh on the all-time NBA scoring list. 

In 1980 – Queen is at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the first of four consecutive weeks with Crazy Little Thing Called Love. It was the 5th of twelve Top 40 hits for the group, their third of four Top 10 hits and their first of two #1s (Another One Bites the Dust, three weeks, 1980). The song also went to #1 in Australia, The Netherlands and Canada, peaked at #2 in their native Great Britain and was Billboard’s 6th-biggest song of the year. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

The problem was you had to keep choosing between one evil and another, and no matter how you chose, they sliced a little bit more off you, until there was nothing left. At the age of 25 most people were finished.
Charles Bukowski
Ham on Rye

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

The United States has won two Olympic gold medals in men’s ice hockey: at Squaw Valley in 1960 and at Lake Placid in 1980. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard. 

What was Queen’s biggest hit in Great Britain? – Answer next time!

Go Gaylon! Visit Gaylon on Facebook here.

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The Daily Dose/February 21, 2021
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience.

 Leading Off will return.

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody –  Sparrow quotes a rather high rate to a walk-in. Today’s Diary.

Regular readers of this crap know there are two ways to look at this…On the one hand, Christ, Sparrow, lighten up…It’s almost oh-dark-thirty and you’re unlikely to rent the other two rooms and he’s only going to be in there for a few hours. 

On the other hand, yay for Sparrow and bottom line integrity…You don’t rent by the hour and it’s almost oh-dark-thirty and he needs a room and apparently, you have the only three vacancies in town so sure, make the guy grab his ankles and whistle Dixie. 

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Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device. 

Columns, books, shopping lists, click here to get in on the laughs.
4Ever & Ever ($8.99) and monthly ($2.99) plans available. 

———

On This Date
The long march to today. 

In 2006 – A cash depot of the armored security company Securitas is robbed of £53 million (about $68 million in today’s money) in Tonbridge, England, the robbers being let in by the manager after they’d kidnapped him. Over 30 arrests were eventually made, with eight people eventually being convicted and it remains Britain’s biggest cash robbery. The only reason even more money wasn’t taken is because the robbers ran out of room. Over £32 million pounds remain unaccounted for. 

In 1980 – The United States defeats the Soviet Union 4-3 in Olympic ice hockey at the Lake Placid Winter Games in the first game of the medal round, an event History refers to as the Miracle on Ice. Two days later the US would defeat Finland 4-2 in the final medal round game to earn the gold medal. A championship round bracket – previously only used in 1920 – would not return to Olympic hockey until 1992. 

In 1975 – Labelle is at #1 on Billboard’s soul chart – then known as the Hot Soul Singles Chart – for the only week with Lady Marmalade. The song also went to #1 in Canada and The Netherlands, peaked at #17 in Great Britain and later spent a week at #1 on the Hot 100. The song returned to #1 on the Hot 100 in 2001 (Christina Aguilera, Lil’ Kim, Mya, Pink), marking the ninth and final time a song went #1 on the Hot 100 by different artists. It remains the only #1 song for the group on either chart. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

Cicero…acquitted himself with a degree of competence and integrity that surprised and offended his friends.
Will Durant
The Story of Civilization, Vol. III: Caesar to Christ

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

The Washington Monument replaced the Cologne Cathedral in Germany as the world’s tallest building. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard. 

How many gold medals have the US men won in Olympic ice hockey? – Answer next time!

Go Gaylon! Visit Gaylon on Facebook here.

Share Gaylon! Go!