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Gaylon

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The Daily Dose/Saturday, May 25, 2019

The Daily Dose/May 25, 2019
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Leading Off will return.

Today At The Site
The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow is quoted in today’s paper, but only once, though he manages to be pretty useful at the VSO. Today’s Diary.

Stanko, as usual, is quoted left and right, and so is McGowan, past commander of our small town post but ol’ Sparrow???…One quote, and it wasn’t even my best one…My name, however, is spelled correctly – never a given with this outfit – and I was correctly identified as district commander, so I really shouldn’t complain.

It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life.

The drivel simply does not stop: please click on the button to read The Diary of a Nobody. $5.99 includes all entries, past, present, and future.

Criminals, Courtesans, and ConstablesFriends, my latest novel is now available, for $3.99 until later this week when the price goes up a couple of bucks. Criminals, Courtesans, and Constables is about a nice guy who runs high-class call girls in and out of 5-star suites and throne rooms, collects ransoms and runs from the constables. Hilarity ensues. Seriously.

Click here to read excerpts and a sample chapter.

On This Date
In 1979 – John Spenkelink, a convicted murderer, is electrocuted by the state of Florida. Spenkelink was the second person to be executed in the United States since executions resumed in 1976 and the first to fight his sentence. (Gary Gilmore had willingly been executed in 1977.) The book Among the Lowest of the Dead by David Von Drehle provides a compelling account of Spenkelink’s case.

In 1935 – Jesse Owens of Ohio State University ties or breaks four world records in a span of 45 minutes at the Big Ten track and field championships in Ann Arbor, Michigan. In order, he tied the 100-yard dash record (9.4s), then broke the long jump (26 feet, 8.25in), the 220-yard dash (20.3s) and the 220-yard low hurdles (22.6 seconds) world records. In 1936 Owens won four gold medals at the 1936 Summer Olympics in Berlin, and then lost his amateur status when he took some endorsement opportunities in the United States. He worked a variety of odd jobs and eventually declared bankruptcy. He died in 1980, aged 66.

In 1959 – The Battle of New Orleans by Johnny Horton is at #1 on Billboard’s country chart – then known as the Hot C&W Sides chart – for the second of ten consecutive weeks. The following week the song would begin the first of six consecutive weeks at the top on Billboard’s Hot 100, where it would be the biggest song of the year. It was the second of three #1s for Horton on the country chart and remains his only #1 pop hit.

Quotebook
Powell was possessed by ambition, but not the ambition that puts the reward and the success ahead of the achievement.
Robertson Davies
The Lyre of Orpheus

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Roger Connor broke Harry Stovey’s major league career home run mark with his 123rd home run in 1895.

Today’s Stumper
In what events did Jesse Owens win gold medals in at the 1936 Berlin Summer Games? – Answer next time!

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The Diary of a Nobody/May 24

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The Daily Dose/Friday, May 24, 2019

The Daily Dose/May 24, 2019
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Leading Off will return.

Today At The Site
The Diary of a Nobody: Read Free Week continues! Today Sparrow deals with the continuing Internet outage at The Shire, it’s snowing in town and he still can’t get a decent rumor about what is happening at the old diner in his small town. Today’s Diary.

I asked the ladies at the counter if they’d heard any rumors about the old diner…They shook their heads and said no, they hadn’t heard anything, except that there’s ‘been some activity there” which anyone can see driving past it.

It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life.

The drivel simply does not stop: please click on the button to read The Diary of a Nobody. $5.99 includes all entries, past, present, and future.

Criminals, Courtesans, and ConstablesFriends, my latest novel is now available, for $3.99 until later this week when the price goes up a couple of bucks. Criminals, Courtesans, and Constables is about a nice guy who runs high-class call girls in and out of 5-star suites and throne rooms, collects ransoms and runs from the constables. Hilarity ensues. Seriously.

Click here to read excerpts and a sample chapter.

On This Date
In 1883 – The Brooklyn Bridge, connecting Manhattan and Brooklyn, opens, the first fixed crossing of the East River. It took 14 years to build, has a span 1,595 feet and is 276 feet high. Approximately 1,800 vehicles and 150,000 cross the bridge that first day and the bridge now has daily traffic of roughly 105,000 cars. The Brooklyn Bridge was the world’s first steel-wire suspension bridge and was capable of elevated train traffic until 1944 and streetcar traffic until 1950.

In 1880 – Roger Connor of the Troy (NY) Trojans hits first major league home run as the Trojans defeated the Boston Red Caps – now the Atlanta Braves – 8-1. Though he never led the National League in home runs, Connor would retire in 1897 with 138 home runs, the all-time record until broken by Babe Ruth in 1921. Connor also retired as the all-time triples leader with 233.

1975 – Earth, Wind & Fire is at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 with Shining Star. The song would spend one week at the top and had earlier spent two weeks at #1 on Billboard’s soul chart. It was the first #1 song for the group and came after five of their first seven singles failed to crack the Top 40.  Shining Star remains the groups only #1 song on the pop chart and was their first of seven #1s on the soul chart. It also won a Grammy Award for Best R&B Vocal Performance by a Duo or Group.

Quotebook
The true leader is always led.
John Toland
Hitler

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
The major league record for most consecutive batters retired is 46, held by Yusmeiro Petit of the San Francisco Giants, done in 2014.

Today’s Stumper
Whose all-time major league home run record did Roger Connor break? – Answer next time!

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The Diary of a Nobody/May 23

Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Wednesday, May 23
Had a very good workout this morning, easily the best since returning to the gym earlier this month…I was able to up the weights on both shoulders and biceps and between-set squats are now up 25…Recall they had started at ten…In fact, the only holdout in the upping weight department is the bench press, but I was strong enough so that I am going to add a few pounds next time. 

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The Daily Dose/Thursday, May 23, 2019

The Daily Dose/May 23, 2019
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
The federal minimum wage is in the news again, with Democratic presidential candidates almost unanimous in calling for raising it to $15 an hour. It has been $7.25/hour since 1978 (now worth about $1.86/hour) and a federal minimum wage has been in force since 1938 when it was 25 cents an hour (about $4.50 in 2019 dollars). In recent years some cities have mandated $15/hour minimum wages and people on both sides of the issue have plenty of studies citing figures that support their view.

So let’s not bother with them. Here is a rather simple argument that is also rather logical: You work at Store A and I work at Store B. We both work 40 hours a week and make $12/hour and are in the habit of buying things at each other’s store. A federally mandated raise to $15 and hour means our employers will be obliged to pay us an extra $6,240 in wages. Are they going to eat that extra cost? Of course not, they are going to pass that cost on to their customers.

Now, presuming we still have our jobs – hardly a given in this instance, we may very well be laid off – what happens when we go into each other’s store to spend money? Prices have been raised, so whatever increased spending power we might have enjoyed has been washed away. It will be this way in every other store we shop at that was obliged to raise wages, too. We make more and we spend more and our bank accounts are no better off.

But forget the economic impact of the minimum wage, for a second because there is the philosophical argument, too:

An employment agreement is a private contract between employer and employee. The government has no business mandating any aspect of it.

Friends, we can’t depend on our government to take care of us. If you are making less than $15 an hour and want to make more, grab the bull by the horns and get yourself a raise, and if your employer won’t give you one, you have some options.

First, decide how much money you want to make, and don’t say $10 million, either. Be reasonable and be realistic: figure what do you need to make and then factor in a little extra so you go out to eat every now and then and also put some money away for when the car needs to be fixed. Then identify a job that will pay what you need to make. Again, be realistic. Don’t say psychotherapist if you are self-educated or auto mechanic if the concept of a spark plug confuses you. Select jobs that are in line with what you’re good at and what you like to do.

Then, go and put yourself in a position to get one of those jobs. Now, this is the toughest step. Gaining the skills you need could take time and effort and probably no small amount of both, but every good thing in this life takes work. Don’t be afraid, either. Work yields dividends and an investment in yourself will usually, with some patience thrown in, pay off.

We can’t depend on our government for a raise. Each of us has the power to say this is what I am today and this is what I will be tomorrow. It’s up to us to go and get it.

Today At The Site
The Diary of a Nobody: 
Sparrow puts an annoying guest on hold for three minutes, and gets the runaround from assorted government agencies at the VSO. Today’s Dairy.

After some thought, I decided to call the new White House VA 800 number…The actual existence of this line is somewhat funny because the VA has no less than five thousand 800 numbers designed to give vets information but I figured this was would be a good place to start…I half-figured she could easily transfer me to some assistant director’s office or something, I’d email him a copy of the VA letter declaring Corky was able to wipe his own ass without a designee, and that would be that.

It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life.

The drivel simply does not stop: please click on the button to read The Diary of a Nobody. $5.99 includes all entries, past, present, and future.

Criminals, Courtesans, and ConstablesFriends, my latest novel is now available, for $3.99 until later this week when the price goes up a couple of bucks. Criminals, Courtesans, and Constables is about a nice guy who runs high-class call girls in and out of 5-star suites and throne rooms, collects ransoms and runs from the constables. Hilarity ensues. Seriously.

Click here to read excerpts and a sample chapter.

On This Date
1934 – Bonnie Parker and Clyde Darrow, better known as Bonnie and Clyde, bandits who gained notoriety by robbing banks, gas stations, and small stores in rural America, are shot to death by a posse of Louisiana and Texas police who ambushed them on a rural highway in northwest Louisiana. Though it is estimated officers shot 130 rounds, the official autopsy showed 26 entry wounds on Bonnie and 17 on Clyde. Though popularly depicted otherwise, Bonnie claimed to have never smoked a cigar.

In 1998 – David Wells of the New York Yankees sees his American League (AL) record of 38 consecutive batters retired come to and, giving up a single to Darren Lewis of the Boston Red Sox with one out in the top of the first inning. In his previous start, Wells had pitched a perfect game (27 in a row) and had retired the last ten batters he had faced in the start before that. Wells’ AL record would last until Mark Buehrle of the Chicago White Sox established a new AL/major league record with 45 consecutive batters retired. 

In 1960- Cathy’s Clown by the Everly Brothers is at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for first of five consecutive weeks. The song also went to #1 in Great Britain and in June topped Billboard’s soul chart for a week, their third and final #1 song on both charts. A version by Reba McEntire went to #1 on Billboard’s country chart in 1989, making Cathy’s Clown one of the few songs to go to #1 on all three major Billboard charts.

Quotebook
Had his patience and insight equaled his ruthlessness and courage he might have saved Rome a half-century of chaos…
Will Durant
The Story of Civilization, Vol III: Caesar to Christ
Regards Sulla, a former Roman consul

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Aretha Franklin is the other act besides Stevie Wonder who has had a record 20 #1 songs on Billboard’s soul chart.

Today’s Stumper
Who now holds the major league record for most consecutive batters retired? – Answer next time!

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The Diary of a Nobody/May 22

Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Wednesday, May 22
Today’s lesson is do not annoy your desk clerk.

A bit after midnight I get a call from an older gentleman who, it turns out, wants to cancel a reservation…His voice is hoarse and gravely, not to mention accented, and is tedious to listen to…Compounding matters is his insistence on telling the entire story of his travels, which I need to hear as much as I need to hear the Beatitudes recited…All I really need to cancel your reservation is your name and arrival date, not where you live or where you’re heading to or, really, anything else…The first name he gives me isn’t in our system for arrival Saturday and by the time he comes up with the correct name I want to smack him.

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The Daily Dose/Wednesday, May 22, 2019

The Daily Dose/May 22, 2019
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Friends, The Daily Dose will return Thursday.

Today’s entry in The Diary of a Nobody can be read here, as Read Free Week continues.

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The Diary of a Nobody/May 21

Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Tuesday, May 22
I am keeping up with my scratch paper responsibilities at the hotel…Recall the stack on the back desk fell to below an inch and both Brandon and I decided to get it back to at least an inch-and-a-quarter…I am taking this responsibility so seriously I took to tearing up half-sheets of paper, full sheets that have guest information on one half – which you cant use for scratch paper, of course – but have nothing on the other half…Well, there is no reason to waste the half with nothing on it, so I cut the full page in half, shred the top half with guest information and cut the remaining half in half (now a quarter of a full page, for those keeping score at home) and put it on the scratch paper stack.

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The Daily Dose/Tuesday, May 21, 2019

The Daily Dose/May 21, 2019
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Leading Off will return.

Today At The Site
The Diary of a Nobody:
Read Free Week continues, as Sparrow shows some modest value as VSO.

Well, good thing I added Gary’s name because he called while I was sleeping and left a message saying he was willing and able to provide chauffeur services…God bless Gary…I called and gave him the vet’s contact information and told him to fill up his tank both in the big city and when he returned to town and to bring me the receipts and we would pay him…He also gets a whopping $51, and all of this is paid for by a state grant….I was happy because you would hate to tell a vet no, I can’t help you…I’m paid to say yes to requests like these and not no.

It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life.

The drivel simply does not stop: please click on the button to read The Diary of a Nobody. $5.99 includes all entries, past, present, and future.

Criminals, Courtesans, and ConstablesFriends, my latest novel is now available, for $3.99 until later this week when the price goes up a couple of bucks. Criminals, Courtesans, and Constables is about a nice guy who runs high-class call girls in and out of 5-star suites and throne rooms, collects ransoms and runs from the constables. Hilarity ensues. Seriously.

Click here to read excerpts and a sample chapter.

On This Date
1972 – Michelangelo’s masterpiece La Pieta, a sculpture of Mary holding a dying Jesus, is vandalized at St Peter’s Basilica in Vatican City. The culprit is a Hungarian wizard named Lazlo Toth, who, immediately before damaging the sculpture, announced to the assemblage that he was Jesus Christ. He then knocked off part of Mary’s arm and also damaged her nose and an eye. Toth was later judged insane and not charged before being deported to Australia, where he had also lived and studied. He wasn’t charged there either, and died in 2012, aged 74.  

In 1930 – Max Bishop of the Philadelphia A’s becomes the first major league player to walk eight times in a doubleheader, as the A’s swept the New York Yankees at home 15-7 and 4-1. Bishop walked five times in the first game and three more in the nightcap, otherwise going 0-for-3 on the day with two runs scored. The record still stands, though Bishop equaled it in 1934, becoming one of the few major leaguers to establish and then tie his own major league record.

In 1977 – Stevie Wonder is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the first of three consecutive weeks with Sir Duke. It was Wonder’s second #1 song of the year, following I Wish which had gone to #1 in January. The song also went to #1 in Canada and on Billboard’s soul chart and was Wonder’s sixth of ten #1s on the pop chart and 16th of a record-tying 20 #1s on the soul chart. 

Quotebook
Nothing is weaker than water, yet when united it can become a titanic force. It overcomes because it is relentless.
Deng Ming Dao
365 Tao

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
1988 was the other calendar year besides 1989 that produced a Billboard Hot 100 record 32 #1 songs.

Today’s Stumper
Who else besides Stevie Wonder has had 20 #1 songs on Billboard’s soul chart? – Answer next time!

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The Diary of a Nobody/May 20

Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Monday, May 20
Nice and slow at the hotel this morning…There were three arrivals waiting for me when I reported for duty, all under the same name and all reserved by Quentin in the last ten minutes for some folks from the local rehab place…Q said if they didn’t show up, I might consider not billing them because they stay regularly…Regular readers of this crap know it is certainly not unprecedented for guests not to show up, however when someone makes a reservation at 2245 for arrival later that night they’re probably going to show up, so when it was time to do the audit, I checked them in and later billed them and they showed up right before I went to deliver folios to rooms.

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