Gaylon’s Latest: Criminals, Courtesans, and Constables

Friends, my latest novel Criminals, Courtesans, and Constables is now available to those who had the good sense to purchase either Lifetime or Early Bird access. It will move for everyone else on April 1 for $5.99.

$3.99 Early Bird access is still available though! Click on the button to take advantage of it.

Click here to read excerpts and a sample chapter.

God bless all of you,
Gaylon

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The Daily Dose/Monday, March 25, 2019

The Daily Dose/March 25, 2019
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
The New Zealand government continues to take action in their efforts to mitigate the damage done by the man who killed over four dozen people in separate shootings at two mosques on March 15. Sunday we chatted about the government’s banning of the semi-automatic weapons and magazines believed to have used in the shootings. Today we are going to talk about the government’s decision to ban the possession, sending and reading of the killer’s manifesto. 

(The manifesto is over 16,000 words long and starts off with some whining about declining birth rates amongst whites. He refers to his victims as “invaders” and his acts a “partisan action against an occupying force” a phrase he uses more than once. The attacks were two years in the making and said he chose guns as his weapons in part because of the effect it would have on political discourse here in the United States. Yeah, right.)

The chief censor of New Zealand, David Shanks, said he banned the manifesto because it was:

…deliberately constructed to inspire further murder and terrorism…

OK, fair enough. We read the manifesto – without penalty because I live in a country where I can read what I want – and we can see where he came to that conclusion, though we didn’t come to that conclusion. 

More than anything though, we found ourselves thinking about the title of Chief Censor. Good gravy, you might expect this title in Cuba or China or North Korea, but in New Zealand? Some research, however, shows New Zealand has been deciding what its citizens can and cannot read since the 19th century. Anyone caught with the manifesto faces ten years in prison and up to 14 years for sending it to someone. Again, like the government’s immediate ban on certain semi-automatic weapons, New Zealanders are not, by and large complaining. They’re taking it. 

Yesterday we noted that you cannot legislate perfection. And forbidding people from reading the manifesto may well backfire because, as any kid can tell you, the best way to ensure they read or watch something is to forbid it, especially if they weren’t going to read it anyway. 

The manifesto talks at no small length about the United States, and he actually hits the nail right on the head with this:

The United States is in turmoil, more so that at any other time in history. States hate other states, the electoral college is under attack at every turn and the races are at each others throats. On top of this is a two party political system, split by racial, social, cultural, linguistic and class divides.

The end result is a nation in gridlock, unable to respond to any great change, unable to commit to any great projects. A political and social stalemate that makes any advancement impossible.

And hatred is our now our greatest export. 

Today At The Site
The Diary of a NobodyThere are rubber ducks all over the lobby at the hotel, and it is Sunday Spaghetti Nite (SSN) at The Shire. Today’s Diary. 

The Wife continues to rave about the quality of pasta, saying it is perfect every week…The key is not to cook it too long…Or too short…You gotta cook it just right and you gotta be careful because thin spaghetti takes a couple of minutes less than regular spaghetti…The last couple of weeks I’d rolled with thin pasta, but it was normal size today and I adjusted accordingly: nine minutes, tho remember we are at altitude here, so your time may vary…Something else I do is pour oil in the boiling water right after you throw the pasta in…This is an old bachelor trick from the macaroni and cheese days, decades, and you do this to keep the water from overflowing…

Click on the button to read The Diary of a Nobody. $5.99 includes all entries, past, present, and future.

Criminals, Courtesans, and Constables: Friends, my latest novel Criminals, Courtesans, and Constables is now available for $3.99, a price that goes up to $5.99 on the official release date of April 1.

Would you like to read excerpts and a sample chapter? Anyone would. Click here to do just that.

On This Date
In 1979 – The space shuttle Columbia is delivered to the Kennedy Space Center in Florida, to be prepared for its first launch, scheduled later that year. Assorted delays put this off until April 1981 and its first operational mission came on its fifth mission in November 1982. Columbia would spend 300 days in space over the course of its 28 missions until it disintegrated upon re-entry in February 2003.

In 1972 – Bobby Hull of the Chicago Blackhawks scores a goal late in the third period, giving the Blackhawks a 5-5 tie with the Boston Bruins. The goal is the 600th of Hull’s NHL career, joining Gordie Howe as only the second NHL player to reach the mark. Hull would leave the NHL after the season to join the Winnipeg Jets of the World Hockey Association, returning to the NHL for the 1979-80 season. Hull would retire with 610 NHL goals, now good for 18th on the all-time NHL goal-scoring list.

In 1972 – America is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the first time with A Horse With No Name. The song would spend three weeks at the top and was the group’s first of eight Top 40 hits. A Horse With No Name also went to #1 in Finland and Canada and peaked at #3 in Britain. America, a group formed in Britain by sons of American servicemen, would hit #1 again in 1975 with Sister Golden Hair. 

Quotebook
If we would only give, just once, the same amount of reflection to what we want to get out of life that we give to the question of what to do with two weeks vacation, we would be startled at our false standards and the aimless procession of our busy days.
Dorothy Canfield Fisher

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Elvis Presley had 10 Top 40 hits while he was in the Army from 1958-60. Four went to #1.

Today’s Stumper
Who was the crew of the first space shuttle flight? – Answer next time!

Let’s be friends. Follow me on Facebook.

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The Diary of a Nobody/March 24

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The Daily Dose/Sunday, March 24, 2019

The Daily Dose/March 24, 2019
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Following two mass shootings at mosques in Christchurch on March 15, the New Zealand government has taken steps to restrict access to the weapons believed to have been used in the shootings where 50 people were killed. The government immediately banned the sale of the semi-automatic weapons used in the attacks – to prevent stockpiling – and other laws are being planned. These moves have the support of both the ruling Labour party and the conservative opposition, plus the support of New Zealanders themselves. Implementation of these laws is made easier by the fact that gun ownership is not protected by New Zeland’s uncodified constitution.  

OK, it’s their country, and New Zealanders can do what they want with it. Here are three thoughts: 

One, those in favor of the ban are probably right when they say no individual really needs to have weapons whose sole purpose is to slaughter large numbers of people. Proponents of the universal right to self-defense, and others, can say this and they can say that, but let’s be honest, they are neither particularly necessary nor practical for everyday use. 

Two, the police and military, of course, will be exempted from these laws, meaning citizens will be going up against a government with weapons they don’t have. Be careful here. This is something that should be not done lightly or in haste. Unarmed citizens going up against an armed government was one of the fundamental tenets behind the Second Amendment. 

Three, no criminal is going to obey these laws and those hell-bent on causing terror and mayhem will continue to do so. The only thing gun laws, or any law, really, does is restrict those who choose to comply with it. Those who don’t merely ignore the law and go about their business. 

Of course, it’s normal to want to do something, especially after tragedy. In fact, for New Zealanders to have sat idly by and do nothing would have been completely contrary to human nature. However, we are never going to legislate a perfect society, a lesson History has been offering since time immemorial. 

Today At The Site
The Diary of a NobodySparrow is grateful for a slow night at the hotel, and he actually declines a refund at the retailer. Today’s Diary. 

Another lady wasn’t thrilled with me when I would not accept a return on some hypodermic needles she had bought…She went out of her way to note she had her receipt and she had bought them for delivering insulin to her cat, but I had to tell her that despite those two compelling factors we do not accept returns on anything that is designed to puncture the skin…Intentionally, at least…

Click on the button to read The Diary of a Nobody. $5.99 includes all entries, past, present, and future.

Criminals, Courtesans, and Constables: Friends, my latest novel Criminals, Courtesans, and Constables is now available for $3.99, a price that goes up to $5.99 on the official release date of April 1.

Would you like to read excerpts and a sample chapter? Anyone would. Click here to do just that.

On This Date
In 1958 – Elvis Presley enters the United States Army for a two-year hitch as a draftee. A lot happened to Elvis when he was in the Army. Declining an offer from the Navy to serve as a headliner in Las Vegas and a similar offer from the Army to play music for soldiers, Elvis served with the 3rd Armor Division in West Germany. Also, his mother died, he met his future wife Priscilla and he developed the drug habit that would later kill him. 

In 1936 – The Detroit Red Wings defeat the Montreal Maroons 1-0 in six overtimes in Game 1 of the Stanley Cup semifinals. The only goal was scored by Mud Bruneteau 16 minutes and 30 seconds into the sixth overtime and at 176 minutes and 30 seconds, it remains both the longest 1-0 game and the longest game of any score in NHL history. The Red Wings would win the series in three games and would later defeat the Toronto Maple Leafs to earn their first Stanley Cup. 

In 1958 – Tequila by the Champs is at #1 on Billboard’s Best Sellers in Stores chart – a forerunner of the Hot 100 – for the second of five consecutive weeks. Like some hits, it was the last song recorded at the recording session and was originally the B-side of a single and would later spend four weeks at #1 on Billboard’s soul chart. Tequila was the first Top 40 hit for the Champs and while they had three minor hits later, it remains their only #1 song. Tequila vaulted to #1 from #12, the first time a song jumped to #1 from outside the Top 10.  

Quotebook
Each people is, I believe, inclined to believe it is the purpose of history, that all that has happened is leading to now, to this world, to this country. Few see ourselves as fleeting phantoms on a much wider screen, or that our great cities may someday be dug from the ruins…
Louis L’Amour
Education of a Wandering Man

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
The other teams besides UCLA (1964-65; 67-73) that have won consecutive NCAA Division I men’s basketball titles are Oklahoma A&M – now Oklahoma State – (1945-46), Kentucky (1948-49), San Francisco (1955-56), Cincinnati (1961-62), Duke (1991-92) and Florida (2006-07). 

Today’s Stumper
How many Top 40 hits would Elvis have while he was in the Army? – Answer next time!

Let’s be friends. Follow me on Facebook.

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The Diary of a Nobody/March 23

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A Day Off

Friends, we are taking today off. Sparrow, the Daily Dose, everything will return Sunday.

Thank you,
Gaylon

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The Daily Dose/Friday, March 22, 2019

The Daily Dose/March 22, 2019
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Leading Off will return.

Today At The Site
The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow and The Wife spend some time farting around in the next county – including lunch at the Mexican joint – and the bird feeder is back in business in the front yard. Today’s Diary. 

The Wife has decided we need more gravel for our driveway and she wanted to price a ton or two…The kid working the gravel desk really knew his stuff, which is always a pleasure to see, and it turns out that we can gravel our driveway for around $200, and that includes gravel delivery…

Click on the button to read The Diary of a Nobody. $5.99 includes all entries, past, present, and future. 

Criminals, Courtesans, and Constables: Friends, my latest novel Criminals, Courtesans, and Constables is now available for $3.99, a price that goes up to $5.99 on the official release date of April 1.

Would you like to read excerpts and a sample chapter? Of course you would. Click here to do just that.

On This Date
In 1978 – Karl Wallenda, of the Flying Wallendas, falls to his death while walking a tightrope between two buildings in San Juan, Puerto Rico. Though winds that day exceeded 30 mph, family members attributed the death to faulty wires attached to the tightrope. Wallenda, 73, was originally from Germany and had been performing in his family’s act since he was four. 

 In 1969 – The UCLA Bruins become the first team to win three consecutive NCAA basketball titles, defeating the Purdue Boilermakers 92-72 in Louisville. Coached by John Wooden, it’s the third of seven consecutive titles for UCLA. The Bruins had also won the championship in 1964 and 1965 and remain the only major division team to win consecutive NCAA titles more than once.

In 1969 – Dizzy by Tommy Roe is at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the second of four weeks. Roe co-wrote the song with Freddy Weller, a member of Paul Revere and the Raiders and who later charted as a country act. It was the eighth of eleven Top 40 hits for Roe and his second and final #1 after 1962’s Sheila. Dizzy also went to #1 in Great Britain and Canada.

Quotebook
Life is being on the wire; everything else is just waiting.
Rick Wallenda

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
There wasn’t a Trivia feature last time, silly.

Today’s Stumper
What other teams have also won consecutive NCAA basketball championships? – Answer next time!

Let’s be friends. Follow me on Facebook.

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The Diary of a Nobody/March 21

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The Daily Dose/Thursday, March 21, 2019

The Daily Dose/March 21, 2019
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Leading Off will return.

Today At The Site
The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow eavesdrops on the Halliburton crew’s morning muster and his bored stiff, and he gets $10 for providing chauffeur services.

I never ask for gas money but I don’t turn it down, either, especially from Anacinth, who would be insulted and who is pretty sturdy  besides and could probably smack me around pretty good…She said Supervisor Mary had tried to decline but Anacinth reported she wouldn’t let her, informing Mary that if she didn’t take her money Anacinth would revoke her chauffeur privileges, which made me laff: 

“Wow…You play hardball…if you don’t take my money I won’t let you drive me home!”
“Yep…I will take the bus next time.”

Click here to read The Diary of a Nobody. $5.99 includes all entries, past, present, and future.

Criminals, Courtesans, and Constables: Friends, my latest novel Criminals, Courtesans, and Constables is now available for $3.99, a price that goes up to $5.99 on the official release date of April 1.

Would you like to read excerpts and a sample chapter? Of course you would. Click here to do just that.

On This Date, Quotebook and Trivia are getting the day off. Fear not, they will return.

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The Diary of a Nobody/March 20

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The Daily Dose/Wednesday, March 20, 2019

The Daily Dose/March 20, 2019
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Today is the 165th birthday of the Republican Party, founded in 1854 in Ripon, Wisconsin by citizens opposed to the Kansas-Nebraska Act. 

The purpose of a major political party is to get members elected to Congress and as president of the United States and the GOP does a pretty good job of that. There have been 19 Republican presidents since Abraham Lincoln was elected in 1860 and the GOP has won 24 of the past 40 presidential elections.

I don’t think anyone associated with the party then would recognize or approve of the GOP today because Republicans have not produced a decent elected president since Dwight Eisenhower left office in 1961. Nixon was a crook. Ford was not elected, of course, and did well under circumstances the Son of Man would have found challenging. Reagan had his strengths but he was the most managed president ever, setting a precedent that plagues the presidency to this day. George Bush was a decent man who could not get re-elected. George W. Bush lied to get us into war. Their latest president, Donald Trump, was elected despite not having neither judgment, tact or a long-term vision for our country. His only real talent, displayed every hour on the hour, is drawing attention to himself and, as we predicted, his presidency is every bit as embarrassing as was his candidacy for the White House. 

The GOP should just go away. We are starting to see some Republican resistance to some of his nonsense, but not wholesale rebellion yet. Too bad, because the GOP could use a wholesale rebellion. Both the party and our country would benefit from one. 

The Diary of a NobodySparrow is grateful for a slow night at the hotel because he is dead tired, while The Wife gets the first yard work of the year in. Today’s Diary. 

The Wife reported that she is so ready for spring she actually did some yard work today, in the small patch of garden on the other side of the carport…She said she did some weeding which I thought funny because I would think all the weeds died over the winter, but what do I know.

Click here to read The Diary of a Nobody. $5.99 includes all entries, past, present, and future.

Criminals, Courtesans, and Constables: Friends, my latest novel Criminals, Courtesans, and Constables is now available for $3.99, a price that goes up to $5.99 on the official release date of April 1.

Would you like to read excerpts and a sample chapter? Of course you would. Click here to do just that.

On This Date
In 1852 – Uncle Tom’s Cabin by Harriet Beecher Stowe is published. A novel about the evils and immorality of slavery, portions had originally appeared in The National Era, an abolitionist newspaper published in Washington, D.C. It was the biggest selling book of the 19th-century not named the Bible and is sometimes credited, or blamed, for hastening the start of the American Civil War. 

In 1948 – Michigan defeats Dartmouth 8-4 in Colorado Springs to win the first NCAA ice hockey championship. That first tournament also featured Boston College and Colorado College. Michigan would go on to win six of the first nine titles and have still won the most, nine, the last in 1998. Today the NCAA holds hockey championships in Divisions I and III, and the Division I tournament now consists of 16 teams. 

In 1982 – Joan Jett and the Blackhearts are at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the first of seven weeks with I Love Rock and Roll. The song also went to #1 in Canada, Sweden, Australia, Holland, New Zealand and South Africa and was Billboard’s third biggest song for 1982. It was their first hit song, and though the band would have six further Top 40 hits, I Love Rock and Roll remains their only #1 song. 

Quotebook
I was by no means a scholar, simply an interested reader with nothing to do but live and learn.
Louis L’Amour

Education of a Wandering Man

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
The English House of Commons first met as an independent body in 1341. It received its name because members represented communes and not because its members are commoners. 

Today’s Stumper
The Trivia feature will return? – Answer next time!

Let’s be friends. Follow me on Facebook.

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