The Drivel You Need. The Name You Trust.

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Click here for free chapters from all of Gaylon’s books. 
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Gayon For Congress!
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The Daily Dose/Tuesday, April 30, 2024

The Daily Dose/April 30, 2024
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience.

Leading Off will return.

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow has problems. Today’s Diary. 

I’ll tell you something: with this current gaggle of women, it is going to take some skillful navigation to avoid going out on a date…

———

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On This Date
Extra, extra, read all about it. 

In 1803 – Representatives of the United States and France sign a treaty selling French territory in North America to the US, a transaction History records as the Louisiana Purchase. This despite the fact France didn’t actually possess the territory. Spain had ceded it back to France in 1800, but the transfer would not be completed until November, weeks before France transferred it to the US. President Thomas Jefferson had sent negotiators to Paris authorized to pay $10 million for New Orleans, though negotiators accepted the offer of $15 million – about 70 cents an acre in today’s money – for the entire territory. 

In 1967 – The Baltimore Orioles tie the major league record for fewest hits allowed in a nine-inning loss in a 2-1 loss to the Detroit Tigers in the first game of a doubleheader. The Orioles Steve Barber and Stu Miller combined to pitch a no-hitter in the loss, matching a feat first accomplished by Ken Johnson and the Houston Colt 45s in 1964. The feat has not been duplicated since, though there have been four eight-inning no-hit losses when the home team did not need to bat in the bottom of the ninth inning. 

In 1994 – R. Kelly is at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the fourth and final consecutive week with Bump n’ Grind. The song peaked at #8 in Great Britain and was in its tenth of twelve consecutive weeks at #1 on Billboard’s soul chart, was Billboard’s 11th-biggest song of the year and their biggest soul song of 1994. It was the first of 13 Top 10 hits for Kelly and his first of two #1s. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.

Wisdom came to him not by nature but by trials.
Will Durant
The Story of Civilization, Vol VII: The Reformation

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

Adolf Hitler killed himself by shooting himself in the head, while Ava Braun bit into a cyanide capsule. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

Who was the French leader who authorized the Louisiana Purchase? – Answer next time!

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The Diary of a Nobody/April 29

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The Daily Dose/Monday, April 29, 2024

The Daily Dose/April 29, 2024
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience.

THE PLANET’S GOING TO HELL, BUT LET’S TALK SONG RANKINGS: Today’s Leading Off segment is inspired by yesterday’s trivia question, which concerned Billboard’s biggest song for 1962. The answer is Stranger on the Shore, by an English act named Mr Acker Bilk.  

Dry, Technical Matter: That Billboard ranked it as their #1 song of the year is almost interesting because the song only spent one week at the top, a rather short amount of time for year-end chart-topper, especially when you consider three songs that year spent five weeks at #1. 

Need To Know: Billboard’s specific formula for their year-end rankings is kept secret – sort of like the Colonel’s combination of eleven herbs and spices. But it is generally known to involve an inverse points system – a point for a week at #100, a hundred points for a week at #1 and so on – plus some other factors. 

Oh, Jesus H: It should be noted, too, that over the years this system has resulted in a non-#1 song ending the year at #1. 

WTF: We have never understood this methodology for ranking songs at all; for our money the most weeks at #1 takes precedence, with ties broken by the most weeks in the Top 10 and if that doesn’t break the tie, then most weeks in the Top 40 and then most weeks in the Hot 100.

Running The Numbers: Using this methodology, the #1 song of 1962 is I Can’t Stop Loving You by Ray Charles, which spent five weeks at #1 and eleven weeks in the Top 10, giving it the nod over two Four Seasons songs – Big Girls Don’t Cry and Sherry – which also spent five weeks at #1, but spent ten and seven weeks respectively in the Top 10. 

The Bottom Line: This is boringly subjective, of course, and any chart issued by Billboard demands respect, but we disagree with them: peak position, followed by the assorted tiebreakers is, for our money, the only logical way of ranking songs. And using The Daily Dose methodology, Stranger on the Shore – with one week at #1 and eleven weeks in the Top 10 – would’ve been the 18th-biggest song of the year, not the biggest. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow has a lousy day in the sack. Today’s Diary.

6.0 hours – none of them particularly great – for the day, a horrendous start to the sleep week…

———

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On This Date
Extra, extra, read all about it. 

In 1945 – German Chancellor Adolf Hitler marries his longtime companion Eva Braun in a ceremony in Hitler’s bunker in Berlin. The pair had met in October 1929 when Braun was 17 and Hitler 40 and began seeing each other two years later. The pair had taken to the bunker on April 20 as Allied forces closed in on Berlin and their marriage would last one day, ending when both committed suicide the following day. 

In 1876 – John Carbine of the Louisville Grays establishes a new major league record for most errors in a game by a first baseman in a 6-2 loss to the St Louis Brown Stockings. Carbine had five errors to establish a mark that has been tied several times and still stands and research into whose record he broke was inconclusive. Depending on when the other games that day started, it was either the ninth, tenth, or eleventh game in National League history and remains the oldest record in the major league record book. 

In 1972 – Jerry Lee Lewis is at #1 on Billboard’s country chart – then known as the Hot Country Singles chart – for the second of three consecutive weeks with Chantilly Lace. It was the 17th of 60 country hits for Lewis and his seventh and final #1. The song also went #1 country in Canada, peaked at #43 on the Hot 100, and at #33 in Great Britain. In 1958 a version by The Big Bopper peaked at #6 on the Hot 100. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.

[Charles V] was not mentally keen, except in judging men – which is half the battle…
Will Durant
The Story of Civilization, Vol VII: The Reformation

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

Billboard’s #1 song of 1962 was Stranger on the Shore by Mr Acker Bilk which spent one week at #1, eleven weeks in the Top 10, and 21 weeks on the chart. It was the first #1 song on the Hot 100 by a British act. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

How did Adolf Hitler and Eva Braun kill themselves? – Answer next time

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The Diary of a Nobody/April 28

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The Daily Dose/Sunday, April 28, 2024

The Daily Dose/April 28, 2024
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™

The Sunday Bottom 5
A ranking of some things.

1. Hamas What were you guys thinking???….We’re you expecting Israel to accept your invasion or, perhaps, provide only a light retaliatory response???…You had to have known their response would’ve been as decisive as it has been tragic. 

2. Israel All righty people, you made your point: you are capable of naming the score against Hamas…You can end this war and hold your heads high, at least until the next time you two go at it…Bombing hospitals and killing children not only violates international humanitarian law but also every standard of human decency…You should be ashamed of yourselves. 

3. Mass ShootingsThe three (3)-hole staple about to lose treasured status as only five (5) mass shootings – defined as shootings with four (4) or more (more) casualties –  for week continues 2024 trend of being well below recent weekly averages…There were six (6) deaths, including one shooter, plus only 17 wounded, low numbers for country accustomed to being shooting gallery. 

4. Harvey Weinstein Dismissal of New York sexual assault convictions early candidate for Technicality of the Year, though Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters “pretty sure” defendants in this country are entitled not to have testimony not directly related to the charges they are being tried for offered into evidence. 

5. Fake News Click here for some of the news some wizards amongst us actually believed…Courtesy of the AP. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

Q: Is Read Free Sunday (RFS) at The Diary a thing today?
A: Yes. Yes, it is.

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow moves some product at the hotel’s sundry stand. Today’s Diary. 

The total is $2.50 – a steal, frankly – and he pulls out his wallet and removes three singles and it’s plain there are more in there, so we told him Powerades were priced to move tonite and that for an extra dollar he could get a second one, an offer he immediately jumped on…

———

Would you like 4Ever & Ever access to Gaylon’s crap?
Of course you would.
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It’s easy reading on any device. 

———

On This Date
Extra, extra, read all about it. 

In 1945 – Italian dictator Benito Mussolini is executed in northern Italy by a member of Italian resistance History has never clearly identified. Mussolini had led Italy into World War II on the side of Nazi Germany, but military failures had seen him reduced to being head of a Nazi puppet state in northern Italy. On April 25, Mussolini and his mistress had fled toward the Swiss border, but they were captured on the 27th. History also offers differing versions as to who gave the order to shoot Mussolini. 

In 1901 – Bock Baker of the Cleveland Blues establishes a new American League record for most singles allowed in a game in a 13-1 loss to the Chicago White Sox. Baker, playing in his first and penultimate major league game, gave up 23 singles. Research into whose record he broke was inconclusive, and the major league record is 28 by Jack Wadsworth of the Louisville Colonels (NL) in 1894. Baker played his last major league game on May 13 for the Philadelphia A’s, earning the decision in a 14-5 loss to the Baltimore Orioles. 

In 1962 – Elvis Presley is at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the second and final week with Good Luck Charm. It was the 43rd of 102 Top 40 hits for Presley and was his 18th and final #1 song. The song also spent five weeks at #1 in Great Britain, and the B side of the record, Anything That’s Part of You, peaked at #31 on the Hot 100. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.

Take a good look at people as they are and where they are; then take them someplace else.
Richard Brookhiser
George Washington on Leadership

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

The planet with the orbit closest to Earth is Venus. Their orbits are about 26 million miles apart. Right now, the closest planet to Earth is Mercury, currently about 60.4 million miles away.   

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

What was Billboard’s #1 song for 1962? – Answer next time!

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The Diary of a Nobody/April 27

Yes, Read Free Sunday (RFS) returns at The Diary.

It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Saturday, April 27
There was a gaggle of guests in the lobby when we returned to duty at the hotel tonite…They appeared to be seated in some semblance of order and gave the impression they were having a 12-step meeting, tho the bottles of wine and booze we later saw gave lie to that…The Assistant Front Desk Manager (AFDM) said they were assorted family and friends here for a funeral noting, professionally, they had not set aside a block of rooms – at a discounted rate – but that everyone had booked individually. 

Continue reading

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The Daily Dose/Saturday, April 27, 2024

Friends, we swear The Daily Dose will return on Sunday. Really.

Click here to read today’s entry in The Diary of a Nobody.

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The Diary of a Nobody/April 26

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The Daily Dose/Friday, April 26, 2024

The Daily Dose will return.

Click here to read today’s entry in The Diary of a Nobody.

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The Diary of a Nobody/April 25

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