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The Daily Dose/Saturday, August 17, 2019

The Daily Dose/August 17, 2019
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience…

DON’T LOOK BACK: Though our idea of new music is still the second Boston album, we were intrigued to find out this week that the song Old Town Road by Lil Nas X and Billy Ray Cyrus  – about as unlikely a combination as KISS and Dan Hill – are currently in their 19th week at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100, a record. This begs the rather boring question: 

Is this the biggest song of all-time? 

It depends on who you ask. 

Warm, Personal, Remembrance: We recall listening to Casey Kasem on American Top 40 do year-end countdowns and his staff had their own method: each song got points for each week on the chart: a point for being at #100, two for being at #99 and 100 for being at #1 and so on. Songs were ranked based on the points they earned. This resulted in some songs that did not hit #1 ranking higher than some songs that did hit #1. 

Dry, Technical Matter: A good example of this is Why Me by Kris Kristopherson, which was AT40’s second biggest song of 1973 despite peaking at #16. I took 21 weeks to reach the Top 40, 32 weeks to reach #16 and spent 38 weeks on the chart. It was ranked higher than 26 other #1 songs. 

Get Your Official Daily Dose Policy Right Here: This is completely whack. For our money, any #1 song outranks a song that didn’t hit the top, and you sort out the #1 songs by how many weeks each spent at #1. 

Fly In The Ointment: Except in one case. There is a chart anomaly that trumps most weeks at #1: most times at #1

Now, we’re not talking about a song that hits #1, drops to #2 and then returns to #1. This happens often enough so it no longer has any statistical significance. We’re talking about a song that goes to #1, drops off the Hot 100 entirely, then reappears and returns to #1. 

Get Out Your Record Book: It’s happened once: Chuck Berry’s The Twist went to #1 in both 1960 and 1962, for a total of three weeks. This gets our vote. 19 weeks at #1 is tough to ignore, but you go to #1 twice with the same song, everyone else is fighting for the runner-up spot.

Today At The Site
The Diary of a NobodyThe Sparrows attend the fair. Today’s Diary. 

In the auditorium, there was a lot of judging going on, none of it of stuff from the gardens at The Shire because The Wife couldn’t be bothered to enter anything…After talking smack about entering rhubarb, kale and maybe the onions, nothing got entered…Too bad, too, because we could have cleaned up on the ribbons because there appeared to be a lot fewer entries than in the past and I overheard some blaming the late frosts we had…In fact, there were so few entries you probably could have entered some weeds and gotten at least a 2nd Premium ribbon…The Wife, tho, got some expert instruction on rhubarb – there will be changes in the criteria next year – and she also wants to enter some flowers in 2020. 

It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life.

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On This Date
In 1970 – Man’s first successful mission to another planet, Venera 7, is launched by the Soviet Union, on its way to Venus. It would arrive in December and though the parachute failed and the spacecraft crash-landed on the surface it was still able to send back data that confirmed Venera 7 landed on solid ground, the Venusian atmosphere was 97 percent carbon dioxide and the surface temperature was 887 degrees Fahrenheit. It was Man’s first transmission from another planet. 

In 1894 – Jack Wadsworth of the Louisville Colonels establishes a new major league record for most hits allowed in a game, giving up 28 hits in a 29-4 loss to the Philadelphia Phillies. Wadsworth would finish the season 4-18 with a 7.60 ERA for the Colonels, who finished the year in last place in the National League with a 36-94 record. Wadsworth, – the only Wadsworth ever to play in the major leagues – would finish his big league career the following season with a career mark of 6-38, with a 6.85 ERA. The record still stands. 

In 2019 – Lil Nas X and Billy Ray Cyrus are at #1 on both Billboard’s Hot 100 and soul chart – now known as the Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Songs chart – for the 19th consecutive week with Old Town Road. The 19 weeks is the longest any song has spent at #1 on either chart, breaking the soul chart record of 18 weeks and the Hot 100 record of 16 weeks. The song also peaked at #50 on Billboard’s country chart before the magazine withdrew it. It is the first #1 song on either chart for both acts, and Cyrus joins the Everly Brothers and Elvis as the only acts to have #1 songs on Billboard’s pop, country and soul charts.

Quotebook
You can deal with your problems by the time-tried method of shutting up and letting them pass.
Garrison Keillor
Love Me

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Jim Tobin of the Boston Braves is the only other major league pitcher to hit three home runs in a game, doing so in 1942. 

Today’s Stumper
What was the first American mission to land on Venus? – Answer next time!

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The Diary of a Nobody/Saturday, August 17, 2019

Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Friday, August 16
We went to the fair Thursday…We were there by 1130 for the goat judging, where kids bring a variety of goats to be judged, don’t ask me to explain the differences…I can’t tell…The lady doing the judging and the announcing was tuff to listen to, tho, because every other word was “me”…She appeared to be an expert in goats, tho, pointing out minute differences in animals that looked identical to yours truly…Then we walked back to barns and saw the rabbits and the chickens and the turkeys, none of which were doing anything, just lying around in the cages…They were doing this last year, too, and the year before that…The pigs and cows weren’t doing anything either. 

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A Day Off…

Friends, we are taking a day off today. Everything should return Saturday, but might not return until Sunday.

Thank you,
Gaylon

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The Daily Dose/Thursday, August 15, 2019

The Daily Dose/August 15, 2019
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience…

STAND BY FOR DRY, TECHNICAL MATTER: As anyone from long-time readers to newcomers can tell, we enjoy history here at The Daily Dose. On a philosophical level, knowing history is important because only by knowing the past can we avoid blowing it again, but mainly because tidbits and factoids like this have always thrilled us no end. 

FunFact: So a couple of entries in today’s On This Date segment should surprise no one at all. 

Here’s The Pitch…Dry Technical Matter: The first entry of note is the middle one, Guy Hecker of the Louisville Colonels going 6-for-7 with seven runs scored, three home runs and 15 total bases in an 1886 game, numbers which either set or tied assorted records. 

More Dry, Technical Matter: We came across these records the old fashioned way, while scouring our major league record book years ago. We started noticing Hecker’s name, notable because we hadn’t heard of him, and then we noted his records happened on the same date and that he was a pitcher. We did further research – this was in the day before Mr Internet could tell you anything you want to know in a few seconds – and we have always found Hecker’s performance fascinating. For our money, in terms of records set it’s the single greatest day any major league batter has had. A similar day today would require a player, probably not a pitcher, to have seven hits, four of them home runs, score eight runs and have 20 total bases. 

THIS IS CASEY, COUNTING DOWN THE DRY, TECHNICAL MATTER: Today’s usual music entry yielded our latest piece of useless information: there is a new record holder for most weeks at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100, the Record of Records, by some definitions – but not all – the Biggest Song of All-Time: Old Town Road, by Lil Nas X, who spent one week at #1 as the only credited artist, while a remix with Billy Ray Cyrus is finishing up it’s 17th week at #1, giving it 18 total weeks – all consecutive – at #1. 

Oh Jesus H.: Some, including us here at The Daily Dose, use a different measure, ranking Chubby Checker’s The Twist the biggest song of the Rock Era because it is the only song to go to #1 in separate chart runs. This is a (boring) debate for another time. 

Can We Get Back To Our Dry, Technical Matter?: We came across the new record while doing some research on today’s entry, Endless Love by Lionel Ritchie and Diana Ross, which began it’s nine week run at #1 38 years ago today, which doesn’t make us feel old, we don’t know about you. 

Please Pass The Dry, Technical Matter: Some research showed this song broke the record for most weeks at #1 by a duet, which had been four weeks by The Everly Brothers’ Wake Up Little Susie in 1957. We were curious as to whether or not this was still the record so we did some more research. It’s not.  The record had actually been broken several times but the exciting news was the current record holder for biggest duet is Old Town Road. 

God, We Love Our Dry, Technical Matter: 18 weeks – the new Hot 100 comes out on the 17th – is a long time, though it should be noted downloads and streaming has significantly changed how songs are ranked: of the 37 songs in Hot 100 history that have spent at least ten weeks at #1, 24 hit #1 this century while another spent time at the top in both 1999 and 2000.   

If Dry Technical Matter Is Inevitable…: We haven’t completed our research on the matter, but so far as the most weeks ever spent at #1 on any Billboard chart we’ve been able to find out is 108 weeks. It was on Billboard’s Classical Albums chart, by the album Switched On Bach by Wendy Carlo, then known as Walter Carlos. 

Today At The Site
The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow gives Q some advice. Today’s Diary. 

I was obliged to emphasize to Q one of the basic lessons of working hotels: do not date guests. 

Ever…Under any circumstances…Nothing good will come of it. 

This was an issue tonight because Q’s labors had him running late and he wanted to get to the bar because a female guest wanted to buy him a drink and some pizza…Q reported she had flirted with him when she checked in…I was firm:  

Do not date guests…Ever. 

Q asked if I’d had problems with this and I said no because I’ve never dated guests…Not that the opportunity never presented itself…It has and does…Especially to the pretty girls that work front desks…In fact, earlier this week when I relieved Devani a guy was at the desk talking her up…This never happens when I relieve Mark, tho.

It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life.

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On This Date
In 1977 – A radio telescope in Ohio picks up an unexplained radio signal, now known to History as the Wow! Signal, after notes made on the printout of the reading. A complete examination of the technical details of the signal is, thankfully, beyond the scope of this column, but it had what us humans expected an alien signal to sound like and came from the general area of the constellation Sagittarius. While a variety of theories about the signal’s origin have been advanced – including it being an alien transmission or an Earth transmission that got bounced off some space debris – the exact source has not been determined and all attempts to find it again have failed. 

In 1886 – Guy Hecker, a pitcher for the Louisville Colonels of the then-major American Association establishes or ties several major league batting records in a 22-5 win over the St Louis Browns in the second game of a doubleheader. Hecker established new major league records with seven runs scored and 15 total bases, and tied existing major league marks with three home runs, and six hits. The severn runs scored still stands and all remain records for pitchers. Hecker was the winning pitcher, too, going the distance and giving up four hits. Hecker would win the AA batting title that year with a .341 mark and remains the only pitcher to win a major league batting title and the only player to win both a batting title and an ERA title.

In 1981 – Lionel Ritchie and Diana Ross are at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the first of nine consecutive weeks with Endless Love. It was Ritchie’s first of five #1s as a solo act and Ross’ sixth and final #1 as a solo act. The following week the song would begin a seven week run at #1 on Billboard’s soul chart, was Billboard’ second biggest song of the year and ranked 18th on Billboard’s 60th anniversary chart in 2018. At the time, it was the biggest duet on a Billboard pop chart, eclipsing the four week record of Wake Up Little Susie by the Everly Brothers in 1957. That record was broken earlier this year when Lil Nas X and Billy Ray Cyrus spent their tenth week at #1 with Old Town Road, a mark that is now in its 18th week making Old Town Road the song with the most weeks at #1 ever on the Billboard Hot 100. 

Quotebook
One must wait until the evening to see how splendid the day has been.
Sophocles

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
The other act besides Hank Snow to spend at least 20 weeks at #1 on a Billboard singles chart with two songs is Florida Georgia Line, who spent 24 weeks at #1 on the country chart with Cruise and 50 weeks at #1, also on the country chart and along with Bebe Rexha, with Meant to Be. 

Today’s Stumper
Who is the only other major league pitcher to hit three home runs in a game? – Answer next time!

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The Diary of a Nobody/August 14

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Getting Ready…

The Bottom Ten/Limbering Up
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy 

Friends, we are less than a week away from the first Bottom Ten of the season, the now-traditional Preseason Q&A. This became necessary when college football started kicking off earlier and earlier. The regular weekly crap, starting with the Week 1 college and pro surveys, begins in two weeks. 

So tune in for another season of laughs. The Preseason Q&A and both the Week 1 and Week 2 polls – the first three weeks – will be on the house. After that, it will be stuck behind a paywall. So don’t miss out; click on the button to buy The Bottom Ten now. It’s only $4.99, and that includes access to the hallowed Bottom Ten archives. 

There are two parts to a year: the time when we are producing The Bottom Ten and the time when we are not. Only the first is worth a damn. 

Welcome back, and thanks for reading,
Gaylon

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The Daily Dose/Wednesday, August 14, 2019

The Daily Dose/August 14, 2019
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience:

AND IN THIS CORNER: We are not sensationalists here, but we have to admit we are are enjoying the Jeffrey Epstein suicide/murder imbroglio. 

Good Riddance: Of course, Epstein is not going to be missed, and we’re glad us taxpayers no longer are on the hook for his upkeep. 

OTOH: Boy, this is interesting, even to us, not to mention to the conspiracy theorists who are wringing their hands like at no time since bullets flew in Dallas in 1963. Everyone from President Trump to Prince Andrew – seemingly every swinging dick except Mr Rogers – seems to have been associated with him. This could cause some people problems because Epstein enjoyed the company of girls who had not yet achieved the age mandated by assorted jurisdictions to provide certain types of company to men. 

Dry, Technical Matter: Recent reports indicate the guards, apparently, fell asleep and in keeping with time-honored sleeping-on-the-job practice, falsified their records vis-a-vis checking on Epstein in his cell. This tidbit is beneficial to both sides. Conspiracy nuts can say the guards were bribed – by Queen Elizabeth II, Hilary Clinton, OJ Simpson – to “fall asleep” so a secret agent could infiltrate the Metropolitan Correctional Center (MCC) and do their work. 

FunFact: On the other hand, those who have stayed there say the cells at the Metropolitan Correctional Center were built to prevent people from hanging themselves. Maybe, maybe not. The government being the government, it’s entirely possible they screwed the work order up and the cells came with their own nooses. 

Get Your Official Daily Dose Theory Right Here: Having spent his entire life satisfying himself Epstein, with typical selfishness, decided to call it a day: Epstein killed himself. One, his failed attempt three weeks ago is telling. CIA or MI5 agents or even El Chapo wouldn’t have botched the job: Epstein would have died then. Now, whether Epsetein took advantage of snoozing guards or he himself bribed them, we’re not entirely sure. The latter is not completely unreasonable to believe. 

Final Answer: Despite this logic, though, everything that follows should provide years of entertainment.

Today At The Site
The Diary of a Nobody: The Wife tells Sparrow not to buy any more toothpaste. Today’s Diary. 

Evidently, yours truly has the habit of discarding them when they still have perfectly good toothpaste in them and evidently The Wife has been collecting them and, equally evidently, she’s been doing this for a while because she has a pretty nice collection of them…My instructions are to start squeezing these from the bottom up and not to throw them away…The Wife provided instruction for this and I feigned idiocy and stared with my mouth open and all in all it was pretty funny. 

The problem is, growing up at Casa Sparrow, we never rolled tubes up from the bottom when they were low…I threw them away and my late brother and me used Pa Sparrow’s baking soda until Pa Sparrow got to the store and bought some more toothpaste because we were the types who never bought anything until it ran out…It turns out tossing toothpaste out like this cheats you out of a handful of brushings. 

It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life.

More drivel! Click on the button to read all of The Diary of a Nobody. $5.99 includes all entries, past, present, and future:

On This Date
In 1935 – President Franklin Roosevelt signs the Social Security Act, establishing a government pension for retired workers. The first check was issued on January 31, 1940, to Ida May Fuller of Vermont for $22.54 – about $408 in today’s money – and today, over 60 million people receive social security benefits. Though the three sections of the social security number used to have significance – the first three numbers, for example, were an area identifier – numbers are now issued at random. 

In 1936 – The United States wins the first Olympic basketball gold medal, defeating Canada 19-8 at the 1936 Berlin Summer Games. The tournament was held outdoors, on grass tennis courts, which caused problems when it rained and 1936 remains the only time basketball was played outdoors at the Games. The United States went 5-0 in the tournament, which featured two preliminary rounds before the quarterfinals began. Mexico defeated Poland 26-12 for the bronze medal.  

In 1954 – Hank Snow is at #1 on Billboards’ Most Played in Juke Boxes chart – a predecessor to today’s country chart – for the fifth of 20 non-consecutive weeks with I Don’t Hurt Anymore. It was the fourth of seven #1 songs for Snow and at the time 20 weeks was the second most weeks spent at #1 on any Billboard singles chart, one behind the record of 21 weeks Snow had tied in 1950 (I’m Moving On) and which had been established by Eddy Arnold in 1947-48 with I’ll Hold You in My Heart (Till I Can Hold You in My Arms). Snow was the first act to spend at least 20 weeks at #1 with different songs on any Billboard singles chart. The Billboard country and all-singles chart record for most weeks at #1 is 50 by Bebe Rexha and Florida Georgia Line with Meant to Be.

Quotebook
The artist and his subject are perfectly matched, each supremely confident, each out to conquer the world.
Miles Unger
Michelangelo: A Life in Six Masterpieces

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
The Lovin’ Spoonful’s first top 40 hit was Do You Believe in Magic, which went to #9 in 1965. 

Today’s Stumper
Who is the other act to spend at least 20 weeks at #1 with two songs on a Billboard singles chart? – Answer next time!

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The Diary of a Nobody/August 13

Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Tuesday, August 13
The big mystery at the hotel tonight was a reservation for one Mr Smith…It was for four nights and Future Assistant Front Desk Manager Devani said earlier there had been a walk-in named Smith who booked for one night…Devani didn’t check him in and I’m not entirely sure how she noticed it, but Devani made a note of it, wondering if it wasn’t the same Smith, and left it for me to decide whether to cancel the reservation or check it in…As it was, I checked him in, content to let day shift worry about it, but Mr Smith actually showed up around 0600 or so, making the point moot. 

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The Daily Dose/Tuesday, August 13, 2019

The Daily Dose/August 13, 2019
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience: 

WHAT THE HELL’S GOING ON HERE?: Recently President Trump came out in support of red flag laws. This was in response to the week from hell America had last week, when it seemed there were mass shootings every hour on the hour. 

We’re moderately well-read here, but we found ourselves wondering exactly what a red flag law is, so we did some research. 

Dry, Technical Matter: Red flag laws are a general term for laws that allow family members or police to petition a court to take away someone’s firearms. Currently 17 states have some form of this law on the books, with Connecitcutt, in 1999, being the first to pass one. 

More Dry, Technical Matter: The person who had the weapons taken away eventually, after a set period of time, gets them back. 

Please Pass The Dry, Technical Matter: Though a complete analysis of case law on the matter is, thank God, beyond the scope of this column, it has held up Second Amendment challenges in court. 

Get Your Official Daily Dose Policy Right Here: We do not need a nation of snitches. We do not need families tattling on one another and we do not need the police given this kind of power because once these gates are open they will be impossible to shut. The law will be abused. 

Stop Us If You’ve Heard This Before: Besides, laws do not address the real problem:

America has violent citizens because America has a violent government. 

This country has been either at war or not far from it since Pearl Harbor. That is almost 80 years, four generations of violence and this is the harvest we are now reaping. We don’t need Americans and their constables snitching on our fellow citizens.

We need an America at peace with the world so we can be at peace with ourselves.

But we don’t have that. Consequently, we have a world that is as violent as its ever been, except for our two world wars, and we have a nation that has long been a shooting gallery. 

We Deserve Better: Both our country and our planet are entitled to see the benefits produced by an America at peace. 

Today At The Site
The Diary of a Nobody: It’s a slow day at the VSO and it’s the lastest from the sleep log. Today’s Diary.

Sparrow’s Sleep Log: 1430 Monday until 2130 Sunday…7.0 hours, tho I cheated and took some Nite-T-Nite medicine because I am still feeling sickies…The sore throat scrammed after 24 hours, literally, but then it passed the baton to nasal congestion and I hope this doesn’t turn into one of those deals where I’m sampling a variety of symptoms for three weeks. 

It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life.

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On This Date
In 1961 – East Germany closes the border between the east and west sectors of Berlin and begins construction of the Berlin Wall. Since Berlin was in what was then East Germany, it isolated West Berlin by land from the rest of the world. The wall would eventually consist of 66-miles of concrete, 41-miles of wire fencing and 65-miles of anti-vehicle trenches…There were also 302 watchtowers and 20 bunkers. It stood for 38 years. demolished on November 9, 1989. 

In 1913 – Harry Hedgpeth of the Petersburg Goobers of the Virginia League throws two nine-inning complete games, defeating the Richmond Colts with a 1-0 one-hitter in the first game and a 10-0 no-hitter in the second game. Though there have been instances in the minor leagues where a pitcher threw no-hitters in both games a doubleheader, these games were less than nine innings and Hedgpeth’s feat remains the American professional baseball record for fewest hits given up in a doubleheader for both a team and an individual. On Oct 3 Hedgpeth made his only major league appearance, pitching one inning for the Washington Senators. 

In 1966 – The Lovin’ Spoonful is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the first of three consecutive weeks with Summer in the City. The song also went ot #1 in Canada and Finland and was Billboard’s 11th biggest song of the year. It was the fifth chart single for the group, all of which made the Top 10 and remains their only #1 song. Their next two hits made the Top 10 as well, but then the Lovin’ Spoonful faded, making the top 40 for the last time the following year. Lovin’ Spoonful founder John Sebastian returned to #1 in 1976 with Welcome Back.

Quotebook
I spent the whole day without food, the whole night without sleep…My mind was a perfect blank…I understood nothing at all. That is why I think it is better to study real things in a real world.
Gore Vidal
Creation
Attributed to Confucius

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Carl Lewis won nine Olympic gold medals in his career, including four in long jump, and he remains the only athlete to successfully defend an Olympic long jump title.

Today’s Stumper
What was the Lovin’ Spoonful’s first Top 40 hit? – Answer next time!

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The Diary of a Nobody/August 12

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