The Drivel You Need. The Name You Trust.

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Click here for free chapters from all of Gaylon’s books. 
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Gayon For Congress!
Click here to visit the official campaign website. 

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The Daily Dose/Tuesday, March 19, 2024

The Daily Dose/March 19, 2024
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience.

BACK TO THE FUTURE…OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT: We’re on record as saying future generations will be scratching their heads and wondering what we were thinking when we decided to take Donald Trump seriously. Because he is a man of no intellectual, political, or moral substance. He is an idiot, a lying sexual predator who believes, among other things, that the moon is part of Mars. 

Quote That Sucker: A recent quote illustrated this point: 

Now, if I don’t get elected, it’s gonna be a bloodbath. That’s going to be the least of it. It’s going to be a bloodbath for the country.

Get Your Quack Medical Diagnosis Right Here: These are not the words of a sane person. They are the words of a selfish, ignorant, blatherskite, and this is not a bulletin because this man had been crackers since he first announced in 2015. 

And yet he is the presumptive Republican nominee for president!!!

USA! USA! The fact is Trump remains a thing because America is stupid now and we don’t like being blanketed by that statement any more than you do. But it’s true. There was a time when America would’ve seen through his blather and ignored him, but America can’t be bothered with things like substance and facts anymore. Or whether or not our nominees admit to grabbing women by the pussy. 

Crystal Ball Me: A hundred years from now all new people – perhaps Americans, if there are any left – will look back on a partisan, fractured, and bickering country. They will look back at an America that was comfortable, selfish, and, frankly, stupid. 

The Bottom Line: There was a time when both the American media and the public would’ve dismissed a witless idiot like Donald Trump out of hand. That time has passed and if you and me – we the people – are not careful, America’s time will pass, too. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow gets some wildlife action. Today’s Diary. 

Tammy asked if we’d seen the grouse that was killing time outside a window near the lobby…

———

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It’s easy reading on any device. 

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On This Date
Extra, extra, read all about it. 

In 1649 – England’s House of Commons passes an act that says the “House of Lords in Parliament shall be and is hereby wholly abolished”. England had been a republic since the execution of Charles I in January, so there wasn’t a monarch to give royal assent to the act, which the Lords didn’t approve anyway. Still though, the House of Lords would not meet again until the Convention Parliament convened in 1660. 

In 1956 – The Minneapolis Lakers establish a new NBA record for largest margin of victory in a 133-75 win over the St Louis Hawks in Game 2 of the Western Division semifinals. Research into whose record the Lakers broke was inconclusive and the record stood until Golden State defeated Indiana 150-91 in March 1977. The record is now 62 points, done three times, most recently by Oklahoma City over Portland this past January. The Hawks would win the series in three games before losing to Ft Wayne in the Western Division Finals. 

In 1994 – Ace of Base is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the second of six non-consecutive weeks with The Sign. The song went to #1 in 14 other countries including Australia, Finland, and Spain, peaked at #2 in Great Britain, was Billboard’s #1 song of the year, and its 11th-biggest of the decade. The song spent four weeks at #1 before dropping to #2 for four weeks, and then returned to the top for its final two weeks. It was the fourth of seven Top 40 hits for the group and remains their only #1 song. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.

You have to walk into fear if you want change.
Taylor Cavanaugh

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

The Montreal Canadiens have won the most Stanley Cups, with 24 titles, one as a member of the National Hockey Association and 23 as members of the NHL.  

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

When did the House of Lords first meet as a separate chamber? – Answer next time!

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The Diary of a Nobody/March 18

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The Daily Dose/Monday, March 18, 2024

The Daily Dose/March 18, 2024
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience.

GAYLON FOR CONGRESS…VOTE EARLY, VOTE OFTEN: As we like to say on the campaign trail, America has been at war daily for over 30 years and most days since Pearl Harbor in 1941. We’re also fond of saying, usually right after this, that no nation has survived perpetual war and America will not be the exception to that. Eventually it will destroy us. 

Oh, Jesus H: We are comfortable trotting out the above figures regularly, but we got curious about how many years in her history America has spent at war and how many at peace so we did some research. We’re pretty good researchers here, and while we are hardly The All-Knowing, any figures we come up with are entitled to be treated with respect. 

Let’s Open The Manhole Cover, Shall We?: The numbers aren’t pretty. From the first shots of the American Revolution in 1775 to today, America has been at war for 206 of  249 years. That’s a lot of war. Put another way, America has known only 43 years of peace in almost 250 years of existence.  

Dry, Technical Matter: Since 1789, when our current Constitution was ratified and gave Congress the exclusive power to declare war, they have done so eleven times, despite the fact the US has fought over one hundred wars in that span. These figures include wars with the Indians and occupations of other countries. 

FunFact: Congress last declared war in June 1942, when it declared war on Bulgaria, Hungary, and Romania. 

The Bottom Line: It’s time to declare war on war because an America butting in all over the world simply is not sustainable. The time has come for an America that is at peace both with itself and with the rest of the world. The time has come for an America that gives other nations the dignity of handling their affairs without the benefit of US interference. The time has come to see the planet that would be produced by an America at peace.  

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow is back in the gym after a lousy week of nutrition. Today’s Diary. 

The only possible way this could’ve been worse is if we’d been standing post inside a Sin City buffet…

———

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It’s easy reading on any device. 

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On This Date
Extra, extra, read all about it. 

In 1865 – The Congress of the Confederate States of America adjourns for the last time, in Richmond, Virginia. The House had a light agenda – appropriate for a nation that had less than a month of existence left – and the final entry in the official journal read “The hour of 2 o’clock having arrived, The Speaker announced that the House stood adjourned sine die”, a Latin phrase meaning a day of reconvening had not been set. 

In 1892 – Lord Stanley of Preston, then the governor-general of Canada, presents a silver cup to be given to Canada’s amateur hockey team. Originally the Dominion Hockey Challenge Cup, it is now known as the Stanley Cup and names from the winning teams have been engraved on the Cup since 1924, with the oldest band being replaced roughly every 13 years. Lord Stanley died in 1908 having never seen a game played for his Cup, nor did he ever present it. 

In 1989 – Ricky Van Shelton is at #1 on Billboard’s country chart – then known as the Hot Country Singles chart – for the only week with From a Jack to a King.  It was the fifth of 22 Top 40 country hits for Van Shelton, his sixth of 16 Top 10 hits, and his fifth of ten #1s. The song also went #1 country in Canada and in 1963 a version by Ned Miller went #2 country and peaked at #6 on the Hot 100. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.

When the room was falling in you needed a tiler and not a prophet.
Morris West
The Clowns of God

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

Billboard’s #1 soul hit was Good Times by Chic, which spent six weeks at #1. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

What team has won the Stanley Cup the most times? – Answer next time!

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The Diary of a Nobody/March 17

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The Daily Dose/Sunday, March 17, 2024

The Daily Dose/March 17, 2024
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™

The Sunday Bottom 5
A ranking of some things.

1. DartmouthUsually staid Ivy League school at center of paying athletes imbroglio as guy basketball players vote to unionize…Sunday Bottom Pollsters “pretty sure” most college athletes don’t want to be school employees, but college sports make money and they’re entitled to their share of it. 

2. Biden/Trump II: The Rematch Coming this November to a ballot box near you, it’s Perpetual War vs. Perpetual Ignorance…Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters “strongly suspect” no living American has ever had two worse choices for the presidency. 

3. Mass shootings The 3-hole staple…2024 mass shooting numbers – defined as a shooting with at least four (4) or more casualties – continue to trend lower, with only six (6) shootings, eight (8) deaths, 21 (21) injuries, four (4) arrests, this past week…With presidential election this year that will in no way be divisive or contentious, these numbers may well continue to decrease.  

4. USA! USA! – Forget two elderly candidates starting to lose their marbles, biggest threat to US is almost 80 years of non-stop warfare…No nation has survived perpetual war and US will not be the first…We have until this half-century is out – maybe – to stop this before America implodes.  

5. Joe Biden Fact Check With Donald Trump Fact Check Desk still ramping up for 24/7 operation, President Biden takes misinformation cake this week, hardly for the first time…Click here…Courtesy of the AP.  

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

Yay for the return of Read Free Sunday (RFS) at The Diary. 

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow rakes in the cash. Today’s Diary. 

We did make a $10 gratuity tonite, from this loud, clueless broad who pestered us for most of an hour…

———

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It’s easy reading on any device. 

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On This Date
Extra, extra, read all about it. 

In 1973 – A photograph featuring a former American POW reuniting with his family that would later win the Pulitzer Prize is taken at Travis Air Force Base in Northern California. The photo was of Lt. Col. Robert Stirm with his family, led by 15-year-old daughter Lorrie, running toward him. Three days earlier, upon his release from captivity, Stirm had received a Dear John letter from his wife, who was also in attendance. The photograph was taken by Associated Press photographer Slava Vedder. 

In 1876 – Marshall Brooks of Great Britain becomes the first man to jump higher than 6 feet, at a meet in Oxford, England. Brooks jumped 1.83 meters – 6 feet, 0 inches – to break the mark of 1.80 meters (5 feet 9 inches) he had established the year before, which was later tied. The current world record is 8 feet, .25 inches, by Javier Sotomayor in 1993. 

In 1979 – Instant Funk is at #1 on Billboard’s soul chart – then known as the Hot Soul Singles chart – for the second of three non-consecutive weeks with I Got My Mind Made Up (You Can Get It Girl). It was the first of nine soul hits for the group, their first of three Top 40 soul hits, and remains their only #1. The song also peaked at #20 on the Hot 100 and went to #1 on Billboard’s disco chart. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.

I can be silenced, not by enemies, not by authority – but by my own comfortable indifference.
Morris West
The Clowns of God

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

There were twelve Gemini flights – ten manned – between 1965 and 1966. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

What was Billboard’s #1 soul hit of 1979? – Answer next time!

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The Diary of a Nobody/March 16

Sure, Read Free Sunday (RFS) at The Diary is a thing today.

It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Saturday, March 16
The Assistant Front Desk Manager (AFDM) was a font of information when we reported for duty at the hotel tonite…First, he pointed out the new sign-in procedure for The System…Actually, the procedure is the same, but we were asked to set up a couple of security questions in case The System ever felt the need to ask them to us…Because the only security question that makes sense to us involves names, we chose our father’s first name and our boyhood nickname. 

Continue reading

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The Daily Dose/Saturday, March 16, 2024

The Daily Dose/March 16, 2024
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience.

Leading Off will return.

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow registers for a political convention. Today’s Diary. 

When we first went, it was in a conference room at a big hotel and ran from Friday thru Sunday…This year it’s at the local Masonic lodge on Saturday and Sunday morning and if this keeps up we’ll be able to hold it here at The Shire in a few years…

———

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It’s easy reading on any device. 

———

On This Date
Extra, extra, read all about it. 

In 1966 – Gemini VIII, with Neil Armstrong and David Scott aboard, launches from Cape Kennedy on Florida’s east coast. History remembers the flight for conducting the first docking of two spacecraft and for the capsule turning over and over, which required the mission to be aborted, with the crew returning safely to Earth. Armstrong later become the first human to walk on the moon, while Scott was the seventh. 

In 1872 – The oldest soccer competition in the world is played for the first time, when the Wanderers defeat the Royal Engineers 1-0 in the first Football Association (FA) Cup at Kennington Oval in London. The tournament had begun the previous November with 15 teams, four of which still exist. The FA was formed in 1863, and Arsenal, which competes in England’s Premier League, has won the most FA Cups with 14. 

In 1956 – Tab Hunter is at #1 on Billboard’s Best Sellers in Stores chart – a predecessor to the Hot 100 – for the third of four consecutive weeks with Young Love. The song also went to #1 on Billboard’s Most Played by Jockeys, and Most Played in Jukeboxes charts and was Hunter’s only #1 pop song. The song also went to #1 in Great Britain and peaked at #9 on Billboard’s Best Sellers chart.  Versions by Sonny James, the Crew Cuts, Donny Osmond, and Lesley Gore have also hit Billboard pop charts over the years. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.

There’s nobody more dangerous than a sincere visionary.
Morris West
The Clowns of God

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

Larry Holmes’ last professional fight was against Eric Esch, AKA Butterbean. He won a 10-round unanimous decision in 2002 and retired with a 69-6 career record.

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

How many Gemini missions were there? – Answer next time!

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The Diary of a Nobody/March 15

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The Daily Dose/Friday, March 15, 2024

The Daily Dose/March 15, 2024
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience.

Leading Off will return.

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow forks over for a professional resume. Today’s Diary. 

Well, we got the first draft of The New Sparrow Resume (TNSR) back today, and good gravy, [she] made me look like Shakespeare…

———

Would you like 4Ever & Ever access to Gaylon’s crap?
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Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device. 

———

On This Date
Extra, extra, read all about it. 

In 1820 – Maine is admitted as the 23rd state of the Union. Long an English colony, Maine had been part of Massachusetts since 1691, when it was organized as York County. The British had attempted to lay claim to portions of the area for years, and Maine’s status wasn’t completely solidified until after the Revolution. It was admitted as part of the Missouri Compromise as a free state, which later admitted Missouri as a slave state. 

In 1985 – Larry Holmes retains the IBF heavyweight title with 10th-round TKO of David Bey at the Riviera in Las Vegas. It was the 19th defense of the title Holmes had first won in 1978 when he won the WBC title in 1978, a he vacated in 1983 after a dispute over a mandatory defense. Holmes had been issued the inaugural IBF title in 1983, holding it until losing to Michael Spinks in 1985. It was the only title fight for Bey, who died at age 60 in 2017. 

In 2014 – Pharrell Williams is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the second of ten consecutive weeks with Happy. It was the second of 17 Top 40 hits for Williams and his first of four #1s. The song also went to #1 in 23 other countries, including Russia, Norway, and Great Britain, was in its fourth of twelve consecutive weeks at #1 on Billboard’s soul chart, was its #1 pop and soul song of the year, and it’s 21sts-biggest pop song of the decade. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.

If you spend your whole life waiting for the storm, you’ll never enjoy the sunshine.
Morris West
The Clowns of God

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

Elvis Presley’s first #1 song on a Billboard country chart was I Forgot To Remember To Forget, which went to #1 on the Best Sellers in Stores chart in February 1956. It later went to #1 on the Most Played In Juke Boxes country chart and did not chart on a Billboard pop chart. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

Who did Larry Holmes fight in his last professional bout? – Answer next time!

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The Diary of a Nobody/March 14

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