The Diary of a Nobody – Sun 6/3/2018

Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Sunday, June 3
Busy night at Hotel A…When I got there around 2245 Janis was on the phone and there was someone in the lobby after having just checked in…There were still some others to check in, too, after I took over, rare for Saturdays when everyone who is coming to town has generally arrived by then…Those who work before me know I prefer to have everyone in-house when I take over, so when Janis told me there were still some stragglers I put my hands on my hips and pursed my lips, feigning annoyance, which made her laff…Well, chuckle, at least…She had had a busy night.

There were walk-ins and calls, too, people needing rooms for the night and I almost sold out, which would have entitled me to a candy bar from snack shop.

About 0645 I get a call from a gentleman looking to make a reservation…In a raw display of my authority, I gave him a $10 discount…I’d asked him for a credit card and for some reason he noted it was from an insurance/financial services company where you have to be a veteran to join…I asked him what branch of the service and he said navy and I asked him what he did in the navy and he said “physician” and I told him I rode smoke boats and immediately authorized a $10 discount…I didn’t ask him if his uniform still fit, though.

Friends, be careful, because shift change is not a really good time to call a hotel…Either the off-going clerk is counting his drawer or attending to breakfast or the oncoming clerk is still figuring what the hell is going on.

I am afraid to say breakfast was substandard…One – and this is as grievous a sin as a hotel that offers a complimentary breakfast can commit – we were out of coffee!!!…I am not making that up…I went to get myself a cup when I first got in and there was a sign on the dispenser.

Our coffee dispenser is pretty neat-o…When it has coffee, that is..You put a bag of concentrate in the machine and when you press the button it mixes with water…It is very low maintenance…It should be noted the concentrate comes frozen and Lord know how old it is when it is thawed out and put in the machine…And it should be noted this does not result in the greatest cup of joe in human history…The coffee at Hotel A isn’t too bad, but the coffee at Hotel B you could put in your engine for increased gas mileage and I’ve had some lousy coffee in my time, not that I’m complaining…Anything hot, black and caffeinated that cause you to barf has merit.  

Then the hard-boiled eggs were frozen and we were out of wheat bread and the jam packet and oatmeal packets were lower than a corporate inspector would have preferred and we were out of fresh fruit…Fortunately, I had no guests reporting for breakfast, so no one yelled at me, but this wasn’t up to our usual standard.

I wore my new pants to work at the retailer tonight!!!…I AM NOT MAKING THAT UP!!!

The new dress code allows it, of course, and with it I wore a really boring solid green camouflage colored collared shirt, both of which clashed with the blue vest we wear and I think I’ll go back to what I always wore because I am such a fashion zero I don’t really mind wearing the same thing all the time.

Later, I’m at the service desk and an older gentleman walks up, leans in conspiratorialy and asks in a low voice if you can buy beer on Sunday in this state…Sure you can…We are only allowed to sell three-two beer, but the liquor store across the parking can you a real good buzz…I asked what state he was from and he said Louisiana…Some research shows you can buy beer there any day you want, but the gentleman had been around a while so maybe he remembered the days when you couldn’t.

Sparrow’s Sleep Log: 0830 Sunday until 1430 Sunday, a solid six hours in anyone’s book…Actually, it might be a bit more than that because I suspect I fell asleep a little before 0830…I was in bed before 0800…I got home and fed the cat and the birds and watered the plants outside – two hanging plants and the rhubarb, there aren’t any artichokes this season – and a half-hour is a solid general estimate of how long it takes me to read a little and then doze off, even when I’m really tired, but I don’t think it took that long today.

The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence.

The Diary of a Nobody was inspired by the 19th century British novel of the same name.

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