The Diary of a Nobody – Sat 6/2/2018

Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Saturday, June 2
And the lawn is done!!!

I am not making that up!!!…I was up early, about 1330 and didn’t even bother with morning coffee or farting around online, I got right to work..Recall most of the lawn hasn’t been mowed for a couple of weeks, tho some got done last week before the mower went tits up and I picked the mower up Friday afternoon, tho there wasn’t time to get the lawn in…I broke my heart to see it unmowed, of course, because it looked like nobody cared.

Not anymore…I started in Quadrant A, right outside the front door, fronting Maple Street, then kicked it old school, working Quadrant B – which fronts Main Street – then did C and D…It took a bit longer because the grass was ten feet high, but no matter, in the end it was done…I got most of the yard watered, too, starting with Quadrant A right after it was mowed and working my around…I was worried I might not have time to get it all done before heading in for a shift at the retailer, but that was needless…I not only got it all in, but after showering I realized I had time to go to the diner for a burger and onion rings and I was back with plenty of time to make half a pot of coffee, enjoying a cup at my desk and one on the drive in.

Regrets???…Sure….I would have preferred to get more edging in, frankly…But I didn’t…Mowing and watering was enough for today.

The neighborhood isn’t looking too bad…Recall Devon shaved his pasture a couple of days ago and the new guy across Maple Street mowed his today, too, and it needed it as much as mine did…Jerry, who lives across the alley, needs to do his, tho, and the house across Main Street from The Shire, which is vacant and for sale, really needs some attention, too.

While I slaving away at The Shire, The Wife was off at a baseball game in the big city, where she is still working for the retailer…Based on the pics she sent every five minutes they had great seats, too…Her favorite team was playing, too, and won big.

The big news is there is a new dress code at the retailer…Before we had the option of black or khaki pants combined with a white or navy blue collared shirt…Now, it’s pretty much whatever the hell you want colorwise…Everything has to be a solid color, but you can wear whatever color you want now, and crew neck shirts are OK, too…This could have big implications for my new pants, tho my work pants and shirts are in good condition and there is no reason to start wearing something different simply because you can. 

Had a pretty good line tonight in the lower level break room…It got some laffs, but I don’t know if it will be a Line of the Year candidate…I was in there pouring out some creamer that had a broken top down the drain and Felicia and Hadassah, both assistant managers, are sitting there talking assistant manager stuff when Sergio comes in and reports the new lady didn’t know what zoning was…(It’s code for making things on the shelves look sharp…It should not be a bulletin to find out ol’ Sparrow does not like zoning.)…Felicia said she certainly hoped Sergio explained the concept to her and he said he did…The line from Sparrow:

You should have told her zoning meant going to the break room and sitting down for twenty minutes…

This got a pretty good laff from Sergio and Hadassah, but Felicia thought I was serious, at least until she realized she was the only one not laughing.

Sparrow’s Sleep Log: 0900 Saturday until 1330 Saturday…4.5 hours, less than the six or so we’re accustomed to on Saturday and the 40 hour weekly total is the lowest total since the first week of April and a full four hours less than the monthly averages.

I don’t understand Saturday’s at all…When I go to bed Saturday morning I have generally been up for at least 24 hours, same as when I hit the hay on Wednesday afternoons/evenings…Wednesday’s though, I sleep for at least twelve hours…Saturday’s though, seldom more than six…I’ve thought/whined about it enough to conclude it must have something to do with sleeping at night vs sleeping during the day or, perhaps, I have a bigger sleep deficiency on Wednesdays…This one may never be solved. 

The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence.

The Diary of a Nobody was inspired by the 19th century British novel of the same name.

Read Gaylon’s latest: We The People: Making America America Again at


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