The Diary of a Nobody – Thu 6/7/2018

Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Thursday, June 7
Had lunch at the diner today with Kevin, a big Sparrow for Congress fan from the next county, and his wife Heidi today…He’s been looking to get involved for a while and today was the first chance we had to meet, because he keeps odd hours, too…Presuming meeting me in person didn’t scare him away, I told where he could really be helpful was organizing a get-together or a reception for me…And not just the five members of our small party that lives in the next county, either, but members of the big parties, too and, especially, independent voters because there are no shortage of them up here…He could also win the lottery and donate half to the campaign if he wanted.

In other Sparrow For Congress news, I had a video interview with a kid who is interested in coordinating my online presence, something I have some zero aptitude for…It went pretty well and I sent him a copy of my ebook and we’ll see if he likes it and wants to get involved.

I had a handful of applicants for the position, which was advertised as an internship, although I’ll pay a commission on any funds he raises for the campaign…I advertised on college job boards in the district and on a job board at a national organization and I have another video interview Friday.

Later, I was watering the grass when Jerry, who lives across the alley, came by to chat and he was actually looking for yard advice from ol’ Sparrow…I am not making that up!!!...I know how to mow and water the lawn here at The Shire and, apparently, kill the lilacs, or whatever that purple plant by the front door is and that’s about it but he came over for consultation on dandelions…He still has lots of them while ours are virtually all gone…

One of the more pleasant aspects of the Neighbor Bylaws is that you can keep talking and talking about the same things – and do it for years and decades on end – and Jerry was in the mood to resume our discussion about how the quality of weed eating sprays has decreased significantly, either since 9/11 or the recession, I can’t remember which…He used to be able to spray once and they’d be gone for the entire season but not anymore…He said his mother-in-law suggested a dish soap and vinegar solution but Jerry said he wasn’t too sure about that…He added that he cut his grass fairly high, on the theory it helped shade the lawn and he noted I cut my lawn short…I told him, frankly, that we because a shorter lawn is easier and quicker to mow…Then I snapped my fingers and pointed at him, noting cutting the lawn shorter could be the reason I have no more dandelions and he is infested with them.

Jerry and I also talked about the kid Devon and his plans for the abandoned coffee shop…Enjoyably, this conversation hadn’t changed, either…We reviewed the fact that, as far as we knew Devon was still planning to turn the coffee shop proper into a home for his wife and two rugrats and tear down the small, almost dilapidated house that is just on the other side of the fence from The Shire…We’ve had this conversation before, of course, and in a small town, neighborly it’s fun to have it again.

But there were moderately exciting new elements to our neighborly chat, including Jerry mentioning how his wife noted she’s seen me leave the house at night and come back in the morning and I told him yeah, I work graveyards five nights a week and he nodded knowingly because he worked his share of overnights out at the plant over his 30-plus years there…I said I rather enjoy odd hours and have no trouble sleeping days – well, not too much – and he said he hadn’t mind the life either…He said he brought this up because he will make an effort not to make too much noise while I am trying to sleep, in case he needs to chainsaw something…I said I appreciated that, but it didn’t really matter because I’ve been sleeping with earplugs since The Wife’s second sleepover when we were dating, which made Jerry, again, laff knowingly…It should be noted that I’ve never noticed Jerry chainsawing anything, but if he does it is nice to know it will be done when I am not sleeping

One of my duties while The Wife is away is watering the indoor plants…There are enough so it takes about 15-20 minutes and I use a copper plant-watering thingy for it, the type with the long spout for tuff to reach plants…Well, the cat is using is as her new watering hole, completely ignoring the water dispenser build specifically for cats…It’s kind of cute, actually, watching her stick her paw in and lick the water off.

In other day off news, I also paid the water bill…We still do this the quaint, 19th-century way by taking the bill and a check down to the town hall…And remembering my pledge to check the mail more than once every fiscal quarter, I checked that, too.

Sparrow’s Sleep Log: 0100 Thursday until 0730 Thursday…I’ll tell you what, Wednesday’s nap was as key as it was necessary because it kept me from sleeping 12-14 hours which can sometimes throw things off for couple days because you’re so well-rested…Six-and-a-half hours, though, was great and laid a good foundation for a nice small town day off…It would’ve been longer except the cat woke me up, but I’d slept enough and the cat was right, it was time to start the day. 

The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence.

The Diary of a Nobody was inspired by the 19th century British novel of the same name.

Read Gaylon’s latest: We The People: Making America America Again at

Share Gaylon! Go!
This entry was posted in The Diary of a Nobody - 2018. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *