The Diary of a Nobody 2/19/17 – Drivel From Sparrow!

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Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Sunday, February 19
The Wife and I were in the shower this morning and, what with my hair growing out and all, I determine it was time to wash my hair with shampoo, that first time that’s happened in over ten years…The Wife happens to have the shampoo in her hand and I hold my hand out and she mocks me by putting a very small amount on my palm, noting I don’t have enough hair to warrant a full dosage…I looked at the shampoo without enthusiasm.

Christ, honey, I brush my teeth with more stuff than that!

Later, after we’re out of the shower, she’s sitting down blow drying her hair when I sashay in to brush my teeth and she mocks me yet again by handing me a hair brush.

Damn, lots of whining today at the resort…One husband and wife were pissed we didn’t have a grinder for their coffee beans…Another was pissed his unit wasn’t ready at the 2pm time his VIP status entitled him to.

He didn’t complain too much to me when I began his check-in process a bit after 2pm…But by 3pm he was really complaining to Tanya about it.

Honeslty, I’d feel the same way if I were in his shoes…Owners pay good money for their perks and to not get a 2pm check-in when you are entitled to one would rankle me, too…No doubt…But he didn’t really need to take it out on me…It was a bit after 3pm, the swing shift crew was here, including Tanya, was working till 5pm or so, and I was in the office counting the drawer for the gift shop…I came out to do something or another and he starts in on me because evidently I’m more concerned with getting out of here than helping him…I’ve already apologized profusely and he didn’t really need to be ragging on me, and he was entitled to know this, too…So I walked up to him and smiled and said:

I’m sorry you feel that way, Sir…I’m a working man and I have another job to go to.

I said this solemnly, and if he got the impression I worked 120 or so hours a week well, I have no control over that…For his part, he did show some contrition, but he continued to complain to Tanya.

This really happened at the retailer today: the couple whom I talked bird seed with last week, who said they would report back to me to share their findings on the expensive bird seed and the cheap bird seed actually came back and reported their findings to me!

I am not making that up!!!…I didn’t recognize them, but they recognized ol’ Sparrow tho, of course, I recognized them as soon as they mentioned the bird seed…I am pleased to report that they said the birds LOVED the cheap bird seed, just like I said they would…They said they were starting to get a nice variety of birds, too, all of which makes me want to get our bird feeder going again.

The big news, tho, at the retailer was I had to call 9-1-1…I am not making that up, either…I was on Aisle 5 checking someone out when I hear a thud followed by a woman yelling for help…I get there pretty quickly – leaving my beloved Aisle 5 completely exposed to vandals – and our new checker Jackie, a girl in her mid-20’s, has fallen down…She’s had a seizure, tho this is the type that freezes the body because she’s not twitching, tho her left arm is sticking up.

Well, I call 9-1-1 immediately…A manager named Felicia is there, and so are a couple of others and they are doing a good job of letting nature take its course…Paramedics come in a few minutes and by this time she is coherent again and even sitting on a chair, a direct violation of the instructions I relayed from the dispatcher who said to leave her laying down.

Jackie was later returned to duty, tho she had a nice bandage on her head…She was talking the Connie the personnel chief about something or another…Their lives seemed complete without me interfering with my two cents, so I didn’t bother them.

The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence.

It was inspired by the 19th-century British novel of the same name.

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